Boy-related: Gah! SO CONFUSED!!!!!!

[The Dark]

I've always gone for girls in that height range, but they have to have a little meat on their bones. I just can't stand girls with legs that look like twigs. That's not fucking attractive. It's impossible to be attractive when you bear an objective resemblance to Jews in a Nazi concentration camp!

Yes. I love that sleek, toned smooth look that swimmers and running girls have. Yummy.

ooooooh...runner's ass. So cute and tight and... *ahem*. Got a wee bit carried away, I did. Yeah, I agree. Distance runners especially. Cross-country team starts their run right outside my dorm at 5 PM every day .

And Zaia, I would agree that you should encourage him subtly. Most of us guys, from what I've seen, really do fit the hamster analogy. You gotta build up trust slowly, or else he'll get skittish. And skittish hamsters do one of two things: hide or bite. Neither one's a good thing.

[Enforcer Talen]

biting can be good. heh.

[Master of Ossus]

Zaia, unfortunately I would recommend that you bite the bullet and talk with him. With things like this, you have to remember that the sooner you talk about it--for better or for worse--it will be over with. Tell him about how you feel. If he likes you, too, then great. If he doesn't too bad. If how you act online is anything like the way you act in RL, you'll find someone else who'll be great, too.

[Zaia]

Ok, so, I saw him yesterday (he's the director for a pep band that plays for lax games, and he asked me to help out, so I play with them).

He brought a friend with him. An utterly beautiful, drop-dead-gorgeous, naturally stunning friend. She's exactly the same height as he is, she dresses well, has a lovely smile, PERFECT figure, etc etc etc... When he saw me, he had a little smile on his face and looked like he was happy to see me (like he'd maybe missed me a bit--we hadn't seen each other in a week, after seeing each other every day for six days due to the show we were doing together). After a few 'hellos' and such, he said to me, "Kristin, I want you to meet my friend Julie" and then started talking about how wonderful I am (basically like a mini-biography about me). I felt like tossing in the towel at that moment because there would be no WAY for me to compete with a woman like this. No way.

Anyway, I was friendly and shook her hand and made a little conversation, but I just wanted to give up. I talked to them a little bit and it turns out she's known him for five or six years (not sure if they've been good friends that long, though). After the game, I ended up next to her as we were leaving the stadium, and I started some friendly conversation (I can't even help it--I wanted to be so mad and depressed at her existence, but I couldn't help but be nice to her), asking her if she enjoyed the game. Well, it was obviously from her answer that she was only barely aware that a game had been played, so she didn't come because she's a big lax fan or anything. (Duh.) Anyway, I was making small talk to make her feel more comfortable when Brian reappeared. I finished a sentence I was saying to her and turned around to see him standing right in front of me, staring at me. I just looked at him and he said, "What?" I said, smiling, "I'm sorry, I don't believe I was talking to you." He asked me again, "What were you talking about?" So I smiled as sweetly as I could, tilted my head to the side, and said, "I really don't remember talking to you just now. Sorry!" and practically ran off. I was afraid they were going to get all lovey-dovey and I *SO* did not want to see any of that. Bleck.

Well, they caught up with me, even though I completely dusted them on my way out of the stadium, and Brian started talking to me about random music stuff. Then, when they were leaving, he asked about my schedule and whether I'd be available Wednesday nights for practice, and then he said, "Oh no, that's right, I forgot, you have percussion ensemble Wednesday nights." I told him that I used to, but that I had cancelled my percussion ensemble, but that I'd be busy because marching band percussion rehearsals were starting and those were going to be Wed. nights as well. Since I had talked to him about my problems with my percussion ensemble kids, he wanted to know why I had cancelled it, but I didn't really want to get into it then, so after some extensive eye contact (which I am TOTALLY a sucker for), he said, "Call me and tell me all about it. I'll just listen." So I said ok, Julie turned to me and said, "It was really nice meeting you," I said something similar, and they left.

So....why was she there?

I have a couple ideas.

1) They've recently started dating and she's clingy and likes to spend as much time with him as possible. I find this highly unlikely, since I've only been away from him for a week and, if they'd be dating before then, she surely would've come to one of the West Side performances or the concert Sunday night that he conducted, etc. So...they would've had to have started dating this past week. The boy is very busy, so I kind of doubt it, but who knows.

2) She's a friend from out of town who's here for Easter and wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, so she dealt with the lacrosse game so she could hang with him longer.

3) He wanted her to meet me. This theory doesn't hold up too well, because I didn't really talk to her much and they didn't invite me to go out with them afterwards (I don't know if they had time to hang out or not--she could have had to leave right after the game--or they could have gone back to his house to have sex, I don't know). But he did talk an awful lot about how fabulous he thought I was, and I still have no idea who she is. He's told me quite a few stories about his friends and family, and she's never come up before, so....

The weirdest part about this is that I feel like I should be feeling really insecure, but I'm not. For whatever reason, I still feel optimistic about him (which of course means that if he IS dating her, I'll be that much more crushed). It's very confusing. To me, anyway.

So...what do you think? Are you confused too? Is this a bad sign? Good? No idea?

The next time I talk to him I plan on getting some more information on her, but for right now we'll just have to sit on this as what I know. So, yeah. What say you?

[InnerBrat]

Z, self esteem alert!

An utterly beautiful, drop-dead-gorgeous, naturally stunning friend. She's exactly the same height as he is, she dresses well, has a lovely smile, PERFECT figure, etc etc etc...

Bollocks to that. men don't seem to work like that. The only way you could tell if he's shagging her is if he turns round and snogs her in front of you, or introduces her as 'my girlfriend.'

Question - to WHOM was he talking to about WHOM?

he said to me, "Kristin, I want you to meet my friend Julie" and then started talking about how wonderful I am (basically like a mini-biography about me)

If he was telling you about how wonderful he thinks she is, then they're dating, and he wanted your approval. As he wasn't, it's YOU he likes and it's YOU he wants his friend to meet.

[aphexmonster]

Some guys just dont get along with guys as well as they get along with guys so they have alot of female friends. Its probably not even a competition ... just because shes attractive to you, doesn't mean he sees anything in her. He could see more in you than Woman X ( since you didn't mention her name ) I dont think you should worry, and if you are, maybe you should ask the only person that knows. Them... not us

hope all goes well for you zaia

[Hethrir]

Jealousy. He could be trying to make you jealous to spark a reaction in you. He wants to find out if you feel for him, so he brings along a hot chic to see how you react.

Surely if he was seeing her, and you are such great friends he would have said something? As Innerbrat said, he was raving about you to her so there shouldn't be too much to worry about.

If he is doing all i said, then he may be getting short of patience with the tension between you. Make a move. Massage him or climb on him.

[Captain Cyran]

*Was about to let loose the balloons.*

You chickened out? Grrr..Zaia!

Alright boys, set up the balloons again...yeah I know, I'll throw in extra pay for you.

[Enforcer Talen]

wait. . .ballons flying away. . .

I can't let go!

-drifts away into the sky-

[Zaia]

*Was about to let loose the balloons.*

You chickened out? Grrr..Zaia!

Alright boys, set up the balloons again...yeah I know, I'll throw in extra pay for you.

O Capitan, I didn't have time to say anything! Both of us were racing out of there when the game was over because we had other plans! I couldn't just say it and bolt! Give me a chance here!! Please!

[Ghost Rider]

*Was about to let loose the balloons.*

You chickened out? Grrr..Zaia!

Alright boys, set up the balloons again...yeah I know, I'll throw in extra pay for you.

O Capitan, I didn't have time to say anything! Both of us were racing out of there when the game was over because we had other plans! I couldn't just say it and bolt! Give me a chance here!! Please!

Don't worry you'l have other chances .

[Zaia]

I dont think you should worry, and if you are, maybe you should ask the only person that knows. Them... not us

LOL, hey, thanks.


Thanks, GR, I think I'll have other chances as well. Soon, too, I'm guessing.

[aerius]

In my opinion? Way too much thinking, analyzing, and double & triple guessing going on. Let's see if I can break it down a bit, the facts as I see them.

1. He brought an attractive chick with him
2. He introduced you to this chick and sang your praises
3. Brian & the chick have known each other for a while
4. You and her managed to talk & get along with each other (ie. no killings)
5. You ditched them after Brian interupted/inserted himself into the conversation you were having with the chick
6. They caught back up to you and Brian tried to make some conversation with you
7. After which you & Julie said "nice meeting you, etc." and they left

Unfortunately there was a massive breakdown of communication which led to mis-understandings, assumptions, awkwardness, and even some rash decisions being made. For one thing, Brian & Julie's background will have to be cleared up before you can make any guesses at their relationship. How did they meet, where'd they know each other from, been friends long, background stuff like that. Without knowing that all you can do is make blind guesses and assumptions, which leads nowhere and just ends up with more nervousness and getting awkward around each other, which is exactly what you don't want. More to follow, I need to get my thoughts into something coherant....

Edit: I'm losing my mind right now and can't get my thoughts in order, I'll call it a day for now and write things as they come.

[Zaia]

aerius, I know I overanalyze. I really write about this stuff to get it organized in my brain so that I don't confuse myself to death. I've sort of been using this thread in place of diary, so that's why I sound vaguely psychotic.

And I thought you were perfectly coherent. You were stating the facts as they were presenting, you made no assumptions and told me to get my facts straight before trying to determine where the playing field lies.

[Gandalf]

Zaia,
What might be good for you to do in this situation, is to basically just ask, though you can just ask in a friendly style manner, this won't arouse suspicion amongst anyone, especially as the two of you seem to be good friends. Judging by his reaction it might be possible to tell how he feels about you.

That's my 2 Australian cents, worth bugger all in the US.

[Captain Cyran]

*Was about to let loose the balloons.*

You chickened out? Grrr..Zaia!

Alright boys, set up the balloons again...yeah I know, I'll throw in extra pay for you.

O Capitan, I didn't have time to say anything! Both of us were racing out of there when the game was over because we had other plans! I couldn't just say it and bolt! Give me a chance here!! Please!

Alright alright, but I started reading going "Yay, she started using our advice and everything is working perfectly." Then I kept reading and was a bit dissappointed. Be more careful about freaking out on the poor guy next time, I'm sure that is not helping your cause.

I understands completely, so I'll give ya another week. lol, j/k. Don't rush this or you risk screwing everything up.

[Shinova]

There's barely anything I can add except that maybe you may just have found the one guy who really doesn't care much about looks and cares only about character. So maybe the hot chick really is just a friend to him.


That's all I will add. Good luck to you (and everyone else).

[aphexmonster]

I dont think you should worry, and if you are, maybe you should ask the only person that knows. Them... not us

LOL, hey, thanks.


Thanks, GR, I think I'll have other chances as well. Soon, too, I'm guessing.

im tellin you, things always work out for the best =/

[Captain Cyran]

I dont think you should worry, and if you are, maybe you should ask the only person that knows. Them... not us

LOL, hey, thanks.


Thanks, GR, I think I'll have other chances as well. Soon, too, I'm guessing.

im tellin you, things always work out for the best =/

And if they don't....

We MAKE them work for the best.

[LordShaithis]

MAKE YOUR MOVE!

[mantakai]

ok, zaia, you have to allow acceptions for this cause after all you are dealing with a guy and we sometimes are ignorant of the obvious.

I see this one of two ways, either he was just introducing you to a friend like he says and didnt consider what you could conclude about the situation, which is very acceptable, just because she is good looking doesnt mean they are dating. The other way would be that he intentionally introduced this good looking friend to you to see your reaction in order to figure out how you feel about him. Keep in mind that the second optoin is probably not plausable cause a guy couldnt come up with such a plan

But by the simple facts that he was singing your praise to this mystery woman and that he was worried about you when you walked off and asked you to ring him shows that he obviously cares for you. You are still in the game zaia, if you want him, he is as good as yours

there are another 2 australian cents for you, soon you'll be rich

[Captain Cyran]

MAKE YOUR MOVE!

I concur.

[Zaia]

Thanks for helping me with this, everyone, and thank you especially for all the enthusiasm and well-wishes. I'll be sure to pass on any/all late-breaking developments.

[Stampede]

*enthusiastic townie voice*
YOU CAN DO IT!!!

[Captain Cyran]

Thanks for helping me with this, everyone, and thank you especially for all the enthusiasm and well-wishes. I'll be sure to pass on any/all late-breaking developments.

The balloons will be ready...maybe I'll get some confetti too...hmmmmm.