This is Why I Don't Want Alexa Around My Parrots

[Broomstick]

Petra the African Grey knows how to use an Alexa:





This is why I have Alexa on my Kindle turned OFF - my birds get into enough mischief as it is.

[Raw Shark]

I stayed in a basement with a neglected African Grey while visiting a girlfriend's parents once. Those things are fucking terrifying. I did not sleep for a second. My mere presence was enough for it to scream the parrot version of, "Hey you! Let me out right now or I swear I will end you!"

[Raw Shark]

Ghetto Edit: I actually tried to reason with the vicious little dinosaur. I was like, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I don't even have the keys! I have no control over this situation unless I locate an angle grinder and burn some bridges and I know it sucks!" and it was like (exaggeration for the sake of humor but still not entirely off base), "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds." No sleep was had that night.

[Vendetta]

My ex's parrot used to make the Windows Vista startup noise.

It had questionable taste in computing.

It also held phone conversations with itself. Including making the ringing and hang up noises.

[Broomstick]

Raw Shark, next time feed the Raging Dinosaur. It still might not want to be friends, but they're very food motivated. Best suggestions are either nuts or fruits. NO avocado or eggplant or chocolate, they're all toxic (avocado being the worst and most deadly). Also like bread, cereal, sugar (again, no chocolate).

[madd0ct0r]

A pub near me has one called Buiscuit. I made friends with her on the first visit thanks to Broomstick's anecdotes over the years.

[Raw Shark]

Raw Shark, next time feed the Raging Dinosaur. It still might not want to be friends, but they're very food motivated. Best suggestions are either nuts or fruits. NO avocado or eggplant or chocolate, they're all toxic (avocado being the worst and most deadly). Also like bread, cereal, sugar (again, no chocolate).

I will keep this advice in mind.

[Broomstick]

A bag of peanuts in the shell and just talking to a bird in a calm voice can work wonders. Like I said, don't trust a bird like that, there's a good chance it's gone insane/psychotic from neglect, but convince it you're a source of food and it's motivation to murder you and eat your eyeballs drops significantly.

[Simon_Jester]

...Going by his posts, this sounds like a generalization of a lot of the rules Raw Shark already uses socially to deal with the people he deals with.

[madd0ct0r]

...Going by his posts, this sounds like a generalization of a lot of the rules Raw Shark already uses socially to deal with the people he deals with.

People generally are far less complicated then they like to think.

[Simon_Jester]

That, or Raw Shark needs to start dealing with people who are significantly smarter than Broomstick's parrots, as opposed to merely "not significantly dumber than..."

[U.P. Cinnabar]

Or, at least, significantly more sane.

[Broomstick]

Hey, MY parrots are well adjusted and sane. They are cautious around new humans, but once reassured those shaved apes are not a danger to them are quite cute and cuddly (although most people are not that enthused with parrots grooming their hair for them - the first time one of my parrots decided to groom the landlord's beard he, the landlord, wasn't at all reassured by the act of affection).

But a neglected and/or abused parrot, particularly one of the larger ones (and African Greys count in that group), can be outright dangerous to a human being. They really do know to go for vulnerable points like eyes and throats. Something like a hyacinth macaw peels brazil nuts like we peel an orange, they most certainly CAN tear your throat out if sufficiently provoked.

And parrots are not normally classed as predators - the falconers I know have secured fences and cages for their birds as much to protect wandering idiot humans from the flying killing machines (that's what raptors like hawks and eagles are) as to protect the birds from the humans. Likewise, with the return of bald eagles to the lower 48, the DNR often posts guards around their nests not to protect the birds but to protect stupid humans from being maimed or killed by mommy and daddy eagle protecting their brood.

Hey, these tiny critters survived where T.Rex didn't. They're cute as all hell but they are NOT pushovers!

[The Romulan Republic]

Just think of them as Velociraptors with wings. Its pretty much what they are.

[U.P. Cinnabar]

I was actually talking about Sharks choice of friends. Of the insane redheaded variety, in particular.

My bias where birds are concerned favors those which can be fried, grilled, roasted, baked and plated up.

(but not boiled. Ewww)

[Raw Shark]

I was actually talking about Sharks choice of friends. Of the insane redheaded variety, in particular.

What can I say? I love her. It's dumb, but I do. I just talked to her yesterday. She is a jerk, and I slept with her for 2.5 years. I fully admit that I'm a jackass.

[U.P. Cinnabar]

No, you're just a fool for love, Shark. Love does that to everyone.