Little help on Scientology

CelestialWisdom · Post by **CelestialWisdom** » 2003-03-29 11:18pm

Can anyone explain scientology to me, cause I've been told like 8 different things and the only thing that they had in common was something to do with like out-of-the-body/etherial moments.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2003-03-29 11:24pm

Explain scientology, that's like explaining why if god loves all, he sends most to hell.

But lets try, the way it works is this:

Guy starts religion on a bet, the religion is designed to make money. So the way he works it is people come in, he says they have bad karma (they have a special word for it) and this causes their problems, they pay him money. He helps them out, they leave happy.

Now here's where it gets complicated, seeing how he has no return customers he starts two things, first an emperor of a space nation trying to stop over-population sends a bunch of people in DC-10s (no joke that) to earth, drop them in volcanoes, where they die. This causes the bad spirits everywhere around us. Secondly people live many past lives as aliens, and their karma carries over. What that does is allows him infinite buisness over the course of time with each person coming in, spending money for one problem from this life, and leaving to return next week for the next life.

Then the person died, and his followers made it even more incoherant, I hope my explanation helps.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-03-29 11:31pm

From clambake.org:

Once upon a time (75 million years ago to be more precise) there was an alien galactic ruler named Xenu. Xenu was in charge of all the planets in this part of the galaxy including our own planet Earth, except in those days it was called Teegeeack.

Now Xenu had a problem. All of the 76 planets he controlled were overpopulated. Each planet had on average 178 billion people. He wanted to get rid of all the overpopulation so he had a plan.
Xenu took over complete control with the help of renegades to defeat the good people and the Loyal Officers. Then with the help of psychiatrists he called in billions of people for income tax inspections where they were instead given injections of alcohol and glycol mixed to paralyse them. Then they were put into space planes that looked exactly like DC8s (except they had rocket motors instead of propellers).

These DC8 space planes then flew to planet Earth where the paralysed people were stacked around the bases of volcanoes in their hundreds of billions. When they had finished stacking them around then H-bombs were lowered into the volcanoes. Xenu then detonated all the H-bombs at the same time and everyone was killed.
The story doesn't end there though. Since everyone has a soul (called a "thetan" in this story) then you have to trick souls into not coming back again. So while the hundreds of billions of souls were being blown around by the nuclear winds he had special electronic traps that caught all the souls in electronic beams (the electronic beams were sticky like fly-paper).
After he had captured all these souls he had them packed into boxes and taken to a few huge cinemas. There all the souls had to spend days watching special 3D motion pictures that told them what life should be like and many confusing things. In this film they were shown false pictures and told they were God, The Devil and Christ. In the story this process is called "implanting".
When the films ended and the souls left the cinema these souls started to stick together because since they had all seen the same film they thought they were the same people. They clustered in groups of a few thousand. Now because there were only a few living bodies left they stayed as clusters and inhabited these bodies.
As for Xenu, the Loyal Officers finally overthrew him and they locked him away in a mountain on one of the planets. He is kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery and Xenu is still alive today.

Straha · Post by **Straha** » 2003-03-29 11:35pm

See close enough to what I said, now why didn't they kill Xenu?

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-03-29 11:39pm

To leave room open for a sequal.....

Xenu Strikes Back....
Return of the Xenu...
The Wrath of Xenu...
The list goes on.

Sindai · Post by **Sindai** » 2003-03-29 11:39pm

Magic? You know, like the rest of it.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-03-29 11:41pm

Keevan_Colton wrote:To leave room open for a sequal.....

Xenu Strikes Back....
Return of the Xenu...
The Wrath of Xenu...
The list goes on.

With even more franchising, I mean back story, through The Phantom Xenu and Attack of the Xenu.

BlkbrryTheGreat · Post by **BlkbrryTheGreat** » 2003-03-29 11:57pm

Ron L Hubbard, the founder of Scientiology, actually said something like "The best way to make money is to start your own religion." many years before he actually founded Scientiology. Interpert that, in relation to his religion, however you wish to.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-03-30 01:48am

Scientology is an evil organization that ruthlessly pursues the accumulation of wealth through the domination of it's followers' lives. It shows it's true colors whenever anyone threatens that source of income, i.e. by silencing those that might try to illuminate the utterly ludicrous nature of Scientology.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-03-30 02:01am

Scientology also believe that humanity must reach a state of "Spiritual Clearness" through removing the vestiges of past lives and thus neutralizing all parts of the mind.

The Scientologists then offer expensive pseudo-spiritual courses to members, so they can reach a higher state of "spiritual clearness" and finally become "clear." Unfortunately, few Scientologists have officially earned "clear" status.

It sounds slightly like quackery to me.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-03-30 02:02am

charles manson claimed to be theta clear. just so you know.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2003-03-30 02:59am

Scientology? A giant con started by a hack writer. Its greatest crimes against Mankind to date have been the acting career of John Travolta and the movie Battlefield Dearth.

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-03-30 06:13am

I think the CoS and the Raelians should join forces. Larger mass of idiocy means easier target. They may get into an argument wether Xenu is a total jerk (scientologists) or the Elohim (Raelians).

Xenophobe3691 · Post by **Xenophobe3691** » 2003-03-30 06:58am

L. Ron Hubbard wrote: "Why am I writing nickel a word novels when I could start a religion and make some
real money?"
-- L. Ron Hubbard

Arrow · Post by **Arrow** » 2003-03-30 08:56am

LOL! Now that's entertainment!

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-03-30 09:24am

Anyone ever play Fallout 2?

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-03-30 10:07am

Keevan_Colton wrote:Anyone ever play Fallout 2?

ROFLMAO

I *loved* slaughtering the Hubologists with my Vindicator Minigun. I was the angel of death in that one.