Impress the Girls....

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2003-04-27 01:38am

Become An Imperial Stormtrooper!!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-04-27 01:42am

I think you'd attract more people dressed as Darth Vader.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-04-27 01:45am

[News Report]Here we see an enlisted soldier comforting the children who's planet has just suffered a devastating attack by Rebel terrorists. Just yesterday, little Jolinza (tallest one center) was off at the park playing with her friends, riding the Eopies; when suddenly a deafening explosion could be heard in the distance as Rebel terrorists attack with armored speeders and starfighters, utterly obliterating this harmless civilian colony. Casualties were in hundreds, and the local security squads didn't have the firepower ot repel the attackers. Eventually the Star DestoyerWargod's Wrathpicked up this colonies distress signal, and immediately came ot scene and conquered the invaders. But by then, it was too late. Little Jolinza had to recieve a prostetic leg due to her injuries, but shes been recieving gifts and services from our brave men in the service of the Empire, as seen above. No reports yet as to the reason the Rebels chose these innocents to slaughter, but we'll keep you updated. This is Flim with Holonet news, leaving you now from this devastating, terrible tragedy.[/News Report]

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-27 01:47am

Me thinks that guy cant bend over any further, and Vader would get more action.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-04-27 02:03am

Stormie armor does have that impressive codpiece, though, doesn't it.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-04-27 02:44am

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:[News Report]Here we see an enlisted soldier comforting the children who's planet has just suffered a devastating attack by Rebel terrorists. Just yesterday, little Jolinza (tallest one center) was off at the park playing with her friends, riding the Eopies; when suddenly a deafening explosion could be heard in the distance as Rebel terrorists attack with armored speeders and starfighters, utterly obliterating this harmless civilian colony. Casualties were in hundreds, and the local security squads didn't have the firepower ot repel the attackers. Eventually the Star DestoyerWargod's Wrathpicked up this colonies distress signal, and immediately came ot scene and conquered the invaders. But by then, it was too late. Little Jolinza had to recieve a prostetic leg due to her injuries, but shes been recieving gifts and services from our brave men in the service of the Empire, as seen above. No reports yet as to the reason the Rebels chose these innocents to slaughter, but we'll keep you updated. This is Flim with Holonet news, leaving you now from this devastating, terrible tragedy.[/News Report]

Sounds like something straight out of a CNN broadcast!

pellaeons_scion · Post by **pellaeons_scion** » 2003-04-27 07:17pm

Ahh good to see The Gnome Information Network putting its resources to good use in exposing the horrors of the Rebel campaign against good Imperial citizens.

Hey Gnome, maybe you should make a regular thing of this, the Holonet news, would be fun to read

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-04-27 07:57pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote:
Darth Garden Gnome wrote:[News Report]Here we see an enlisted soldier comforting the children who's planet has just suffered a devastating attack by Rebel terrorists. Just yesterday, little Jolinza (tallest one center) was off at the park playing with her friends, riding the Eopies; when suddenly a deafening explosion could be heard in the distance as Rebel terrorists attack with armored speeders and starfighters, utterly obliterating this harmless civilian colony. Casualties were in hundreds, and the local security squads didn't have the firepower ot repel the attackers. Eventually the Star DestoyerWargod's Wrathpicked up this colonies distress signal, and immediately came ot scene and conquered the invaders. But by then, it was too late. Little Jolinza had to recieve a prostetic leg due to her injuries, but shes been recieving gifts and services from our brave men in the service of the Empire, as seen above. No reports yet as to the reason the Rebels chose these innocents to slaughter, but we'll keep you updated. This is Flim with Holonet news, leaving you now from this devastating, terrible tragedy.[/News Report]
Sounds like something straight out of a CNN broadcast!

More like Fox.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-04-27 08:09pm

It reminds me of the bit in Starship Troopers.

pellaeons_scion · Post by **pellaeons_scion** » 2003-04-27 08:11pm

"would you like to know more?"

I love that.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-04-27 10:12pm

*bows*

Thank you. I was inspired by Darth Fanboy's bit in the fanfic (entilted "Pushing Back the Resistance" or something), and of course all the news about the war right now. I thought it would just be kind of fun to turn the picture into a war story revealing theEVIL!of the Rebellion. I could do a regular thing, maybe. I'll have to see if the creative juices are still flowin'...

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-04-27 11:40pm

Hey DGG, what do you think of this?

EARTH HAS FALLEN

by Ignatius Thorne

Earlier today, untold millions of mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters across the Empire were able to breathe a sigh of relief. At 0730 hours GST, Imperial troops were finally able to secure Paris, the capital of the United Federation of Planets. Cheering crowds rushed into the streets to welcome their liberators. With the demise of the Federation's opressive and burgeoning government, many Imperial officials are now turning their attention to the rebuilding of the Federation, whose military recieved dire blows during the initial campaign and was utterly annihilated when Grand Admiral Batch's fleet made their way to Wolf 359.

Despite scattered resistance, Earth fell quickly to Imperial troops, some of whom took time out from their busy schedules to greet exuberant onlookers. One such officer was Lieutenant John Tierce, a member of the 148th Stormtrooper Battalion stationed aboard the ISD Overlord.

"It's really worth the fight to see everyone coming out of their homes to greet us," Tierce said. "Now that we're here in force, we can finally bring these people real freedom under the Imperial banner." During his remarks, Tierce stopped to greet several Earth-born children (pictured above) who had only hours ago been freed from Federation indoctrination camps.

Certain critics have labeled the Empire's campaign against the Federation a "war of aggression" and have attempted recall proceedings against Sate Prestage, Chancellor of the Senate and close friend of Emperor Palpatine. "They don't realize what these people have been put through," says Sargent John Octaver of the 275th Stormtrooper Battalion. "The Federation has trampled their rights time and again." When asked about alleged human rights abuses in the Empire itself, Sargent Octaver replied that "certain measures are necessary in times of war. I'm sure that the Emperor has everyone's best interests at heart."

Despite the mysterious disappearence of the Federation's President and several top advisors, the mood here is one of jubilation. "Whether they're dead or alive, I don't care," said one former Federation woman. "As long as they never show their faces ever again."

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-04-28 06:57am

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:[News Report]Here we see an enlisted soldier comforting the children who's planet has just suffered a devastating attack by Rebel terrorists....[/News Report]

Mohammad Gnome Sahaf...

EDIT: And that previous post would a looked beautiful in my Thwarting the Advance Fic....