If Marina ruled the US

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-04-16 11:56pm

Yes, but I'm very efficient.

Post by **Beowulf** » 2003-04-16 11:58pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Yes, but I'm very efficient.

True, however, you're dead, so that makes no difference whatsoever.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-17 12:00am

HemlockGrey wrote:Yes, but I'm very efficient.

*Hemlock is hit by a precision guided bomb dropped from an A-6F circling above*

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-04-17 12:02am

Of course, this was all a giant sting. The money was mine from the beginning, and now I know all of your secret resources!

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-17 12:05am

HemlockGrey wrote:Of course, this was all a giant sting. The money was mine from the beginning, and now I know all of your secret resources!

I'm not holding back anything. And you're dead.

*Watches as Hemlock drops his own intestines and shredded innards and keels over dead*

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-04-17 12:10am

You must have nailed one of my body-doubles. If I'm dead, how am I talking to you?

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-17 12:11am

HemlockGrey wrote:You must have nailed one of my body-doubles. If I'm dead, how am I talking to you?

I'm channeling your spirit thanks to the evil necromancer's I hired on the side.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-04-17 01:13am

Could I be the Minister of... Hmmm...

... I know! Telecommunication and Censorship (or lack thereof), LOL.

Michael of the Farce, advocate for broadband internet for all, and freedom of information (or something like that).

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-04-17 01:56am

Lord of the Farce wrote:Could I be the Minister of... Hmmm...

... I know! Telecommunication and Censorship (or lack thereof), LOL.

Michael of the Farce, advocate for broadband internet for all, and freedom of information (or something like that).

Information is my turf, pal. Now find something else to do before I hack the FBI database and write your kiddie porn warrant.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-04-17 02:01am

Lord of the Farce wrote:Could I be the Minister of... Hmmm...

... I know! Telecommunication and Censorship (or lack thereof), LOL.

Michael of the Farce, advocate for broadband internet for all, and freedom of information (or something like that).

You people are demonstrating why dictators never get any sleep; look what happens when I leave you alone.

Alright: Grey is so dead for that. We're running an honest government here.

On the plus side, interior is going in favour of the Department of Land Redistribution. More on that later.

Steve is now in charge of the Department of Justice. His job will be to make sure that certain reforms are implemented when the time is right.

Silence will be in charge of the Fed.

Our Farcical Lord here shall have Commerce.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-04-17 02:09am

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:Alright: Grey is so dead for that. We're running an honest government here.

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-04-17 02:10am

*sits there mking sure the laws of the land are upheld*

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-04-17 02:37am

Okay people. The goal of our administration is to reform America domestically so that the sad circumstances of decay that led to my having to become nonconstitutional ruler should not be repeated, and also to vigorously prosecute the War against the Islamofascists until we are victorious.

Remember that in regard to the Middle East we are following this principle: Iraq is the Tactical Pivot, Saudi Arabia is the Strategic Pivot, and Egypt is the Prize.

At home, we must reform the legal code, court system, and overall the federal government. We must also implement emergency government action to deal with situations in the cities, etc, that threaten the long-term stability of the nation.

P.S. I want a "spontaneous" demonstration to result in the defenestration of the U.N. tommorow at noon.

*smiles sweetly* Everyone clear on this?

Very good.

Press Secretaries got this?

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-04-17 02:39am

RedImperator wrote:Information is my turf, pal. Now find something else to do before I hack the FBI database and write your kiddie porn warrant.

"Telecommunication and Censorship" isn't the same as National Security. I mean, do you think it's the NSA that decides whether certain games and movies gets rated as for (eg.) "Teen"?

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:Our Farcical Lord here shall have Commerce.

Your wish is my command. *Bows*

Now, I shall do some research for my new role...

Dictionary.com wrote:com·merce
n.
1. The buying and selling of goods, especially on a large scale, as between cities or nations.
2. Intellectual exchange or social interaction.
3. Sexual intercourse.

Hmmm... Not exactly what I had asked for, but I could live with it (particularly if number 3 applies... a lot).

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-04-17 02:41am

I had to look up "defenestration", Madam President, but now that I know what it means, I shall devote my agency's full efforts to this first task. I can leak a few telephone transcripts and intercepted e-mails that put that agency in a rather bad light to the major New York papers immediately.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-04-17 03:24am

Ooh! Ooh! This is something I want to be part off! Can I have a position, preferably one that makes use of my greatest asset, being able to truly annoy people who take themselves way too seriously? I'm sure you all are familiar with my work, but I can present a resumé if you want.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-04-17 03:35am

Lord of the Farce wrote:
Your wish is my command. *Bows*

Now, I shall do some research for my new role...

Dictionary.com wrote:com·merce
n.
1. The buying and selling of goods, especially on a large scale, as between cities or nations.
2. Intellectual exchange or social interaction.
3. Sexual intercourse.
Hmmm... Not exactly what I had asked for, but I could live with it (particularly if number 3 applies... a lot).

*g* Look up the various agencies inside the Department of Commerce. In most cases my assignments were not as random as they might appear.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-04-17 03:37am

Gil Hamilton wrote:Ooh! Ooh! This is something I want to be part off! Can I have a position, preferably one that makes use of my greatest asset, being able to truly annoy people who take themselves way too seriously? I'm sure you all are familiar with my work, but I can present a resumé if you want.

Do you want Homeland Security? You get to appear on TV and announce the shift in the colour-coded warning level! Of course, the joke's on you, then, not other people, but let's not worry about that little detail. *g*

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-04-17 03:48am

The Duchess of Zeon wrote: Do you want Homeland Security? You get to appear on TV and announce the shift in the colour-coded warning level! Of course, the joke's on you, then, not other people, but let's not worry about that little detail. *g*

Sure, that's perfect, glad to be of service... but don't be suprised if I declare stuff like Alert Level Mauve and that people should saranwrap their neighbors cats to fight terror due to my basic lack of usefulness my job holds for society. On the plus side, all the media outlets are bound to run around like the sky is falling when I say declare that there is an Alert Level Ultraviolet in Tokepa (due to unsubstantiated terror warnings that I received on a coffee stained napkin from a drunken collegue) because it's their job to do so.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-04-17 05:50am

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:Okay people. The goal of our administration is to reform America domestically so that the sad circumstances of decay that led to my having to become nonconstitutional ruler should not be repeated, and also to vigorously prosecute the War against the Islamofascists until we are victorious.

Remember that in regard to the Middle East we are following this principle: Iraq is the Tactical Pivot, Saudi Arabia is the Strategic Pivot, and Egypt is the Prize.

At home, we must reform the legal code, court system, and overall the federal government. We must also implement emergency government action to deal with situations in the cities, etc, that threaten the long-term stability of the nation.

P.S. I want a "spontaneous" demonstration to result in the defenestration of the U.N. tommorow at noon.

*smiles sweetly* Everyone clear on this?

Very good.

Press Secretaries got this?

Umm, maybe one of the first things you should do is improve the U.S. edumecation system so wees all know whatchu saying.

That way we could carry out orders more quickly and efficiently.

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-04-17 06:34am

Damn theres hella posts here... is anything important being said in these parts ?

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-04-17 07:20am

"Viceroy and Governor General of the Former Europen Union" please.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-04-17 08:57am

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:P.S. I want a "spontaneous" demonstration to result in the defenestration of the U.N. tommorow at noon.

::snicker::

That's such a fun word.

It can be arranged, President!

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-04-17 11:43am

Can someone let me off this cross?

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2003-04-17 12:00pm

Sure, Prawn is Manji II, and yet when everyone is turned loose, what happens? I calmly ask for some refits, some research, and an increase in the speed of existing construction. Meanwhile, the rest of you go bonkers, arguing over who killed who and who's speaking through a necromancer. Ha ha.

Okay Madam President, I recommend we do a little PR work before we go into Saudi Arabia with guns blazing. We're going to make them good and hated over here in the US first, and frankly that won't be hard.

Whoever is in charge of propaganda: I politely recommend a full media blitz trashing the Saudis, touting their extremists schools and the fact that almost all of the 9/11 hijackers were Saudis, plus anything else important, and any workable lies you can come up with. Smear them hard.

Oh, and let's throw in a lot of military recruitment advertising, and give the grunts a raise while we're at it. We're going to want a large high-morale army in the years to come. (Toys aren't everything Shep!)

And lastly, Madam President, I ask that Stormbringer be arrested for threatening the life of a government official. He should be given a fair trial, and then shot.