God Wars!!

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-04-11 11:41am

Okay, say R(Q's evil, less annoying, fictional brother) decides to take out YHWH with ancient gods. He puts the Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Norse, and Greek gods in a big arena. It's a fight to the death. Who shall triumph? (Yes, I HAVE been playing too much AoM)

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-04-11 12:01pm

Darth Gojira wrote:Okay, say R(Q's evil, less annoying, fictional brother) decides to take out YHWH with ancient gods. He puts the Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Norse, and Greek gods in a big arena. It's a fight to the death. Who shall triumph? (Yes, I HAVE been playing too much AoM)

Greek gods win. They're the coolest.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-04-11 12:02pm

Darth Wong wrote:
Darth Gojira wrote:Okay, say R(Q's evil, less annoying, fictional brother) decides to take out YHWH with ancient gods. He puts the Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Norse, and Greek gods in a big arena. It's a fight to the death. Who shall triumph? (Yes, I HAVE been playing too much AoM)
Greek gods win. They're the coolest.

Seconded. Then they have a big party, with Bacchus bringing the wine and Aphrodite bringing the women.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-04-11 12:18pm

Hhmmmmm.........That's it! You guys are right! No more Norse or Eggy for me! Its Greek civs all the way! Screw you Norse enthusiasts! You'll never take me a-(gets hacked to pieces by angry guys wearing horned hats[never mind the Vikings wear football helmets instead;)] and wielding axes the size of Sri Lanka)

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-04-11 12:26pm

Oh, I don't know. I bet the Egyptian Gods could take the Norse, and maybe the Greeks after...

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2003-04-11 12:27pm

What about the Valkyries -- weren't they the Viking gods who rode over the battlefield, picking out who would die? That sounds like a nifty job.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-04-11 12:29pm

Norse gods are warriors through and through, and tough as nails. Fucking Odin pulled out his own eye just to get a little wisdom. I'd like to see Zeus pull a move like that if he can pull himself from his bestiality frolicks as he seduces women as some form of animal. Thor's hammer kills giants with a single blow, wimpy Hermes gets his front teeth knocked out by Mjolinir. C'mon, this is a slaughter. The Norse gods spent their entire lives preparing for a final battle that they knew they would lose.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-04-11 12:34pm

3rd Impact wrote:Oh, I don't know. I bet the Egyptian Gods could take the Norse, and maybe the Greeks after...

Poseidon will shove his trident so far up Amun-Ra's ass the sun will mice acroos form now on. I STILL think Zeus could nuke Osiris and fuck Isis to celebrate. He'll probably get a scorpion stinging his dick but Zeus has survived sex as a SWAN.
All in MHO.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-04-11 12:41pm

Stravo wrote:Norse gods are warriors through and through, and tough as nails. Fucking Odin pulled out his own eye just to get a little wisdom. I'd like to see Zeus pull a move like that if he can pull himself from his bestiality frolicks as he seduces women as some form of animal. Thor's hammer kills giants with a single blow, wimpy Hermes gets his front teeth knocked out by Mjolinir. C'mon, this is a slaughter. The Norse gods spent their entire lives preparing for a final battle that they knew they would lose.

True, Ragnarok is some bad-ass shit.

On the other hand, the Greek gods may have more raw power; it's been a while since I studied mythology but didn't Ragnarok get started by a piece of mistletoe or something?

In any case, you have to like gods whose primary goal in life seems to be to fly down to Earth and fuck the hottest babes they can find.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-04-11 12:44pm

In any case, you have to like gods whose primary goal in life seems to be to fly down to Earth and fuck the hottest babes they can find.

Not when much of that fucking includes flat-out rape.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-04-11 12:59pm

Stravo wrote:Norse gods are warriors through and through, and tough as nails. Fucking Odin pulled out his own eye just to get a little wisdom. I'd like to see Zeus pull a move like that if he can pull himself from his bestiality frolicks as he seduces women as some form of animal. Thor's hammer kills giants with a single blow, wimpy Hermes gets his front teeth knocked out by Mjolinir. C'mon, this is a slaughter. The Norse gods spent their entire lives preparing for a final battle that they knew they would lose.

Ah but they DID lose, didn't they? Granted, after a kickass fight and they went out in a blast of MENTOSS Level-Coolness, but still.......

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-04-11 01:09pm

"My god is better than yours Conan, for my god is the sky and he is always above yours." Or something like that.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-04-11 01:15pm

From my 3 years doing Classics, I'd take the Greeks anyday (and to a lesser extent their Roman copies, the Norse ones rock too as does Anubis, my fave Egyptian one).

That poster we had of Poseiden and Cronos fighting in Earth orbit beats any DBZ episode.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-04-11 02:01pm

Darth Wong wrote:True, Ragnarok is some bad-ass shit.

On the other hand, the Greek gods may have more raw power; it's been a while since I studied mythology but didn't Ragnarok get started by a piece of mistletoe or something?

No, that's a different lagend. A god named Baldar was killed by an arrow made from mistletoe. Think of him as the Norse version of Achilles.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-04-11 02:15pm

Greeks win, they're like a superhero team: Lightning bolt dude, Invisible man, Aquaguy, Medusa-head wielding warrior babe... they've got the whole package. Although Ra, being the sun and all, might be a tough cookie.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-04-11 02:23pm

Zoink wrote:Greeks win, they're like a superhero team: Lightning bolt dude, Invisible man, Aquaguy, Medusa-head wielding warrior babe... they've got the whole package. Although Ra, being the sun and all, might be a tough cookie.

Didn't Marvel or DC or 2000AD and Manga ever admit that their creations were probably derived from mythos of countries old?

Cpt_Frank · Post by **Cpt_Frank** » 2003-04-11 02:27pm

Greek vs Norse Gods will be tough. (They're variations of each other after all.)

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-04-11 02:31pm

The Greek Gods sealed away the beings that made reality, the Titans. Suck on that, Norse bitches.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-04-11 02:33pm

You just can't beat the Apple of Discord. Subvert your forces and turn them against each other. Gotta love that.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-04-11 03:06pm

Don't the Norse gods have human frailty (ie. Thor could be killed by a regular guy with a sword), except Baldur of course.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-04-11 04:40pm

What about the Vedic gods of Hinduism?? They are, after all, the ORIGINAL Indo-European pantheon.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-04-11 05:20pm

Zoink wrote:Don't the Norse gods have human frailty (ie. Thor could be killed by a regular guy with a sword), except Baldur of course.

I believe that it had to do with them needing to eat apples of something or other that gave them long life. Without it they would grow old. Or something.

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2003-04-11 07:32pm

SirNitram wrote:The Greek Gods sealed away the beings that made reality, the Titans. Suck on that, Norse bitches.

Odin and his brothers Ve and Vili created the world from the body of the frost giant, Ymir.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-04-11 08:10pm

Just a nitpick, but the Egyptians may not have been as polytheistic as most Egyptologists believe. I just read Christine El Mahdy's analysis of Egypt in the time of Akhenaten, Nefertiti, Smenkhare, and Tutankhaten/Tutankhamen, and she presents an interesting argument in favor of Egyptian montheism similar to Catholicism of today. It definitely needs more evidence in order to eliminate the polytheist theory, but it is a credible theory in my opinion.

And I vote for the Zoroastrians. Ahura Mazda takes on all comers, particularly since none of them know who the crap he is

.

If you're going to make me stick to the original selection, Norse. Just because my philosophy professor jokingly refers to me as Thor (since the person who I debate the most is a practical joker who gets called Loki).

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-04-11 08:55pm

Stravo wrote:Norse gods are warriors through and through, and tough as nails. Fucking Odin pulled out his own eye just to get a little wisdom. I'd like to see Zeus pull a move like that if he can pull himself from his bestiality frolicks as he seduces women as some form of animal. Thor's hammer kills giants with a single blow, wimpy Hermes gets his front teeth knocked out by Mjolinir. C'mon, this is a slaughter. The Norse gods spent their entire lives preparing for a final battle that they knew they would lose.

Not to mention that Zeus is really only equivalent to Thor. Odin would just sit on his Cassandra-complexed ass watching his Valkyries seize Greek gods (by declaring them dead, thus forcibly recruiting them into the ranks of the Einherjar, Odin's army.)

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