Woman kills son who won't stop playing computer game

[Rathark]

A better question is why is a 26-year-old man is living with his mom? Lesson available: "Don't be a bum in your mom's house after you turn 18 -- un-ass the AO and make a life for yourself."

There are some obvious reasons for this, and some not-so-obvious reasons.

1: Unemployment.

2: Housing / apartment prices.

3: Both generations work in the same business / industry / for the same employer.

4: Mum's home is close to the workplace / university / whatever.

5: Temporary situation - many adults go back to living with their parents for up to a year or so after falling on hard times (see 1 and 2).

6: Weird reasons involving real estate or financial planning (also temporary).

These are not all-round excuses - it depends upon the individual's situation. It may also vary from one nation to the other, even among the most developed nations.

[Robert Treder]

This is more proof to me that bed-making is retarded. I've never "made my bed" in my life, and I don't plan to. It simply serves no purpose, and now that I see that the act is so addictive that a bed-maker will resort to murdering non-bed-makers, my resolve is strengthened.

[Rathark]

Something else occured to me: are there some cultures where there is a greater stigma attached to living alone than living with one's parents? This may be understandable in some non-Western cultures; but I have heard this very sentiment from some Australians and Americans. Surely this must be rare?

[Coaan]

Jegs2 can have a coke and stfu.

I don't know what lala land he lives in but in the REAL world, things cost more money than most ever earn. I've lived with parents, I've lived alone and then lived with parents again simply because the cost of living on your own is too high unless you happen to be supported by family when they drop in.

It's bullshit in the first degree that because they live with parents, they must be lazy...get this...work that pays higher than the minimum wage is next to impossible to find.

Not everyone WANTS the military either.

[jegs2]

Jegs2 can have a coke and stfu.

I don't know what lala land he lives in but in the REAL world, things cost more money than most ever earn. I've lived with parents, I've lived alone and then lived with parents again simply because the cost of living on your own is too high unless you happen to be supported by family when they drop in.

It's bullshit in the first degree that because they live with parents, they must be lazy...get this...work that pays higher than the minimum wage is next to impossible to find.

Not everyone WANTS the military either.

As you are in Scotland, you may have a point, being ecomically restricted and possibly falling under social mores that do not frown on such activities. Here in the States, most who find themselves in their parents' home after a certain age are bums, nothing more. But then in the US, we place a much higher value on individualism and the ability to make one's own way. That is apparently not the case where you live.

[Darth Wong]

As you are in Scotland, you may have a point, being ecomically restricted and possibly falling under social mores that do not frown on such activities. Here in the States, most who find themselves in their parents' home after a certain age are bums, nothing more. But then in the US, we place a much higher value on individualism and the ability to make one's own way. That is apparently not the case where you live.

Some people feel that the death of the close-in extended family is a serious social problem in America. Rather than being raised by parents and grandparents, kids are being raised by neither, and shuffled off to daycare. But at least we're "independent" ...

[jegs2]

Some people feel that the death of the close-in extended family is a serious social problem in America. Rather than being raised by parents and grandparents, kids are being raised by neither, and shuffled off to daycare. But at least we're "independent" ...

While America was once a nation that reflected that particular type of family, it has changed to reflect "rugged individualism," and an argument can be effectively made that it has significantly damaged the fabric of our society.

If, in the case of an adult who remains at home, that adult is taking care of older parents and the parents are in turn endowing wisdom to the adult, it can be a mutually-beneficial relationship. However, as the subject of this thread illustrated, other relationships are simply parasitical in nature, with an adult who should have learned to make his way in life continuing to sponge off of mom and dad (which is far too often the case here in CONUS). At best, it is generally a case of the son or daughter refusing to lower their standard of living by moving out of their parents house and attempting to make a life for themselves, even if it does start off in a much more meager manner than that to which they've become accustomed.

[Soulman]

While America was once a nation that reflected that particular type of family, it has changed to reflect "rugged individualism," and an argument can be effectively made that it has significantly damaged the fabric of our society.

If, in the case of an adult who remains at home, that adult is taking care of older parents and the parents are in turn endowing wisdom to the adult, it can be a mutually-beneficial relationship. However, as the subject of this thread illustrated, other relationships are simply parasitical in nature, with an adult who should have learned to make his way in life continuing to sponge off of mom and dad (which is far too often the case here in CONUS). At best, it is generally a case of the son or daughter refusing to lower their standard of living by moving out of their parents house and attempting to make a life for themselves, even if it does start off in a much more meager manner than that to which they've become accustomed.

I could move out if I accepted a lower standard of living which would quickly turn into a standard of death as I sit in a flat with no electricity (can't pay the bills), water (again can't pay for it, may be able collect some in a bucket outside) whilst nibbling on insufficient economy bread and maybe even some cold beans (can't afford gas or again electricity).

The average age of leaving home in Britain has almost reached 30, purely because of an insane lack of housing. there are plans to build 300,000 houses in the next 10 years, 1/3 of what's needed. I don't sponge off of my parents, I pay enough board to cover my food, electricity, have my own phone line as well as doing numerous jobs around the house. Hell it's the money I pay in rent that allows my parents to buy more luxeries and the families DVD player is mine!

[LadyTevar]

The state I live in is econimically depressed, and has been for over a hundred years. Appalachia is a Third World County, ladies and gents, despite being in the middle of CONUS.

The majority of jobs here are minimum wage ($5.15/hr) and part time (30 hrs or less a week). However, utilities are high, and finding an apartment for under $350 is nearly impossible, especially in rural areas where there are no apartment buildings. Some places have trailers for rent, but those can run $400-$600.. which is not something that can be covered by part-time minimum wage jobs, even with roomies.

SirNit and I are lucky... I work for the State, so I make more than minimum, and we have an apartment with utilities included for $425/month. However, SirNit has been job-searching since September with no luck. If not for his parents, we'd be SoL.

[Soulman]

The state I live in is econimically depressed, and has been for over a hundred years. Appalachia is a Third World County, ladies and gents, despite being in the middle of CONUS.

The majority of jobs here are minimum wage ($5.15/hr) and part time (30 hrs or less a week). However, utilities are high, and finding an apartment for under $350 is nearly impossible, especially in rural areas where there are no apartment buildings. Some places have trailers for rent, but those can run $400-$600.. which is not something that can be covered by part-time minimum wage jobs, even with roomies.

SirNit and I are lucky... I work for the State, so I make more than minimum, and we have an apartment with utilities included for $425/month. However, SirNit has been job-searching since September with no luck. If not for his parents, we'd be SoL.

Damn, that's cheap compare to around here! About $1,100 minimum for a month for a studio flat. Wages are better here though....

[LadyTevar]

Damn, that's cheap compare to around here! About $1,100 minimum for a month for a studio flat. Wages are better here though....

On my salary, which is very good for this state, I couldn't afford even one month. Taxes take me down to just barely $1000/month.

[Soulman]

On my salary, which is very good for this state, I couldn't afford even one month. Taxes take me down to just barely $1000/month.

Nearly $1,300 for me, I could just afford a flat but the utilities, assorted home related taxes and transport costs would eat up the rest of my wages leaving mo money for such things as food.

[jegs2]

On my salary, which is very good for this state, I couldn't afford even one month. Taxes take me down to just barely $1000/month.

Does your job with the state make you eligible for scholarships or grants, which which you could use for either night classes or on-line college courses?

[Soulman]

On my salary, which is very good for this state, I couldn't afford even one month. Taxes take me down to just barely $1000/month.

Does your job with the state make you eligible for scholarships or grants, which which you could use for either night classes or on-line college courses?

I'm lucky with my employer in that regard, I go to college a day a week and they may sponser me to do a degree. I would've thought a government job would be good when it comes to doing courses...

[Hamel]

At best, it is generally a case of the son or daughter refusing to lower their standard of living by moving out of their parents house and attempting to make a life for themselves, even if it does start off in a much more meager manner than that to which they've become accustomed.

Meager? They way things are now and depending on where you live, you may not even meet the lowest possible standard of living. You don't need to abuse your credit card to find yourself in a financial bind; you could be financially responsible and still not be able to afford the basics.

[jegs2]

Meager? They way things are now and depending on where you live, you may not even meet the lowest possible standard of living. You don't need to abuse your credit card to find yourself in a financial bind; you could be financially responsible and still not be able to afford the basics.

Granted: Where one lives holds much bearing on the argument. In the US, with the exception of a few places, employment (even if low-paying) is generally available, and it is customary for people to seek roommates, so they can pool resources in order to be able to afford an apartment, along with basic necessities. Therefore, I can accept little in the way of excuse for folks within CONUS to remain with their parents as adults, unless their social/societal rules require such an arrangement, said adult is physically or mentally incapable of self-sustainment, or all efforts for self-sustainment have been thwarted (i.e. an unjust lawsuit or divorce that sucks away all income). Of course, if you live OCONUS, then a whole different set of rules apply.

[LadyTevar]

On my salary, which is very good for this state, I couldn't afford even one month. Taxes take me down to just barely $1000/month.

Does your job with the state make you eligible for scholarships or grants, which which you could use for either night classes or on-line college courses?

Yes, but then that would cut down on my hours at work and leave me unable to pay rent, buy food, etc.

Granted: Where one lives holds much bearing on the argument. In the US, with the exception of a few places, employment (even if low-paying) is generally available, and it is customary for people to seek roommates, so they can pool resources in order to be able to afford an apartment, along with basic necessities. Therefore, I can accept little in the way of excuse for folks within CONUS to remain with their parents as adults

(snip)

Case in point: My brother. Unable to find a roommate, he was forced to remain with my mother, since his Minimum Wage job and lack of available cheap rental property did not allow him to leave. He was 25 and getting married, and they both were forced to live with my mother for a short time, until they could find housing. Unfortunately, this meant that they had to move 50 miles away.

In refute, I present my ex-husband, who is 33 and *still* lives with his mother. She washes his clothes, cooks his meals, feeds his cat, and changes his cat's litter. He works at TacoBell, and paints or plays vidgames the rest of the time. Many times when we were married, we had the enough money for the option of moving out, but he totally refused, claiming that his mother 'needed' him.

This is one reason why I'm no longer married...

[Lagmonster]

In refute, I present my ex-husband, who is 33 and *still* lives with his mother. She washes his clothes, cooks his meals, feeds his cat, and changes his cat's litter. He works at TacoBell, and paints or plays vidgames the rest of the time. Many times when we were married, we had the enough money for the option of moving out, but he totally refused, claiming that his mother 'needed' him.

Damn squared. I don't know anyone who made it to 33 while still keeping his slave-to-the-mom complex (Oedipus? Don't recall quite) going strong. I do know several people of that age who ended up going back home when their personal lives collapsed (divorce and whatnot), but that was usually temporary.

Is it just me, or is it rediculously easy to get cheap and clean lodgings here in Canada, compared to the United States? All the sounds of it seem to show that you American-type folks live in his place of high land values and low salaries. I know of several $500 a month lofts around here that aren't vista hotels, but are at least clean and quiet, and you can turn up $1300 a month at McDonalds if you're a good labourer.

[Rob Wilson]

Just some quick points on this, quite bizarre , thread twist :

1. House availability and prices in the US and Canada are Hugely different to those In the UK and and other countries. Our space for new housing is rediculously restricted these days due to population levels. House prices are at levels that mean at least half your income goes towards your mortgage, if you're lucky (good job, low mortgage). The waiting lists for subsidised accommodation (Council houses and flats) are stupidly long - waiting times of over 2 years are common - unless you are physically/mentally disabled or a refugee.

2. As mentioned before, it's getting more and more common for adults (even married couples) to live with parents. Again this is mostly due to outside influences, rather than by choice - who wants to bring a date home as an adult and have to introduce them to the parents.

3. In London you can easily multiply all costs given above by 5, the place is insanely expensive.

4. It's easier to sort out the mortgage when there are 2 or more contributing, which is why most people wait until they are married. Room/Flat mates may not be an option for some as a number of Landlords do not rent to more than one tenant per property space. Basically the only chances for that are gradually shrinking to University/College digs for a few years while studying.

5. This does not excuse Lazy fucks. The person in the story (and Lady Tevar's ex - BTW WTF was his problem?! ) was obviously a lazyass as his day seemed to revolve around playing computer games rather than work.

I realise I'm reiterating somethings already raised, but I thought i'd expand the knowledge on the UK situation regarding this point.

[Darth Wong]

Is it just me, or is it rediculously easy to get cheap and clean lodgings here in Canada, compared to the United States? All the sounds of it seem to show that you American-type folks live in his place of high land values and low salaries. I know of several $500 a month lofts around here that aren't vista hotels, but are at least clean and quiet, and you can turn up $1300 a month at McDonalds if you're a good labourer.

You don't live in Toronto. We've got 3-bedroom bungalows here going for $600k. A family put up a 4-bedroom in a nice neighbourhood with an asking price of $900k, and buyers got into an insane bidding war that drove the price up to $1.1M. I've talked to people who are paying $1400/mo in rent for an apartment.

Finding a place to stay outside of Toronto isn't too hard; we had a really nice place out near Sarnia for a few years that was right on the river and the rent was cheap. But in Toronto? If you want a nice place that isn't in a shitty neighbourhood, be prepared to cough up at least $400k.

[Anarchist Bunny]

What the fuck is up with this woman? Hopefully this won't cause any new video games are evil shit. Video games have no negative effects on kids mental state or sense of reality. I say we just Vanish/Doom the bitch and leave it at that.

[Rob Wilson]

What the fuck is up with this woman? Hopefully this won't cause any new video games are evil shit. Video games have no negative effects on kids mental state or sense of reality. I say we just Vanish/Doom the bitch and leave it at that.

The harmful effects of Passive Video gaming? you know the papers will come up with some stupid angle.

"I've never played a game in my life, but my boyfriend had one of those Computer things, and played all these violent games. The worst one was something about Mines, and they are just terrible. Well i guess it must have rubbed off on me and that's why I butchered him with a Chainsaw and fed the remains to my cats. It's all the fault of Passive Gaming."

[Rob Wilson]

You don't live in Toronto. We've got 3-bedroom bungalows here going for $600k. A family put up a 4-bedroom in a nice neighbourhood with an asking price of $900k, and buyers got into an insane bidding war that drove the price up to $1.1M. I've talked to people who are paying $1400/mo in rent for an apartment.

Finding a place to stay outside of Toronto isn't too hard; we had a really nice place out near Sarnia for a few years that was right on the river and the rent was cheap. But in Toronto? If you want a nice place that isn't in a shitty neighbourhood, be prepared to cough up at least $400k.

OK, well $400K Canadian is about £176K UK. Which for a big city is quite cheap.

I live in a small town, we're expanding but the prices here are mid-level. I have a 2 bedroom dorma-Bungalow with small garden and Garage, this property is currently valued at £64K - that's roughly $146K Canadian. A largish 4 bedroom house with garage will be about £110K - roughly $250K Canadian. And that's not even the highest priced examples in my area, you go down south or go into any large City in the UK and they'll laugh if you offer that little for a house. Plus wages in the UK, and the high cost of living here (electronics and everyday stuff) means that those kind of prices mean only the highly paid young profesionals or couples are able to get houses for themselves right now. Which the Government doesn't mind, as they don't want to make a big issue out of the shrinking housing land available, nor the population growth problems. [/i]

[Edi]

@this thread in general...

You people have ridiculous living costs, it seems. Apartments here cost, depending on the neighborhood, between €80k and €200k for a 74 square meter place (typically 2 bedrooms, living room, kitchen and bathroom). Typical monthly rent is around €600 to €700 for a 60 sqm flat (suburbs, at least in the house I live in). In the Helsinki centre, it's different, that place is expensive, my parents are asking for something like €550 a month for a 23 sqm singleroom flat they own there, and the one we sold to get money for my current apartment went for €75k, it was 24 sqm. My current place is 61 sqm, excellent condition, and cost only €88k, though it was a bargain, at roughly €12k to €17k less than the market price, so I was extremely lucky. It's even better because it's only 10 km from the city center, located right next to an underground station and the ride to center is just 15 minutes, with trains every ten minutes. With the place as my own, living costs for apartment are €170 per month (including gas for the stove and water for two), plus €12 or so per month for electricity. Other bills come on top of that.

Of course, trying to get the finances for an apartment of your own is difficult enough if you have to pay a rent that consumes something like one quarter to half your salary (before taxes), and with prices going up constantly due to increased demand. It's ridiculous, for the price of a single two-room flat in Helsinki center, you could buy a whole apartment-block in some parts of Finland.

I owe my parents more than I can ever repay, because if they had not bought the three single-room places in Helsinki center 15 to 13 years back (when the prices were less than half of current level), there'd be no way in hell I'd have a place of my own now. The remaining two will sometime in the future fund my sister's and brother's apartments somewhere.

But $1100 or $1300 a month for a basic apartment that's somewhere out in the middle of nowhere (relatively speaking, I mean far away from the local hub)? Sheesh!

BTW, Ravencrow, hi! Long time since you last posted, or then I just missed it.

Edi

[His Divine Shadow]

There's also the factor that some people live in the country, big houses, big land areas and big everything.

Where would one move? To the City? Frankly, the city life sucks diarrhetic shit.

Also one might work at home, help out around the place and such, some people I know have taken over their parents farms and are working and living at home.