The reason I will never have children

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-04-14 12:03am

Sure I COULD adopt...But considering my future occuption(Herpetologist)....

I will be a herpetologist...I will be keeping carnivorous reptiles and venomous snakes...IN MY HOUSE! Not child friendly

"Oh Billy, BILLY! Where is that boy?...oh shit I forgot to lock Sobek's(my crocodile) enclosure"

*neighbors come over*" Have you seen timmy lately?"

"Billy, let go of the cobras tail

"Billy, back away from the anaconda"

"BILLY DONT EAT THE NEWTS!! Spit them out spt them out SPIT THEM OUT!" *pics up the phone, dials* "Hello poison control, my son just ate ANOTHER one of my highly toxic newts"

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-04-14 12:08am

Uhhh... yes?

David · Post by **David** » 2003-04-14 12:09am

I don't like them until they can talk intelligably.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-14 12:09am

A better idea (if you have kids) is not to raise or breed stupid kids.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-04-14 12:09am

Nor will I be living in a residential neighborhood. I do not want to be liable if the next door neighbors two year old is eaten by my crocodiles

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-04-14 12:11am

Stormbringer wrote:A better idea (if you have kids) is not to raise or breed stupid kids.

The problem with that is they have to SURVIVE long enough to not be stupid

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-04-14 12:12am

Um... okay?

I think you have a wrong number.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-04-14 12:13am

Huh, that's funny. My reason for not wanting to have kids has nothing to do with snakes.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-04-14 12:14am

Kids.

*shudder*

Not happening here.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-04-14 12:16am

I used to think I would never like kids, but my niece has changed my mind.
Its amazing to watch her grow and change. Even one week makes a difference at this age. ( under a year old )

But, yes, I would not put children and large reptiles in the same house.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-04-14 12:18am

Looks like I'm also one of the few looking forward to eventually having children...

If you do it right, they don't die, you know.

BlkbrryTheGreat · Post by **BlkbrryTheGreat** » 2003-04-14 12:20am

Here's an idea...... how about not being a dumb fuck?

Keep in reptiles enclosed in "shatter-proof" glass, with a pad-lock. Problems won't arise unless your careless. (Or retarded...)

Post by **AdmiralKanos** » 2003-04-14 12:21am

Children are a treasure. If you don't do it, you're missing out.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-04-14 12:26am

BlkbrryTheGreat wrote:Here's an idea...... how about not being a dumb fuck?

Keep in reptiles enclosed in "shatter-proof" glass, with a pad-lock. Problems won't arise unless your careless. (Or retarded...)

It is called a joke. I will not be having kids anyway. This is just an OT bit of amusement. Kind of like the death newt thread. No need to over-react and insult me.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2003-04-14 12:28am

I'm not overeacting you Fucking Stupid Cumstain!

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-04-14 12:30am

AdmiralKanos wrote:Children are a treasure. If you don't do it, you're missing out.

But for 9 months out of every year, I have 300+ kids. Does that count for anything?

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-04-14 12:33am

consequences wrote:I'm not overeacting you Fucking Stupid Cumstain!

*thwaks consequences*

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-04-14 12:33am

Children are like little people. They are really giggly too.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-04-14 12:33am

My reasoning is, if I'm lucky enough to find someone willing to spend the rest of her life with me, I'm sure as hell not going to spend two of those decades raising kids who'll eat up half hundreds of thousands of bucks each, and in the end simply tell us what losers we were and how we messed up their upbringing. Call me selfish, I guess.

BrYaN19kc · Post by **BrYaN19kc** » 2003-04-14 12:36am

Hmmm, the reason I will never have children?

Wrong plumbing!

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2003-04-14 12:43am

BrYaN19kc wrote:Hmmm, the reason I will never have children?

Wrong plumbing!

Sounds like another Eight-Fingered Smartass line, eh Spanky?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-04-14 12:43am

Yes, I agree, Utsanomiko.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-04-14 12:44am

Zaia wrote:
AdmiralKanos wrote:Children are a treasure. If you don't do it, you're missing out.
But for 9 months out of every year, I have 300+ kids. Does that count for anything?

Sort of, but how many of them come up to you in the morning, hug you, and say "I love you, Mommy?"

PS. Since they're teenagers, I suppose that would be kind of creepy.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-04-14 12:53am

Darth Wong wrote:Sort of, but how many of them come up to you in the morning, hug you, and say "I love you, Mommy?"

PS. Since they're teenagers, I suppose that would be kind of creepy.

In all honesty, I may one day become a parent. I will just never have my own children due to me not wanting to pass on certain genes.

And yes, that would be quite creepy.

Johonebesus · Post by **Johonebesus** » 2003-04-14 01:34am

Darth Wong wrote: Sort of, but how many of them come up to you in the morning, hug you, and say "I love you, Mommy?".

But the next morning he will crawl onto your bed and say, "My tummy hurts," and then vomit on you.