Boy-related: Gah! SO CONFUSED!!!!!!

Spike ~ Spiegel · Post by **Spike ~ Spiegel** » 2003-04-27 12:28pm

This is interesting isnt it. I don't really understand how a girl can be complaining though.. (this has probly been said before) But c'mon... guys have it so hard... women are everything to us! (btw this is first post YAY) Women are ALL godesses because we need them in so many aspects of life and it drives us mad everytime we start enjoying an individual of the opposite sex's presence. From what i've read zaia, you should take a leap because he's probably crazy about you... My current situation with a girl is nearly the same *sigh*

after all that uhm...... just play it by ear but be sure not to give him mixed signals.. IT'S THE WORST FOR US heh, well hope i could help.

Spike ~ Spiegel · Post by **Spike ~ Spiegel** » 2003-04-27 12:31pm

oh and one more thing, one-on-one instances with a girl are much easier for a guy to open up. So large groups could be bad right now. especially when the guy thinks there's another guy in the group that wants you (Yeah, speaking from experiances.)

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-04-27 12:43pm

Poke! Welcome, n00b.

Personally, I'm of two minds whether one can be just friends with a girl. I've been friends with a girl for five years. I love her deeply. But she doesn't feel that way. So forget about it and find someone else, you dumbass (much easier said than done). See, now I'm talking to myself.

*wanders off*

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-27 02:51pm

*Looks at his clock, notes that it is only three by his watch. Taps his foot some, then looks at his clock which hasn't changed.*

We're all routing for you Zaia!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-04-27 06:39pm

Zaia wrote:So:

1) the lacrosse game last night was a lot of fun. We won, 17-9. Bwahahah!
2) Brian did come out to meet a bunch of my friends, including two of my best friends in the entire world (yay!).
3) we had a lot of fun, flirted a fair amount (at least I'd consider it flirting), and I remembered again how much I had missed him.
4) because we were in a big group, I didn't tell him how I feel. But I'm going to...hopefully later today.

I have practice tonight, and usually what happens is he and I leave at the same time and walk to our cars together. If that happens again tonight, if there are no students around, and if I'm feeling good about myself and the situation (good vibes from him, etc.), I'm just going to blurt out that I like him a hell of a lot (I think telling him I'm in love with him might freak him out if he doesn't reciprocate, and I can always tell him I'm in love with him later). So.....we shall see. Hopefully I'll have the courage and just say it and think about it later.

That's the plan.

Sounds like a good plan, good luck and godspeed.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-04-27 06:49pm

Damn it seems i'm gonna have to get a refund on that one way ticker i was gonna send ya Zaia.

Lord Sander · Post by **Lord Sander** » 2003-04-27 08:22pm

*Waits impatiently for further developments* This thread is addicting

Spike ~ Spiegel · Post by **Spike ~ Spiegel** » 2003-04-27 09:27pm

hahaha yeah,
[Soap Opera Preview Guy Announcer Voice]
Tune in next week where we'll see if Zaia really popped the question.... or will her soon-to-be significant other be a total Guy about it and make the whole situation crash and burn? ... The whole season is leading up to this moment...

Post by **Edi** » 2003-04-28 12:59am

Zaia, darling, you just listen to Rob, and it will simply not be possible for you to fail. He's saying the same things I've been doing over PM, only he does it a lot better and also in a lot fewer words.

Good luck, and I hope you'll have good news for us.

The rest of you, no spam in this thread!

Edi

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-04-28 02:01am

Ok, here's what happened this evening:

On my drive to rehearsal, I recited the lines I had decided I was going to use to just blurt out to him that I liked him. Over and over, for most of the 40-minute drive. I was wearing my favourite sweater (a soft, black one with a slit at the neck that shows off a bit of cleavage--looks good on me, so I felt good), my hair looked good, and I smelled nice, so I was doing fine. I got to the practice room, and was soon joined by Brian and a couple students. We set up the room (chairs & stands, etc.) and then hung out, waiting for rehearsal to begin.

While I was waiting, I sat down at the piano and began to play. Brian was pulling large amounts of paper out of stuffed manila envelopes, and there was so much paper inside that it was hard for him to get the paper out. He struggled with some of them, and mumbled something about how a friend of his could be helping, but no... It took a second for me to realize he was talking about me, so I said, "Oh yeah? What was this friend doing?" and he smiled mischeviously and said, "Oh, I don't know...talking endlessly about some kind of crap." So, that was fine, joking around, whatever....then he gets to another envelope that's jam-packed with paper, and I asked him, "Would you like some help with that?" He answered with, "That'd be great, buddy."

Ok, call me crazy, but "buddy" is something guys call other guys, and (more importantly) it is NOT the sort of thing you would call someone you were interested in romantically. So......all the ego-boosting I did for myself in the car went straight out the window at the use of that word. I told him not to ever call me 'buddy' again, and he asked why. I told him that it was because it brought back nightmares about West Side Story...

Anyway, this is NOT the end of the story.

We rehearsed, the two of us left at about the same time, but there was some weirdness hanging in the air. He was strangely shy all of a sudden, timidly asking if any of my friends that he met last night hated him. I told him, "No, they all thought you were wonderful." He laughed softly and said, "Thanks for the exaggeration," and I said, "I'm not exaggerating; they seriously think you are wonderful." He looked at the ground and said "Well...thank you." We talked a little bit more, and there were a hundred opportunites for me to say something, but I didn't. I still had the impression that he saw me as some non-sexual type thing, and he was yawning because he was tired, and there was just this bit of weirdness there that made me extremely uncomfortable even thinking about talking to him about anything serious then.

So, after a few more minutes of talking, we both left; he to go home, and me to go to Ewo's apartment. I filled her in on the situation with Brian (I hadn't talked to her in a LONG time) and told her that I had built myself up so much today getting ready to talk to him that I needed to let him know how I felt. I thought about calling him, but he really hates talking on the phone. I looked for him on AIM but he wasn't online (since he was yawning, I'm guessing he headed straight for bed). I thought about dropping by his house to say, "By the way, I want to have thousands of your babies" but I thought I might get arrested...

So it came down to email. Here's what I sent:

Brian,

I kind of wanted to talk to you about something after practice tonight, but things felt off and I was picking up this weird vibe, so I decided to just let it go. However, it's been bugging me ever since, so I thought I would write to you to just get it out there.

I like you. A lot. Like, a whole lot. I think that we would be really good together. I don't think that I laugh as hard or as often with anyone else like I do with you, and I can still rely on you to listen to me when I need someone. I think we understand each other amazingly well, especially considering that we've only known each other a couple months. I could go on, but I'll spare you.

I have no idea how you will react to this, but I need for you to know how I feel. I wanted to say it to your face, but apparently I'm a pussy (insert meow here), the timing just wasn't right tonight, and it will be almost a week until I see you again. I didn't want to wait that long to resolve this.

So....that's it.

K

Anyway, I know it's the coward's way out, but the message will get through (he'll probably read it first thing tomorrow morning, before he starts work), and that's the main point, right? Please, please, PLEASE don't critique the letter or anything until I hear back from him, ok? Because if you do, it'll just make me super-critical of something I have no power to change now... Same thing with the way I handled the situation, actually.

So, there it is. I've said my peace. I just hope he doesn't let me down like the rest......

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-04-28 02:18am

Hon, your trying to hard here. Tying yourself into knots is not going to benifit you or him. You are creating more of a problem then you originaly had 4 pages ago.

Well it seems you send him an Email and atleast the secret will be out. I hope the best for ya, but no matter what happens you can atleast quite knotting your self up over how or if to tell him.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-04-28 02:27am

I hope he doesn't either.

Well I understand the buddy bit...and the e-mail is not a coward's way out, so please never tell yourself that.

I do hope everything goes well for ya...because it has to for someone

.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-04-28 02:44am

I have a feeling that good things are on the horizon. Can't explain it, I just do. I'm now hooked on this thread.

mantakai · Post by **mantakai** » 2003-04-28 03:37am

well atleast the question is out. and zaia, i dont think the 'buddy' thing is bad, guys often come up with nicknames/ friendly names for friends especially chix they like so, maybe buddy is just somethign he can call you as a kind of pet name

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-04-28 05:05am

*holds breath*

You'd better tell us what happened soon, Z.

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2003-04-28 05:12am

Bwa, too much tension! Then what happened? Then what happened!

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-04-28 06:48am

mantakai wrote:well atleast the question is out. and zaia, i dont think the 'buddy' thing is bad, guys often come up with nicknames/ friendly names for friends especially chix they like so, maybe buddy is just somethign he can call you as a kind of pet name

I second that!

Most of us tend to use the wrong word, at the wrong time, in the wrong place...The worst is that 99% of us never realize that it was a mistake.

Sometimes we act like elephants in a Swarowsky crystal shop...

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-04-28 09:39am

Zaia wrote: Anyway, I know it's the coward's way out, but the message will get through (he'll probably read it first thing tomorrow morning, before he starts work), and that's the main point, right? Please, please, PLEASE don't critique the letter or anything until I hear back from him, ok? Because if you do, it'll just make me super-critical of something I have no power to change now... Same thing with the way I handled the situation, actually.

So, there it is. I've said my peace. I just hope he doesn't let me down like the rest......

1. it's not the cowards way out, that would be to not tell him at all, in fact this way there's no way out of him finding out so that takes courage.

2. No ones out to critique you Zaia, we want the best for you, hence our posts here.

3. Let us know what happens, I'm doubting tht he'lllet you down. But even if he's not interested in a more involved relationship, I doubt he'll hurt you, not if he's your friend.

4. Go see Dalton and get a big Cuddle to make yourself feel happy.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-04-28 09:45am

I truly wish you the best of luck and that it all turns out the way you're hoping for, dear. But remember that if it doesn't, it's not the end of the world.

*hugs and crosses fingers* Good luck.

Spike ~ Spiegel · Post by **Spike ~ Spiegel** » 2003-04-28 10:55am

Yeah, at least you made some sort of move, takes a lot of courage.
And i Third the fact that guys make up words for people.. especiall when they're nervous (HiNt)

Good luck, tell us what happens soon~!

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-28 12:24pm

looks good

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-04-28 01:00pm

Knife wrote: Hon, your trying to hard here. Tying yourself into knots is not going to benifit you or him. You are creating more of a problem then you originaly had 4 pages ago.

I'm actually not nervous now (haven't heard anything back yet, but--go figure--the internet in the entire school system is down, so he hasn't read it yet), and I feel better knowing that he will know how I feel.

I don't think I'm trying too hard, I think I'm worrying and thinking too much. Or, at least I was. But it's hard not to be spooked by something like that when you've just spent a whole bunch of time building up your confidence to completely put yourself on the line.

So, now I guess we just wait....

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-04-28 01:03pm

Zaia wrote:
Knife wrote: Hon, your trying to hard here. Tying yourself into knots is not going to benifit you or him. You are creating more of a problem then you originaly had 4 pages ago.

I'm actually not nervous now (haven't heard anything back yet, but--go figure--the internet in the entire school system is down, so he hasn't read it yet), and I feel better knowing that he will know how I feel.

I don't think I'm trying too hard, I think I'm worrying and thinking too much. Or, at least I was. But it's hard not to be spooked by something like that when you've just spent a whole bunch of time building up your confidence to completely put yourself on the line.

So, now I guess we just wait....

Why not pass the time Cuddling Dalton and Edi, you know it'll make you feel better.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-04-28 01:11pm

Zaia wrote:
Knife wrote: Hon, your trying to hard here. Tying yourself into knots is not going to benifit you or him. You are creating more of a problem then you originaly had 4 pages ago.

I'm actually not nervous now (haven't heard anything back yet, but--go figure--the internet in the entire school system is down, so he hasn't read it yet), and I feel better knowing that he will know how I feel.

I don't think I'm trying too hard, I think I'm worrying and thinking too much. Or, at least I was. But it's hard not to be spooked by something like that when you've just spent a whole bunch of time building up your confidence to completely put yourself on the line.

So, now I guess we just wait....

Thats my point Z. You have fucked yourself up just trying to express yourself to this guy. Now that you did, you feel better and I am glad you feel better. Now you are past the hump (no pun intended) and weather or not things progress from here, you don't have to stress about expressing your feelings.

Your a great gal, and I hate to see you knotted up thinking if he will reject you. Hon, he should be worried that YOU will reject HIM as not WORTHY and he probably is. Now that you have made the decision to jump in, does it really matter that much if you do a sidestroke, breaststroke, or doggie paddle (my votes for the doggie paddle

) since you are on your way to the pool now and can't turn back.

As always, good luck.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-04-28 01:20pm

I understand your feelings.

But I am glad you are not beating yourself up, because I have seen the consequences of persay thinking too much.

Honestly you've done above and beyond, and really I do hope he appreciates it.

So *huggles*...and everything should get better from now on