The top 5 worst movies ever thread

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-03-29 03:59am

Worthy of a rental, in my opinion. I thought "The Windtalker" sucked though I didn't see it. A friend told me that it's really gory and that...

*SPOILER*

...Nicolas Cage gets offed in the end. Me not being a big Cage fan, may just enjoy it.

I should have put Resident Evil on my list instead of Jabberwocky. It's always the little nitpicks that make me hate a movie.

For instance: Mila Jojovich looks too hot in the whole movie. SHE IS FIGHTING ZOMBIES. YOU DO NOT LOOK HOT WHILE FIGHTING THE HIDEOUS UNDEAD FOR YOUR LIFE. Also, when she jumps up and kicks that dog-thing's head. Michel Rodriguez is also too pretty and makeup-laden to be a special teams type trooper. I can't believe they fired George Romero (the Dawn- and Day of the Dead director) from directing it. Bastards.

I will overlook the blatant discontinuities with the video game. After all, I liked Wing Commander for some unknown reason. Kilrathis as giant frog poison breathing things? The hell!? I don't care if Blair is too young for Mark Hamill to play him in that movie! Mark Hamill's Blair rules! Malcolm McDonnell did well, as that was his character anyway.

Captain tycho · Post by **Captain tycho** » 2003-03-29 06:36am

In no order...

1. Titanic
2. Deep Impact (like someone said above, I was rooting for the asteroid)
3. The entire Rambo series
4. Highlander Sequels
5. And so much more...

XPViking · Post by **XPViking** » 2003-03-29 08:41am

Well, one real bad one was "Yonggary".

XPViking

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-03-29 08:50am

U571 and Pearl Harbor were travestys

U571 wasn't historically accurate, but I thought it was a good movie.

Oh, let's not forget 'Mission: Impossible 2'. Most predictable movie ever.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-03-29 09:34am

OK, the History majors have complained about films that aren't accurate, but imagine if the period of history covered by your degree was 4 billion years..
Then imagine how annoying it must be to watch the following movies with me:

Jurassic ParkI, II, and III; Godzilla; and all other films with dinosaurs; Ice age (i know it's not supposed to be serious, but still...)Armagedden and all other films dealing with mass extinction events; The X Men; Planet of the Apes and all other films that attempt to portray evolution; and numerous others I cna't think of right now.

Moral of the story - SUSPENSION OF BELIEF! they are, after all, just stories.

j1j2j3 · Post by **j1j2j3** » 2003-03-29 09:39am

XPViking wrote:Well, one real bad one was "Yonggary".

I tried to forget that one too. It was supposed to be in America but you can see Samsung COEX in the distance.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2003-03-29 10:40am

5. Dune (Lynch Version, needed better FX and acting)
4. Battlefield Earth (the novels sucked ass also)
3. Jurassic Park 3
2. Blair Witch (soo overrated
and preemptively..
1. The Core

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-29 05:20pm

HemlockGrey wrote:
U571 and Pearl Harbor were travestys
U571 wasn't historically accurate, but I thought it was a good movie.

Oh, let's not forget 'Mission: Impossible 2'. Most predictable movie ever.

Yes, it was predictable, and had a somewhat lame plot, but at least it made some sense unlike the first. And did you notice that Tom Cruise is a geek in the first one, while he's some cool dude in the second?

I've seen the second one, but I had no idea there were FOUR fucking Aladdin movies! That is awful! I loved that movie (and the SNES game, too!) Sons of bitches. Disney is rapidly going down the shitter. They make fucking sequels for 50+ year-old movies straight to video because they know no one is going to bother going to a movie theatre to watch their worthless shit. I hope Walt Disney is rolling in his grave/frozen container/whatever the fuck he's in.

I never knew there were 4 Aladdin movies. However, I did know there were other sequels, like "The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2: Victor Hugo Must Be Spinning In His Grave", "Pocahontas 2: The Only Thing Worse Than Disney Taking an Actual Event and Making it Into a Cartoon is Making a Straight-to-Video Sequel of It", and "The Jungle Book 2: Don't Let Rudyard Kipling Find Out, Or He'll Kick Our Asses".

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-03-29 05:45pm

innerbrat wrote:Moral of the story - SUSPENSION OF BELIEF! they are, after all, just stories.

Suspension of disbelief has its limits. For example, look at ID4. Asking us to accept that a Mac laptop can hack into an alien computer system and write/compile working code for its operating system and native computer language given a couple of hours preparation time is simply too much.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-03-29 05:54pm

Jadeite wrote:5. Dune (Lynch Version, needed better FX and acting)

No. It needed a better script and better EDITING. And for 1984, the SFX are pretty damned good.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-03-29 05:55pm

Darth Wong wrote:
innerbrat wrote:Moral of the story - SUSPENSION OF BELIEF! they are, after all, just stories.
Suspension of disbelief has its limits. For example, look at ID4. Asking us to accept that a Mac laptop can hack into an alien computer system and write/compile working code for its operating system and native computer language given a couple of hours preparation time is simply too much.

Thank you! If it was a Linux computer, it woulda worked!

Besides, everyone knows that Linux (+)w|\|z j00!

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-29 05:57pm

Darth Wong wrote:Suspension of disbelief has its limits. For example, look at ID4. Asking us to accept that a Mac laptop can hack into an alien computer system and write/compile working code for its operating system and native computer language given a couple of hours preparation time is simply too much.

About this computer virus part,did the aliens forgot to install an anti-virus in their system

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-03-29 06:00pm

Hell how did the Mac talk to it?

Screw the virus part.

Oi...that movie had many problems.

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2003-03-29 06:07pm

Darth Wong wrote:
innerbrat wrote:Moral of the story - SUSPENSION OF BELIEF! they are, after all, just stories.
Suspension of disbelief has its limits. For example, look at ID4. Asking us to accept that a Mac laptop can hack into an alien computer system and write/compile working code for its operating system and native computer language given a couple of hours preparation time is simply too much.

I don't think it's all that unrealistic. The aliens probably imported all of their computer stuff from Microsoft, in an effort to better understand the human technologies. Then, for some inexplicable reason, some alien desk jockey decides that Windows would be the ideal computer O/S to manage the alien invasion because it looks pretty.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-29 06:07pm

Ghost Rider wrote:Hell how did the Mac talk to it?

Screw the virus part.

Oi...that movie had many problems.

Like why exactly the aliens needed to use our own satellites to communicate with each other.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-29 06:17pm

Darth Wong wrote:
innerbrat wrote:Moral of the story - SUSPENSION OF BELIEF! they are, after all, just stories.
Suspension of disbelief has its limits. For example, look at ID4. Asking us to accept that a Mac laptop can hack into an alien computer system and write/compile working code for its operating system and native computer language given a couple of hours preparation time is simply too much.

I always just figured that they'd already hacked the computer on the fighter (they had 50 years to play with it, after all), and he hooked the Mac up to that. Of course, it's still horribly stupid to give a remote terminal in a fighter root access to the mothership's mainframe, but the aliens probably never figured on having their small craft compromised.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-03-29 06:21pm

RedImperator wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:Suspension of disbelief has its limits. For example, look at ID4. Asking us to accept that a Mac laptop can hack into an alien computer system and write/compile working code for its operating system and native computer language given a couple of hours preparation time is simply too much.
I always just figured that they'd already hacked the computer on the fighter (they had 50 years to play with it, after all), and he hooked the Mac up to that. Of course, it's still horribly stupid to give a remote terminal in a fighter root access to the mothership's mainframe, but the aliens probably never figured on having their small craft compromised.

Leaving aside all of the other issues, how could they do that when it was powered down for 50 years? It would be ridiculously difficult to reverse-engineer network protocols and computer languages from scratch even if the thing is running, but it was powered down until the alien ships arrived in orbit. This means they had all of a few days to figure it out.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2003-03-29 06:46pm

5. Dune (Lynch Version, needed better FX and acting)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No. It needed a better script and better EDITING. And for 1984, the SFX are pretty damned good.

1984 is no excuse, look at Star Wars, it had better effects in 1977, and yes, I know Lucas alot of emphasis into effects, but Dune really has no good excuse in my opinion.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-29 06:53pm

Darth Wong wrote:Leaving aside all of the other issues, how could they do that when it was powered down for 50 years? It would be ridiculously difficult to reverse-engineer network protocols and computer languages from scratch even if the thing is running, but it was powered down until the alien ships arrived in orbit. This means they had all of a few days to figure it out.

They had Data to help them.

In the novelization, they said they COULD run regular electricity through the ship, but it would rapidly overheat, so they couldn't keep the systems running for any length of time. Frankly, it's still just about impossible that even with 50 years, they'd be able to decypher a totally alien computer language (hell, it may not have even run on binary code), but...wait a minute? Why the hell am I defending this movie? The movie where they didn't think to detonate a nuclear weapon UNDER the ship instead of against the side, or preferred to send F-18s with AAMRAMS to shoot down a 15 mile wide spaceship instead of B-52s to bomb it from above. Fuck it. You're right, Mike, it's irrideemably stupid.

RadiO · Post by **RadiO** » 2003-03-29 06:59pm

Three of the films I really detest (Pearl Harbor, Highlander 2 and The Lost World) have been justifiably hauled over burning tyres, so my picks are:

1) Supernova: No, seriously: What the fuck were they thinking?

2) Judge Dredd - Shit.

3) Escape from LA - I'm depressed that I can actually remember half the plot of this one. How could it be so dull?

4) Gone in Sixty Seconds (90s version) - Crime! Stunts! Car chases! Shit getting wrecked! And yet somehow, it's still uninteresting!

5) The Thin Red Line - Preaches that 'War is Hell', yet actually serves up 'War as a Three-hour Moby Video'.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-03-29 07:50pm

UltraViolence83 wrote:I should have put Resident Evil on my list instead of Jabberwocky. It's always the little nitpicks that make me hate a movie.

Reminds me of something you said earlier, namely: Monty Python's Jabberwocky. Jabberwocky was NOT a Monty Python film.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-29 08:23pm

I was just reading about ID4.

If those stupid aliens would have just used Norton or Mcafee anti virus, they could have taken over the Earth! Stupid aliens. When will they learn?

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » 2003-03-29 09:23pm

5: Planet of the Apes, recent version

"Get your paws off me you damn dirty human!"
What the fucking hell? They didn't just tear up a classic, they annihilated it.

4: Star Trek V

If Shatner seen anywhere near the script ever again he is to be shot on sight.

3: Red Dawn

A group of kids succeed where America's armed forces fail. A Rusian soldier discraces his homeland by not blowing Patrick Swayze's head off at the very end.

2: Battlefield Earth

"I'm evil. I find everything funny and laugh all the time just to make sure people are reminded about how evil I am. I also fit the word 'leverage into every third sentence. I also have the IQ of a bacterium suffering from fetal alcohol."

"I'm a greasy freedom fighter. I'm also as thick as a plank, but I can learn to fly harriers in under ten minutes with the use of a flight simulator."

"I'm a suicide bomber, I have a nuke. ADMIRAL AKBAR!"
*blows up Psychlo homeworld*

1: The Starwars Holiday Special

I don't want to talk about it. It makes me feel dirty inside.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-03-30 07:04am

I thought Signs was OK apart from a few things:

1- Shalamans character's exit:
*all calm and cool* "jeez i'm sorry i knocked over your wife a few years ago. Anyway i'm leaving now as all this alien shit is getting too weird. I am really sorry for killing your wife. Oh and by the way, i had a fight with an alien and locked him in the pantry, have a look at this cut he gave me. See you around."*all calm and cool*
Come on! If you had just been attacked by an alien the last thing you'd be would be calm and cool.

2- It was too much like that Mini advert:
"Annoyingly martians appear, all over the world. New mini saves the day, martians go home. The end."

3- The aliens are killed by water. HELLO! What's in our atmosphere in large quantities! What are we constantly breathing out!

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-03-30 03:56pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:No, anvil I'm not talking stealing the framing of the scene or the Ideas behind it. <Also the Cocaine Barbie was done before that too>

I mean literally Ripping the scene (lower picture quality since they are lifting it from a copy, change in grade of film stock/color, different back groud shading overall)

I have seen action movies where the have taken the chase scenes from "Bullit" or "The French Conncetion", and just put them in, with cuts to their actor's in closeups out of sequence.

You mean like Bakshi's LOTR (the one with orcs that make their Rankin-Bass incarnations look like Darth Vader, the easily amused barpatrons, and our heroes slicing orcs for five straight minutes)?