Now I know it's time to quit the funeral home

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-04-30 02:35am

Last night I had a really scary dream. It was like "Night of the Living Dead." I was the only living person and I was surrounded by zombies. It was really nasty too; I think George Romero would have liked to have had this dream.

Anyway, maybe it's time to get out of the funeral business...

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-04-30 02:50am

LOL

It could just end up being just an isolated incident. Does the job pay well?

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-04-30 02:51am

Yeah, I am a full time student and this is definately the best paying college job I have had. It starts to get to you though...

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-30 01:14pm

as least you didnt go as far as to fend them off with some kind of sharp object or possibly a chainsaw....what would your boss do if he came in and there were all of these hacked up corpses?

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-04-30 01:17pm

hey man, as long as you don't start fucking your...erm...customers, you'll be fine.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-04-30 01:18pm

I hear morticians get paid the big bucks.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-04-30 07:37pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:hey man, as long as you don't start fucking your...erm...customers, you'll be fine.

Has anyone ever tried that? Or do all applicants go through rigorous courses testing their abilities to resist having sex with the corpse, to week out the necrophiles?

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-30 07:49pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote:hey man, as long as you don't start fucking your...erm...customers, you'll be fine.
Has anyone ever tried that? Or do all applicants go through rigorous courses testing their abilities to resist having sex with the corpse, to week out the necrophiles?

i wonder how many people would actually fail that test....

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-04-30 07:53pm

I don't need to know the answer...*shudder*

But eh...maybe it's just stress.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-04-30 07:53pm

Three responese and already this thread has turned into some weird shit. I suppose it was inevitable though....

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-30 07:58pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:Three responese and already this thread has turned into some weird shit. I suppose it was inevitable though....

the fight between the dead and the living will never stop, i tell you. NEVER STOP!! THOSE DEAD BASTARDS ARE GONNA......um....erm........they're gonna......die......again?........YEAH!!!!

*holds zombie killin' sword high above head*

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-04-30 08:01pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote:hey man, as long as you don't start fucking your...erm...customers, you'll be fine.
Has anyone ever tried that? Or do all applicants go through rigorous courses testing their abilities to resist having sex with the corpse, to week out the necrophiles?

"Remember kiddies....dead girls dont say no!"

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-30 08:07pm

Keevan_Colton wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote:hey man, as long as you don't start fucking your...erm...customers, you'll be fine.
Has anyone ever tried that? Or do all applicants go through rigorous courses testing their abilities to resist having sex with the corpse, to week out the necrophiles?
"Remember kiddies....dead girls dont say no!"

they sure don't.

heh heh heh

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-04-30 08:09pm

You people are friggin' weird.

*cleanses thread with mustard gas*

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-04-30 08:10pm

Superman wrote:Last night I had a really scary dream. It was like "Night of the Living Dead." I was the only living person and I was surrounded by zombies. It was really nasty too; I think George Romero would have liked to have had this dream.

Anyway, maybe it's time to get out of the funeral business...

Dont you mean john romero ?

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-30 08:12pm

[quote="Darth Garden Gnome"]You people are friggin' weird.

[quote]

what makes you say that.....

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-04-30 08:16pm

Hey, thats nothing...a friend of mine has a Necro-donor card....it states that they want thier body to be used for sexual experimentation after thier death

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-04-30 08:16pm

Grey's First Law strikes with a morbid vengeance...

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-30 08:18pm

Keevan_Colton wrote:Hey, thats nothing...a friend of mine has a Necro-donor card....it states that they want thier body to be used for sexual experimentation after thier death

LoL.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-04-30 08:21pm

Stampede wrote: LoL.

Its great, it looks just like a donor card except the text is changed....

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-04-30 08:23pm

Keevan_Colton wrote:
Stampede wrote: LoL.
Its great, it looks just like a donor card except the text is changed....

sweet

Rubberanvil · Post by **Rubberanvil** » 2003-04-30 08:35pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Has anyone ever tried that? Or do all applicants go through rigorous courses testing their abilities to resist having sex with the corpse, to week out the necrophiles?

As long they aren't fucking the living, I don't care.

Rubberanvil · Post by **Rubberanvil** » 2003-04-30 08:38pm

Col. Crackpot wrote:hey man, as long as you don't start fucking your...erm...customers, you'll be fine.

I thought their customers were the living?

The living are the one with the money, unless the family forgot to search the corpse for loose change.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-04-30 09:05pm

Rubberanvil wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Has anyone ever tried that? Or do all applicants go through rigorous courses testing their abilities to resist having sex with the corpse, to week out the necrophiles?
As long they aren't fucking the living, I don't care.

That's the good part about necrophilia. It's practicers also remove themselves from the gene pool in the process.

I think any job where someone can put their penis into something is going to get one sicko try it, and funeral work is no exception. I say the solution is put them in jobs where anything that you can fit your penis in houses a rotating blade.

Rubberanvil · Post by **Rubberanvil** » 2003-04-30 09:18pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote: I say the solution is put them in jobs where anything that you can fit your penis in houses a rotating blade.

Save the rotating blades for the rapists, murderers and pedophiles, they deserve it more.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Now I know it's time to quit the funeral home

Now I know it's time to quit the funeral home

Re: Now I know it's time to quit the funeral home