If Marina ruled the US

Post by **Beowulf** » 2003-04-20 11:53pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:When was that? I'm talking to Marina about this. Besides, I think I'm still in charge of Customs as well.
The Coast Guard was made part of Homeland Security very recently, before which it was part of the department of Transportation.

That means as Director of Homeland Security, the Coasties work for me.

*grabs Coast Guard back...* What? I need them...

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-20 11:58pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:
phongn wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:I told you that guy was trouble! Now can I please be in charge of the Navy with Sea Skimmer as CNO?
It looks like Ice has seized control as SecNav. You're probably SecNav now, and Sea Skimmer head of BuShips or whatever.
*Hides flag of the new Chinese Hegemony and 50 year plan for surpassing American power*

BuShips suits me

*Report's Skimmer's activities and watches as he's frog marched out and shot*

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-21 12:02am

Stormbringer wrote:
*Report's Skimmer's activities and watches as he's frog marched out and shot*

Hahaha, reveal me to your madam president and you expose your own incompetence and make that of the FBI even more apparent.

*Escapes back to China with a briefcase full of hard drives laden with classified data from every service*

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-04-21 12:03am

Beowulf wrote:*grabs Coast Guard back...* What? I need them...

*takes them back* No, I need them more. For Security. You know, of the Homeland. Anyway, take it up with Marina, I'm sure that I will be deemed Head Puddle Nazi.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-04-21 12:13am

Sea Skimmer wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:
*Report's Skimmer's activities and watches as he's frog marched out and shot*
Hahaha, reveal me to your madam president and you expose your own incompetence and make that of the FBI even more apparent.

*Escapes back to China with a briefcase full of hard drives laden with classified data from every service*

::watches as the plane lands in the ROC where Sea Skimmer is promptly apprehended and shot; the briefcase is returned unopened to the US::

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-04-21 12:14am

Sea Skimmer wrote:Hahaha, reveal me to your madam president and you expose your own incompetence and make that of the FBI even more apparent.

*Escapes back to China with a briefcase full of hard drives laden with classified data from every service*

*Grins evily*

Madam President, our newly developed super-worm program residing within those hard drives that the traitor Sea Skimmer took with him will quickly give us access to every computer system that tries to access the data within, as well as scrambling all of the important files beyond recovery.

And we don't even have to fire a single shot.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-21 12:14am

Gil Hamilton wrote:
Beowulf wrote:*grabs Coast Guard back...* What? I need them...
*takes them back* No, I need them more. For Security. You know, of the Homeland. Anyway, take it up with Marina, I'm sure that I will be deemed Head Puddle Nazi.

*Has Marine Division steal them back* Ha, take that!

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-04-21 12:16am

Damn it phongn, we could have had full access to the PRC's computer network! Must you people be so trigger happy? *Sigh*

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-21 12:19am

Lord of the Farce wrote: *Grins evily*

Madam President, our newly developed super-worm program residing within those hard drives that the traitor Sea Skimmer took with him will quickly give us access to every computer system that tries to access the data within, as well as scrambling all of the important files beyond recovery.

And we don't even have to fire a single shot.

Fools, where not so stupid as to access them from computers with network or internet connections. But of course now we have access to your super worm, and can turn it against you.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-04-21 12:19am

Stormbringer wrote:*Has Marine Division steal them back* Ha, take that!

*declares Stormbringer a terrorist and has members of certain three letter agencies arrest him and hold him without trial* Well, that is that...

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-21 12:21am

Gil Hamilton wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:*Has Marine Division steal them back* Ha, take that!
*declares Stormbringer a terrorist and has members of certain three letter agencies arrest him and hold him without trial* Well, that is that...

*The Marine guards promptly let me out and I enjoy a month long vacation in sunny Gitmo, Cuba instead*

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-21 12:21am

phongn wrote:
::watches as the plane lands in the ROC where Sea Skimmer is promptly apprehended and shot; the briefcase is returned unopened to the US::

Congratulations in creating an international incident with my decoy, whose also the brainwashed son of the Japanese prime Minster. I expect Japan will now be far more willing to share additional details on SPY-1 and other US equipment.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-04-21 12:23am

Sea Skimmer wrote:Fools, where not so stupid as to access them from computers with network or internet connections. But of course now we have access to your super worm, and can turn it against you.

Which part of "give us access to every computer system that tries to access the data within, as well as scrambling all of the important files beyond recovery" did you miss? You can't touch the worm because anything that gets within reach is ours.

BTW, that's no the only way we're sending in the super-worm.

[Nelson]Ha-ha![/Nelson]

EDIT: Phear our super-worm's AI!

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-21 12:26am

Gil Hamilton wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:*Has Marine Division steal them back* Ha, take that!
*declares Stormbringer a terrorist and has members of certain three letter agencies arrest him and hold him without trial* Well, that is that...

Disarray within the Imperialists government, excellent

*Seizes parts of Kazakhstan and Krygyzstan, holds referendums in favor of the occupation and gets a supportive UN resolution before the busy US government can react*

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-04-21 12:27am

Sea Skimmer wrote:Congratulations in creating an international incident with my decoy, whose also the brainwashed son of the Japanese prime Minster. I expect Japan will now be far more willing to share additional details on SPY-1 and other US equipment.

Not when they see this video:

SEA SKIMMER: Congratulations in creating an international incident with my decoy, whose also the brainwashed son of the Japanese prime Minster. I expect Japan will now be far more willing to share additional details on SPY-1 and other US equipment.

*Thumbs-up to the Intelligence people*

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-21 12:29am

Lord of the Farce wrote:
Which part of "give us access to every computer system that tries to access the data within, as well as scrambling all of the important files beyond recovery" did you miss? You can't touch the worm because anything that gets within reach is ours.

We easily acquired the descrambling codes through one of our agents sexual associations with top NSA personal.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-21 12:32am

Lord of the Farce wrote:
Not when they see this video:

SEA SKIMMER: Congratulations in creating an international incident with my decoy, whose also the brainwashed son of the Japanese prime Minster. I expect Japan will now be far more willing to share additional details on SPY-1 and other US equipment.

*Thumbs-up to the Intelligence people*

Japanese prime Minster: How dare America murder my kidnapped son, the least they could have done was return him to me! This tape might reveal Chinese miss doings, but it also shows that America new full well who it was killing! I demand that America withdraw all forces from Japan at once and provide full compenstation!

Nice move.....

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-04-21 12:36am

Sea Skimmer wrote:We easily acquired the descrambling codes through one of our agents sexual associations with top NSA personal.

Then it's too bad that you're missing the critical component of the descrambling codes that right now only I (and soon, Madam President as well) know.

BTW, my secret high level insiders in the PRC has convinced the higher ups that you are really a double agent. Better start running.

*Turns off the electronic device scrambler which prevented any records of the above exchange to be recorded*

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-04-21 12:44am

Sea Skimmer wrote:Japanese prime Minster: How dare America murder my kidnapped son, the least they could have done was return him to me! This tape might reveal Chinese miss doings, but it also shows that America new full well who it was killing! I demand that America withdraw all forces from Japan at once and provide full compenstation!

Nice move.....

Nice try, but: *Points out to the timestamp of the recording*

Japanese Prime Minster: How dare he attempt to stain my ally's and my own honour to trying to play us against each other! And to use my own son as a pawn in his deception! We shall capture this spy and have him brought to justice!

Tsk tsk tsk... Now you have both the China and Japan wanting your head on a platter.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-21 12:44am

Lord of the Farce wrote:
BTW, my secret high level insiders in the PRC has convinced the higher ups that you are really a double agent. Better start running.

Yes I was, and in that role America trusted me and allowed me to steal countless secrets. The elite of the party belive the it is in my debt, and your attempts to twist the truth have revealed many of your spies to the state secuirty services.

Lord of the Farce · Post by **Lord of the Farce** » 2003-04-21 12:58am

Sea Skimmer wrote: Yes I was, and in that role America trusted me and allowed me to steal countless secrets. The elite of the party belive the it is in my debt, and your attempts to twist the truth have revealed many of your spies to the state secuirty services.

Oh, did you think I mean a double agent working for the PRC? Oh no, you see, people more trusted than an volatile double agent has provided evidence that you've been trying to play both side for fools. And you think the higher ups in the PRC wants to be seen with someone who is so dangerous for their foreign relations, now that the country is really starting to moving up in the world?

I have a document right here from Mr. Hu Jintao, witnessed by Mr. Wen Jiabao and Mr. Jiang Zemin, that the PRC wash their hands of anything related to you. Now that you are too dangerous to be allowed to live, I guess I'll have to turn things over to the trigger happy people I had to restraint before.

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-04-21 01:16am

*coughcough* Ahem!

"All your disk are belong to us".

Iceberg! We will see to the staffing of the Battleships once Mexico is annexed. It will be awhile, patience, patience-- but the technology should be familiar so no trouble there! Keeping Mexico backwards and out of the loop now provides us with millions of people who can easily use technology from up to two generations ago!

That means they will be able to use all the Russian and Chinse stuff that we capture as well, the better to infiltrate rivals (quietly monitors Sea Skimmer's activities with the PRC).

That said, we must also look to the Air Force. All ground-attack roles (ie, A-10s and similar systems) will now belong to the Army. The USAF hates them anyway. And disposable long-range drone bombers! Oh, wait... those are MIRVs...nevermind...

Army-- get a decent &*%$# troop carrier for once! Pick one design and stay with it! Dammit! Testing trials, people~~ LAV-25 stock form, Stryker, Bradley, or what? Let's see something good here! I want full amphib capability, airlift, sealift, hell airdrop as well! Something that can at least survive a &*%$# LAPES extraction without turning into a giant "return for deposit-- keep the battlefield beautiful" monument.

That is all.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-04-21 01:18am

OK, people. Stupidity over.

*ventilates Sea Skimmer's skull with ten nice 10mm holes*

You've been dismissed for cause, Skimmer.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-21 03:09am

Iceberg wrote:OK, people. Stupidity over.

*ventilates Sea Skimmer's skull with ten nice 10mm holes*

You've been dismissed for cause, Skimmer.

Thank you for aiding the People's Republic in ballistics testing its new battle helmet, it performed with total success.

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2003-04-21 03:14am

Hahaha, I wanted to get past this and eventually start discussing foreign policy, but I can already forsee this thread's entire lifespan. It's going to be "You can't build the BBXDD! I said no!" "Well I killed you!" "No you didn't!" for another week or two, and then it'll peter out. Too bad. It could have been an interesting sort of roleplayed political discussion. Instead it's an increasingly dull dissertation on military bureaucracy sprinkled with the usual "I killd u with a railgun d00d!" idiocy that seems to creep into every thread here.