RedImperator wrote:Lifetime. Pure Lifetime. It's got everything they want: a woman trying to succede at a man's job, a woman in danger, a woman at the mercy of evil men (as a bonus, they're men from a deeply mysogynist culture), battles that will be staged with cheap, half-assed special effects, and a weepy happy ending when she's reunited with her family. They'll be running that bad boy three nights a week.
True... but think about how TNT would make the movie: Woman is taken hostage in her baggy camo pants and a tight green tank-top, hair pulled back in a tight pony-tail, dirt and blood smeared on her face, in the clutches of the enemy (who obviously try to get her to do lude sexual favors).... bra-less, and apparently a little bit cold....
Our heroine (not "heroin") breaks the crude duct-tape job that binds her hands together with a sharp rock she found on the ground, and systematically disarms / disables / kills her captors, stealing one of their primitive-looking automatic weapons, all the while breasts a-jigglin'. She goes Ramboette and, after killing off most of the Republican Guard, is finally taken captive just before she pulls the trigger on Sadaam himself. She is maimed and tortured to the point of blacking out, the inquisitors trying to get information from her as to the movements of US/UK troops. (During the process of torturing, her camo pants get ripped, and the camera pans to a nice thigh-shot.) Meanwhile, her lover, a marine, slaps together a makeshift rescue squad and goes AWAL to go get her. After the bodycount hits an all-time high (higher then HotShots part Deux,) the marine and whats-her-name reunite in a sweaty, dirty, bloody, passionate, carnal embrace. Top-Gun-esque music plays in the background and credits roll.
...I should DEFINATELY be a director...
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"I hear and behold God in every object, yet I understand God not in the least, / Nor do I understand who there can be more wonderful than myself."
--Whitman
Fucking Funny.