Weird Shit From The Bible!
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Weird Shit From The Bible!
That's right, this is the place to post the weird shit from the Bible! (I really don't feel like reading the Bible, and anyway I can't right now -- damn 8 pt print, mumble mumble)
I especially want to know where the hell the 1000 iron chariot thing came from, 'cause I missed that part.
I especially want to know where the hell the 1000 iron chariot thing came from, 'cause I missed that part.
Judges 1:19 - And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.
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If you want high-test concentrated weird-shit in the Bible, read the Book of Leviticus.
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing
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http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC
"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness
"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.
http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
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"Of these you may eat: any kind of locust, katydid, cricket or grasshopper."Darth Wong wrote:If you want high-test concentrated weird-shit in the Bible, read the Book of Leviticus.
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SD.net Rangers: Chicks Dig It
"In the unlikely event of losing Pascal's Wager, I intend to saunter in to Judgement Day with a bookshelf full of grievances, a flaming sword of my own devising, and a serious attitude problem."- Rick Moen
SD.net Rangers: Chicks Dig It
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I hear they're actually pretty good... when completely covered in chocolate
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She was lying about that, and she's lying about this too.neoolong wrote:That she wasn't having an affair with Santa?DPDarkPrimus wrote:That's what Mom says... but remember what Mom told you about Santa?neoolong wrote: I think they're good sources of protein.
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"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
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And when placed a little more in context...Frank Hipper wrote:Malachi 2:3 "Behold, for I shall corrupt your seed and spread dung on your faces."
See, Jehovah loves you!
002:001 And now, O ye priests, this commandment is for you.
002:002 If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart.
002:003 Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it.
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As always, this:
Ezekiel 23:20
For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.
In other words, they were hung like mules and sprayed like stallions.
Ezekiel 23:20
For she doted upon their paramours, whose flesh is as the flesh of asses, and whose issue is like the issue of horses.
In other words, they were hung like mules and sprayed like stallions.
Shadowhawk
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"Then, from sea to shining sea, the God-King sang the praises of teflon, and with his face to the sunshine, he churned lots of butter." -- Body of a pharmacy spam email
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Eric from ASVS
"Sufficiently advanced technology is often indistinguishable from magic." -- Clarke's Third Law
"Then, from sea to shining sea, the God-King sang the praises of teflon, and with his face to the sunshine, he churned lots of butter." -- Body of a pharmacy spam email
Here's my avatar, full-sized (Yoshitoshi ABe's autograph in my Lain: Omnipresence artbook)
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What about the Book of Revelations, which bears a striking resemblance to a LSD trip.
There's also the "Circumcise the foreskin of your heart" bit, which truly is one of the funniest mistranslations I ever have seen.
There's also the "Circumcise the foreskin of your heart" bit, which truly is one of the funniest mistranslations I ever have seen.
"Hi there, would you like to have a cookie?"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
"No, actually I would HATE to have a cookie, you vapid waste of inedible flesh!"
I did that once...rued the day i did.Superman wrote:Yeah, that is sort of like saying "break the hymen of your soul..."
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*Homer Simpson voice*Mmmmm. Griffon!weemadando wrote:I'll try and find which book of the Torah specifically stops Jews from eating Griffon. Thats right. Griffon.
Well, at least thats the only animal my friends and I could come up with that fitted the description.
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Post #666: 5-24-03, 8:26 am (Hey, why not?)
Do you not believe in Thor, the Viking Thunder God? If not, then do you consider your state of disbelief in Thor to be a religion? Are you an AThorist?-Darth Wong on Atheism as a religion
Post #666: 5-24-03, 8:26 am (Hey, why not?)
Do you not believe in Thor, the Viking Thunder God? If not, then do you consider your state of disbelief in Thor to be a religion? Are you an AThorist?-Darth Wong on Atheism as a religion
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Weird shit from the bible? Lets see .......all of it?
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