Revenge of the Jedi (Your version)

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-05-11 02:05pm

OK, your rewrites on (ROJ)

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-05-11 02:30pm

No Ewoks, just normal human rebels (unknown to the alliance) hiding out on Endor. "Jedi Rocks" out. Make Luke a little bit more uber (especially when fighting the Rancor), and show Han having a flashback revealing that Greedo did NOT shoot first.

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-05-11 02:36pm

Durran Korr wrote:and show Han having a flashback revealing that Greedo did NOT shoot first.

Why would you need it. Han never shot first

::::: sticks fingers in ears ::::

LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-05-11 02:39pm

Of course not, Han was clearly delusional in that scene to see Greedo shoot first, so obviously we need to show him coming to this realization.

D.Turtle · Post by **D.Turtle** » 2003-05-11 03:58pm

After Boba Fett drops into the Sarlacc, you can hear blaster shot and see flames coming out of its mouth, as Boba Fett starts blasting the thing apart. However his jet pack is still broken, so he can't get out too quickly :p
Replace Ewoks with wookies. No rear entrance. Frontal assault on the shield generator. Show thousands of wookies advancing on the compound. The AT-AT is taken out by some of those bombs used to blow up the shield generator.
Take out the scene of the fighters taking out the sensor globes of the Executor.
Generally focus the space battle on the capital ships, not on the fighters.
Multiply the number of ships (cap ships and fighters) on each side by about 20.
Add a scene mentioning that the shields surrounding Endor and DS2 are too strong too be penetrated anytime soon.
The first shot of DS2 destroys Home One.
Add a scene of the DS2 commander ordering to destroy Endor in order to escape.
DS2 blows up just as the Superlaser is firing on Endor.

[EDIT] Oh, and it is RETURN of the Jedi [/EDIT]

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2003-05-11 04:40pm

I say.....

Vader corrupts Luke (somehow).

Stormies mow down those Booger Bears in Endor along with the Rebels.

Executor plows through a cluster of Rebel cap ships without sustaining a scratch.

DS2 laser wastes the entire Rebel Fleet.

Lots of Rebels are captured.

You see rockets and crap blowing up the Saarlac after Boba falls into it.

Vader and Luke kills the Emperor.

New Empire controls the Galaxy.

Executor is given a mini-super laser.

Empire wins, good guys loose, finally a HINT OF REALITY!!!!

I become a Grand Admiral.....

Grand Emperor Vader commissions the continual development of new weapons such as mini-super lasers, galaxy guns, etc...

After several years of prosperous reign they discover a wormhole leading to a new galaxy called the Milky Way, oddly humans are present in that galaxy and has a organization known as the United Federation of Planets.

Jim Raynor · Post by **Jim Raynor** » 2003-05-11 05:11pm

1. Ewoks get replaced by Wookies.
2. More capital ships are featured in the space battle, with complete broadsides being shown.
3. Boba Fett gets a respectable defeat. None of that getting killed by a blind guy crap.
4. The concentrated bombardment on the Executor is actually shown.
5. We get to see the communications ship.

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2003-05-11 05:15pm

In the unrated version Leia is topless and has a scene with Mara Jade

meNNis · Post by **meNNis** » 2003-05-11 05:20pm

Typhonis 1 wrote:In the unrated version Leia is topless and has a scene with Mara Jade

Oh yea, and make it REVENGE of the Jedi, as it should have been all along

The Penultimate Ninja · Post by **The Penultimate Ninja** » 2003-05-11 05:55pm

Hot Boba on Jabba action.
The Death Star unloads all its weaponry on Endor.
Instead of using cheesy lightning, the emperor uses his TK to break Luke's fingers.
Boarding actions during the space battle, have some marines stomp on personnel.
Massive surface explosions on the Executor.
Boba Fett is shot in the head accidently, repeatedly, by a blind Han Solo, just to spite his fans.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-05-11 06:15pm

Jim Raynor wrote:1. Ewoks get replaced by Wookies.
2. More capital ships are featured in the space battle, with complete broadsides being shown.
3. Boba Fett gets a respectable defeat. None of that getting killed by a blind guy crap.
4. The concentrated bombardment on the Executor is actually shown.
5. We get to see the communications ship.

Yes. Actually, I'd make the Ewoks like the Wookies, but not actually Wookies. That'd be kinda goofy, having Chewie be so good with technology but having these other Wookies having bows and arrows.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-05-11 06:17pm

I don't know about that; after the horrors of the Holiday Special, I don't think it's worth the risk to put more than one wookie on the screen at a time.

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2003-05-11 06:42pm

Durran Korr wrote:I don't know about that; after the horrors of the Holiday Special, I don't think it's worth the risk to put more than one wookie on the screen at a time.

Why not? Then they could have a victory sing-along after and...ack...let go of my throat!

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-05-11 07:31pm

Howedar wrote:Yes. Actually, I'd make the Ewoks like the Wookies, but not actually Wookies. That'd be kinda goofy, having Chewie be so good with technology but having these other Wookies having bows and arrows.

I actually don't see any problem with having the DS2 built over Kashyyyk. Most of the populace is enslaved and working on the DS2, but there are some Wookiee rebels in the lower levels of the forest, who the Imperials haven't been able to get at yet...

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-05-12 08:06am

The Penultimate Ninja wrote:Hot Boba on Jabba action.

EEK!

Ted C · Post by **Ted C** » 2003-05-12 11:20am

The Yosemite Bear wrote:OK, your rewrites on (ROJ)

All procedes normally until the end of the movie, when the Emperor is slowly frying Luke. Vader is standing behind the Emperor, and Luke is begging his father for help.

Emperor: Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand. Your feeble skills are not match for the power of the Dark Side.

Another blast of lightning, accompanied by screams from Luke

Luke: Father... please...

Vader: ...

Emperor: And now young Skywalker... you will die.

Lightning erupts again, Luke screaming and writhing in pain... he barely has the strength left to twist in agony when the lighting suddenly stops again.

Emperor (weakly): Vader?

The blue blade of Lukes lightsabre is sticking out through the Emperor's chest. The Emperor tries to step forward to get off the blade, but with a quick motion, Vader rips the blade through his chest and sweeps it back, taking off the Emperor's head.

Vader: Now is the time to join me, my son. With the Emperor dead, the Empire will need new leadership. Together, we can be that new leadership. Take my hand, and we will rule the galaxy together...

Pause

Luke: No, father. It can't be that way.

Vader: So be it. Do not expect to survive if we ever meet again.

Vader leaves and escapes, as does Luke. Lando and Wedge successfully destroy the Death Star. Vader gathers the remainder of the Imperial fleet and retreats.

Civil war breaks out in the Empire, as some Moffs refuse to accept Vader as their new leader. Many systems now openly flock to the Rebels. The conflict will continue for many years yet, and eventually, Luke will have to face his father again...

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2003-05-12 12:25pm

ROTJ:
Topless Leia.
Topless Jade.
Jade with Leia. Jade with Luke. Jade with Han. Chewie is operating the camera.

Now, for serious changes:
Make the ewoks more powerful and cool (not like the teddies), but do not remove them! Neither make them Wookies, that would lead to the mentioned SWHS disaster.

The Ewoks must be primitives, but not like Gungans (not that stupid and stupid-looking). Most suitable from what we have seen in Star Wars - something like Jawas.
Make the Empire win in the end. Make Luke die (I actually want him to die, not a big fan of him). Tragically. Make the Falcon explode in the Death Star, but do not make the station explode

Make Endor destroyed with all rebel and ewok scum down there.
Finish with the celebration scene where people watch the public translation of the Rebel annihilation and cheer and rejoice.
LLTE!

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-05-12 12:48pm

Ted C wrote:
The Yosemite Bear wrote:OK, your rewrites on (ROJ)
All procedes normally until the end of the movie, when the Emperor is slowly frying Luke. Vader is standing behind the Emperor, and Luke is begging his father for help.

Emperor: Young fool. Only now, at the end, do you understand. Your feeble skills are not match for the power of the Dark Side.

Another blast of lightning, accompanied by screams from Luke

Luke: Father... please...

Vader: ...

Emperor: And now young Skywalker... you will die.

Lightning erupts again, Luke screaming and writhing in pain... he barely has the strength left to twist in agony when the lighting suddenly stops again.

Emperor (weakly): Vader?

The blue blade of Lukes lightsabre is sticking out through the Emperor's chest. The Emperor tries to step forward to get off the blade, but with a quick motion, Vader rips the blade through his chest and sweeps it back, taking off the Emperor's head.

Vader: Now is the time to join me, my son. With the Emperor dead, the Empire will need new leadership. Together, we can be that new leadership. Take my hand, and we will rule the galaxy together...

Pause

Luke: No, father. It can't be that way.

Vader: So be it. Do not expect to survive if we ever meet again.

Vader leaves and escapes, as does Luke. Lando and Wedge successfully destroy the Death Star. Vader gathers the remainder of the Imperial fleet and retreats.

Civil war breaks out in the Empire, as some Moffs refuse to accept Vader as their new leader. Many systems now openly flock to the Rebels. The conflict will continue for many years yet, and eventually, Luke will have to face his father again...

heh, that would be pretty cool.

my version
replace ewoks with noghri
much, much, bigger space battle
when the sheild goes down, 2 sds start a bdz, but are destroyed before they finish. 20 seconds, top.
boba gets a better finish then tossed by a blindman
possibly get rid of the coruscant celebration. I dunno.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-05-12 08:53pm

The Ewoks don't have to go, just the scenes where they defeat the Stormtroopers. Then, I'd add a good fifteen-plus minutes to the space battle over Endor, adding more capital ships, combat between them, and perhaps a showing off of their sheer firepower. Then, perhaps something to clarify the globes on the ISD bridge were not shield generators, and maybe a better death for the Executor. That's about it.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-05-12 10:04pm

Ugh, all that "Empire Wins!" wanking is stupid.

I like Ted's suggestion, though.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-05-12 10:17pm

Fett either lives, or goes down in battle with a Jedi Master - Luke - instead fo a blind guy with a stick.

No Ewoks, no furry aliens in general. If you must, Wookiees would be fine. But I'd rather had have it been just Rebel commandoes (maybe with some sort of armor and airpower instead of just infantry) against the Imperials at the FRONT door, where they'll duke it out for the shield generator. Maybe some heroic sacrifice like a Rebel commando bonzai charging the compound carrying a bomb and destroying it.

Lots more ships in space. Lots more capship action. The Death Star destroys Endor just before the Rebels kill it, causing massive damage to both sides of the fleet in the oncoming shockwave and debris. If our heros were still on Endor I'd leave up to someone else.

The Vader-Luke-Palpatine thing sounds good the way Ted put it, but frankly, its just fine the way it is anyway.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2003-05-12 10:30pm

phongn wrote:Ugh, all that "Empire Wins!" wanking is stupid.

Hear! Hear!

Rebel til death, Imp scum.

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2003-05-13 04:56am

Leia is not Luke's sister.
Luke gets pissed off at Obi-Wan for lying to him.
We get some indication as to why Luke is so much more powerful now than he was in ESB.
Jabba is made smarter and more mobile.
Han's blindness is permanent and he struggles throughout the movie to find a new purpose now that he can no longer fly a starship.
The gang still hasn't completely forgiven Lando yet.
The Falcon is destroyed in the final battle, with Lando inside.
The inhabitants of Endor are made more menacing and more powerful. Make it clear that they can turn the tide of the battle for whoever they side with, but make it unclear until the end whether they're going to end up fighting for the Empire or the Rebels.
The final battle against the Empire centres on something other than the Death Star. Bringing back the Death Star just made the whole thing a rehash of ANH.
Hot R2D2/C3PO action!

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-05-13 05:15am

Stas Bush wrote:ROTJ:
Topless Leia.
Topless Jade.
Jade with Leia. Jade with Luke. Jade with Han. Chewie is operating the camera.

Why must Chewie operate the camera? I want hot Wookie lovin'

On a different note, I'd like to see the rebellion take more losses like General Calrissian and possibly Admiral Ackbar, but still win, after they start to plow their cap ships into the DS2 in an effort to destroy it, none of this flying to the centre crap.

acesand8s · Post by **acesand8s** » 2003-05-13 10:12pm

No Death Star; it's been done. Personally, I blame DS2 for the superweapon-of-the-week mentality seen in the EU.

The beginning is pretty much the same: Jabba's, Sailbarge, Daghoba.

The Imperial Fleet is still scattered, looking for the Rebels. So the Alliance decides on a bold stroke: Coruscant. The plan is for Han and his team to try to inflitrate the planet to bring down the shield generators and planetary weapons platforms. Then the Rebel fleet will turn the downsized defense forces into rubble and the Imperial Palance (with the Emperor inside) into a very large crater.

The Emperor has forseen this and has laid his trap. The sabotage team arrives and meets up with the local resistance force. Luke goes off on his little quest to turn Vader and the Rebels head for the master control center. The Rebel fleet arrives and we see a small but vicious battle between the Rebels and the Imperials in the outer edge of the system. The Imperials are defeated and flee towards Coruscant, with the Rebels close behind.

Han's force reaches the control center and is surprised by the ambushing Imperial Legion. Imperial forces, complete with AT-AT's, AT-ST's, and stormtroopers that fire accurately kick the crap out of the Rebels. Interspaced with this are scenes of the Rebel fleet closing on Coruscant, passing battered Star Destroyers and escort ships, and Imperial officers acting in an intelligent manner, despite the extreme situation.

When the Rebel fleet arrives in orbit (but remains out of range of the still-active planetary weapons platforms), the other hammer of the Imperial trap falls. An Imperial battlegroup hyperspaces behind the Rebel fleet, complete with the Executor and Interdictor Cruisers. The Rebels fight well, but are forced into range of the planetary batteries.

Luke is taken to the Imperial Palace to meet the Emperor and dear old daddy. On a giant holographic display, he witnesses both battles. Things progress in the same manner as the movie here, except for the end. Vader kills the Emperor with Luke's lightsaber. The Emperor explodes in bluish energy and Vader is thrown backwards into a wall. Vader and Luke have their last goodbye and Luke runs to a speeder to escape.

On the ground, the tide turns after the Rebels that had turned coward arrive, having 'liberated' a warehouse filled with Imperial armor. We see some very cool scenes of walkers fighting each other. Han's armor support blasts open the door to the control center and the Rebels seize control of the shields and planetary weapons batteries.

This comes just in time. Ground based turbolasers and ion cannons have inflicted heavy damage on the Rebel fleet. A Rebel frigate is shown disabled by ion cannon fire slamming into the planetary shield. When the shield falls, the Rebels turn their attention to the Imperial Palace, and vaporize it with a brief orbital bombardment.

On the Imperial ships, some shooting breaks out as crewmen with Rebel sympathies begin to 'express' their political beliefs. With the resultant confusion, the Rebels launch themselves into the midst of the Imperial formation.

On the Executor, Rebel fighters destroy the sensor globes. On the bridge, someone shouts out that they have lost sensors, then someone else mentions the loss of bridge deflectors. An A-Wing slams into the bridge and the vessel begins to dive towards the planet. A few Star Destroyers are in the way and explode in a spectacular fashion. Before it can hit the surface, however, the secondary bridge takes control of the vessel. But the SSD is in the midst of the Rebel fleet and dies in a massive explosion.

With the loss of the Executor and internal struggle, unit cohesiveness breaks down. For five minutes, we see Rebel ships ganging up on individual Imperial ships and butchering them. The Imperials eventually withdraw.

Everyone celebrates the capture of Coruscant. Fans are simply stunned, having witnessed the mother of all space battles.

The End

Wow, that's a lot longer than I thought it would be.

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Revenge of the Jedi (Your version)

Revenge of the Jedi (Your version)

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