ST vs SW humor rebuttal

[thecreech]

A Star Wars Vs. Star Trek Rebuttal
by t_clancy@yahoo.com


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I am replying to the humor 10 ways the Star Wars universe would squash Star Trek. Well, I feel that someone has to stand up to this.
So I included the 10 ways, and the the 10 responses.
10) In the Star Wars Universe weapons are rarely, if ever, set on "stun".

REBUTTAL: But have you ever seen a phaser or Disrupter on MAXIMUM?

9) The Enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp --- The Millennium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie.

REBUTTAL: The Enterprise is a masive thing . . . and if Hans wants to stroke his Wookie, that's his own business

After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess Leia still looked fresh and desirable --- After pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looked like hell.

REBUTTAL: But then again, Picard is in his 60's

7) One word: Lightsabers.

REBUTTAL: You have to be in close quarters to use a lightsaber . . . use a phaser rifle, drop the bastard 20 yards away.

6) Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.

REBUTTAL: Infinite Velocity - you can't choke us if you can't catch us - plus, i don't believe that statement at all.

5) The Death Star doesn't care if a world is class "M" or not.

REBUTTAL: Death Star doesn't send landing parties - Enterprise could wreek havok on any planet it chose

4) Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.

REBUTTAL: Neither is Kirk, it's just a by-product of fighting for his crew everyweek.

3) Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.

REBUTTAL: Jabba wouldn't be able to cath Mudd.

2) The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named "Slave I".

REBUTTAL: prime Directive - we'd just leave it alone

1) Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power --- Han Solo floors it.

REBUTTAL: the Enterprise is massive, it takes time. The Enterprise could destroy the Millineum falcon in a heartbeat.

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I can't believe he actually tries to rebutt this, and he doesn't even do a good job

[Sea Skimmer]

Pretty pitiful

[Master of Ossus]

Every single one of his points is easily rebutted, except for the one about him being gay and wanting Picard if Picard was the same age as Leia. Personnally, I am not even remotely attracted to Captain Picard. And my fiancee says that he is an ugly bastard. She didn't even think JABBA was that disgusting, but she hated Picard's looks. That and the fact he kept tucking his shirt in every other second.

[Darth Yoshi]

Note he provides zero evidence.

[Alferd Packer]

I don't get it. Who's rebutting whom?

[Cpt_Frank]

I find the lightsaber rebuttal disturbing.
But this one's the top-of-the-line stinker:

1) Picard pilots the Enterprise through asteroid belts at one-quarter impulse power --- Han Solo floors it.

REBUTTAL: the Enterprise is massive, it takes time. The Enterprise could destroy the Millineum falcon in a heartbeat.

Considering how many hits the MF took, this is simply a lie.
Someone find out the location of this moron so I can shell it with my 12" guns.

[CJvR]

7) One word: Lightsabers.

REBUTTAL: You have to be in close quarters to use a lightsaber . . . use a phaser rifle, drop the bastard 20 yards away.

LOL! Perhaps the Klingoffs should try that...

I would love to see the Jedi educate them that growling and charging your enemy with edged weapons is perhaps not a wise tactic.

[RadiO]

I am replying to the humor 10 ways the Star Wars universe would squash Star Trek. Well, I feel that someone has to stand up to this.

Never good when somebody "has" to stand up for something but does it in such a half-arsed way.

[Kamakazie Sith]

Every single one of his points is easily rebutted, except for the one about him being gay and wanting Picard if Picard was the same age as Leia. Personnally, I am not even remotely attracted to Captain Picard. And my fiancee says that he is an ugly bastard. She didn't even think JABBA was that disgusting, but she hated Picard's looks. That and the fact he kept tucking his shirt in every other second.

No offense but the fact that she finds Jabba more attractive then Picard brings up many questions

[Darth Wong]

Hey, "theheap": if you're going to write a "rebuttal" for an obviously humourous piece and not make yourself seem like a sad, no-life loser, here's a hint: make the rebuttal humourous as well.

The fact that you tried to write a non-humourous rebuttal to a humourous piece indicates that either A) you have no sense of humour or B) you're a knee-jerk Trekkie who can't stand to see anyone poke fun at his baby.

[TheDarkling]

Ermm Wong maybe you should read his post again and then apologise, not that I expect you too.

Speaking of knee Jerk reactions

[Cpt_Frank]

If I understood the heap right it wasn't him who wrote that but the guy who has that email adress.

[Darth Wong]

Ermm Wong maybe you should read his post again and then apologise, not that I expect you too.

Speaking of knee Jerk reactions

Ahh, blow me. The fact that he thought it was worth posting (in a whole new thread, no less) is still bad enough.

[Master of Ossus]

Every single one of his points is easily rebutted, except for the one about him being gay and wanting Picard if Picard was the same age as Leia. Personnally, I am not even remotely attracted to Captain Picard. And my fiancee says that he is an ugly bastard. She didn't even think JABBA was that disgusting, but she hated Picard's looks. That and the fact he kept tucking his shirt in every other second.

No offense but the fact that she finds Jabba more attractive then Picard brings up many questions

No offense taken. She and I had an interesting discussion on the topic a while ago. I think she's just pissed at Picard for screwing over the feeling that TOS had.

[TheDarkling]

Ermm Wong maybe you should read his post again and then apologise, not that I expect you too.

Speaking of knee Jerk reactions

Ahh, blow me. The fact that he thought it was worth posting (in a whole new thread, no less) is still bad enough.

I agree with that but I just didnt comment because I dont see the point.

[thecreech]

Hey, "theheap": if you're going to write a "rebuttal" for an obviously humourous piece and not make yourself seem like a sad, no-life loser, here's a hint: make the rebuttal humourous as well.

The fact that you tried to write a non-humourous rebuttal to a humourous piece indicates that either A) you have no sense of humour or B) you're a knee-jerk Trekkie who can't stand to see anyone poke fun at his baby.

First off i didn't write the "rebuttal", i found it on an old forum and posted it here because i thought it was funny. Second, my actual post is on the bottom of that if you bothered to read the whole thing

[Kamakazie Sith]

Every single one of his points is easily rebutted, except for the one about him being gay and wanting Picard if Picard was the same age as Leia. Personnally, I am not even remotely attracted to Captain Picard. And my fiancee says that he is an ugly bastard. She didn't even think JABBA was that disgusting, but she hated Picard's looks. That and the fact he kept tucking his shirt in every other second.

No offense but the fact that she finds Jabba more attractive then Picard brings up many questions

No offense taken. She and I had an interesting discussion on the topic a while ago. I think she's just pissed at Picard for screwing over the feeling that TOS had.

I completely understand then........