DECISION TIME
I have seen many contestants, many compelling arguments, and much ass-kissing
OK, let me run down the list of contestants whose arguments jumped out at me:
- Thirdfain was the first one to respond, and he's a young man who needs to impress a young woman.
- SirNitram makes an excellent point; his significant other is a female B5 fan who's also a member of this board.
- Wicked Pilot is by far the most shameless sycophant in the entire group. His "I Love Canada" animated flag and giant sig came as a surprise
- Brian Young is, of course, an excellent choice, except that he already has them.
- Vympel suffered horrible gastroentiritis.
- Ando is strange.
- Nova Andromeda's sister says she'll hang around here if she gets it.
- Aerius and Ted won't require any shipping costs.
- The various Babtech staff members are hardcore B5 fans who I've known for a long time.
So, now I must cut down the list. First, and for purely selfish reasons, people who are on the other side of the globe would create much higher shipping costs, so I'm picking somebody nearby. Second, giving it to people I've known for a long time somehow seems unfair. I know that sounds odd, but what can I say: it's a contest, and I shouldn't just give it to the person I already know the best. Third, Aerius and Ted would save me shipping costs, but neither did a particularly good job of showing their devotion as B5 fans. And fourth, Nova's sister, while she offers an interesting bribe, is an unknown quantity on this board.
So it comes down to Wicked Pilot, SirNitram/LadyTevar, Thirdfain. All three live in CONUS, and all three demonstrated strong levels of devotion to B5. Of those, Thirdfain lives closest to me and is hoping to impress a girl, Wicked Pilot demonstrated the strongest fandom, and of course, the lovely LadyTevar is a member of the board and a B5 fan.
So now we need a tie-breaker, and for that tie-breaker, I choose ...
PATHOS!
Who is more pathetic? Well, LadyTevar and SirNitram are out, because they have each other. When you love someone and that person loves you, life is good. Unfortunately, this also means they lose big-time on the pathos meter.
This leaves Wicked Pilot and Thirdfain. Both are single. Both are obviously devoted fans. Both are young and without much money. WP is serving in his nation's military, and Thirdfain is hoping to impress a girl: something that I and every other man can remember and identify with.
So who wins the pathos contest? Believe it or not, I had some serious trouble deciding on this. I considered tossing a coin. But in the end, I had to go with ultimate pathos, and say it's ...
WICKED PILOT!!
While I would have liked to send one set to both of them, I only have one set to send. And when it comes down it, from Wicked Pilot's other posts on the board, it appears that he is "without female companionship at the present time". Thirdfain, all of us men know what it's like to be in your shoes, but since you're taking this girl to the prom, this means you officially have a girlfriend right now. I would love to be able to help you impress one of the rare girls out there who's a sci-fi fan, but as WP has no girlfriend, he must win the pathos contest (not to mention the abject grovelling contest).
And with that, the contest is closed. Thank you all for coming. Refreshments are in the back, the drunkenness and public disorder may now commence.
