DUMBASS: I'm gonna fuck you up, man!
ME: You're really not. [paraphrase] ... I just tried to talk to you about-
DUMBASS: I'll swing fists!
ME: Okay, sounds super cool. Y'know what I like? Gettin' punched in the face. Go for it.
DUMBASS: ... I just hit you as hard as I can and you didn't even flinch.
ME: Yeah, bud. You have acted in error. Do you know who I am? I AM THE SHARK!
[okay, I was kind of having a bad day and showing off at this point]
ME: YOU. DO. NOT FUCK. WITH. THE. SHARK. OR. HIS. FAMILY.
DUMBASS: Yes, Sir.
ME: I want to hear you say, "Yes, Sir."
DUMBASS: YES, SIR!
ME: Okay, good enough. As you were.
MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Moderator: Edi
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
She's a 10yr old girl inside a carpeted room. WTF did she need to take her shoes off.
So, they had to call a locksmith, he had to pick the lock, and the lock WILL be replaces ASAP with a non-locking knob.
The girl got her shoes back.
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
Because that enables her to kick ass better. Kicking ass better is its own reward.
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
CoWorker has a daughter, 4yrs old, who goes to one of the schools on my bookmobile route. She knows me by name, and loves the bookmobile.
Daughter was at yesterday's Preschool Read-along at the library.
Child: Mommy? Why has Miss Kaffy not been to school to get my books?
Me:
Mommy explains about snowdays and how the bookmobile can't get to the school on snowdays.
Child: Will Miss Kaffy be there this week?
Me : No... not this week, next week!
Child: OK! (with a grin so big it nearly broke my heart)
As they were leaving, I am standing at the front of the library, and the child sees me. She RUNS from the back of the library, straight for me, arms wide open. "HUGS!!!"
I, of course, lean down, throw my arms around her, lift her up off the ground in a big hug, and get a sloppy cheek kiss as I set her back down. "BYE BYE Miss Kaffy!" as she runs to the door.
I am so in love with this child
Daughter was at yesterday's Preschool Read-along at the library.
Child: Mommy? Why has Miss Kaffy not been to school to get my books?
Me:
Mommy explains about snowdays and how the bookmobile can't get to the school on snowdays.
Child: Will Miss Kaffy be there this week?
Me : No... not this week, next week!
Child: OK! (with a grin so big it nearly broke my heart)
As they were leaving, I am standing at the front of the library, and the child sees me. She RUNS from the back of the library, straight for me, arms wide open. "HUGS!!!"
I, of course, lean down, throw my arms around her, lift her up off the ground in a big hug, and get a sloppy cheek kiss as I set her back down. "BYE BYE Miss Kaffy!" as she runs to the door.
I am so in love with this child
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.
"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
It's easy to fall in love with a child. It's hard-wired into our ape psyche, I guess. Millions of years ago there were lots of talking monkeys who did not love children, and we are not descended from them.
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker
Re: MORE Conversations From the Professional Front Lines
[ROOFTOP FATHERHOOD]:
TNMD: [hits the blunt] Y'know, I think the werewolf thing is stupid.
ME: I think the werewolf thing is stupid.
TNMD: You told me about it.
ME: I know.
TNMD: But the Waning Gibbous makes me want to tell sad stories...
ME: Yeah.
TNMD: Are you okay?
ME: I don't know. Maybe.
TNMD: Ahrouns. Don't. Quit.
ME: I know.
TNMD: You know, that's part of why I [paraphrase] like you and let you into my fucked-up life, right?
ME: I'm aware. How's things with what's-his-name?
TNMD: Jesus Christ, Dad. It's fine. We're dating.
ME: I feel so old right now.
TNMD: Well, you should.
ME: Look, don't worry that I'm going to try to fuck that up for you. I'm just trying to be involved and shit.
TNMD: *sigh* I wonder sometimes why my genetic father didn't want to be the dickhead who fucks with my boyfriends.
ME: I'm going to take that in the best possible way here.
TNMD: [hits the blunt] Y'know, I think the werewolf thing is stupid.
ME: I think the werewolf thing is stupid.
TNMD: You told me about it.
ME: I know.
TNMD: But the Waning Gibbous makes me want to tell sad stories...
ME: Yeah.
TNMD: Are you okay?
ME: I don't know. Maybe.
TNMD: Ahrouns. Don't. Quit.
ME: I know.
TNMD: You know, that's part of why I [paraphrase] like you and let you into my fucked-up life, right?
ME: I'm aware. How's things with what's-his-name?
TNMD: Jesus Christ, Dad. It's fine. We're dating.
ME: I feel so old right now.
TNMD: Well, you should.
ME: Look, don't worry that I'm going to try to fuck that up for you. I'm just trying to be involved and shit.
TNMD: *sigh* I wonder sometimes why my genetic father didn't want to be the dickhead who fucks with my boyfriends.
ME: I'm going to take that in the best possible way here.
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? Y'know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! Y'know, I just do things..." --The Joker