What do you get the woman who has everything?

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

User avatar
Lagmonster
Master Control Program
Master Control Program
Posts: 7719
Joined: 2002-07-04 09:53am
Location: Ottawa, Canada

What do you get the woman who has everything?

Post by Lagmonster »

Seriously.

My wife's birthday is this Saturday and I don't have a CLUE what to get her. I have a legitimate 'getaway' spot Friday night, when I will be able to go out shopping without raising her suspicions that I am out getting a gift (she loves surprises)...but I don't know what to get her!

She has everything she needs...practical or otherwise, so it'll have to be something that people wouldn't have ordinarily thought of - something practical yet totally superfluous to ordinary living.

And I...I...I'm STUMPED.
Note: I'm semi-retired from the board, so if you need something, please be patient.
User avatar
jegs2
Imperial Spook
Posts: 4782
Joined: 2002-08-22 06:23pm
Location: Alabama

Post by jegs2 »

I recommend buying her a gift certificate for one of her favorite stores. Ah, and include a single rose with that -- women seem to love a single rose for some reason.
John 3:16-18
Warwolves G2
The University of North Alabama Lions!
User avatar
Rye
To Mega Therion
Posts: 12493
Joined: 2003-03-08 07:48am
Location: Uighur, please!

Post by Rye »

Get her something completely random...or make something...if you're an artist, draw her something. Alternatively, get her the album "Obsolete" by Fear Factory, one of the best albums ever. The Digipak has cars on it, feat gary numan!!!
EBC|Fucking Metal|Artist|Androgynous Sexfiend|Gozer Kvltist|
Listen to my music! http://www.soundclick.com/nihilanth
"America is, now, the most powerful and economically prosperous nation in the country." - Master of Ossus
User avatar
LadyTevar
White Mage
White Mage
Posts: 23507
Joined: 2003-02-12 10:59pm

Re: What do you get the woman who has everything?

Post by LadyTevar »

Lagmonster wrote:Seriously.

She has everything she needs...practical or otherwise, so it'll have to be something that people wouldn't have ordinarily thought of - something practical yet totally superfluous to ordinary living.

And I...I...I'm STUMPED.
Chocolates, Roses, Jewelry....

It might be too late to set up a romantic evening out, but diner, a movie or show, dancing or just a romantic walk in the moonlight....

These are things I'd enjoy, but I don't know about your wife.
Image
Nitram, slightly high on cough syrup: Do you know you're beautiful?
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.

"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
User avatar
LadyTevar
White Mage
White Mage
Posts: 23507
Joined: 2003-02-12 10:59pm

Post by LadyTevar »

jegs2 wrote:I recommend buying her a gift certificate for one of her favorite stores. Ah, and include a single rose with that -- women seem to love a single rose for some reason.

Yes! That way you can be *sure* she gets exactly what she wants. :D

And make it $50 to $100 (Or whatever)
Image
Nitram, slightly high on cough syrup: Do you know you're beautiful?
Me: Nope, that's why I have you around to tell me.
Nitram: You -are- beautiful. Anyone tries to tell you otherwise kill them.

"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP" -- Leonard Nimoy, last Tweet
User avatar
Xenophobe3691
Sith Marauder
Posts: 4334
Joined: 2002-07-24 08:55am
Location: University of Central Florida, Orlando, FL
Contact:

Post by Xenophobe3691 »

Do what I did for my mom on her last birthday.

Get a Star named after her :D
Dark Heresy: Dance Macabre - Imperial Psyker Magnus Arterra

BoTM
Proud Decepticon

Post 666 Made on Fri Jul 04, 2003 @ 12:48 pm
Post 1337 made on Fri Aug 22, 2003 @ 9:18 am
Post 1492 Made on Fri Aug 29, 2003 @ 5:16 pm

Hail Xeno: Lord of Calculus -- Ace Pace
Image
Companion Cube
Biozeminade!
Posts: 3874
Joined: 2003-02-02 04:29pm
Location: what did you doooooo щ(゚Д゚щ)

Post by Companion Cube »

I'd second LadyTevar's "chocolate,Roses.jewellery" idea...

Good luck. :D
And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always a clown
User avatar
RedImperator
Roosevelt Republican
Posts: 16465
Joined: 2002-07-11 07:59pm
Location: Delaware
Contact:

Post by RedImperator »

If a woman doesn't have me, she obviously doesn't have everything.
Image
Any city gets what it admires, will pay for, and, ultimately, deserves…We want and deserve tin-can architecture in a tinhorn culture. And we will probably be judged not by the monuments we build but by those we have destroyed.--Ada Louise Huxtable, "Farewell to Penn Station", New York Times editorial, 30 October 1963
X-Ray Blues
User avatar
InnerBrat
CLIT Commander
Posts: 7469
Joined: 2002-11-26 11:02am
Location: In my own mind.
Contact:

Post by InnerBrat »

Whatever you do, don't do a Manchild and get her a boob job or a gigalo! (although you could recreate the first night you made love if you want)

Jewellery - her birthstone is a diamond, which can be obviously expensive. I recommmend a necklace. Sneak a peek in her box to see if she prefers gold or silver (if silver, then go for white gold, as it's nicer). Go for quality of the stone over size/ fanciness of the design.

Flowers - by no means the entire present, supplimet anything you give her with a red rose (half bloomed).

Don't get her chocolates if she's conscious about her food, though. She might feel guilty for eating them.

If you can't get a reservation at a good restaurant for dinner, cook yourself.
"I fight with love, and I laugh with rage, you gotta live light enough to see the humour and long enough to see some change" - Ani DiFranco, Pick Yer Nose

"Life 's not a song, life isn't bliss, life is just this: it's living." - Spike, Once More with Feeling
User avatar
XPViking
Jedi Knight
Posts: 733
Joined: 2002-07-03 07:48pm
Location: Back in Canada

Post by XPViking »

Red wrote:If a woman doesn't have me, she obviously doesn't have everything.
That leaves itself open to all kinds of comments.

Lagmonster: have you considered getting massage oil?

XPViking
8)
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might if they screamed all the time for no good reason.
User avatar
Pablo Sanchez
Commissar
Posts: 6998
Joined: 2002-07-03 05:41pm
Location: The Wasteland

Post by Pablo Sanchez »

Sudden nudity is always the best...

Seriously, I don't know much about the women, but I have to say that they love jewelry. Generally, it doesn't matter if they have a lot of jewelry--if they don't have that specific piece, they'll accept it.
Image
"I am gravely disappointed. Again you have made me unleash my dogs of war."
--The Lord Humungus
User avatar
Darth Wong
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 70028
Joined: 2002-07-03 12:25am
Location: Toronto, Canada
Contact:

Post by Darth Wong »

A beautiful wristwatch. It's jewellery, it's functional, and it's not as cliched as earrings and necklaces.
Image
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
Nathan F
Resident Redneck
Posts: 4979
Joined: 2002-09-10 08:01am
Location: Around the corner
Contact:

Post by Nathan F »

Porn, lots of porn.

Get her some jewelry or somesuch, and offer to cook dinner that evening for her, something romantic-like.

You can tell I know alot about this. ;)
User avatar
mantakai
Padawan Learner
Posts: 166
Joined: 2002-11-12 02:33am

Post by mantakai »

i must confess my complete woman illiteracy before you read my advice :P

but, you could go for a whole romantic thing, if she has everything object wise that she could want or need, give her a wonderful memory for the future :wink:
"normal is not something to apire to, its something to get away from"
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Despitw being a loser teen who hasn't even had a girlfriend, I'd have to say some jewelery, a lot of some other thing she likes, and sex.
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
User avatar
Anarchist Bunny
Foul, Cruel, and Bad-Tempered Rodent
Posts: 5458
Joined: 2002-07-12 02:08am
Contact:

Post by Anarchist Bunny »

I'm in pretty much the same situation as Smi, but I've had a girl go out with me(not the other way), long story, may make a thread of it one day, but I'll throw in my two cents.

Chocolate covered strawberries, chocolate is an aphrodisiac in women, and this combines chocolate with a fruit, so it's not as bad as giving her straight chocolate.

Don't know if she's into the kind of thing, but you might beable to get tickets to a play or symphony, just be sure she doesn't catch you playing the GBA.

Don't get anything you could remotely take pleasure in, if you get candy, eat none of it. Thats something my dad hasn't learned in 17 years of marriage.

And ofcourse, the necessary dip into the pool of my sick and demented mind, set up a bum fight for her, nothing says love like beggers beating each other with flaming poop on a stick and broken whiskey bottles.
//This Line Blank as of 7/15/07\\
Ornithology Subdirector: SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
Wiilite
Image
User avatar
XaLEv
Lore Monkey
Posts: 5372
Joined: 2002-07-04 06:35am

Post by XaLEv »

Get her The End of Evangelion.

It's the gift that keeps on giving.

But why stop there? Get her Schizopolis too. Both on DVD, of course.
「かかっ―」
User avatar
Durandal
Bile-Driven Hate Machine
Posts: 17927
Joined: 2002-07-03 06:26pm
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Contact:

Re: What do you get the woman who has everything?

Post by Durandal »

Lagmonster wrote:Seriously.

My wife's birthday is this Saturday and I don't have a CLUE what to get her. I have a legitimate 'getaway' spot Friday night, when I will be able to go out shopping without raising her suspicions that I am out getting a gift (she loves surprises)...but I don't know what to get her!

She has everything she needs...practical or otherwise, so it'll have to be something that people wouldn't have ordinarily thought of - something practical yet totally superfluous to ordinary living.

And I...I...I'm STUMPED.
Then don't get her something material. Go to Mario Tricoci or a place like that and get her a voucher for a spa day. She'll go nuts for that. Women love being pampered by gay guys for a day. :D
Damien Sorresso

"Ever see what them computa bitchez do to numbas? It ain't natural. Numbas ain't supposed to be code, they supposed to quantify shit."
- The Onion
User avatar
Uraniun235
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 13772
Joined: 2002-09-12 12:47am
Location: OREGON
Contact:

Post by Uraniun235 »

XaLEv wrote:Get her The End of Evangelion.

It's the gift that keeps on giving.
...bouts of insanity. :P
User avatar
Sriad
Sith Devotee
Posts: 3028
Joined: 2002-12-02 09:59pm
Location: Colorado

Re: What do you get the woman who has everything?

Post by Sriad »

Lagmonster wrote:She has everything she needs...practical or otherwise, so it'll have to be something that people wouldn't have ordinarily thought of - something practical yet totally superfluous to ordinary living.
Well then, the obvious solution is to get her something she doesn't need or/and want. Like chlamydia. Or a puppy.
User avatar
His Divine Shadow
Commence Primary Ignition
Posts: 12791
Joined: 2002-07-03 07:22am
Location: Finland, west coast

Re: What do you get the woman who has everything?

Post by His Divine Shadow »

Lagmonster wrote:Seriously.

My wife's birthday is this Saturday and I don't have a CLUE what to get her. I have a legitimate 'getaway' spot Friday night, when I will be able to go out shopping without raising her suspicions that I am out getting a gift (she loves surprises)...but I don't know what to get her!

She has everything she needs...practical or otherwise, so it'll have to be something that people wouldn't have ordinarily thought of - something practical yet totally superfluous to ordinary living.

And I...I...I'm STUMPED.
Get her a new car.
Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who did not.
User avatar
Gandalf
SD.net White Wizard
Posts: 16367
Joined: 2002-09-16 11:13pm
Location: A video store in Australia

Post by Gandalf »

I say plan a whole romantic day, with flowers, candy, and a nice dinner at the end. Nothing beats plain romanticism.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"

- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
Companion Cube
Biozeminade!
Posts: 3874
Joined: 2003-02-02 04:29pm
Location: what did you doooooo щ(゚Д゚щ)

Post by Companion Cube »

XaLEv wrote:Get her The End of Evangelion.

It's the gift that keeps on giving.
But not the most romantic gift, perhaps...?
And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always a clown
User avatar
salm
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 10296
Joined: 2002-09-09 08:25pm

Post by salm »

A trip to the Easter Islands
User avatar
Lagmonster
Master Control Program
Master Control Program
Posts: 7719
Joined: 2002-07-04 09:53am
Location: Ottawa, Canada

Post by Lagmonster »

Right.

I'm going with a mix of Durandal and LadyTevar on this one. A spa day as the present followed by an evening out at a restaurant and dinner theatre show, topped off with a suite at the Chateau Laurier and a stream of room-service-provided ice cream sundaes the size of small mammals. That should reduce my credit card to a small pile of screaming, smouldering plastic and thus, make her very happy considering how thrifty we normally are. Pity the Summer In The Park symphonies don't start until July...

Thanks to everyone who suggested something, including the truly mind-bogglingly odd or extravagant ones.
Note: I'm semi-retired from the board, so if you need something, please be patient.
Post Reply