My vanity just went through the roof. Stop that.verilon wrote:[cuddles wit da kitty] awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..............Singular Quartet wrote:And this is why I have my avatar.Kelly Antilles wrote: *chuckles* You really like this avatar, don't you?
So I don't ahve to deal with it...
Good story, by the by, and MArk, we expect more soon, or else.
How Stravo Got His Groove Back
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And yet, the crowd ignores the destruction. And Kelly does have a point. We would like more POTF.
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*Pulls out his knife* You don't need that right pinkie toe correct?Stravo wrote:NICE, now we have good old Dalton joining in on the fun. This is getting better and better. Its so good I've stopped writing stracrossed to see what will happen next.
Now get back to work. *Smacks Stravo with the blunt side of the knife*
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Great thrid chapter Iggy, I'm loving every minute of this and after a long and painful track meet *twitch* this was a bright moment of the day.
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"Quick! To the Blackmagemobile!"
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PART 4: Good Food, Yes!
*fade in: STRAVO running down another street. KUJA'S Mustang is about forty feet behind and gaining. CYRAN is still leaning out the window, firing randomly*
KUJA: Cyran!
CYRAN: Yo!
KUJA: Get ready to tackle him!
CYRAN: All right!
*Cyran drops the Uzi onto his seat and braces himself for a jump. STRAVO is looking valiantly for a place to run, but sees nowhere to go. As the Mustang draws even with him, CYRAN launches himself out the window with a bloodcurdling scream. STRAVO sees him coming and throws himself to the ground. CYRAN'S scream changes to one of terror as he flies over STRAVO and slams into the window of a store*
KUJA: Ouch. That didn't look pleasant.
*STRAVO hauls himself to his feet and watches as CYRAN slowly slides to the ground*
STRAVO: Are you OK?
CYRAN: *strained* Why'd it have to be a health food store? Why couldn't I slam into the front of a porno shop or a gun store?
*there is a squeal of brakes as KUJA brings the Mustang to a stop, then turns around and drives back to where STRAVO and CYRAN are. As he reaches them, KUJA dives out the door, leaving the Mustang to use a brick wall to stop. Curiously enough, the car bounces back from the wall unharmed, as though it were made of rubber. KUJA pulls out his blaster rifle*
KUJA: Got you now!
*STRAVO squawks and dives to the side as KUJA fires a massive blast of energy at him. The bolt misses STRAVO by inches and goes through the window of the health food store, which promptly erupts into flames*
KUJA: Ah, slippery little devil, aren't you?
STRAVO: Rob, where the hell are you?
*cut to: DALTON in his car, surrounded by rush hour traffic. He is leaning on one hand and drumming his fingers on the wheel, waiting for the car in front of him to move*
DRIVER: Speed up, asshole!
DALTON: I can't, jackass! Go stick your head in a bucket of bleach!
DRIVER: Fuck off!
DALTON: Same to you!
*cut to the scene we just left. KUJA has his rifle trained on STRAVO, and CYRAN is slowly climbing to his feet. The health food store is ablaze. Passerby find it interesting enough to glance over at least once before continuing with their daily schedules*
KUJA: Now, are you gonna be a good boy and come with us? Or do I have to get rough?
STRAVO: How about you just leave me alone and go back home?
KUJA: No fun in that.
CYRAN: I bent my Wookiee.
*KUJA glances over at CYRAN. STRAVO takes advantage, leaping forward and planting a fist in KUJA'S face before taking off once again*
KUJA: THAT'S IT! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!
*KUJA pulls out his sledgehammer and dashes off after STRAVO. CYRAN hobbles after both of them. After some time, STRAVO arrives at a small café*
STRAVO: OK, I'm here...now where's Rob?
*cut to: Dalton in his car. He is in a different part of Manhattan now, but is still surrounded by traffic*
DALTON: Why did I agree to this? I'm supposed to meet Stravo at the café? What café? There's dozens of them! And I've never even seen where the guy lives, how am I supposed to find him?
*DALTON hits several buttons on the radio, but nothing happens*
DALTON: *sigh* And now the radio's stuck on one station. What could be worse?
RADIO: Barney is a di-no-saur from our im-ag-in-a-tion!
DALTON: NOOOOOOOOO!
*cut to: the café. KUJA has caught up with STRAVO and is about to hit him with the sledgehammer*
KUJA: SMASH TIME!
STRAVO: Wait a minute!
*KUJA pauses*
STRAVO: Remember how I said I was going to get a drink? This is where I'm buying it.
*CYRAN has finally caught up and is walking semi-normally again*
CYRAN: I thought you said you were going to the kitchen.
*STRAVO gestures to the name of the café: The Kitchen*
KUJA: Oh, OK.
*KUJA and CYRAN follow STRAVO into the café*
KUJA: Hey, as long as we're here, we should get you some brain food, Strav.
*fade out, followed by a fade in on the café several hours later. All three are seated at a table covered by empty plates and glasses*
WAITRESS: So, which one of you gentlemen is paying for this?
ALL THREE: Him!
*KUJA points at CYRAN, CYRAN points at STRAVO, and STRAVO points at KUJA*
WAITRESS: *laughs* Cute, guys. Now, who's paying?
CYRAN: Uh...we already paid.
WAITRESS: No you didn't.
CYRAN: Yes we did.
WAITRESS: No, you didn't!
STRAVO: *makes hypnotic passes* This meal is on the house.
WAITRESS: *getting mad* Listen, you guys nearly cleared out the storage bins! You ate more than our average dinner hour does! One of you is gonna pay!
*KUJA roughly sets his sledgehammer down on the table, hard enough to make the dishes and glasses rattle and causing the WAITRESS to jump, surprised*
KUJA: My trusty sledgehammer says we don't need to.
WAITRESS: Your trusty sledgehammer is an idiot.
CYRAN: LET HER LIVE, KUJA, LET HER LIVE!
*a MANAGER walks up to the table*
MANAGER: Is there a problem?
WAITRESS: Yeah, these guys won't-
KUJA: -give her a tip.
*the WAITRESS glares at KUJA for this interruption*
MANAGER: *angry* You're making all this fuss over not getting a tip?
WAITRESS: No! I-
MANAGER: Oh, get back to work!
*the WAITRESS slumps and leaves*
MANAGER: I'm very sorry about that, gentlemen. Consider your meal a gift from our establishment.
KUJA: That's very gracious of you. We accept.
*the three leave*
CYRAN: Close one.
KUJA: *feels around his pockets* Well, how about that, I had a twenty-dollar bill the whole time!
STRAVO: *sigh* Well, I'm glad that worked out. *under his breath* But what happened to Rob?
*cut to: DALTON still in his car, in yet another part of Manhattan*
DALTON: I am so lost.
*fade out*
*fade in: STRAVO running down another street. KUJA'S Mustang is about forty feet behind and gaining. CYRAN is still leaning out the window, firing randomly*
KUJA: Cyran!
CYRAN: Yo!
KUJA: Get ready to tackle him!
CYRAN: All right!
*Cyran drops the Uzi onto his seat and braces himself for a jump. STRAVO is looking valiantly for a place to run, but sees nowhere to go. As the Mustang draws even with him, CYRAN launches himself out the window with a bloodcurdling scream. STRAVO sees him coming and throws himself to the ground. CYRAN'S scream changes to one of terror as he flies over STRAVO and slams into the window of a store*
KUJA: Ouch. That didn't look pleasant.
*STRAVO hauls himself to his feet and watches as CYRAN slowly slides to the ground*
STRAVO: Are you OK?
CYRAN: *strained* Why'd it have to be a health food store? Why couldn't I slam into the front of a porno shop or a gun store?
*there is a squeal of brakes as KUJA brings the Mustang to a stop, then turns around and drives back to where STRAVO and CYRAN are. As he reaches them, KUJA dives out the door, leaving the Mustang to use a brick wall to stop. Curiously enough, the car bounces back from the wall unharmed, as though it were made of rubber. KUJA pulls out his blaster rifle*
KUJA: Got you now!
*STRAVO squawks and dives to the side as KUJA fires a massive blast of energy at him. The bolt misses STRAVO by inches and goes through the window of the health food store, which promptly erupts into flames*
KUJA: Ah, slippery little devil, aren't you?
STRAVO: Rob, where the hell are you?
*cut to: DALTON in his car, surrounded by rush hour traffic. He is leaning on one hand and drumming his fingers on the wheel, waiting for the car in front of him to move*
DRIVER: Speed up, asshole!
DALTON: I can't, jackass! Go stick your head in a bucket of bleach!
DRIVER: Fuck off!
DALTON: Same to you!
*cut to the scene we just left. KUJA has his rifle trained on STRAVO, and CYRAN is slowly climbing to his feet. The health food store is ablaze. Passerby find it interesting enough to glance over at least once before continuing with their daily schedules*
KUJA: Now, are you gonna be a good boy and come with us? Or do I have to get rough?
STRAVO: How about you just leave me alone and go back home?
KUJA: No fun in that.
CYRAN: I bent my Wookiee.
*KUJA glances over at CYRAN. STRAVO takes advantage, leaping forward and planting a fist in KUJA'S face before taking off once again*
KUJA: THAT'S IT! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!
*KUJA pulls out his sledgehammer and dashes off after STRAVO. CYRAN hobbles after both of them. After some time, STRAVO arrives at a small café*
STRAVO: OK, I'm here...now where's Rob?
*cut to: Dalton in his car. He is in a different part of Manhattan now, but is still surrounded by traffic*
DALTON: Why did I agree to this? I'm supposed to meet Stravo at the café? What café? There's dozens of them! And I've never even seen where the guy lives, how am I supposed to find him?
*DALTON hits several buttons on the radio, but nothing happens*
DALTON: *sigh* And now the radio's stuck on one station. What could be worse?
RADIO: Barney is a di-no-saur from our im-ag-in-a-tion!
DALTON: NOOOOOOOOO!
*cut to: the café. KUJA has caught up with STRAVO and is about to hit him with the sledgehammer*
KUJA: SMASH TIME!
STRAVO: Wait a minute!
*KUJA pauses*
STRAVO: Remember how I said I was going to get a drink? This is where I'm buying it.
*CYRAN has finally caught up and is walking semi-normally again*
CYRAN: I thought you said you were going to the kitchen.
*STRAVO gestures to the name of the café: The Kitchen*
KUJA: Oh, OK.
*KUJA and CYRAN follow STRAVO into the café*
KUJA: Hey, as long as we're here, we should get you some brain food, Strav.
*fade out, followed by a fade in on the café several hours later. All three are seated at a table covered by empty plates and glasses*
WAITRESS: So, which one of you gentlemen is paying for this?
ALL THREE: Him!
*KUJA points at CYRAN, CYRAN points at STRAVO, and STRAVO points at KUJA*
WAITRESS: *laughs* Cute, guys. Now, who's paying?
CYRAN: Uh...we already paid.
WAITRESS: No you didn't.
CYRAN: Yes we did.
WAITRESS: No, you didn't!
STRAVO: *makes hypnotic passes* This meal is on the house.
WAITRESS: *getting mad* Listen, you guys nearly cleared out the storage bins! You ate more than our average dinner hour does! One of you is gonna pay!
*KUJA roughly sets his sledgehammer down on the table, hard enough to make the dishes and glasses rattle and causing the WAITRESS to jump, surprised*
KUJA: My trusty sledgehammer says we don't need to.
WAITRESS: Your trusty sledgehammer is an idiot.
CYRAN: LET HER LIVE, KUJA, LET HER LIVE!
*a MANAGER walks up to the table*
MANAGER: Is there a problem?
WAITRESS: Yeah, these guys won't-
KUJA: -give her a tip.
*the WAITRESS glares at KUJA for this interruption*
MANAGER: *angry* You're making all this fuss over not getting a tip?
WAITRESS: No! I-
MANAGER: Oh, get back to work!
*the WAITRESS slumps and leaves*
MANAGER: I'm very sorry about that, gentlemen. Consider your meal a gift from our establishment.
KUJA: That's very gracious of you. We accept.
*the three leave*
CYRAN: Close one.
KUJA: *feels around his pockets* Well, how about that, I had a twenty-dollar bill the whole time!
STRAVO: *sigh* Well, I'm glad that worked out. *under his breath* But what happened to Rob?
*cut to: DALTON still in his car, in yet another part of Manhattan*
DALTON: I am so lost.
*fade out*
Last edited by Kuja on 2003-08-03 07:37pm, edited 3 times in total.
JADAFETWA
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That is sig worthy!IG-88E wrote:CYRAN: I bent my Wookiee.
God, all that was hilarious.
Last edited by Jason von Evil on 2003-05-09 09:00pm, edited 1 time in total.
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I LOVED this part of it. Once again a great chapter Iggy, I don't know how you have the time, dedication, and skill to do this but it is awesome.CYRAN: Uh...we already paid.
WAITRESS: No you didn't.
CYRAN: Yes we did.
WAITRESS: No, you didn't!
STRAVO: *makes hypnotic passes* This meal is on the house.
WAITRESS: *getting mad* Listen, you guys nearly cleared out the storage bins! You ate more than our average dinner hour does! One of you is gonna pay!
*IGGY roughly sets his sledgehammer down on the table, hard enough to make the dishes and glasses rattle and causing the WAITRESS to jump, surprised*
IGGY: My trusty sledgehammer says we don't need to.
WAITRESS: Your trusty sledgehammer is an idiot.
CYRAN: LET HER LIVE, IGGY, LET HER LIVE!
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Yeah, to bad I didn't say it *grumble grumble* Oh well. At least something I, kind of, said is in a sig now...Aya wrote:That is sig worthy!IG-88E wrote:CYRAN: I bent my Wookiee.
God, all that way hilarious.
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Hehehe.. I liked, but I liked the previous chapters better, to be honest.. [shrugs] To each his own, no?
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PART 5: Bribery Works
*fade in on STRAVO'S apartment building, with KUJA'S Mustang parked outside. A voice is heard offscreen*
VOICE: My fruit stand!
*cut to: STRAVO'S living room. STRAVO is again seated at the computer. KUJA sits on the couch, watching CYRAN dig through their traveling bag*
KUJA: Find it yet?
*CYRAN sticks his entire head and both arms into the bag. STRAVO watches out of the corner of his eye*
CYRAN: Nope. I know it's in here somewhere.
*CYRAN pulls out a full-size refrigerator, a picnic table, and a stepladder*
STRAVO: How the hell did you fit all that in a gym bag?
CYRAN: Practice.
STRAVO: No wonder you screamed when it fell on you.
CYRAN: *growls* Don't remind me.
KUJA: Keep looking. It's gotta be in there.
*CYRAN continues searching through the bag while KUJA goes over to the fridge he pulled out and takes out a can of Dr. Pepper. He finishes it in one gulp, the crushes the can and tosses it out the window*
VOICE: Ow!
KUJA: Whoops.
*KUJA sits back down on the couch. STRAVO stands and stretches, then walks over to watch CYRAN*
STRAVO: So, what are you looking for?
CYRAN: *continues rummaging* Something we brought in case you finished the chapter early. Hey, here it is!
*CYRAN stands up. In his hand is a piece of purple paper*
STRAVO: So, what is that thing?
KUJA: Reservation tickets for four at King Steve's Kickass Restaurant.
STRAVO: Never heard of it.
KUJA: Didn't think you would. It's mostly a hangout for, um, special people.
STRAVO: Special like how?
KUJA: Well, mostly traveling Mages, Fighters, and such. MiB agents hang out there once in a while. That kind of thing.
STRAVO: Oh. Is that where we're going for dinner?
KUJA: Yes. On one condition. *STRAVO raises an eyebrow* You've gotta finish the chapter first.
STRAVO: *slumps* You jerk. *he blinks* Wait a minute, you said four reservations, right?
KUJA: You catch on quick. I was thinking that if you finish in time, I could call one of my lady friends to accompany you-
*STRAVO grabs KUJA*
STRAVO: Are you serious?! *KUJA nods* All RIGHT!
*STRAVO dashes over to the computer and begins typing so quickly his hands are nothing more than blurs. After seven seconds, he steps away from the sparking, smoking keyboard and proudly points to the monitor, which is now full of text.*
STRAVO: Done!
CYRAN: Holy shit.
KUJA: Damn, that was quick. OK, go get ready and I'll make my phone call.
*STRAVO nods and heads off to the bedroom. KUJA reaches into his robes and retrieves a cell phone*
CYRAN: So, who are you calling?
KUJA: *dialing* Well, there's only one member of the female persuasion I know who can come on such short notice.
CYRAN: You don't mean... *KUJA nods* But she'll kill you! Remember what you did to her wall?
KUJA: Shut up. *a moment of silence* Hey, it's me...yeah, it's KUJA, don't hang up. *CYRAN groans* I need your help with something...hey, stop laughing, I'm serious!...Anyway, me and Cyran are in New York forcing- *CYRAN kicks KUJA in the shin* -er, encouraging Stravo to write more Starcrossed. Anyway, we promised him dinner and a date tonight...yeah, that's why...no, Cyran and I have a separate table...no, we won't bother you...yes, I promise to remeian sober...you will? Great! I love you I love you I love you! So, how's the wall coming? *KUJA winces* I see.
CYRAN: Does she know where Stravo lives? She can meet us here.
KUJA: Good idea, do you know where Strav lives?...yeah, the big apartement building...well, there was a fruit stand outside, but someone destroyed it...I have no idea who...OK, that's it. I'll see you later. Bye! *KUJA hangs up*
CYRAN: She's gonna kill you, you know.
KUJA: Nah, she loves me.
CYRAN: You want that on your headstone?
KUJA: *winces* OK, so she's still a little sore about the wall, but come on! She's a nice person.
CYRAN: What did you do to her wall anyway?
KUJA: Well, there was a party, I got a little drunk, saw a bug, and I kind of tried to kill it, and...*he trails off*
CYRAN: Hadoken?
KUJA: Hadoken.
CYRAN: Smooth move, train wreck.
KUJA: Enough of the one-liners. Let's go get ready.
*fade out*
*fade in on STRAVO'S apartment building, with KUJA'S Mustang parked outside. A voice is heard offscreen*
VOICE: My fruit stand!
*cut to: STRAVO'S living room. STRAVO is again seated at the computer. KUJA sits on the couch, watching CYRAN dig through their traveling bag*
KUJA: Find it yet?
*CYRAN sticks his entire head and both arms into the bag. STRAVO watches out of the corner of his eye*
CYRAN: Nope. I know it's in here somewhere.
*CYRAN pulls out a full-size refrigerator, a picnic table, and a stepladder*
STRAVO: How the hell did you fit all that in a gym bag?
CYRAN: Practice.
STRAVO: No wonder you screamed when it fell on you.
CYRAN: *growls* Don't remind me.
KUJA: Keep looking. It's gotta be in there.
*CYRAN continues searching through the bag while KUJA goes over to the fridge he pulled out and takes out a can of Dr. Pepper. He finishes it in one gulp, the crushes the can and tosses it out the window*
VOICE: Ow!
KUJA: Whoops.
*KUJA sits back down on the couch. STRAVO stands and stretches, then walks over to watch CYRAN*
STRAVO: So, what are you looking for?
CYRAN: *continues rummaging* Something we brought in case you finished the chapter early. Hey, here it is!
*CYRAN stands up. In his hand is a piece of purple paper*
STRAVO: So, what is that thing?
KUJA: Reservation tickets for four at King Steve's Kickass Restaurant.
STRAVO: Never heard of it.
KUJA: Didn't think you would. It's mostly a hangout for, um, special people.
STRAVO: Special like how?
KUJA: Well, mostly traveling Mages, Fighters, and such. MiB agents hang out there once in a while. That kind of thing.
STRAVO: Oh. Is that where we're going for dinner?
KUJA: Yes. On one condition. *STRAVO raises an eyebrow* You've gotta finish the chapter first.
STRAVO: *slumps* You jerk. *he blinks* Wait a minute, you said four reservations, right?
KUJA: You catch on quick. I was thinking that if you finish in time, I could call one of my lady friends to accompany you-
*STRAVO grabs KUJA*
STRAVO: Are you serious?! *KUJA nods* All RIGHT!
*STRAVO dashes over to the computer and begins typing so quickly his hands are nothing more than blurs. After seven seconds, he steps away from the sparking, smoking keyboard and proudly points to the monitor, which is now full of text.*
STRAVO: Done!
CYRAN: Holy shit.
KUJA: Damn, that was quick. OK, go get ready and I'll make my phone call.
*STRAVO nods and heads off to the bedroom. KUJA reaches into his robes and retrieves a cell phone*
CYRAN: So, who are you calling?
KUJA: *dialing* Well, there's only one member of the female persuasion I know who can come on such short notice.
CYRAN: You don't mean... *KUJA nods* But she'll kill you! Remember what you did to her wall?
KUJA: Shut up. *a moment of silence* Hey, it's me...yeah, it's KUJA, don't hang up. *CYRAN groans* I need your help with something...hey, stop laughing, I'm serious!...Anyway, me and Cyran are in New York forcing- *CYRAN kicks KUJA in the shin* -er, encouraging Stravo to write more Starcrossed. Anyway, we promised him dinner and a date tonight...yeah, that's why...no, Cyran and I have a separate table...no, we won't bother you...yes, I promise to remeian sober...you will? Great! I love you I love you I love you! So, how's the wall coming? *KUJA winces* I see.
CYRAN: Does she know where Stravo lives? She can meet us here.
KUJA: Good idea, do you know where Strav lives?...yeah, the big apartement building...well, there was a fruit stand outside, but someone destroyed it...I have no idea who...OK, that's it. I'll see you later. Bye! *KUJA hangs up*
CYRAN: She's gonna kill you, you know.
KUJA: Nah, she loves me.
CYRAN: You want that on your headstone?
KUJA: *winces* OK, so she's still a little sore about the wall, but come on! She's a nice person.
CYRAN: What did you do to her wall anyway?
KUJA: Well, there was a party, I got a little drunk, saw a bug, and I kind of tried to kill it, and...*he trails off*
CYRAN: Hadoken?
KUJA: Hadoken.
CYRAN: Smooth move, train wreck.
KUJA: Enough of the one-liners. Let's go get ready.
*fade out*
Last edited by Kuja on 2003-08-03 07:38pm, edited 2 times in total.
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THe funniest thing I have ever read without fart jokes.
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-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
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:mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen::mrgreen:-
haas mark
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[grins] This is getting put on Daltonator.net, right, Iggy?
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R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005
Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
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Singular Quartet
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