Farting.

Companion Cube · Post by **Companion Cube** » 2003-04-23 07:45am

Col. Crackpot wrote:there was a guy i knew at URI who would take pride in his ability to...erm...light the eternal flame. he did it right through hi pants too. well once it got too hot i guess and he must have singed his balls or something but he ended up jumping of of his chair and slapping himself in the furiously in the crotch.

Ouch.

Personally, I don't find it tremendously funny...(Farting, not your friend lighting himself

)

Dodge · Post by **Dodge** » 2003-04-23 08:06am

Oh, it's funny all right.

Boba, I wasn't being serious when I said I was mortified (more like I was laughing uncontrollably) - most of the boys were laughing as well, with the Masters frowning at them. My Mum gave it all away by slapping me.

The other night, my wife and I had been eating a curry and we were gently trumpeting away for most of the evening, while watching TV. Hours later, she must have dozed off and I kept the gas coming while watching video movies. Then I went out of the room for a beer and when I went back in, the stench hit me...

She left the room herself later, and when she came back in, she was retching. I had thought the atmosphere was getting a little fruity but it was creeping gradualism and only by leaving the room and getting some fresh air could one truly experience the "aroma"...

mantakai · Post by **mantakai** » 2003-04-23 09:00am

hehehe call it what you will, childish, stupid, disgusting, but it's still humourous in a simple minded way

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-04-23 12:03pm

Qui a coupé le fromage?

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2003-04-23 12:34pm

It's even worse when you unload in a packed car with closed windows. Only evil and sadistic bastards have the balls to do that. Nobody deserves that kind of pain and punishment.

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-04-23 12:53pm

No, what's evil, is when you unload in a packed car with the windows up, but the kicker is, your the driver and you have the power windows LOCKED!

Take this Dad!

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2003-04-23 01:33pm

Cal Wright wrote:No, what's evil, is when you unload in a packed car with the windows up, but the kicker is, your the driver and you have the power windows LOCKED! Take this Dad!

Jesus. That is just downright mean.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-04-23 03:16pm

I enjoy a nice, solid fart every now and then, but usually only when I'm alone.

Apparently one time at my aunt's house my cousin was sitting on the floor and let out a fart so powerful it made the floor shake, causing my other cousins and my brother to run upstairs to see what the hell happened...

That being said, I think farts are hilarious and I don't give a damn if it's childish. A little immaturity is healthy for ya.

"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-04-23 03:27pm

Farting is hilarious.

Now I'm not a farter, I am a belcher, I belch in midsentence and keep right on talking. I don't seem to have the need to fart. However I have been assured by several girlfriends that this inability to fart is lifted when I sleep and I have let some really nice ones rip.

There is one farting story that I will never forget. I was pretty young watching a movie with my mom. I'm on the sofa laying about and translating a movie for her into spanish. Well at one point there's a joke that for the life of me I can't remember but I started laughing really hard and suddenly I start cutting loose with gas in time with my guffaws.

My mom is disgustred and starts cursing in Spanish about how gross I am and this only gets me laughing harder, the gas coming out like a machine gun fire in time with my laughs. Well at one point I roll right off the sofa and land face first on the floor, ass up in the air and I let loose a LONG LOUD one as a finishing touch. My laughter now almost hysterical my farts slowly peter out...again in time with my chortles of glee. I was like 10 or 11 but its an experience that my mom still brings up every now and then.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-04-23 04:30pm

I used to date a woman who suffered from Chromes disease. Her miedication caused her to suffer from wind, in both directions. One time we were at the cinema, watching Shallow Hal IIRC, and half way through the movie she let lose a ripper. The entire place went quiet and everyone started looking at her they even stoped the movie. I did the manly thing, i stood and said "excuse my rudeness".

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-04-23 05:03pm

irishmick79 wrote:It's even worse when you unload in a packed car with closed windows. Only evil and sadistic bastards have the balls to do that. Nobody deserves that kind of pain and punishment.

*raises hand slowly. looks around* Car trip. Family vacation. It made its way around the car from one person to the next. Somehow I was the last to actually smell it and by that time I was in tears of laughter from everyone else being hit one by one, screatching and opening windows.

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-23 05:11pm

No, what's evil, is when you unload in a packed car with the windows up, but the kicker is, your the driver and you have the power windows LOCKED!

i swear Cal..if you ever try that with me in the car, i'm gonna kick your damn window out.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-04-23 05:12pm

Darth Pounder wrote:I used to date a woman who suffered from Chromes disease. Her miedication caused her to suffer from wind, in both directions. One time we were at the cinema, watching Shallow Hal IIRC, and half way through the movie she let lose a ripper. The entire place went quiet and everyone started looking at her they even stoped the movie. I did the manly thing, i stood and said "excuse my rudeness".

I am in AWE of your chivalry, Darth Pounder. Well done. *applauds*

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-04-23 05:30pm

There are times where a well-placed fart is funny, or sadistic, but overall, I'm really not into farting. Also, it gives people character. A slob just isn't a slob if they don't fart every ten seconds.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-04-23 06:34pm

Sometimes farts just aren't especially, well, you know, clean. That horrid bubbly fart must be the worst. It's really just shitting your pants, now isn't it.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-04-23 08:04pm

Farts are definately childish, if they are treated as accomplishments by the person who farted.

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-04-23 08:25pm

I have to deal with friends who do the farting and window locking, and fart contests, and invading my privacy to enter my room and just start farting up a storm, and farting in front of new friends of mine, and farting in front of female friends of mine, and farting in public places when im out with them..... i hate it

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-04-23 09:05pm

I think the whole "joy of farting" is derived from the simple, illicit pleasure to be had in "breaking the rules" in a manner that is at once obnoxiously blatant, thoroughly offensive to those around you, yet completely unpunishable.

I have had occasion to find myself in catholic churches in my younger days, often quite contrary to my personal plans. It was during those times that I took extreme satisfaction from "singing God's praises through my second voice", as it were. The looks of shock, disgust, and -- (on at least one occasion) fright -- made the tedium well worth the while.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-04-23 09:16pm

Stravo wrote:Farting is hilarious.

Now I'm not a farter, I am a belcher, I belch in midsentence and keep right on talking. I don't seem to have the need to fart. However I have been assured by several girlfriends that this inability to fart is lifted when I sleep and I have let some really nice ones rip.

There is one farting story that I will never forget. I was pretty young watching a movie with my mom. I'm on the sofa laying about and translating a movie for her into spanish. Well at one point there's a joke that for the life of me I can't remember but I started laughing really hard and suddenly I start cutting loose with gas in time with my guffaws.

My mom is disgustred and starts cursing in Spanish about how gross I am and this only gets me laughing harder, the gas coming out like a machine gun fire in time with my laughs. Well at one point I roll right off the sofa and land face first on the floor, ass up in the air and I let loose a LONG LOUD one as a finishing touch. My laughter now almost hysterical my farts slowly peter out...again in time with my chortles of glee. I was like 10 or 11 but its an experience that my mom still brings up every now and then.

Okay, I guess my theory is shot to shit, now. Stravo, you have no idea how many tries it took me to get through that post. By the time I actually reached the end of it, my eyes were watering, I was shaking my mouse in the air with one hand and holding my sides with the other. As it is, I can still barely type. I have one question for you, man...

Did your parents keep the couch?

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-04-23 09:29pm

Frank Hipper wrote:Sometimes farts just aren't especially, well, you know, clean. That horrid bubbly fart must be the worst. It's really just shitting your pants, now isn't it.

My friends and I call those "Streakers".

Im turning 32 later this week, Ive noticed that farting is not the hilarous excercise it was in my teens and twenties. But it is still funny in the right circumstances.

Its fun to watch your friends all go "DAMN! As they gyrate trying to escape the unescapable."

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-04-23 09:35pm

Sometime farts arrive at the right time, like when some immature twit is bugging you, you don`t say a word just let it go in his face that`ll shut him up and he`ll leave.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-04-23 10:40pm

Also, is it true that if you put a lighter near your butt and let out a really big fart, it will create a fireball?

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-04-23 10:44pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Also, is it true that if you put a lighter near your butt and let out a really big fart, it will create a fireball?

I think that depends on who's holding the lighter. Or maybe I'm just extra talented...

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-04-23 10:45pm

ANyone noticed that only guys have posted in this thread?

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2003-04-23 10:53pm

Gandalf wrote:ANyone noticed that only guys have posted in this thread?

**pffft**

Yup!