If Marina ruled the US

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-04-21 09:19am

Coyote wrote:That said, we must also look to the Air Force. All ground-attack roles (ie, A-10s and similar systems) will now belong to the Army. The USAF hates them anyway. And disposable long-range drone bombers! Oh, wait... those are MIRVs...nevermind...

Fuck you, Key West remains in force!

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-04-21 09:20am

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:Hahaha, I wanted to get past this and eventually start discussing foreign policy, but I can already forsee this thread's entire lifespan. It's going to be "You can't build the BBXDD! I said no!" "Well I killed you!" "No you didn't!" for another week or two, and then it'll peter out. Too bad. It could have been an interesting sort of roleplayed political discussion. Instead it's an increasingly dull dissertation on military bureaucracy sprinkled with the usual "I killd u with a railgun d00d!" idiocy that seems to creep into every thread here.

It's seems that Iceberg's outlined policy as SecNav is superior to your proposed one.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-04-21 10:22am

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:Hahaha, I wanted to get past this and eventually start discussing foreign policy, but I can already forsee this thread's entire lifespan. It's going to be "You can't build the BBXDD! I said no!" "Well I killed you!" "No you didn't!" for another week or two, and then it'll peter out. Too bad. It could have been an interesting sort of roleplayed political discussion. Instead it's an increasingly dull dissertation on military bureaucracy sprinkled with the usual "I killd u with a railgun d00d!" idiocy that seems to creep into every thread here.

You're one to talk, Mr. "ok if im d3ad then teh nvay dies whti m3!!!1!11!!"

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-04-21 12:15pm

phongn wrote:
Coyote wrote:That said, we must also look to the Air Force. All ground-attack roles (ie, A-10s and similar systems) will now belong to the Army. The USAF hates them anyway. And disposable long-range drone bombers! Oh, wait... those are MIRVs...nevermind...
Fuck you, Key West remains in force!

Take this man's body doubles out and have them shot. Oh, and burn down his doghouse, too. Put tacks in his driveway and small rocks in his lawn! Bwahahahahaaaa!

The USAF may keep SOME A-10s so they can learn how real air-ground support is done, but we'll not hold our collective breath. Maybe the Marines can teach them. If the Marines don't turn all the flyboys into their bitches first. But if the USAF offers to help shave the Marine girls' backs they can broker a deal to at least use Vaseline.

Oh! Giant submarine carriers, that surface, open big deck panels, and disgorge AV-8 Harriers! Sneaky! Get to work on a prototype! (cackles maniacally).

And what about that foreign policy, anyway? I still say we annex Mexico-- except Chiapas. We'll threaten to give that to Guatemala if they don't behave.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-04-21 04:44pm

Coyote wrote:
phongn wrote:
Coyote wrote:That said, we must also look to the Air Force. All ground-attack roles (ie, A-10s and similar systems) will now belong to the Army. The USAF hates them anyway. And disposable long-range drone bombers! Oh, wait... those are MIRVs...nevermind...
Fuck you, Key West remains in force!
Take this man's body doubles out and have them shot. Oh, and burn down his doghouse, too. Put tacks in his driveway and small rocks in his lawn! Bwahahahahaaaa!

The USAF may keep SOME A-10s so they can learn how real air-ground support is done, but we'll not hold our collective breath. Maybe the Marines can teach them. If the Marines don't turn all the flyboys into their bitches first. But if the USAF offers to help shave the Marine girls' backs they can broker a deal to at least use Vaseline.

Oh! Giant submarine carriers, that surface, open big deck panels, and disgorge AV-8 Harriers! Sneaky! Get to work on a prototype! (cackles maniacally).

And what about that foreign policy, anyway? I still say we annex Mexico-- except Chiapas. We'll threaten to give that to Guatemala if they don't behave.

Oh my God, he's flipped.

*starts to make contingency plans in case SecDef seriously goes off the deep end*

Post by **Steve** » 2003-04-21 08:47pm

*sigh*

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-04-21 09:11pm

Steve wrote:*sigh*

You expected anything less from SDnet?

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2003-04-21 09:31pm

You're one to talk, Mr. "ok if im d3ad then teh nvay dies whti m3!!!1!11!!"

And I could just as easily keep screaming that I'm really alive, and had just put a mini-nuke up your ass, but at some point it gets rather tiresome.

It's seems that Iceberg's outlined policy as SecNav is superior to your proposed one.

If you say so, but so what? These "policy discussions" have been going on for a bloody week now. I figured we'd outline what sort of units we had to play with, and then move on to discussing whose ass was going to be kicked. I sort of tried to move it along that way, mentioning propaganda and strategies for attacking Saudi Arabia, but it's been days and I'm still reading arguments over whether or not the navy needs another eight destroyers. This is a promising thread turned eye-clawingly tedious.

Three suggestions for Marina: 1 - Anyone hinting at violence against another member of the administration is removed from power at once. 2 - Set a deadline for this construction policy business. 3 - Move on to something else. Otherwise all you'll ever get will be "It's the F-24 not the F-35 u butthole! *i shoots u with flmaethrower*"

Post by **Beowulf** » 2003-04-21 09:37pm

*puts duct tape over Prawn's mouth* Quiet you.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-21 09:38pm

Prawn, quit being an asswipe. So far you've behaved like Manji after a good round of technowank, so I suggest, Captain Crayfish, that you shut the fuck. Or have you forgotten you Imperial Sea Destroyers already?

And if the only further contribution you're going to make to this thread is to bitch about it, I'll remind you that the delete button does work.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-04-21 09:40pm

Coyote wrote:The USAF may keep SOME A-10s so they can learn how real air-ground support is done, but we'll not hold our collective breath. Maybe the Marines can teach them. If the Marines don't turn all the flyboys into their bitches first. But if the USAF offers to help shave the Marine girls' backs they can broker a deal to at least use Vaseline.

More seriously now, I would have no issue with the USMC training the USAF flyboys (and girls) how to properly do CAS. OTOH, it doesn't seem like the A-10 guys do so bad?

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2003-04-21 09:42pm

Incidentally, I have reappeared as the supreme leader of the new Brazilian dictatorship. (Or I'm my own twin brother, or a clone, or whatever floats your boat.) It's not as glamorous a country to run as the US or China, but I have several worthwhile lines of commercial, political, and military policy to pursue. Many of them benefit from, or even require, elements of stated US policy.

For now I will simply state that I have no intention of selling additional arms to your potential enemies in the Middle East. Of course, when it comes time for the US to rebuild some sort of native military over there, my affordable and rugged hardware should be kept in mind.

Also, if someone is reading this thread and still wants to participate, I suggest they pick a country of their own. Just do a wee bit of homework so that you have some idea what you're talking about, and don't do anything outrageously stupid like claim you're launching nukes at every country on earth, or you're likely to be ignored.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-04-21 09:47pm

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:If you say so, but so what? These "policy discussions" have been going on for a bloody week now.

What, did you expect all of the differences to be resolved so easily?

The basics for the USAF and USN are done, with some minor infighting over Key West for the USArmy and the USAF. Shep hasn't spoken much about the US Army, but I'm assuming that he wants to maintain the heavy forces while building up a light force (esp. with all those Strykers we have around) for quick reaction.

Those sixteen SL-7s that Ice is going to get operational will allow nearly two divisions to get moved over, along with the large procurement of airlift that I'm planning.

I figured we'd outline what sort of units we had to play with, and then move on to discussing whose ass was going to be kicked.

We've got our wish lists. President O'Leary can look over them at her leisure. As for who we're going to beat down, she has clearly stated that the Middle East is our current goal, especially with regard to Syria and Saudi Arabia.

If we really want to, I suppose we could get containment in, or let Iraq build itself up and get a working army in, then invade Saudi Arabia - saving certain Islamic sites for Iraqi (i.e. Muslim) conquest. Syria can then be dealt with.

The DPRK can be dealt with via containment, and indeed is the only real solution we have.

Canada remains the de facto 51st State. There is no need for invasion whatsoever.

Now, if you would stop being a prick, perhaps you would be taken more seriously.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-21 09:48pm

Prawn, stop the trolling. This your last warning.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-04-21 09:59pm

Prawn, quit dreaming and get back to work. There's cumstains that need cleaning and used condoms to be disposed of. You think the sets magically clean themselves between takes or something? We're filming in 10 minutes and since you couldn't keep a boner up on camera you might as well make yourself useful and clean the damn sets. Fuckin' incompetant (and impotent) jabroni...

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2003-04-22 01:25am

Stormbringer wrote:Prawn, stop the trolling. This your last warning.

LOL!

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-04-22 01:29am

*watches as the Marshalls escort Prawn to a re education center* dont worry the doctors will heal him of his problems

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-22 01:32am

phongn wrote:
Those sixteen SL-7s that Ice is going to get operational will allow nearly two divisions to get moved over, along with the large procurement of airlift that I'm planning.

I'd say go above sixteen, maybe to twenty, two shipments of 93% will leave a lot behind, though that is 93% of an older heavy division. The new Force XXI ones are slimmed down and would probably fit on eight ships with room to spare.

However being able to transport other heavy corps assets would be very useful. Once your done adding one or two corps artillery brigades, an air defense brigade and an armored cavalry regiment the loads are a lot larger. Though the steam driven SL-7s are expensive, and four extra ships won't haul all corps assets. Probably should just plan using the gas turbine Watsons for that.

Airlift helps, and can rush key stuff like PAC firing units to protect the unloading point. But its also needed to haul Medium Forces in, and support air operations along with building up supplies for everything.

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2003-04-22 01:52am

Meh, Marina hasn't bothered with this thread for a couple of days/pages now. It's pretty much jumped the shark unless the minutiae of military transportation gives you a boner. I had some odd ideas about Brazil starting a massive trade with the US in suddenly-legal drugs, and trying to sell the Chinese an operational aircraft carrier, but the hell with it. Zeus help us if Marina ever comes back and sends her military into battle. She'll drown in spam as her staff argues over who should manufacture the soldier's boots.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-22 01:59am

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:Meh

This thread never revolved around you or your stupid ideas. If you don't like it then SHUT UP AND LEAVE. Things would work far better without you.

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-04-22 01:22pm

phongn wrote:More seriously now, I would have no issue with the USMC training the USAF flyboys (and girls) how to properly do CAS. OTOH, it doesn't seem like the A-10 guys do so bad?

True, but the USAF, last I heard, had relegated all A-10s to Airn Nat'l Guard status. They hate doing air-ground support; they dig the dogfights, strategic dominance, and all that Buck Rogers stuff. And it is important, but so is air-ground support. In fact, all that is for nothing of our groundhogs can't make it to the target site and exploit the AF's works.

That's why I say that some fixed-wing tactical asets should be in the hands of the Army guys. They should train like Marine pilots-- a couple years as grunts so they know what it is that is needed of them. Mostly the Army could use active-duty A-10's and AV8's (the VERTOL/STOL is handy in areas where runways are nasty or nonexistant. Army does not need long-range fixed wings (beyond transports); short-legged tac-air on demand is better for their needs.

This in no way negates the needs of the choppers, there'll always be needs for Apache/Commanche helos. Longbow has capabilities that the planes do not, for example. But heavy ordinance, quickly delivered, should also be prioritized.

It just seems anachronistic (and petty) that the Marines get what they want (choppers and fixed wing) because their mission obviously demands it. But due to interservice rivalry, the Army is hobbled. Rivalry to build up competitive spirit is nice, but when it cuts into mission effectiveness to soothe egos then the entire force suffers.

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2003-04-22 08:20pm

The CIA believes that the Monroe Doctrine has not been implemented enough lately. We request that Madame President revoke the Executive Order banning assasinations.

We think our work in subverting the British government has come off excellently.

We also request a replacement for the U-2 and SR-71, as well as many more UAVs, both Hellfire carrying and recon variants.

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-04-23 12:58pm

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:Jeez! You're talking about federal government growth, here! I'd like to be remembered as a nice, Sulla-type dictator who tried to reign in excessive Populist practices.

Alright, let's be strict in doling out positions.

Rob, since you scared people away from intelligence jobs, you're now the National Security Advisor.

Well, having done a small fact-finding tour of Europe (Swiss chocolate tastes nice when licked off a young womans nipples - an important fact that made the whole tour worthwhile), I am now back in office. *picks up departmental reports* Madam Cuddles, who is your White House chief of Staff? Whomever it was (and I feel confident in refering to them in the past tense considering the inter-departmental bickering they allowed under thier breif tenure), I hope thier death is still an ongoing operation. UNtil a replacement is found I feel I should get the Various members of the Cabinet, heads of Agencies and the Joint Chiefs together for a team-building exercise.

Everyone files into the empty White House Press Room and takes a seat. Rob enters and moves upto the front of the room, tosses his jacket onto an empty chair then Sits on top of the Press Officers Podium. "Hi guys, and girls" waves to the Press Secretaries, "lets get this over with as quickly as possible. After all we have important work to do, acronyms to devise and people to kill." He leans forward slightly, his face losing all signs of geniality "The bickering stops now! I like messing around as much as anyone, but pointless dick measuring and infighting solves nothing and simply makes me unhappy. When I'm unhappy people suffer, you do not want to make me unhappy!" He looked around to make sure the message got through. "I trust I never have to raise this point again. You have a problem it gets solved fast, by either a Private message or an E-mail. Lets be constructive about getting this place run properly and with the minimum of fuss and bother."

Rob checked that admonishment off his mental list and then moved on to the next item "The President will no doubt start assigning specific tasks to each department and agency soon, in the mean time all of you that have not done so already will put forward proposals for your departments requirements, future tasking estimates and nay additional powers you might require in your job. If your not certain what your job entails, ask and find out. Lets start showing people what this adminstration can do when it puts its mind to it." He hopped down of the Podium and grabbed his coat, "Ok guy that it for now, get your wishlists and needs ready for the Presidents Yes/No and then lets concentrate on what Governments excel at - spending money!" With that he strode out the room leaving the others to sort things out between themselves - in the 5 minutes before the Press Corps returned.

Behind Rob, his Secret Service agent contacted the Ops Room, "Pervert proceeding to Oval Office."

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:Remember that in regard to the Middle East we are following this principle: Iraq is the Tactical Pivot, Saudi Arabia is the Strategic Pivot, and Egypt is the Prize.

You want Egypt? *takes out wallet* I've got £50 here and *digs around for change in pocket* about a fiver in shrapnel, so I can probably get it giftwrapped for you as well.

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-04-23 08:50pm

You want Egypt? *takes out wallet* I've got £50 here and *digs around for change in pocket* about a fiver in shrapnel, so I can probably get it giftwrapped for you as well.

"Yes that's right, a good ribbon, something in red and green, maybe some goldflecks." Rob cradled the phone to his ear, balanced precariously on his shoulder, as he stirred his tea with one hand and flipped through his appointment schedule with the other. "How much! Are you sure? So it would cost approximately 50,000,000 times as much to giftwrap Egypt as it would to buy it? Damn. I'll just tke one of those sticky bow things and slap it on the ex-head of states forehead then... oh maybe I can giftwrap him instead, how much would that cost?" The phone beeped repeatedly to the tune of 'The Asteriod Chase'. "I'll have to call you back, business call on the other line, can you get me a price for that? Thanks."

He hit the other line button with his spoon, and in the same movement sent it arcing into the wash basin in his offices ensuite bathroom "Hey Lurker, hows that recce of Egypt going?"

His most trusted aides voice was Crackly over the secure line "Quite well actually, I've claimed the place for us."

"You've what? How? You were only supposed to recce it to see whether I was going to be paying over the odds for it with £50." Rob shook his head, sometimes his aides enthusiam and sense of initiative were trying... still it meant he might not have to pay for the country afterall.

"Well I was going to do that, then I remembered I'd packed a flag, so I planted it and claimed it for us." Lurkers happiness at a job well done, practically jumping across the trans-Atlantic line.

"So how did the Natives take that then?" Rob asked, taking a sip of tea.

"Some bloody oik in a uniform came and told me to take it down as they had a flag of their own already" Came the indignant response.

Rob sighed, so much for saving aome money "What did you do after that?" he asked and took a larger sip of tea.

"Well I shot him of course, can't have the natives getting uppity, it's just not British!"

Robs tea sprayed across the office "You did what? Do you realise how much paperwork I'm going to have to fill out now? You can't just buy firearms in foriegn countries without permits, there'll be bureaucratic hell to pay!"

"That's ok, I used his rifle." Came the reply.

Rob calmed down, a paperwork nightmare averted "Jolly good then. Though you do realise that while we work for Cuddles, we're not technically British, don't you?"

"So what are we then? Is mercenary a country?"

"I don't think so. We're either O'learian's or Cuddlians, possibly American's but I don't think so, I'll ask Her later." Rob cleaned up some of the sprayed tea, the extension cord on his phone streching as he moved. "So you sorted out Egypt and secured the Suez canal then?"

A slight pause, then "Suez Canal?"

"Yes Lurker the Suez Canal, huge great waterway connecting the Red Sea to the Med. You can't miss it, it's the only manmade waterway in the area that can transport an Aircraft carrier, slightly larger than a stream and not as full of Crocs as the Nile."

"Um" Lurker's enthusiasm was now noticably waining, "So not the Sewage Canal then?"

"No Lurker, not the sewage canal. Infact you'd be hard pressed to find anything called a Sewage canal outside of Venice, and the last time I checked, Italy wasn't part of Egypt." Rob was now exasperated, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"So my setting up an armed Marine guard around the Cairo Sewage treatment plant, wasn't what you had in mind then?"

"Strangely enough, no. In fact what I had in mind was for you to go to Egypt and price it up for me to buy as a gift for Cuddles, then you were to take some of the Embassy Marines to secure the Suez canal so that the locals couldn't vandalise it before sale. Instead you now tell me we have highly-trained Marines guarding - the local Shit Farm!" The last shouted down the line nearly deafening his aide. "Get them to the Suez canal now! And while you're at it grab the local ex-head of State and have him Fed-exed over here so I can giftwrap him for presentation to Cuddles." With preternatural timing the phone started to beep the Imperial March, "Speaking of whom, I have to take this call, Don't fuck this up Lurker or I'll need a new Most-trusted Aide to handle your burial."

Rob pressed the flashing line button. "Good news your Excellency..."

Post by **Beowulf** » 2003-04-23 09:01pm

The only person who can be considered "Most Trusted Aide" has to be dead. The next person in line would be your "Trusted Aide".