Things about the real world I learned in games

GEC: Discuss gaming, computers and electronics and venture into the bizarre world of STGODs.

Moderator: Thanas

The Penultimate Ninja
Youngling
Posts: 94
Joined: 2003-05-04 11:54pm
Location: People's Republic of Berkeley

Things about the real world I learned in games

Post by The Penultimate Ninja »

Games aren't a waste of time. They're quite educational. I learned quite a bit about the real world. For example look at C&C Generals:

Being a shirtless American hero will make you invisible
Being a hot chinese chick with makeup will make you invisible
An arab sniper can snipe through inches of solid steel
Gattling guns can shoot planes thousands of feet in the air
One standard grunt can control any type of empty vehicle
A tank half as large as a barracks only needs one person to control it
Anthrax kills you in seconds and is also a blue sludge
One flashbang clears a 5-story building
You can own an unlimited supply of nukes, SCUD missiles, or your very own particle sattelite for $5000
You CAN get rich quick on the Internet
8 angry Arabs can destroy a city in minutes

Now why they don't put this stuff in the school curriculum is beyond me.
Proud Citizen of The People's Republic of Kalifornia

"We have terrorists in the country and those people in Berkeley, they think of any way to go against patriotism or the president. If the president goes north, they go south. You can't trust them; when they grow up they become no-no's, just anti-anything."
User avatar
The Drunkard Kid
Padawan Learner
Posts: 291
Joined: 2003-04-21 09:55pm

Re: Things about the real world I learned in games

Post by The Drunkard Kid »

The Penultimate Ninja wrote:Being a shirtless American hero will make you invisible
Being a hot chinese chick with makeup will make you invisible
Oddly enough, I've noticed that both an American hero with makeup and a hot, shirtless Chinese chick are both at least 8 times as visible in real life in high school...
"What's that smear on the wall, Mommy?"
"That used to be Spider-Man, honey."
"What killed him?"
"A zipper. Some said it was velcro, but the Daily Bugle said it was a zipper, and I believe the Bugle."
"Wow, he musta been real stupid, huh?"
"Yes honey, he was."
User avatar
Brother-Captain Gaius
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 6859
Joined: 2002-10-22 12:00am
Location: \m/

Post by Brother-Captain Gaius »

Gattling guns can shoot planes thousands of feet in the air
This one is wrong. The Gatling guns shoot down planes that always fly 20 feet in the air, never any higher.

BTW:

*Lasgun poke*
Agitated asshole | (Ex)40K Nut | Metalhead
The vision never dies; life's a never-ending wheel
1337 posts as of 16:34 GMT-7 June 2nd, 2003

"'He or she' is an agenderphobic microaggression, Sharon. You are a bigot." ― Randy Marsh
User avatar
Darth Wong
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 70028
Joined: 2002-07-03 12:25am
Location: Toronto, Canada
Contact:

Post by Darth Wong »

You forgot one: any type of radioactive or biochemical fallout will dissipate harmlessly in 20 seconds.
Image
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
User avatar
Superman
Pink Foamin' at the Mouth
Posts: 9690
Joined: 2002-12-16 12:29am
Location: Metropolis

Post by Superman »

I learned that when I die, I can just hit the "Reset" button.
Image
The Penultimate Ninja
Youngling
Posts: 94
Joined: 2003-05-04 11:54pm
Location: People's Republic of Berkeley

Post by The Penultimate Ninja »

This one is wrong. The Gatling guns shoot down planes that always fly 20 feet in the air, never any higher.
Guess those millions in jet development went to the La-Z-Boy toilet seat then.
Proud Citizen of The People's Republic of Kalifornia

"We have terrorists in the country and those people in Berkeley, they think of any way to go against patriotism or the president. If the president goes north, they go south. You can't trust them; when they grow up they become no-no's, just anti-anything."
User avatar
DPDarkPrimus
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 18399
Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
Location: Iowa
Contact:

Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Never store a nuclear device in your place of residence without enough security to keep out a man wearing power armor and carrying a laser gatling gun.
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
User avatar
Gandalf
SD.net White Wizard
Posts: 16358
Joined: 2002-09-16 11:13pm
Location: A video store in Australia

Post by Gandalf »

Bad guys take the same amount of bullets to die, regardless of if they're hit in the head or the foot.
"Oh no, oh yeah, tell me how can it be so fair
That we dying younger hiding from the police man over there
Just for breathing in the air they wanna leave me in the chair
Electric shocking body rocking beat streeting me to death"

- A.B. Original, Report to the Mist

"I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."
- George Carlin
User avatar
Lord of the Farce
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 2198
Joined: 2002-08-06 10:49am
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Post by Lord of the Farce »

How about all of the high-tech explosive goodies that the bad-guys inevitably leave all over the place ready for you to use against them?
"Intelligent Design" Not Accepted by Most Scientists
User avatar
Sea Skimmer
Yankee Capitalist Air Pirate
Posts: 37390
Joined: 2002-07-03 11:49pm
Location: Passchendaele City, HAB

Post by Sea Skimmer »

JediNeophyte wrote:
Gattling guns can shoot planes thousands of feet in the air
This one is wrong. The Gatling guns shoot down planes that always fly 20 feet in the air, never any higher.
One of the Delta force movies had an Iraqi mini gun miss a UH-1 moving at 20 knots flying about 50 feet away perhaps 10 feet in the air....
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
User avatar
neoolong
Dead Sexy 'Shroom
Posts: 13180
Joined: 2002-08-29 10:01pm
Location: California

Post by neoolong »

You can carry a damn near unlimited supply of weaponry and ammunition, and it won't slow you down at all.
Member of the BotM. @( !.! )@
User avatar
Vympel
Spetsnaz
Spetsnaz
Posts: 29312
Joined: 2002-07-19 01:08am
Location: Sydney Australia

Post by Vympel »

[moron]wot game is dis? Half-life?![/moron]
Like Legend of Galactic Heroes? Please contribute to http://gineipaedia.com/
User avatar
Darth Gojira
Jedi Master
Posts: 1378
Joined: 2002-07-14 08:20am
Location: Rampaging around Cook County

Post by Darth Gojira »

Stuff I learned form AoK:TC:

It only takes one person to man a 15th century cannon
The best swordsmen don't use shields
Siege equipment moves at its own accord
When it comes to cavalry, the horse does the talking
Charles Martel died at Tours
The Templar Knights were avid Star Wars fans
The English used crossbows frequently
Wearing only plaid pants will make you go REALLY fast
" for guys wearing eagle masks
Neither the Chinese nor the Mongols used gunpowder
Naval combat was waged by throwing giant spears
Greek fire was not exclusively Byzantine
Chinese archers had rapidfire capabilities
Nobility always used white horses, most everyone else used brown ones, and the Mongols used black ones
Genghis Khan, Joan Darc, Sal-ad-din, Frederick Barbarossa, El Cid, Attila the Hun, and Cuautemoc all spoke English, abliet with accents
Samurai only used swords
Persian war elephant were so smart, they didn't have drivers
Waving a stick in the air will make someone switch allegiance
and, of course
Matinence? What's that?

There you have it, the rundown of history according to the best historical RTS in history! :wink:
Hokey masers and giant robots are no match for a good kaiju at your side, kid
Post #666: 5-24-03, 8:26 am (Hey, why not?)
Do you not believe in Thor, the Viking Thunder God? If not, then do you consider your state of disbelief in Thor to be a religion? Are you an AThorist?-Darth Wong on Atheism as a religion
User avatar
Slartibartfast
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 6730
Joined: 2002-09-10 05:35pm
Location: Where The Sea Meets The Sky
Contact:

Post by Slartibartfast »

As a side note, I stopped having nightmares many years ago. Or at least, dreams with scary monsters and deadly stuff stopped being nightmares with the inexplicable addition of a Reload button. So I guess some of this stuff is true.
Image
User avatar
SAMAS
Mecha Fanboy
Posts: 4078
Joined: 2002-10-20 09:10pm

Post by SAMAS »

From Moonwalker:

Michael Jackson has the power to make people dance with him, and then kill them afterwards.

Even though there's a cute, sweet girl you've been friendly with all your life, the One for you will always be the girl you run into quite by accident.

It's always safe to eat food that comes out of crates and trash cans. In fact, it will heal your wounds.
Image
Not an armored Jigglypuff

"I salute your genetic superiority, now Get off my planet!!" -- Adam Stiener, 1st Somerset Strikers
User avatar
Isil`Zha
Jedi Knight
Posts: 768
Joined: 2002-07-07 02:50pm
Location: Orbital Frame Naked Jehuty

Post by Isil`Zha »

Meat and Mashed Potatoes can instantly heal any and all gunshot wounds.
Though we are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are,--
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
User avatar
NecronLord
Harbinger of Doom
Harbinger of Doom
Posts: 27384
Joined: 2002-07-07 06:30am
Location: The Lost City

Post by NecronLord »

IMO Wrong Forum.

Activating Trans-Mat!
Superior Moderator - BotB - HAB [Drill Instructor]-Writer- Stardestroyer.net's resident Star-God.
"We believe in the systematic understanding of the physical world through observation and experimentation, argument and debate and most of all freedom of will." ~ Stargate: The Ark of Truth
User avatar
StarshipTitanic
Sith Marauder
Posts: 4475
Joined: 2002-07-03 09:41pm
Location: Massachusetts

Post by StarshipTitanic »

Some more from AOK:

Villagers will have no qualms about fighting swordsmen, knights, or even castles, but you have to tell them first and after they're done.
Twenty war elephants can fit into a castle, but when one is filled with 20 champions, the 21st cannot find any room.
The most advanced Byzantine army can easily defeat the most advanced Turkish army.
Conversions were easy in the Middle Ages, an old man with a book waved at you...unless your religion had the concept of Heresy, because then you explode.
Persian war elephants are VERY smart, they can convert.
Frankish Paladins had no trouble running down British Longbowmen.
Huns didn't need houses.
Byzantine fortifications could be taken down by the simpliest of seige engines.
"Man's unfailing capacity to believe what he prefers to be true rather than what the evidence shows to be likely and possible has always astounded me...God has not been proven not to exist, therefore he must exist." -- Academician Prokhor Zakharov

"Hal grabs life by the balls and doesn't let you do that [to] hal."

"I hereby declare myself master of the known world."
Howedar
Emperor's Thumb
Posts: 12472
Joined: 2002-07-03 05:06pm
Location: St. Paul, MN

Post by Howedar »

You can pick up a gun off the field and install it in a brand-new turret instantly.

Helicopters have little missile factories inside.
Howedar is no longer here. Need to talk to him? Talk to Pick.
The Penultimate Ninja
Youngling
Posts: 94
Joined: 2003-05-04 11:54pm
Location: People's Republic of Berkeley

Post by The Penultimate Ninja »

Here's some from Natural Selection:

Nanotechnology can build anything anywhere as long as a human is around.
A tiny dog-like creature can "evolve" into a giant rhino/elephent hybrid.
Gun muzzle flashes are fricken huge yet guns barely do damage to aliens.
Aliens are born by being defecated by a large "egg."
Marines are whiny brats that can't live without their toys.
Aliens build by having a fat pig thing vomit out structures.
The marines have never thought to use flamethrowers.
Upon getting their toys, the humans fly around like idiots and go off alone to get killed.
Proud Citizen of The People's Republic of Kalifornia

"We have terrorists in the country and those people in Berkeley, they think of any way to go against patriotism or the president. If the president goes north, they go south. You can't trust them; when they grow up they become no-no's, just anti-anything."
User avatar
DPDarkPrimus
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 18399
Joined: 2002-11-22 11:02pm
Location: Iowa
Contact:

Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Counter-Strike:

If you have money, you can purchase weapons from thin air.
Jumping around like a monkey on crack is a viable survival technique.
Every counter-terrorist operative and terrorist operative in the world have the exact same voice.
Mayabird is my girlfriend
Justice League:BotM:MM:SDnet City Watch:Cybertron's Finest
"Well then, science is bullshit. "
-revprez, with yet another brilliant rebuttal.
User avatar
Exonerate
Sith Marauder
Posts: 4454
Joined: 2002-10-29 07:19pm
Location: DC Metro Area

Post by Exonerate »

TFC:
You can fire 4 high explosive rockets into a HW and he'll still still be alive.

Medics and instantly heal anybody by running up to you and pressing a few buttons, and engineers can repair armor by whacking you with a wrench a couple times, provided they carry enough scrap metal around.

Snipers can increase damage dealt by their rifles by holding the trigger button down for awhile first.

Rocking jumping (Shooting a rocket at your feet to use the explosion to propell you farther than you regularly can) is a viable tactic, and should be actively done to suprise enemy snipers.

You can run around on fire for about 40 seconds and still be barely touched.

High-explosive packs the size of half an adult have an invisible blast radius of about 10 meters.

Spies can instantly disguise to change into a member of the enemy team within seconds while on the move.

Medics can spread a highly contagious pathogen which kills in seconds, unless you run around picking up medpacks, in which case you can infect your whole team before dying.

BoTM, MM, HAB, JL
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Here's some stuff that I learned from video games:

Most corpses dissapear soon after dying, except for a few (Perfect Dark)
With only a few hundred dollars, you can get away with just about any crime. (GTA:VC)
Firing two rocket launchers at once does no bodily harm. You can also reload both of them in less than a second (GoldenEye)
Bread is as good as healing a gunshot as medical equipment (Medal of Honor: Frontline)

And most importantly:

Save often, so you won't lose anything when you mess up and need to reset.
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
User avatar
Shinova
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10193
Joined: 2002-10-03 08:53pm
Location: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Post by Shinova »

Starcraft - Hydralisks can shoot spines at capital ships and down them.

Doom - You can fall a thousand miles and be unscratched.
What's her bust size!?

It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!
User avatar
Keevan_Colton
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10355
Joined: 2002-12-30 08:57pm
Location: In the Land of Logic and Reason, two doors down from Lilliput and across the road from Atlantis...
Contact:

Post by Keevan_Colton »

Darth Gojira wrote: The best swordsmen don't use shields
For rank defensive work, shields are good.....swordsman on swordsman.....they can be a big hindrance.....
"Prodesse Non Nocere."
"It's all about popularity really, if your invisible friend that tells you to invade places is called Napoleon, you're a loony, if he's called Jesus then you're the president."
"I'd drive more people insane, but I'd have to double back and pick them up first..."
"All it takes for bullshit to thrive is for rational men to do nothing." - Kevin Farrell, B.A. Journalism.
BOTM - EBC - Horseman - G&C - Vampire
Post Reply