MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines

[Raw Shark]

ME: Nice shirt.

Q-ANON PSYCHO: Thanks! Have you gone down the rabbit hole?

ME: Oh, I know what it means. Y'know, rabbits are cowardly around other animals, but they're vicious little bastards among their own kind. They kill children.

Q-ANON PSYCHO: Uh. I'm not sure-

ME: I'm sure you guys killed two little kids, because your cult told you some nonsense.

Q-ANON PSYCHO: Now wait a minute, those kids might have been-

ME: If you finish that sentence I'mma show you how rabbits act.

[The Infidel]

@Work today, many had home office. We were 3 grumpy old guys. Basically, we said hello when we came, and good bye when we left. In between, not so much chit chat. Another day in Paradise.

A couple of weeks ago, on a Monday, I took the elevator up to the office with a woman bringing some cake. She said her teen kid got confirmed and there were cake leftovers. In my mind, I said "Yeah, confirmations can be so exhausting, so much preparation and stuff to sort out, and when it's over, it's all the cleaning and tidying up. It's almost like you should have the Monday free to bounce back". My mouth translated this to "Yeah, you look like you need a vacation"... WTF? Thing is, I don't quite remember her face (she works on a different floor), so I couldn't, and can't, fix it, and by now, it's too late anyway.

[Raw Shark]

A couple of weeks ago, on a Monday, I took the elevator up to the office with a woman bringing some cake. She said her teen kid got confirmed and there were cake leftovers. In my mind, I said "Yeah, confirmations can be so exhausting, so much preparation and stuff to sort out, and when it's over, it's all the cleaning and tidying up.

My confirmation ceremony was my last official day as a Catholic. I'd been saving that news up inside for seven years at that point, but I didn't get the confidence to tell my parents and the priest until then. "I'm a man in the eyes of the church now, right?" "Yeah." "Good. I quit." Father Frank was a lot more chill about it than my Mom, that's for sure.

R.I.P, Father Frank. You were one of the good guys.

[LadyTevar]

ME: Nice shirt.

Q-ANON PSYCHO: Thanks! Have you gone down the rabbit hole?

ME: Oh, I know what it means. Y'know, rabbits are cowardly around other animals, but they're vicious little bastards among their own kind. They kill children.

Q-ANON PSYCHO: Uh. I'm not sure-

ME: I'm sure you guys killed two little kids, because your cult told you some nonsense.

Q-ANON PSYCHO: Now wait a minute, those kids might have been-

ME: If you finish that sentence I'mma show you how rabbits act.

Yeah. I wanna know how he was gonna end that sentence as well.

[Solauren]

I hate say it, you can't blame Q-Anon over that idiot. He was a loon long before they came along. One article I read;

According to a court filing, a prison physician believes Coleman meets the criteria for unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychiatric disorders.

That's not an issue that develops from reading stupidity online. At least I think it does. That would explain alot, however....

[Ralin]

I hate say it, you can't blame Q-Anon over that idiot. He was a loon long before they came along. One article I read;

According to a court filing, a prison physician believes Coleman meets the criteria for unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychiatric disorders.

That's not an issue that develops from reading stupidity online. At least I think it does. That would explain alot, however....

I think there's a difference between a crazy person randomly latching onto something as the focus of his delusions and a crazy person latching onto a conspiracy deliberately put out as bait to encourage people to have a harmfully delusional view of the world around them.

[Raw Shark]

Yeah. I wanna know how he was gonna end that sentence as well.

Well, according to the article I read, the baby-stabber believed that his wife was a lizard person from outer space and that she had tricked him into fathering two half-lizard children (aged 3 and 1) with her. He said he believed this because she had been growing increasingly distant and withholding affection. Now, in my mind that kinda sounds more like the behavior of a woman who is getting ready to divorce you for being a total whackjob, but if I said that to the guy at the store he would've just smirked and commanded me to, "Do your own research," even though I clearly already did which is how I know this stuff, and then I would've popped him in the mouth and gotten fired / probably arrested which isn't what I need right now.

[Raw Shark]

HOOKER: Hey, can I get a pack of Newports?

ME: Of course.

HOOKER: No, I mean can you spot me a pack?

ME: I can't do that, sorry.

HOOKER: [straight-up grabs my package] Are you sure?

ME: Yes, I am sure about that. We're both on camera right now. And also, a pack of cigs? Girl, don't you love yourself? Surely a moment of your time is worth more than that...

HOOKER: Y'know, I... [runs off, wiping tears]

ME: ...oO(I'm changing lives, out here. Every day. Not all heroes wear capes, Matty. Not all heroes wear capes. You didn't really want a handjob there. You're better than that. Keep telling yourself)

[Raw Shark]

CO-WORKER: I'm moppin' floors! Just a N***a wit' a bucket!

ME: You don't know my life, Bitch! You think I'm menial, well suck it!

CO-WORKER: I clean toilets! Everybody gotta shit! And when I find a... oh, fuck. This just got real.

ME: Is everything okay? Let me take a- WHOA that's not good.

CO-WORKER: That's a lot of blood.

ME: That IS a lot of blood.

CO-WORKER: What even happened, here?

ME: I dunno, man. But this can only be resolved with time and pure bleach. Rock / paper / scissors?

CO-WORKER: Word.

[Raw Shark]

[Edited for comedy; there was also a brief discussion about how regular bleach isn't going to mess up Luminol and bathroom traffic is on the tapes if there was an actual murder and they Weekend At Bernie'sd the body out somehow]