The Darth Wong/Darkstar Argument (Condensed Version)

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2003-04-20 11:26am

M: Ok, so where's your evidence for mysterious forces blowing up Alderaan instead of the Death Star's raw power?
D: I told you once.

M: No you haven't.

D: Yes I have.

M: When?

D: Just now.

M: No you didn't.

D: Yes I did.

M: You didn't

D: I did!

M: You didn't!

D: I'm telling you I did!

M: You most certainly did not.

D: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.

M: No you did not.

D: Yes I did.

M: No you didn't.

D: Yes I did.

M: No you didn't.

D: Yes I did.

M: No you didn't.

D: Yes I did.

M: You didn't.

D: Did.

M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.

D: Yes it is.

M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.

D: No it isn't.

M: It is!

D: It is not.

M: Look, you just contradicted me.

D: I did not.

M: Oh you did!!

D: No, no, no.

M: You did just then.

D: Nonsense!

M: Oh, this is futile!

D: No it isn't.

M: I wanted this to be a proper argument.

D: No you didn't; you wanted this to be a argument.

M: An argument isn't just contradiction.

D: It can be.

M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

D: No it isn't.

M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.

D: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.

M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'

D: Yes it is!

M: No it isn't!

D: Yes it is!

M: An argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.

(short pause)

D: No it isn't.

M: It is.

D: Not at all.

M: Now look asshole--

D: (Rings bell) Concession Accepted!

M: What?

D: Concession Accepted!

M: What the fuck are you talking about?...

D: Sorry, you conceeded the argument.

M: I never conceeded the argument!

D: I'm afraid you did.

M: I didn't.

(Pause)

D: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.

M: What?!

D: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to conceed that you called me bad names, which is a direct violation of the terms of this argument.

M: Oh come on!

D: (Hums)

M: Look, this is ridiculous.

D: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you conceed!

M: Oh, all right, you fucking dipshit.

D: Thank you.

(short pause)

M: Well?

D: Well what?
M: Where's your evidence for mysterious forces blowing up Alderaan instead of the Death Star's raw power, your idiotic fucking asshole?

D: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've conceeded that you called me names.

M: I just paid!

D: No you didn't.

M: I DID!

D: No you didn't.

M: Look, I don't want to argue about that.

D: Well, you didn't conceed.

M: Aha. If I didn't conceed, why are you arguing? I've got you!

D: No you haven't.

M: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have conceeded.

D: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.

M: Oh I've had enough of this.

D: No you haven't.

M: Oh Shut up!

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-04-20 11:32am

LMAO...nice retelling of a great skit.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-04-20 11:36am

I really liked it. I am a big Monty Python fan.

Next, the Fish-Slapping Dance with Ousus and Ben.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-04-20 12:05pm

Darkstar is an embarassment (sp?) to every other person who ever liked Star Trek. Not to mention the even bigger embarassment (sp?) he is to the people who make Star Trek....

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-20 01:49pm

lmao, so true.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-20 02:11pm

Funny

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-04-20 06:40pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:Darkstar is an embarassment (sp?) to every other person who ever liked Star Trek. Not to mention the even bigger embarassment (sp?) he is to the people who make Star Trek....

If he's so stupid that it's embarrasing to B&B then he must be less intelligent than a single celled organisim.

brothersinarm · Post by **brothersinarm** » 2003-04-20 06:46pm

that skit didn't seem to go no where. I assume that's the trademark of Darkstar?

mauldooku · Post by **mauldooku** » 2003-04-20 07:08pm

ROFL!

brothersinarm · Post by **brothersinarm** » 2003-04-20 07:14pm

I don't know about you guys but I could use some entertainment. How about letting one or two of these famous trolls back on the board so we can have some fun listening to their aimless rants?

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-04-20 07:17pm

Ah, yes, Monty Python...

That reminds me:
http://www.daltonator.net/fanfics/humor ... knight.txt

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2003-04-20 09:08pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:Darkstar is an embarassment (sp?) to every other person who ever liked Star Trek. Not to mention the even bigger embarassment (sp?) he is to the people who make Star Trek....

And he is the biggest embarassment to the WHOLE human race!

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-04-21 01:26am

That analogy has occured to me before, good one Lord Poe!

Sokar · Post by **Sokar** » 2003-04-21 01:30am

brothersinarm wrote:I don't know about you guys but I could use some entertainment. How about letting one or two of these famous trolls back on the board so we can have some fun listening to their aimless rants?

Darkstar has a Chinamans chance in hell of EVER getting back on to this board, thou you can see more of his idiocy on his web site, which I WILL NOT disclose here and sully the screens of all who see it......

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-04-21 01:44am

brothersinarm wrote:I don't know about you guys but I could use some entertainment. How about letting one or two of these famous trolls back on the board so we can have some fun listening to their aimless rants?

Find some of his older stuff.

Seriously the man was beyond redemption in his quest to somehow prove ST was the end all of the SWvsST war.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-21 01:55am

Missouri police are still baffled as to the circumstances that led to the tragic death of Robert Scott Anderson early Thursday morning. Anderson, known on the internet as DarkStar or Guardian2000, was struck and killed by a speeding automobile as he was running down a busy highway near the University of Missouri where he was employed.

According to eyewitness reports, Anderson ran back and forth I-70 during the morning rush hour carrying a cardboard sign over his head. Written in purple crayon on both sides of the placard was the strange slogan "I AM CANON - YOU ARE EU - WE ARE PARALLEL".

St. Louis police detective John Frankle said, "Clearly, this was a troubled young man. From what we've been able to gather from his co-workers, it apparently seems that Mr. Anderson was attempting to prove some theory of his. I'm not sure if he was successful or not."

At approximately 7:30 AM, police responded to reports of a pedestrian on I-70 and initially tried to talk Anderson off the highway for his own safety. According to Sgt. Dan Sansweet who was first on the scene, Anderson resisted their entreaties and threateningly shook his sign at them. "He wouldn't stop. We came along side and asked him if he would talk to us about what he was doing. He shouted that he had already explained his theory and it was not his fault that we missed it. We tried to get him to peacefully get in our squad car but he insisted that we didn't intrude on his universe. After ten minutes of this we got fed up and pulled onto the shoulder a couple hundred yards ahead of Mr. Anderson to wait and see if he would tire and give himself up. I was into my third donut when the first car clipped him."

The impact ripped his right arm below the shoulder and spun him around. Seemingly unfazed, Anderson continued moving; waving the sign wildly with his only remaining hand. Another car then caught him on the left side, tearing off his other arm and causing it to sail through the air only to fly into an open school bus window and onto a third graders lap. The child went on to win first place in his school's Halloween costume contest for his "three armed freak" before police recovered the limb.

Amazingly, even this did not stop Anderson. Somehow he managed to pick his sign up in his teeth and carry on. He made it about another twenty feet when he was hit from behind. He was sent flying in the air feet first into the back of a tree service truck. Police are still at a loss as to how the chipper turned itself on.

"Yeah, that's when it got real messy," explained officer Cerasi, "the blood got everywhere. I even had to throw out my coffee. Anyway, the chipper chewed up his legs to about the knee then it kicked him out and he somehow landed upright back in the middle of the road standing on those bloody stumps. What I can't believe is that he still had that stupid sign in his mouth."

Mr. Anderson was then crushed beneath a runaway Blue Note's Zambonie and died shortly after of gangrene.

Police were asked why they did not block off traffic on the highway so as to avoid this senseless tragedy.

"Gee, we never thought about that," said Sansweet, "That's a really good idea. Bob, write that down."

~the things I save. someone at sdnet wrote it, but I dont know who.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-04-21 01:58am

Written by none other than ASVS Press senior editor Phil Skayhan.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-21 02:02am

its good to credit these things.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-04-22 02:21pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:<snip>

Dark Primus · Post by **Dark Primus** » 2003-04-22 03:42pm

So that is how Duckstar argues. Going nowhere, getting nowhere. I guess thats how he live his life.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-04-22 04:10pm

Funny. Damn funny. Although the similarity is also quite scarry. Of course its also quite scarry that someone as dumb as darkstar can actually use a keyboard.

Post by **Beowulf** » 2003-04-22 04:17pm

This is da funny...

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-04-24 11:13am

Ah, the classic fight between Darth ("Mr. Rational") Wong and Dork("I'll bite your legs off!")Star. Pretty much irrestible force(Clear evidence) vs. immovable object(Wall o' ignorance). I love it.

Bug-Eyed Earl · Post by **Bug-Eyed Earl** » 2003-05-07 05:12pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:Missouri police are still baffled as to the circumstances that led to the tragic death of Robert Scott Anderson early Thursday morning. Anderson, known on the internet as DarkStar or Guardian2000, was struck and killed by a speeding automobile as he was running down a busy highway near the University of Missouri where he was employed.

According to eyewitness reports, Anderson ran back and forth I-70 during the morning rush hour carrying a cardboard sign over his head. Written in purple crayon on both sides of the placard was the strange slogan "I AM CANON - YOU ARE EU - WE ARE PARALLEL".

St. Louis police detective John Frankle said, "Clearly, this was a troubled young man. From what we've been able to gather from his co-workers, it apparently seems that Mr. Anderson was attempting to prove some theory of his. I'm not sure if he was successful or not."

At approximately 7:30 AM, police responded to reports of a pedestrian on I-70 and initially tried to talk Anderson off the highway for his own safety. According to Sgt. Dan Sansweet who was first on the scene, Anderson resisted their entreaties and threateningly shook his sign at them. "He wouldn't stop. We came along side and asked him if he would talk to us about what he was doing. He shouted that he had already explained his theory and it was not his fault that we missed it. We tried to get him to peacefully get in our squad car but he insisted that we didn't intrude on his universe. After ten minutes of this we got fed up and pulled onto the shoulder a couple hundred yards ahead of Mr. Anderson to wait and see if he would tire and give himself up. I was into my third donut when the first car clipped him."

The impact ripped his right arm below the shoulder and spun him around. Seemingly unfazed, Anderson continued moving; waving the sign wildly with his only remaining hand. Another car then caught him on the left side, tearing off his other arm and causing it to sail through the air only to fly into an open school bus window and onto a third graders lap. The child went on to win first place in his school's Halloween costume contest for his "three armed freak" before police recovered the limb.

Amazingly, even this did not stop Anderson. Somehow he managed to pick his sign up in his teeth and carry on. He made it about another twenty feet when he was hit from behind. He was sent flying in the air feet first into the back of a tree service truck. Police are still at a loss as to how the chipper turned itself on.

"Yeah, that's when it got real messy," explained officer Cerasi, "the blood got everywhere. I even had to throw out my coffee. Anyway, the chipper chewed up his legs to about the knee then it kicked him out and he somehow landed upright back in the middle of the road standing on those bloody stumps. What I can't believe is that he still had that stupid sign in his mouth."

Mr. Anderson was then crushed beneath a runaway Blue Note's Zambonie and died shortly after of gangrene.

Police were asked why they did not block off traffic on the highway so as to avoid this senseless tragedy.

"Gee, we never thought about that," said Sansweet, "That's a really good idea. Bob, write that down."

~the things I save. someone at sdnet wrote it, but I dont know who.

I drive down I-70 every so often.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-05-07 11:55pm

Can you do the Arthur arguing with a peasant sketch from Holy Grail?