Boy-related: Gah! SO CONFUSED!!!!!!

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-04-25 03:26pm

You've got him. Now just reel him in.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-25 05:14pm

Zaia wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:he stayed up for you?

-notes he always did that when he liked a femme-

Well, he was staying up anyway, to continue working on his piece, but he was almost definitely waiting for me to get online, since I signed in and 2 seconds later, he said hi. So I can't say that he stayed up for me, exactly...

yeah, that was my excuse too. hehehe. sleep is more important then work - girls are more important then sleep.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-25 05:15pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:
Zaia wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:he stayed up for you?

-notes he always did that when he liked a femme-

Well, he was staying up anyway, to continue working on his piece, but he was almost definitely waiting for me to get online, since I signed in and 2 seconds later, he said hi. So I can't say that he stayed up for me, exactly...
yeah, that was my excuse too. hehehe. sleep is more important then work - girls are more important then sleep.

Like I said, she's being modest.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-25 05:16pm

this is fun, stalking the wild male.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-25 05:18pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:this is fun, stalking the wild male.

For some reason, when you said that I thought about the croc guy hiding behind a tree and talking about this guy....

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-04-25 10:25pm

Sorry for being so late into this thread Zaia, work and stuff

, Look you have this meeting planned and like everyone says; you have to treat us men like the uncomplicated, thick beings we are. The longer you wait, the more likely he is to think he's wrong and that you want to be just friends.

Rejection can hurt, but you need to know and if you let him slip away without ever asking him, you'll beat yourself up about it forever afterwards. You don't have to be some great orator or romantic lead in a film, just say "Brian, I really like you and I'd like to be more than just a friend. Do you feel the same way about me?" Or if you have the time ask Jmac what she said to Aerius, either way find out how he see's your relationship and take it from there.

This is something men go through all the time, we get crushed, we have women laugh and say "You? Why the hell would I want to date you?", we get our hearts torn up 95% of the time whenever we screw up the courage to ask a woman out - but that pales in comparison to the 5% of the time they say yes. And frankly it's not good for you to have a friendship with someone and not being honest with them as to how you feel.

Put yourself in Brians shoes, if a friend came to you and said "Look, we've known each other a while and, well as much as I enjoy being friends with you... I, I think we could be more." How would you react? Even if you didn't think you could be more than friends, would you crush them? Would you let them down hard? Would you treat them in a way you're afraid Brian might if you tell him? No of course you won't, and if he's your friend he won't either. If he doesn't see things the way you do, he'll still try to help you through it (he might not be any good at it, but he will try), and make things as easy as possible for you to get over him - or maybe it's something he hadn't thought about and with the seed planted he might just go for it.

He's your friend, regardless of your feelings towards him. He might be taken aback (we guys can be totally clueless as to how women feel about us) but he won't willingly or knowingly hurt you. And if he did, would you want to have a relationship with him?

Fight back any fear or doubts, take a calm breathe and tell him, you owe it to yourself, and if you are really his friend, you owe it to him as well.

Of course he could say yes, and start blurting out how happy he is you feel the same way, that he was worried he was getting things wrong, that he thought you didn't think the way he did about it, etc.

Either way, let us know how it goes.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-04-25 11:26pm

Rob Wilson wrote:we get our hearts torn up 95% of the time whenever we screw up the courage to ask a woman out

Problem is, Rob, is that this sentence isn't only applicable to men; I've got a similar track record with guys, so I'm just as nervous, skittery, shy--whatever you want to call it--as Brian is (potentially--maybe he just doesn't feel that way and that's why he hasn't made a move).

Anyway, I realize logically that talking about the 'what-if's' here does me no good and that I need to just talk to him, but I swear what's going to happen is that I'm going to come here, read through all the positive stuff you guys as a whole have said, and then go talk to him right after, so I'm still on my high, feeling good about myself when I tell him.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-25 11:34pm

of course, such a charming and lovely person as yourself scarecely needs to read this thread

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-04-25 11:36pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:of course, such a charming and lovely person as yourself scarecely needs to read this thread

*barf*

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-25 11:39pm

-snif- I swear, I dont even know why I try anymore.

=p

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-25 11:43pm

Enforcer Talen wrote:-snif- I swear, I dont even know why I try anymore.

=p

*Pats Talen on the shoulder* Yeah, we all feel like that at one point or another.

Bye the way Zaia, you're week is running out.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-25 11:45pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:-snif- I swear, I dont even know why I try anymore.

=p
*Pats Talen on the shoulder* Yeah, we all feel like that at one point or another.

Bye the way Zaia, you're week is running out.

-sob-

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-04-25 11:48pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:-snif- I swear, I dont even know why I try anymore.

=p
*Pats Talen on the shoulder* Yeah, we all feel like that at one point or another.

Hey, I was kidding! That's what the wink and the smile were for! *kisses Talen's cheek* Sheesh...can't even make a joke anymore without someone gettin' huffy....

Bye the way Zaia, you're week is running out.

Eeek! Cy, don't freak me out even more! I'm already stressing because I still haven't heard back from him about tomorrow night, and I invited like four of my other friends and none of them have answered me either, so I'm feeling all kinds of unloved and ignored tonight...

*takes deep breath* It's probably just that I've had a long, stressful week and that I'm taking things a little personally when I shouldn't, but..but....yeah. I was doing ok until you told me to hurry.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-25 11:50pm

bwhaha. . .my evil plan to get kisses from zaia continues to work. .

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-25 11:58pm

Zaia wrote:
Captain_Cyran wrote:
Bye the way Zaia, you're week is running out. [/i]
Eeek! Cy, don't freak me out even more! I'm already stressing because I still haven't heard back from him about tomorrow night, and I invited like four of my other friends and none of them have answered me either, so I'm feeling all kinds of unloved and ignored tonight...

*takes deep breath* It's probably just that I've had a long, stressful week and that I'm taking things a little personally when I shouldn't, but..but....yeah. I was doing ok until you told me to hurry.

Aw, I'm sorry Zaia. *Hugs her* I'm kidding you, take as long as you need.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-04-26 02:24am

Captain_Cyran wrote:
Enforcer Talen wrote:this is fun, stalking the wild male.
For some reason, when you said that I thought about the croc guy hiding behind a tree and talking about this guy....

"Oi, this one's a beauty. They're skittery creatures though, so I'm gonna carefully sneak up behind him, and jam my thumb up his butthole..."

Good luck, Zaia. It sounds like he's pretty much yours at this point, so be brave and take the next step.

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-26 04:40am

"Oi, this one's a beauty. They're skittery creatures though, so I'm gonna carefully sneak up behind him, and jam my thumb up his butthole..."

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-04-26 04:41am

Stampede wrote:

I take it you've never seen that episode of South Park?

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-26 04:43am

i have...LoL

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-26 04:46am

between what you and Cyran wrote...i pictured the croc guy comming out from behind the tree going after the guy with his thumb ready for jamming.

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-26 04:47am

ooops. i accidentally did a double post. so this is me editing my second post that was like the post right above it.

Unless one of the mods wanna delete this one for me....

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-04-26 06:06am

Zaia wrote:
Rob Wilson wrote:we get our hearts torn up 95% of the time whenever we screw up the courage to ask a woman out
Problem is, Rob, is that this sentence isn't only applicable to men; I've got a similar track record with guys, so I'm just as nervous, skittery, shy--whatever you want to call it--as Brian is (potentially--maybe he just doesn't feel that way and that's why he hasn't made a move).

Then you know that the sooner you ask, the sooner it's over with and you can both move on to whatever happens next.

Zaia wrote:Anyway, I realize logically that talking about the 'what-if's' here does me no good and that I need to just talk to him, but I swear what's going to happen is that I'm going to come here, read through all the positive stuff you guys as a whole have said, and then go talk to him right after, so I'm still on my high, feeling good about myself when I tell him.

It's always nice to have a cheerleading squad.

However we won't be there tonight and all the encouragement we can give you will just evaporate once you're with Brian and the doubts start racing through your head. The only person that can give you meaningful encouragement is yourself and the only way you'll get that is by knowing you have to do it. Hence the lack of "Ra-ra go Zaia" from me, it's great for you to read while you're at the computer, but its entirely temporary and not much use when your actually talking to brian face to face.

Tonight you need to screw up your courage, talk to Brian about where things are going and then, when you tell us how well it went we can fulfill our role of cheerleaders.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-04-27 10:59am

So:

1) the lacrosse game last night was a lot of fun. We won, 17-9. Bwahahah!

2) Brian did come out to meet a bunch of my friends, including two of my best friends in the entire world (yay!).
3) we had a lot of fun, flirted a fair amount (at least I'd consider it flirting), and I remembered again how much I had missed him.
4) because we were in a big group, I didn't tell him how I feel. But I'm going to...hopefully later today.

I have practice tonight, and usually what happens is he and I leave at the same time and walk to our cars together. If that happens again tonight, if there are no students around, and if I'm feeling good about myself and the situation (good vibes from him, etc.), I'm just going to blurt out that I like him a hell of a lot (I think telling him I'm in love with him might freak him out if he doesn't reciprocate, and I can always tell him I'm in love with him later). So.....we shall see. Hopefully I'll have the courage and just say it and think about it later.

That's the plan.

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2003-04-27 12:14pm

Good luck getting it out, hopefully it goes well. From what you have said so far about him I am sure it will.

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-04-27 12:15pm

Zaia wrote: I have practice tonight, and usually what happens is he and I leave at the same time and walk to our cars together. If that happens again tonight, if there are no students around, and if I'm feeling good about myself and the situation (good vibes from him, etc.), I'm just going to blurt out that I like him a hell of a lot (I think telling him I'm in love with him might freak him out if he doesn't reciprocate, and I can always tell him I'm in love with him later). So.....we shall see. Hopefully I'll have the courage and just say it and think about it later.

That's the plan.

OK, but hang the circumstances, all you have to say to the guy is that you want to talk to him in private and it won't matter who else is there or where you are as he'll help you find somewhere quiet.
If you let the setting/crowd/timing/etc stop you, it'll get easier and easier to put it off for almost anything and that doesn't help you in the long run. The more you put it off the harder it'll be, you have to force it to happen. It's good that you have practice so can meet him there, but if you wait for the 'perfect' moment to talk to him, something will always come up, so how about prepping him "Hey Brian, after Practice tonight can I talk to you in Private?" If he asks what it's about you can either tell him then (once you've secured some privacy) or if time is against you tell him it's personal and you'd rather you both had the time and privacy to talk about it properly. This way even if you lose your courage, he'll still want to talk about whatever it is, so you have to get it over with.

Whatever you choose to do, I hope it goes great for you tonight.