Sucker-punching the other kid out would also be illegal in any event, but the part where I feel old is where I weigh in with advice based more on morals than libido and eagerness to show off.
MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Moderator: Edi
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Sucker-punching the other kid out would also be illegal in any event, but the part where I feel old is where I weigh in with advice based more on morals than libido and eagerness to show off. I am officially adulting.
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Sucker-punching the other kid out would also be illegal in any event, but the part where I feel old is where I weigh in with advice based more on morals than libido and eagerness to show off. #adulting.
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Double.
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
MAGA CO-WORKER: That... Whatever says there's no TP in the women's room.
ME: You wanna get it, or shall I?
MAGA CO-WORKER: How does that thing have any right to-
ME: Whoa? I though you loved America? You have a red, white, and blue eagle tattoo...
MAGA CO-WORKER: So? [paraphrase] It's confusing for me!
ME: This is America. The land of the free. Can't that customer dress how they want here and poop in a toilet?
MAGA CO-WORKER: Yeah, but... [walks away, head down]
ME: [silently takes what tiny win he can with those shitheels]
ME: You wanna get it, or shall I?
MAGA CO-WORKER: How does that thing have any right to-
ME: Whoa? I though you loved America? You have a red, white, and blue eagle tattoo...
MAGA CO-WORKER: So? [paraphrase] It's confusing for me!
ME: This is America. The land of the free. Can't that customer dress how they want here and poop in a toilet?
MAGA CO-WORKER: Yeah, but... [walks away, head down]
ME: [silently takes what tiny win he can with those shitheels]
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
ME: Bro. You are faded.
CO-WORKER: I'm always faded.
ME: Son. I am nobody's example. But you are going to get your ass shit-canned if you come around here wasted. Do you have a library card?
CO-WORKER: A What?
ME: [facepalm] Little dude. GO FIND SOMETHING FREE TO DO WHEN YOU'RE OFF WORK. YOU ARE GOING TO GET FIRED. I AM NOT GOING TO RAT YOU OUT, BUT IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU'RE WASTED.
CO-WORKER: Geez, you don't have to be an asshole...
CO-WORKER: I'm always faded.
ME: Son. I am nobody's example. But you are going to get your ass shit-canned if you come around here wasted. Do you have a library card?
CO-WORKER: A What?
ME: [facepalm] Little dude. GO FIND SOMETHING FREE TO DO WHEN YOU'RE OFF WORK. YOU ARE GOING TO GET FIRED. I AM NOT GOING TO RAT YOU OUT, BUT IT'S OBVIOUS THAT YOU'RE WASTED.
CO-WORKER: Geez, you don't have to be an asshole...
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: So give them blood! Blood! Gallons of the stuff!
ME: Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough!
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: So give them blood, blood... [gasping for breath]
ME: Fuck, that was a workout.
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: We never skip leg day!
BOTH: [sideways high-five]
ME: Wanna get a beer with your old man?
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: Hi, have you met me?
ME: Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough!
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: So give them blood, blood... [gasping for breath]
ME: Fuck, that was a workout.
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: We never skip leg day!
BOTH: [sideways high-five]
ME: Wanna get a beer with your old man?
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: Hi, have you met me?
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: So give them blood! Blood! Gallons of the stuff!
ME: Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough!
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: So give them blood, blood... [gasping for breath, surveying the human wreckage we leave in our wake]
ME: Fuck, that was a workout.
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: We never skip leg day!
BOTH: [sideways high-five]
ME: Wanna get a beer with your old man?
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: Hi, have you met me?
ME: Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough!
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: So give them blood, blood... [gasping for breath, surveying the human wreckage we leave in our wake]
ME: Fuck, that was a workout.
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: We never skip leg day!
BOTH: [sideways high-five]
ME: Wanna get a beer with your old man?
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: Hi, have you met me?
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: [puts the boot in] So give them blood! Blood! Gallons of the stuff!
ME: Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough!
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: So give them blood, blood... [gasping for breath, surveying the human wreckage we leave in our wake]
ME: Fuck, that was a workout.
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: We never skip leg day!
BOTH: [sideways high-five]
ME: Wanna get a beer with your old man?
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: Hi, have you met me?
ME: Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough!
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: So give them blood, blood... [gasping for breath, surveying the human wreckage we leave in our wake]
ME: Fuck, that was a workout.
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: We never skip leg day!
BOTH: [sideways high-five]
ME: Wanna get a beer with your old man?
TECHNICALLY NOT MY DAUGHTER: Hi, have you met me?
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
* I'm not exactly recommending this, but you wanna get in some high-stakes life-affirming action, you could do worse than walking around a bad neighborhood with a pretty girl at night.
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker