Oooh! Japan sends forces to Iraq!

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-04-01 09:24pm

According to an article in today's Ikamono Shinbun, Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi announced the deployment of Godzilla to the Persian Gulf to search for nuclear arms.

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Translated from the Ikamono Shinbun:

Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi announced that Japan would deploy Godzilla to Iraq to provide assistance to U.S. troops in locating nuclear waste and possible nuclear weapons. In a public announcement outside the Tokyo Diet Building, Koizumi said, "The Japanese constitution does not allow the Self-Defense Force to deploy in the offensive assault on Iraq. As Godzilla is not a part of the recognized Self-Defense Force, he cannot be subject to our laws. We send Godzilla to the American forces as a token of good-will, and we hope that he proves useful in their search missions."

It is not clear if Japan is allowing Godzilla to go to Iraq or if Godzilla is traveling independent of the wishes of the government. Godzilla has historically not cooperated with government officials, and Tokyo has burnt down on more than one occasion due directly to a Godzilla-related incident.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-04-01 09:25pm

Where is this from? The Onion?

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-04-01 09:27pm

Hahahaha. That's great.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-04-01 09:28pm

I foresee serious problems in tactical co-ordination between Godzilla and the coalition forces. The language barrier will be a significant problem; while Aussie, Brit, and American soldiers all use some variant upon English, Godzilla seems to prefer incoherent unearthly screaming sounds.

Other problems would include friendly fire and collateral damage, since Godzilla does not have a good track record in distinguishing friendlies from enemies, civilians from either, or for that matter, even noticing buildings before crashing into them and knocking them over. His habit of indiscriminate urban demolition through physical impact and the use of his fire-breath could potentially be a PR problem for the coalition.

On the plus side, his intimidating physical presence and virtual immunity to conventional weapons would have a powerful detrimental impact on Iraqi morale, and suicide bombers would most likely be stepped on.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-04-01 09:30pm

Darth Wong wrote: On the plus side, his intimidating physical presence and virtual immunity to conventional weapons would have a powerful detrimental impact on Iraqi morale, and suicide bombers would most likely be stepped on.

So, do you think it would tickle when he steps on the suicide bombers?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-04-01 09:37pm

It's from Anime News Network. They have a series of April Fools jokes today. Most of them are pretty lame, though, like this.

One was that Kodomo no Omocha had finally been licensed for US release, which is something you don't joke about.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-04-01 09:43pm

AH Godzilla the best nuke finder in the world.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-04-01 10:22pm

That's cause he is a nuke. Shaped nuke, but nuke nonetheless.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-04-02 10:45am

Will the maser tanks actually prove useful this time? Will Super X 5 make an appearance?

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2003-04-02 11:51am

Actually, I heard that Japan will still be deploying more conventional forces under the guise of "Caretakers" for the big G.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-04-02 12:20pm

So, um Mr. Godzilla sir. Have you found any nukes yet? Still looking?

Oh, okay. You'll let us know when you find some? ....Okay.

I think he's getting closer. I'm sure he'll find something sooner or later.

Yep, he'll find them nukes.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2003-04-02 02:09pm

SAMAS wrote:Actually, I heard that Japan will still be deploying more conventional forces under the guise of "Caretakers" for the big G.

They better try to avoid the Iraqi T-54s or there'll be lots of scrap on the battlefield.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-04-02 02:20pm

Seriously MUST every mere mention or pic of mecha be verbally carpet bombed by the HAB?? It gets kind of annoying after awhile. Sort of liek Palestinian-Israeli debates, they go nowhere.

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2003-04-02 02:21pm

Ok ok sorry.
I didn't want to start a flamewar.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-04-02 02:23pm

SAMAS wrote:Actually, I heard that Japan will still be deploying more conventional forces under the guise of "Caretakers" for the big G.

Hey look, something more expensive and totally overblown than Japan's
national Tank production!

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-04-02 02:27pm

Yes, as we all know that there are hundreds of mech wankers on this board, and we have to keep reminding people that mechs aren't feasible/efficient for combat, else they will take over. It's Ahab and his whale. Or Quixote and his windmill. Take your pic.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-04-02 02:28pm

Darth Utsanomiko wrote:Yes, as we all know that there are hundreds of mech wankers on this board, and we have to keep reminding people that mechs aren't feasible/efficient for combat, else they will take over. It's Ahab and his whale. Or Quixote and his windmill. Take your pic.

Actually, has anyone heard the sorry tale of Japan's national tank designs?

They're some of the most hideously expensive and over-engineered
tanks in the world, with costs even higher than the M1A2.

I can see where the fixtation on overly complex, expensive designs in
their anime universes come from

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-04-02 02:55pm

The Type 90 tank in particular looks like a terrible design. It's very boxy, and has almost no sloped armor at all.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-04-02 02:59pm

Have the Japanese ever fielded a good tank? I was under the impression that their tanks in WWII like the type 70 (I'm not sure of the numbers but I know they list the names as TYPE XX) were pieces of shit. Kind of odd considering their technical aptitude.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-04-02 03:16pm

Stravo wrote:Have the Japanese ever fielded a good tank? I was under the impression that their tanks in WWII like the type 70 (I'm not sure of the numbers but I know they list the names as TYPE XX) were pieces of shit. Kind of odd considering their technical aptitude.

Correct you are. Why Japanese armour was a generation behind the rest of the world, EXCEPT for Italy, is a good question.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-04-02 03:59pm

Tsyroc wrote: I think he's getting closer. I'm sure he'll find something sooner or later.

Yep, he'll find them nukes.[/i]

And then eat them.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-02 04:15pm

Stravo wrote:Have the Japanese ever fielded a good tank? I was under the impression that their tanks in WWII like the type 70 (I'm not sure of the numbers but I know they list the names as TYPE XX) were pieces of shit. Kind of odd considering their technical aptitude.

The Japanese type 95 and 97 where probably the worst tanks of WW2. There turrets could be jammed with small rocks or a canteen, there tinfoil armor was venerable to rifle and from some angles even pistol fire.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-02 04:17pm

Frank Hipper wrote:Correct you are. Why Japanese armour was a generation behind the rest of the world, EXCEPT for Italy, is a good question.

No, Italy had much better tanks then Japan

generator_g1 · Post by **generator_g1** » 2003-04-02 09:14pm

Japan has also tapped the services of the G-Force in an effort to contain Godzilla's collateral damage.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-04-03 11:06am

HEY! No highjacking a perfectly good Godzilla wank thread with Mech or Tank wanking.

Unless it's Maser tanks.

They kind of fit all three categories. D

Almost forgot this part.

G