Funniest Creationist Arguement Ever!

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2002-09-04 07:43pm

Prepare to drop dead laughing at this one. The arguement is this:

Dolphins exhibit superior animal intelligence. Darwinian evolution claims life forms began in the ocean and more advanced forms evolved from ocean to land. The dolphin has high intelligence but resides in the ocean.

What do you all think?

And no I am not making this one up, here is the link: http://www.creationposter.com/sdm.asp?p ... cific=life

Admiral Drason · Post by **Admiral Drason** » 2002-09-04 07:49pm

but animals on land evolved hands so we were able to develop inteligence. think what in the hell could a dolphine do with those flippers. NOTHING

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-09-04 07:54pm

But.... Dolphins and whales evolved from frikkin land animals, moron! Even if your grossly inaccurate conception of evolution were true, you would STILL be wrong.

Thanks for bringing that to my attention, Wicked Pilot.

Datana · Post by **Datana** » 2002-09-04 08:46pm

Master of Ossus wrote:But.... Dolphins and whales evolved from frikkin land animals, moron!

Unfortunately, that's still something that many creationists deny, usually demanding "proof" of a lineage (despite abundant fossil evidence) and attacking a strawman of Darwin's "swimming bears" theory. Ignorance makes for a nearly impenetrable armour.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2002-09-04 09:01pm

I also like how he says that more chromosomes in things like Ferns rule out the possibility of evolution. But seriously, this is one of the stupider creationists. I like Mike Wong's one that told him that because apes still exist it must mean that evolution is wrong.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2002-09-04 09:10pm

Datana wrote:
Master of Ossus wrote:But.... Dolphins and whales evolved from frikkin land animals, moron!
Unfortunately, that's still something that many creationists deny, usually demanding "proof" of a lineage (despite abundant fossil evidence) and attacking a strawman of Darwin's "swimming bears" theory. Ignorance makes for a nearly impenetrable armour.

Thus, we must beat down this defence with the Baseball bat of Recognition. Or maybe a Railgun of Recognition. Whichever's messier.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2002-09-04 09:18pm

Singuler Quartet wrote:
Datana wrote:
Master of Ossus wrote:But.... Dolphins and whales evolved from frikkin land animals, moron!
Unfortunately, that's still something that many creationists deny, usually demanding "proof" of a lineage (despite abundant fossil evidence) and attacking a strawman of Darwin's "swimming bears" theory. Ignorance makes for a nearly impenetrable armour.
Thus, we must beat down this defence with the Baseball bat of Recognition. Or maybe a Railgun of Recognition. Whichever's messier.

Railguns are cool, espcially the one at Anzio, I think Anzio Annie?

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-09-04 10:02pm

Nah, we need something more powerful than a railgun. Perhaps those impossible guns that wouldn't be possible from "Eraser"?

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-09-04 10:14pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Nah, we need something more powerful than a railgun. Perhaps those impossible guns that wouldn't be possible from "Eraser"?

Those WERE railguns.

Rhadamanthus · Post by **Rhadamanthus** » 2002-09-05 01:01pm

Gah, it gets worse, I was particularly amused by his evolutionary timeline

Dinosaurs allegedly disappear suddenly (according to the evolutionists) in a catastrophic event. In reality most dinosaurs were killed in the worldwide flood about 4400 years ago, but some did survive on the ark. Dinosaurs have been sighted and recorded throughout history and are even seen today in some areas (very seldom).

Though...I'm not sure if I should laugh at his stupidity, or cry because he is so stupid....

EDIT: Aughh...I should not have kept reading, damn my masochism.

Did you know that the fact that Pluto hasn't flown out of the solar system is evidence that the universe must be young?

Apparently the concept of "orbit" is alien to creationists, since Pluto is moving away from the sun at this point they seem to think that means it is on its way into inter-stellar space

And then he can't seem to decide if he wants to prove a Young Earth or disprove Evolution. He talks about how a 7,000,000 year old skull supposedly shatters the theory of evolution.....but isn't that kind of damning for the young earth theory as well?

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-09-05 02:10pm

I'm used to constructing long-winded posts for Creationists. But I've said this before, and it's much more rewarding and elegant in its simplicity:

"HA! ANCIENT NINJA FIST-TO-NUTS STYLE!"

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-09-05 08:29pm

Lagmonster wrote:I'm used to constructing long-winded posts for Creationists. But I've said this before, and it's much more rewarding and elegant in its simplicity:

"HA! ANCIENT NINJA FIST-TO-NUTS STYLE!"

I really don't think the creationists have nuts...

CorSec · Post by **CorSec** » 2002-09-05 08:42pm

Well, they are nuts - does that count?

(Terrible Mental Picture: If you are what you eat, and they are nuts; then...

)

Evil Jerk · Post by **Evil Jerk** » 2002-09-05 08:46pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Lagmonster wrote:I'm used to constructing long-winded posts for Creationists. But I've said this before, and it's much more rewarding and elegant in its simplicity:

"HA! ANCIENT NINJA FIST-TO-NUTS STYLE!"
I really don't think the creationists have nuts...

Then how do they breed so fast.. oh yes, they spread their brain disease into the minds of impressionable children.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-09-05 08:52pm

Evil Jerk wrote:I really don't think the creationists have nuts...
Then how do they breed so fast.. oh yes, they spread their brain disease into the minds of impressionable children.

Actually, they hatch a specialized creature which clamps onto your face. A tentacle deposits an egg into your chest cavity, where it slowly gestates and grows. You feel an irresistible hunger when you wake up, but a few days later, you writhe in agonizing pain as the creature tears itself free and bursts out of your chest. With your dying breath, you see the chest-burster scurrying away with a Bible in his hand, ready to join the fundamentalist horde.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2002-09-05 09:09pm

Actually, they hatch a specialized creature which clamps onto your face. A tentacle deposits an egg into your chest cavity, where it slowly gestates and grows. You feel an irresistible hunger when you wake up, but a few days later, you writhe in agonizing pain as the creature tears itself free and bursts out of your chest. With your dying breath, you see the chest-burster scurrying away with a Bible in his hand, ready to join the fundamentalist horde.

I saw that happen to a Jehovah's Witness once. Worst Heartburn Ever.

Post by **Lagmonster** » 2002-09-06 08:28am

Darth Wong wrote:Actually, they hatch a specialized creature which clamps onto your face. A tentacle deposits an egg into your chest cavity, where it slowly gestates and grows. You feel an irresistible hunger when you wake up, but a few days later, you writhe in agonizing pain as the creature tears itself free and bursts out of your chest. With your dying breath, you see the chest-burster scurrying away with a Bible in his hand, ready to join the fundamentalist horde.

Seems like an excellent time to squeeze in an MST3K reference: "...and then I slam my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest! (chuckling) But I'm not an alien!"