How Stravo Got His Groove Back

[Kuja]

You can thank Stravo and Captain_Cyran for this little number. They gave me the inspiration with their posts on this Starcrossed page.


PART 1: Attack of the Mages


*fade in on the living room of a New York City apartment, night. All lights are turned off, and STRAVO sits at his computer, head resting on his hand*

STRAVO (voiceover): I was sitting at my computer the night the madness began. It had been so long since I'd put out a Starcrossed chapter for everyone to read. In part, this was due to my busy workweek, but it was also thanks to a nasty case of writer's block.

*STRAVO suddenly leans forward and begins typing rapidly. After a few moments, he stops and reviews the computer screen. Then he sighs and deletes the new paragraph*

STRAVO (vo): With the weekend coming up, I knew I could devote a little more time to my writing, but that wasn't going to be worth much if I couldn't think of anything to write. In addition, the amount of distractions provided by the city around me rarely helped.

*STRAVO jerks his head around as we hear the brakes of a car squeal outside. The sound ends with a crash. There is a few second of silence, followed by incoherent yelling*

STRAVO: *growl* Crazy drunk drivers.

STRAVO (vo): That particular sound heralded the beginning of the most bizarre weekend in my life, although I didn't realize it at the time. Perhaps if I could have recognized those voices I could have prepared for the insanity awaiting me. As it was, I simply returned to writing, keeping a curious ear out for police sirens.

*STRAVO turns back to his computer and for a few seconds, all is peaceful*

STRAVO (vo): That was when it happened.

*a figure pops into existence in midair and falls to the floor with an audible groan. STRAVO spins around in his chair just in time to see a second figure materialize and fall on top of the first, eliciting a muffled sound of pain. Finally, a traveling bag stuffed to the brim appears and lands atop both intruders.*

FIGURE 1: OOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!

FIGURE 2: Shut up.

*both figures climb to their feet and face the rather anxious STRAVO. Both of them are Black Mages, one with a knife belted at his waist, the other with a sledgehammer strapped to his back*

STRAVO: Who the hell are you, and how did you get in here?

FIGURE 2: It's us, Strav. You don't recognize us?

STRAVO: Uh, no.

*FIGURE 1 steps forward*

FIGURE 1: It's us, Kuja and Cyran.

STRAVO: Kuja and...*realization dawns* How the HELL did you get here?

KUJA: We drove.

STRAVO: Drove?

KUJA: Yeah. My Mustang.

CYRAN: It was cool, too! We kept the windows open and the music up at thirty, and around Syracuse we saw a couple hot chicks-

*KUJA smacks CYRAN on the back of the head*

KUJA: All right, that's enough.

CYRAN: Hey, knock it off!

KUJA: Make me.

CYRAN: STAB TIME!

STRAVO: That's enough! Now, tell me how you got in here.

BOTH: Trade secret.

*STRAVO sighs*

CYRAN: We came here cuz we're the hit squad-

*KUJA clamps his hand over CYRAN'S mouth*

KUJA: What he means to say is that we're the guys to help you with your writer's block!

STRAVO: Are you serious?

KUJA: *still holding CYRAN'S mouth* Of course. Everybody wants more Starcrossed!

CYRAN: Mmmh mmh, mmh.

KUJA: Later, Cyran.

STRAVO: So...just what exactly are you guys supposed to do?

KUJA: Whatever. Help you out. Buy you dinner. Anything.

CYRAN: Mmmh mmh mmmh!

KUJA: I said LATER, Cyran.

*CYRAN begins struggling*

KUJA: Hey! Hold still, damn you!

STRAVO: I don't think he can breathe.

KUJA: Oh, good point.

*KUJA releases CYRAN*

CYRAN: *hoarse* Thanks, Strav.

STRAVO: *sigh* This is going to be a long weekend.

STRAVO (vo): Little did I know how right I was.

[Kelly Antilles]

*ROTFL* Beautiful Iggy. Simply beautiful.

[haas mark]

OMG!! LMAO! :lol::lol: Awesome work, Iggy! Nicely done in play format.

[Stravo]

OK, I LOVE it....Iggy I want to see more...more right now.

See how it feels.

[Mark S]

Sounds like what should happen with me and Manifest Destiny

[Stravo]

Sounds like what should happen with me and Maniest Destiny

Mark, seriously you should put out a chapter, even a short one would be welcomed. I miss the sniping between the more rabid members of our camps.

[Jason von Evil]

Grand, now I've got this image of Kirk, the lone cowboy from Bebop and Black Mage all in one room. Gah, the pain, the pain of it all! *jumps out a window*

Nice fic Iggy pop. *resumes oggling Kelly's avatar*

[Captain Cyran]

ROFL!! That's so F-ing cool Iggy. I could not stop laughing through the entire thing.

[Darth Yoshi]

Although Cyran's character seems too Fighterish.

[Kuja]

Although Cyran's character seems too Fighterish.

Hmmmm, re-reading it, I suppose you have a point. I'll work on that part.

[Darth Fanboy]

Although Cyran's character seems too Fighterish.

Hmmmm, re-reading it, I suppose you have a point. I'll work on that part.

It only seems fighterish because he isn't chargin up a Bolt 2 or setting random objects on fire. Make him use meteor or COmet on a oassing car or something.

[haas mark]

Although Cyran's character seems too Fighterish.

Hmmmm, re-reading it, I suppose you have a point. I'll work on that part.

It only seems fighterish because he isn't chargin up a Bolt 2 or setting random objects on fire. Make him use meteor or COmet on a oassing car or something.

But he DID already want to stab something... I found him BMish..

[Kuja]

PART 2: Breakfast Bites Back



*FADE IN on STRAVO'S bedroom, early morning. He is asleep, only his head and left arm visible above the covers. There is a knock at the door. STRAVO groans and rolls over. The knocking gets louder, but STRAVO does not respond. There is a moment of silence, then a sledgehammer crashes through the door and knocks it off its hinges*

KUJA: Morning, Stravo!

*KUJA resheathes his hammer and enters the room, carrying a tray with various types of food on it.

KUJA: It's eight o'clock, are you just gonna sleep the whole day away?

STRAVO: Mmm.

KUJA: Come on, I've got breakfast. Cyran and I worked really hard on it, too!

STRAVO: G'way.

*STRAVO pulls himself completely under the covers*

KUJA: Hey, wake up already!

*KUJA sets the tray down on STRAVO'S dresser*

KUJA: Hey, I said wake up!

*STRAVO does not respond. KUJA sighs and walks over to the window. After opening it, he returns to his previous position at the foot of the bed*

KUJA: *raises one arm* HEEEEYAAAAH!

*a lightning bolt comes in through the window and nails STRAVO. Instantly, his entire body is jerked into midair, flashing an x-ray of his skeleton and twitching spasmodically. After a moment, he falls back to the bed, smoking slightly*

STRAVO: Asshole!

KUJA: Now that you're awake, have some breakfast. *he offers STRAVO the tray* Pancakes and scrambled eggs.

*STRAVO glares and says nothing*

KUJA: Eat, or it's a fireball next time.

*STRAVO reluctantly picks up a fork and knife and cuts off a bit of one pancake. Putting it in his mouth, he chews thoughtfully*

STRAVO: Not bad. What did you put in it?

KUJA: Uh, whatever was on the box, I guess. Cyran actually made the pancakes. *KUJA turns to face the doorframe* HEY CYRAN!

*CYRAN walks into the room, stepping over the fallen door. He holds a plunger in one hand*

CYRAN: Yeah?

KUJA: What did you put in the pancakes? Stravo likes them.

*STRAVO nods, having nearly finished the first pancake*

STRAVO: Yeah, these are pretty good.

CYRAN: Uh, I didn't put in anything special. I just followed the directions. Glad you like, though.

STRAVO: *blinks* What's with the plunger?

CYRAN: Huh? Oh, I just found it in the closet. I used it to mix the pancake batter.

*STRAVO makes a gagging sound, then leaps out of bed, knocking the breakfast tray over as he does so. He then proceeds to run out of the room, one hand clamped over his mouth*

KUJA: Geez, he spilled the eggs everywhere. Was that really necessary?

*CUT TO: the bathroom. STRAVO is leaning over a toilet, his face pale. CYRAN enters*

CYRAN: Hey, you OK?

STRAVO: I swear I'm going to get you back for this.

CYRAN: *with cheerful malice* You mean you're going to make me breakfast sometime?

*STRAVO groans*

CYRAN: OK, I think you've had enough fun. How about you get showered and dressed so you can get to work?

STRAVO: Fun? Why you-

*CYRAN casually rests his hand on his knife*

STRAVO: Uh, right. Work.

*scene freezes*

STRAVO (vo): That breakfast just might've been the most sickening thing I ever ate. That wasn't the weirdest or most humiliating part of the day, though. That was still awaiting me...

*fade to black*

[haas mark]

OMG!! :lol: LMFAO!! {And first post, to boot! } Great work, Iggy, hope to see more soon.

[Zaia]

LMAO


Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Can't wait for more!

[Stravo]

Hmmmm...reading this is getting more addictive than writing Starcrossed.

[Mark S]

Come on. This is a New York City apartment. He doesn't have a separate bedroom.

[Kuja]

Come on. This is a New York City apartment. He doesn't have a separate bedroom.

Nitpicker.

[haas mark]

Come on. This is a New York City apartment. He doesn't have a separate bedroom.

Some of us don't know that.

[Mark S]

Come on. This is a New York City apartment. He doesn't have a separate bedroom.

Some of us don't know that.

Neither do I, really. Just making a joke since I always hear how small apartments in New York are supposed to be unless you have a pant load of money.

[haas mark]

Come on. This is a New York City apartment. He doesn't have a separate bedroom.

Some of us don't know that.

Neither do I, really. Just making a joke since I always hear how small apartments in New York are supposed to be unless you have a pant load of money.

Never heard that before... That may be due to always living in the South (be it in the South or the Southwest, it is still the South.. I used to live in Virginia and Tennessee and Oklahoma before New Mexico).

[Stravo]

They're not THAT small....*Bumps had on way out of closet like bedroom into tigercage like bathroom.*

[Kelly Antilles]

*ROTFLMAOPIMP* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! That's so fucking funny! Thank you so much, Iggster. This is really making my days.

[Jason von Evil]

Hehe.

[Kuja]

*ROTFLMAOPIMP*

???