There are some countries or rather, cultures, children do not move out until they are married.jegs2 wrote: A better question is why is a 26-year-old man is living with his mom? Lesson available: "Don't be a bum in your mom's house after you turn 18 -- un-ass the AO and make a life for yourself."
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Post #666: 5-24-03, 8:26 am (Hey, why not?)
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Interesting... I was out of the house at 18 -- permanently. I suppose if I were a father of a shiftless 26-year-old who hadn't found a wife and just vegetated around my house, I might become rather irritated. Of course, rather than stabbing him to death, I'd probably just kick him out of the house to go find a job and a place to live. IMO, 26 years of age is far too old to be hanging onto momma's apron strings, unless some form of mental disorder is the cause...Ravencrow wrote:There are some countries or rather, cultures, children do not move out until they are married.
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I 'ran away' from home at 19, because my dad's girlfriend almost tried to kill me. I decided I'd had enough, and that I'll take my chances on the streets of New Orleans. I got fucking lucky... I was in a stable situation with my boyfriend two months later, and I've been with him ever since!jegs2 wrote:Interesting... I was out of the house at 18 -- permanently. I suppose if I were a father of a shiftless 26-year-old who hadn't found a wife and just vegetated around my house, I might become rather irritated. Of course, rather than stabbing him to death, I'd probably just kick him out of the house to go find a job and a place to live. IMO, 26 years of age is far too old to be hanging onto momma's apron strings, unless some form of mental disorder is the cause...Ravencrow wrote:There are some countries or rather, cultures, children do not move out until they are married.
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How the hell is that a better question? Thats more like a sickening thing to ask.jegs2 wrote:A better question is why is a 26-year-old man is living with his mom? Lesson available: "Don't be a bum in your mom's house after you turn 18 -- un-ass the AO and make a life for yourself."
And piss off with the "18 and you're out" bullshit, that might be the american tradition with the massive ubanization and plenty of housing, but maybe you should think first and note that in different cultures thats not true and also that in different enviroments, moving out is not an easy thing to do, like say people living in the country.
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I'm 20 and it is impossible for me to move out because house prices are obscene around here. I'd have to live off of about £50 a month (~$75) after paying rent for a pokey little studio flat (2 rooms, bathroom and then everything else). A studio flat costs 4.5 times the average salary round here and there's no way I could get one. 10 years ago I'd have had a 3 bedroom house by now.jegs2 wrote:Interesting... I was out of the house at 18 -- permanently. I suppose if I were a father of a shiftless 26-year-old who hadn't found a wife and just vegetated around my house, I might become rather irritated. Of course, rather than stabbing him to death, I'd probably just kick him out of the house to go find a job and a place to live. IMO, 26 years of age is far too old to be hanging onto momma's apron strings, unless some form of mental disorder is the cause...Ravencrow wrote:There are some countries or rather, cultures, children do not move out until they are married.
Join a branch of your military. They'll house and feed you free-of charge, and you'll get a paycheck to boot. If you can't join the military for some reason, take a risk -- move out and get a job. Sorry, but I can see little reason for excuses, save laziness...Slartibartfast wrote:I'm 26 years old and I quite simply CAN NOT move out. The cheapest rent for the ugliest apartment is like 3 times my income, which is high by national standards. So stop it with the "wtf is he doing at her mama's house at that age???"
Edit: The US Army hires from other countries, so you can enlist if you so desire, which will give you sufficient funds with which to live
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I'm 20 and not yet finished with school. How can I possibly leave my parent's house? Sometimes it's got nothing to do with lazyness)jegs2 wrote:Join a branch of your military. They'll house and feed you free-of charge, and you'll get a paycheck to boot. If you can't join the military for some reason, take a risk -- move out and get a job. Sorry, but I can see little reason for excuses, save laziness...Slartibartfast wrote:I'm 26 years old and I quite simply CAN NOT move out. The cheapest rent for the ugliest apartment is like 3 times my income, which is high by national standards. So stop it with the "wtf is he doing at her mama's house at that age???"
Edit: The US Army hires from other countries, so you can enlist if you so desire, which will give you sufficient funds with which to live
(when I go to university I'll be living there though.)
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Man, what a huge amount of bullshit. Are you really this ignorant? I do have a job, mind you So we should be a country with a military composed of 99% of the population, that would be so cool for a military fanboy like you. Kindly get a clue before spouting such nonsense.jegs2 wrote:Join a branch of your military. They'll house and feed you free-of charge, and you'll get a paycheck to boot. If you can't join the military for some reason, take a risk -- move out and get a job. Sorry, but I can see little reason for excuses, save laziness...Slartibartfast wrote:I'm 26 years old and I quite simply CAN NOT move out. The cheapest rent for the ugliest apartment is like 3 times my income, which is high by national standards. So stop it with the "wtf is he doing at her mama's house at that age???"
Edit: The US Army hires from other countries, so you can enlist if you so desire, which will give you sufficient funds with which to live[/quote]
Of course, since I love the US so much. Maybe I'll get a posthumous green card, like all those who fought in Iraq to get it.
First, I am not a "military fanboy," whatever you happen to beilieve that is. I am a commissioned officer in the US Army with over 14 years of service. Secondly, if you have a job, it obviously isn't meeting the intent of allowing you to sustain yourself outside of your mother's household, thus my recommendation of the military option.Slartibartfast wrote:Man, what a huge amount of bullshit. Are you really this ignorant? I do have a job, mind you So we should be a country with a military composed of 99% of the population, that would be so cool for a military fanboy like you. Kindly get a clue before spouting such nonsense.
Then join another branch of service -- a less dangerous branch, such as the US Navy, US Coast Guard, or US Air Force. I mentioned the Army only because I'm in the Army. If you are content with remaining dependent on your mom, then so be it.Of course, since I love the US so much. Maybe I'll get a posthumous green card, like all those who fought in Iraq to get it.
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You'd still qualify for the "military fanboy" at least as I see it, with your suggestion that everyone who doesn't make enough money (read: everyone who doesn't own a fucking bank) should join the military. Maybe in your twisted version of paradise everyone wears an uniform.jegs2 wrote:First, I am not a "military fanboy," whatever you happen to beilieve that is. I am a commissioned officer in the US Army with over 14 years of service. Secondly, if you have a job, it obviously isn't meeting the intent of allowing you to sustain yourself outside of your mother's household, thus my recommendation of the military option.Slartibartfast wrote:Man, what a huge amount of bullshit. Are you really this ignorant? I do have a job, mind you So we should be a country with a military composed of 99% of the population, that would be so cool for a military fanboy like you. Kindly get a clue before spouting such nonsense.
Then join another branch of service -- a less dangerous branch, such as the US Navy, US Coast Guard, or US Air Force. I mentioned the Army only because I'm in the Army. If you are content with remaining dependent on your mom, then so be it.[/quote]Of course, since I love the US so much. Maybe I'll get a posthumous green card, like all those who fought in Iraq to get it.
Dependent on my mom? WTF is that supposed to mean, that she works so I can eat without tiring my lazy ass? Because that's what you seem to imply. Sure, I can live with my mother, except that doing so means I'm lazy. Hm, you just called most of the people in the world that don't share your reduced view lazy, because not everyone owns a house or joins the US military... maybe that's because I'm more likely to shoot AT a US soldier than shoot FOR the US military.
Honestly I think all that time in the armed forces has deprived you from knowing the real world outside the barracks.
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Nice strawman, now read what I told you before -- You need to take a risk and move away from mom if you can't (or won't) join a branch of the military. Where did I say everyone should join the military? If a soldier is unfit for service, he is quickly discharged from the military, so I'd sooner see only qualified and motivated individuals join the military.Slartibartfast wrote:You'd still qualify for the "military fanboy" at least as I see it, with your suggestion that everyone who doesn't make enough money (read: everyone who doesn't own a fucking bank) should join the military. Maybe in your twisted version of paradise everyone wears an uniform.
It means exactly what I said -- you're dependent on your mom. You do have the ability to move out of her home, but you have demonstrated an unwillingness to do so. Inability to do a thing and unwillingness to do a thing are not the same. As for you shooting at US soldiers, you're welcome to try, but you likely won't live to tell about it.Dependent on my mom? WTF is that supposed to mean, that she works so I can eat without tiring my lazy ass? Because that's what you seem to imply. Sure, I can live with my mother, except that doing so means I'm lazy. Hm, you just called most of the people in the world that don't share your reduced view lazy, because not everyone owns a house or joins the US military... maybe that's because I'm more likely to shoot AT a US soldier than shoot FOR the US military.
You're welcome to that point of view. I recommend that you envision life outside your mom's house, 26-year-old, and take some risks. You seem to have a lot of time to type comments on a forum. I'd recommend you use that time earning an income with which you can sustain yourself.Honestly I think all that time in the armed forces has deprived you from knowing the real world outside the barracks.
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It's a logical conclusion. You say "people MUST move out or they're LAZY" (apparently that's some kind of tautology in your mind), "if you can't move out because you can't earn enough money, join the military". Facts are "the MAJORITY of people can't move out, because they can't earn enough money" (surprise surprise). Therefore "The MAJORITY of people should join the military, or they're LAZY". Simple, see? No strawman in this hand, no strawman in the other, no strawman in the hat.jegs2 wrote:Nice strawman, now read what I told you before -- You need to take a risk and move away from mom if you can't (or won't) join a branch of the military. Where did I say everyone should join the military? If a soldier is unfit for service, he is quickly discharged from the military, so I'd sooner see only qualified and motivated individuals join the military.Slartibartfast wrote:You'd still qualify for the "military fanboy" at least as I see it, with your suggestion that everyone who doesn't make enough money (read: everyone who doesn't own a fucking bank) should join the military. Maybe in your twisted version of paradise everyone wears an uniform.
It means exactly what I said -- you're dependent on your mom. You do have the ability to move out of her home, but you have demonstrated an unwillingness to do so. Inability to do a thing and unwillingness to do a thing are not the same.[/quote]Dependent on my mom? WTF is that supposed to mean, that she works so I can eat without tiring my lazy ass? Because that's what you seem to imply. Sure, I can live with my mother, except that doing so means I'm lazy. Hm, you just called most of the people in the world that don't share your reduced view lazy, because not everyone owns a house or joins the US military... maybe that's because I'm more likely to shoot AT a US soldier than shoot FOR the US military.
Unwillingness = laziness, right? Hey, why don't you give up your military life and own a pet store. Or are you LAZY??? WTF kind of drugs are they giving you in the army. Get this: here having your own house is considered a LUXURY. But you don't know anything about that, because in the US they teach you that luxuries are first-necessity items.
It'll be fun, nonetheless. Specially if they call me lazy for not going completely out of my way to move out of "my mom's house", since the US thinks that people around the world are lazy for not living a life of comfort and independence. "Living with my mom", how utterly despicable. Maybe I deserve to be stabbed then, right? WTF?As for you shooting at US soldiers, you're welcome to try, but you likely won't live to tell about it.
You're welcome to that point of view. I recommend that you envision life outside your mom's house, 26-year-old, and take some risks. You seem to have a lot of time to type comments on a forum. I'd recommend you use that time earning an income with which you can sustain yourself.[/quote]Honestly I think all that time in the armed forces has deprived you from knowing the real world outside the barracks.
Right, so I log online once during lunch break and a couple of times before going to sleep, so now all that magic time is going to make me RICH? How wonderful! I beg you to share with me that incredible formula for success.
It can also mean an unwillingness to commit to a more risky course of action for whichever reason.Slartibartfast wrote:It's a logical conclusion. You say "people MUST move out or they're LAZY"(apparently that's some kind of tautology in your mind), "if you can't move out because you can't earn enough money, join the military".
Please post the statistics with which you intend to validate that assertion. Keep in mind that nowhere did I say you have to buy a house. Rentals come at reasonable prices if you're willing to lower your standard of living. I've been there, in low-quality and dangerous apartments, and I survived.Facts are "the MAJORITY of people can't move out, because they can't earn enough money" (surprise surprise).
You drew a wrong conclusion from what you think I implied. Read my posts again.Therefore "The MAJORITY of people should join the military, or they're LAZY". Simple, see? No strawman in this hand, no strawman in the other, no strawman in the hat.
No, it doesn't, although laziness can certainly make one unwilling to hazard a more risky COA. In your case, I cannot say. Edit: I don't need to change my carreer, for I don't live with my mother and can meet all of my expenses with my current income. You, however, cannot.Unwillingness = laziness, right? Hey, why don't you give up your military life and own a pet store. Or are you LAZY???
Ah, another invalid assumption on your part -- you seem to be good at those. In fact, mission always comes first before any luxuries, but this isn't the time to try to teach you US warfighting doctrine, task organization, or personnel system and structure.But you don't know anything about that, because in the US they teach you that luxuries are first-necessity items.
I said nothing of comfort although independence is highly valued in the US (and much of the Western world). However, if you have no issue with continuing to live with your mom at the ripe age of twenty-six, then feel free to hazard no change in your situation.It'll be fun, nonetheless. Specially if they call me lazy for not going completely out of my way to move out of "my mom's house", since the US thinks that people around the world are lazy for not living a life of comfort and independence. "Living with my mom", how utterly despicable.
From where did you pull that?Maybe I deserve to be stabbed then, right? WTF?
I implied that you seem to have a lot of time in which to post messages on a forum and that you might be better served working during some of that time in order to garner more in the way of income. If your current job is insufficient to meet your economic needs, I've already recommended alternatives, all of which you rejected out of hand.Right, so I log online once during lunch break and a couple of times before going to sleep, so now all that magic time is going to make me RICH? How wonderful! I beg you to share with me that incredible formula for success.
Upon review of other posts, I feel the need to post the following questions IOT clarify your situation:
1. Does your society obligate you to remain with your family until you are a certain age or are married?
2. Is even the lowest-rent housing (with basic utilities) out of reach of your ability to pay for it, even if you obtain the highest paid job for which you are qualified?
3. If the above is true, is there anything preventing you from sharing rental costs with a roommate (something done quite often here in CONUS and in many "Western" nations)?
Last edited by jegs2 on 2003-04-14 07:03pm, edited 6 times in total.
In the land-scarce country where I come from, kids don't move out till they get married. It's part of our culture also. In fact, ideally sons are suppose to stay under the family roof, and inherit the house; girls marry in. But usually the new couple gets a new place. Other reason is that houses or apartments cost something like a couple of hundred thousand dollars. I'm 28 and even I wish I could have my own apartment (I'm not a guy btw). But really I can't even afford to buy it from someone else. And I'm not allowed to buy a new flat until I'm 35 if I'm single. That's just the way it is around here.
If the case had happened where I live, it wouldn't be a case of a 'lazy bum' living with his mum. Nobody around here even think of 26 year old living with his parent is abnormal. What would be strange around here is if an 18 year old moves out and lives on his own. People would assume that someone like that is having problems with his parents, something wrong with such a person.
I understand that in America, it is more respectable to move out and get your own place when you come of age. That's your culture. That's why you assume that there is something wrong with a person who continues living with his parents even when he's become an adult. But the rest of the world is not and cannot be like America.
If the case had happened where I live, it wouldn't be a case of a 'lazy bum' living with his mum. Nobody around here even think of 26 year old living with his parent is abnormal. What would be strange around here is if an 18 year old moves out and lives on his own. People would assume that someone like that is having problems with his parents, something wrong with such a person.
I understand that in America, it is more respectable to move out and get your own place when you come of age. That's your culture. That's why you assume that there is something wrong with a person who continues living with his parents even when he's become an adult. But the rest of the world is not and cannot be like America.
As the years pass, it becomes more and more difficult for a young adult to move away from his parents. Apt costs, deregulated utilities ripping you off, etc.His Divine Shadow wrote:How the hell is that a better question? Thats more like a sickening thing to ask.jegs2 wrote:A better question is why is a 26-year-old man is living with his mom? Lesson available: "Don't be a bum in your mom's house after you turn 18 -- un-ass the AO and make a life for yourself."
And piss off with the "18 and you're out" bullshit, that might be the american tradition with the massive ubanization and plenty of housing, but maybe you should think first and note that in different cultures thats not true and also that in different enviroments, moving out is not an easy thing to do, like say people living in the country.
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If social mores prevent you from moving out, or if you are expected to remain with your parents until a certain age (or marital state) by your society, then I've no issue with it. You are correct in your assumption that no such societal rules exist here in CONUS. I'll be interested to find out if Slartibartfast is under the same societal obligations in which you find yourself. If that is the case, then I will concede his point.Ravencrow wrote:In the land-scarce country where I come from, kids don't move out till they get married. It's part of our culture also. In fact, ideally sons are suppose to stay under the family roof, and inherit the house; girls marry in. But usually the new couple gets a new place. Other reason is that houses or apartments cost something like a couple of hundred thousand dollars. I'm 28 and even I wish I could have my own apartment (I'm not a guy btw). But really I can't even afford to buy it from someone else. And I'm not allowed to buy a new flat until I'm 35 if I'm single. That's just the way it is around here.
If the case had happened where I live, it wouldn't be a case of a 'lazy bum' living with his mum. Nobody around here even think of 26 year old living with his parent is abnormal. What would be strange around here is if an 18 year old moves out and lives on his own. People would assume that someone like that is having problems with his parents, something wrong with such a person.
I understand that in America, it is more respectable to move out and get your own place when you come of age. That's your culture. That's why you assume that there is something wrong with a person who continues living with his parents even when he's become an adult. But the rest of the world is not and cannot be like America.
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I might as well chime in on this unexpected tangent, with a few points:
1) It is true that in many cultures, multi-generational households are the norm.
2) Multi-generational households are objectively superior in some cases; the travails of parents looking for babysitters are good example of the problem incurred by the American revulsion for multi-generational households; in other societies, the child would be raised and actively cared for by an extended family.
3) However, this particular multi-generational household was definitely a case of a loser, because his parents were so controlling that they would have arguments over the activities he chose to undertake in his own quarters. No one would remain in such conditions if he felt he had a choice.
1) It is true that in many cultures, multi-generational households are the norm.
2) Multi-generational households are objectively superior in some cases; the travails of parents looking for babysitters are good example of the problem incurred by the American revulsion for multi-generational households; in other societies, the child would be raised and actively cared for by an extended family.
3) However, this particular multi-generational household was definitely a case of a loser, because his parents were so controlling that they would have arguments over the activities he chose to undertake in his own quarters. No one would remain in such conditions if he felt he had a choice.
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