Highly amusing

[Lord_Xerxes]

A coversation i just had. Name/sn ommited to protect the guilty.

**********: i had the worst sex of my life this weekend
Ashecole666: LOL!
Ashecole666: Why?>
**********: fue horible
Ashecole666: ?
**********: i smoked like 2 cigarettes afterwards and not b/c it was good
**********: lol
**********: it was awful
**********: he was done in like 1 minute
**********: he didn't even get inside me and he thought he was
**********: it was so terrible
Ashecole666: LOL
Ashecole666: Was this ****?
**********: yea
Ashecole666: The guy who can't cum?
**********: yep
Ashecole666: LOL.
Ashecole666: Has he ever had sex before?
**********: so if i were a guy... i'd have to say an extreme case of blue balls
**********: yes
**********: that's the thing
**********: many times
**********: so i dunno what the fuck the problem was
Ashecole666: LOL. That's hillarious. Ah, that makes me feel better about my early-sex-days fuck ups with you.
**********: can you please fuck me though
**********: i'm so sexually frustrated
Ashecole666: [nelson] Ha-ha! [/nelson]
Ashecole666: Join the fucking club.
Ashecole666: I'm a charter member.
**********: well i don't wanna be
**********: lol
Ashecole666: Only if you do it my way.
**********: dammit
**********: why
**********: please just do it my way
Ashecole666: No.
**********: dammit... i'm so fuckin horny and depraved i'll pay you for it... i don't care if it's illegal
**********: lol
Ashecole666: It's my cock. I'm the captain of this ship. I command the helm. Not you.
Ashecole666: Hmm...I am a little sort on money these days........
**********: hahaha
Ashecole666: I'll do it your way. But only if you let me ass-fuck you my way afterwards.
Ashecole666: Bend over, bitch.
**********: i'm not having anal sex
**********: i'm just gonna have to rape you then
**********: ::lick::
**********: do you work tonight
Ashecole666: You don't have the ability to rape me.
**********: cuz i know what we're doing if you dont
**********: sure i do
Ashecole666: No, I don't. And Jason's comming over.
**********: i'll get some ruffies and then ride you
Ashecole666: So unless you come over and suck his dick too, then you can't have my cock.
**********: that works
Ashecole666: ...........................
Ashecole666: There is no god.
Ashecole666: You can't have this and god
Ashecole666: They're mutually exclusive.
**********: if you have alcohol i'll do both of you
**********: lol
**********: you ARE god to me
Ashecole666: ................................
Ashecole666: And god commands you to bend over like a good little wench.
Ashecole666: And take it like you're supposed to.
Ashecole666: If you disobey god, you will unleash his horrible wrath on you.

[neoolong]

Right.