Stupid Recruiting Practice

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2003-04-03 05:15am

Today I witnessed just about the stupidest Christian recruiting practice I've ever seen. I was at work, and I noticed a large shiny coin-shaped object on the floor. I picked it up, and on one side, it said, "How will YOU spend eternity?" and on the reverse it had some bullshit Bible quote about how believing in Jesus grants you unending life. I figured some dumbass must have dropped it on accident, so I picked it up and threw it away.
Then I noticed another one, exactly the same, in a different part of the store. And another. Suddenly it dawned on me...these were dropped on purpose! The shiny silver coin attracts people to pick them up, and then WHAMMO, they're hit with some Jesus-freak guilt trip or something.

I think that that's just about the lamest, most wasteful, useless recruiting tactic I've ever witnessed, not to mention they threw their garbage all over my floor. Fucking bastards.
But seriously, what the hell kind of person does this? Or more importantly, what the hell kind of person would be taken in by it? If you're a devout Christian, all right, fine, but if you're a devout Christian because you picked up a proselytizing coin from the floor of a video store you're certifiably batshit insane.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-04-03 06:02am

Whoa, that's a new one.

Clever yet somewhat stupid, I could slip over, and sue the Christians though...

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-04-03 07:05am

Robert Treder wrote:Today I witnessed just about the stupidest Christian recruiting practice I've ever seen. I was at work, and I noticed a large shiny coin-shaped object on the floor. I picked it up, and on one side, it said, "How will YOU spend eternity?" and on the reverse it had some bullshit Bible quote about how believing in Jesus grants you unending life. I figured some dumbass must have dropped it on accident, so I picked it up and threw it away.
Then I noticed another one, exactly the same, in a different part of the store. And another. Suddenly it dawned on me...these were dropped on purpose! The shiny silver coin attracts people to pick them up, and then WHAMMO, they're hit with some Jesus-freak guilt trip or something.

They're using science against you.. it's proven that people are attracted to shiny things (men much more so than women). Since men are so much more inclined towards shiny things (hence shiny cheerleading outfits), I would think they would "recruit" more men (and thus more vapid and physically powerful people) than women. Maybe.

I think that that's just about the lamest, most wasteful, useless recruiting tactic I've ever witnessed, not to mention they threw their garbage all over my floor. Fucking bastards.
But seriously, what the hell kind of person does this? Or more importantly, what the hell kind of person would be taken in by it? If you're a devout Christian, all right, fine, but if you're a devout Christian because you picked up a proselytizing coin from the floor of a video store you're certifiably batshit insane.

People are fundies for less cause than that...

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-04-03 07:05am

Gandalf wrote:Whoa, that's a new one.

Clever yet somewhat stupid, I could slip over, and sue the Christians though...

That would be interesting, to be able to file suit against a whole religion.. hmmmm....

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-04-03 08:35am

Damn, now they're going for my one weakness, shiny metal objects. Damn them to hell!!!!!!

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-04-03 08:39am

Men like shiny things more than women? I don't see men oogling useless trinkets in jewelry stores.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-04-03 08:45am

Vympel wrote:Men like shiny things more than women? I don't see men oogling useless trinkets in jewelry stores.

You don't see men going into those stores... well, not unless dragged by their wives/girlfriends/fiancées... and then they don't look at ANYTHING because they were forced in there...

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-04-03 09:02am

We need to counter with Satan coins, on the reverse is a pentagram, with the words "Your greed has now made you a servent of the dark lord"

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-03 09:56am

I love visiting jewelry stores.

Hotfoot · Post by **Hotfoot** » 2003-04-03 10:09am

verilon wrote:You don't see men going into those stores... well, not unless dragged by their wives/girlfriends/fiancées... and then they don't look at ANYTHING because they were forced in there...

Ah, but you see, for what purpose do women use jewelry?

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2003-04-03 10:12am

Hotfoot wrote:
verilon wrote:You don't see men going into those stores... well, not unless dragged by their wives/girlfriends/fiancées... and then they don't look at ANYTHING because they were forced in there...
Ah, but you see, for what purpose do women use jewelry?

I have a deal with my wife: Every useless piece of carved rock she gets to dangle from holes in her flesh, I get a useless piece of plastic and rock-variants to plug into my computer, for the purpose of making shiny pictures even shinier, and appear faster.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-04-03 10:15am

Lagmonster wrote:
Hotfoot wrote:
verilon wrote:You don't see men going into those stores... well, not unless dragged by their wives/girlfriends/fiancées... and then they don't look at ANYTHING because they were forced in there...
Ah, but you see, for what purpose do women use jewelry?
I have a deal with my wife: Every useless piece of carved rock she gets to dangle from holes in her flesh, I get a useless piece of plastic and rock-variants to plug into my computer, for the purpose of making shiny pictures even shinier, and appear faster.

LMAO.

Hotfoot ~ EXACTLY. As I said before.. the cheerleading outfits..

On a sidenote, Catholic schools are more likely to have the shortest cheerleader's skirts than public schools. And shinier in the chest and crotch regions.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-04-03 10:25am

Isn't that littering?

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-04-03 10:34am

neoolong wrote:Isn't that littering?

I had the same thought. But then, how often do you see littering laws actually enforced?

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-04-03 10:50am

Vympel wrote:Men like shiny things more than women? I don't see men oogling useless trinkets in jewelry stores.

No, but what about the shiny golden drop necklace that leads to the deep cleavage? Or the shiny metal chrome on a Harley, or the deep shine of a brand new car?

Anyway, IIRC, there was a study that proved men are more likely to bend over to pick up a shiny round object, thinking it's money.

EDIT: Recalled the study.

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-04-03 10:51am

Vympel wrote:Men like shiny things more than women? I don't see men oogling useless trinkets in jewelry stores.

That's because men are attracted to useless shiny things, while women are attracted to useless EXPENSIVE things.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-04-03 10:53am

Slartibartfast wrote:
Vympel wrote:Men like shiny things more than women? I don't see men oogling useless trinkets in jewelry stores.
That's because men are attracted to useless shiny things, while women are attracted to useless EXPENSIVE things.

AMEN!

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-04-04 02:39pm

Slartibartfast wrote:
Vympel wrote:Men like shiny things more than women? I don't see men oogling useless trinkets in jewelry stores.
That's because men are attracted to useless shiny things, while women are attracted to useless EXPENSIVE things.

No no, women are attracted to useless glittering things, while men are attracted to potentially useful heavy equipment that they nonetheless have no immediate use for. For example, jewellery vs having your own high-powered drill press.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-04-04 02:46pm

Darth Wong wrote:
Slartibartfast wrote:
Vympel wrote:Men like shiny things more than women? I don't see men oogling useless trinkets in jewelry stores.
That's because men are attracted to useless shiny things, while women are attracted to useless EXPENSIVE things.
No no, women are attracted to useless glittering things, while men are attracted to potentially useful heavy equipment that they nonetheless have no immediate use for. For example, jewellery vs having your own high-powered drill press.

Been watching Home improvment

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2003-04-04 02:50pm

Darth Wong wrote:
Slartibartfast wrote:
Vympel wrote:Men like shiny things more than women? I don't see men oogling useless trinkets in jewelry stores.
That's because men are attracted to useless shiny things, while women are attracted to useless EXPENSIVE things.
No no, women are attracted to useless glittering things, while men are attracted to potentially useful heavy equipment that they nonetheless have no immediate use for. For example, jewellery vs having your own high-powered drill press.

Ah but one day when I'm going to remove those ugly yellow tiles in the bathroom that jackhammer will come in handy

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2003-04-04 02:52pm

Everyone's raised good stereotypical points on the nature of men and women. But I've broken it down to be even simpler.

If it is expensive, and it shimmers, glitters, shines, radiates, glows, glitzes, twinkles, sparkles, glints, or looks pretty in a non-metallic kind of way, and if you can measure it in grams, karats, or calories a woman will like it.

If it's expensive and it hums, roars, bangs, growls, idles, rumbles, purrs (in a Shelby kinda way), or screeches, and if you can measure it in mm, RPM, MPH, ft.-lbs, Newtons, or decibels, if it has a caliber, and if it has any moving parts at all, a guy will like it.

Consider this a brief outline of Gift-Giving 1101.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-04-04 03:05pm

Queeb Salaron wrote:Everyone's raised good stereotypical points on the nature of men and women. But I've broken it down to be even simpler.

If it is expensive, and it shimmers, glitters, shines, radiates, glows, glitzes, twinkles, sparkles, glints, or looks pretty in a non-metallic kind of way, and if you can measure it in grams, karats, or calories a woman will like it.

If it's expensive and it hums, roars, bangs, growls, idles, rumbles, purrs (in a Shelby kinda way), or screeches, and if you can measure it in mm, RPM, MPH, ft.-lbs, Newtons, or decibels, if it has a caliber, and if it has any moving parts at all, a guy will like it.

Consider this a brief outline of Gift-Giving 1101.

Where do dildos fall in this hierarchy of shit people want?

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2003-04-04 03:10pm

RedImperator wrote:Where do dildos fall in this hierarchy of shit people want?

Heirarchy??

It was only a brief outline. Dildos aren't gender-specific, but rather sexuality-specific. So they don't apply.

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