Chapter 1 (Trek vs Wars)

Sovereign · Post by **Sovereign** » 2003-05-11 01:23am

I have had problems with Geocities, so be patient when the story loads slowly, thats only if you have 56K, if ya dont, it should load quickly. This is Chapter 1, I am working on the others.

http://www.geocities.com/sovereign_empire/cott001.html

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-05-11 01:59am

Where is the "sucks donkey balls" option? Or are you afraid of people saying it's bad?

Just curiosity, BTW. I haven't read it since you have a shitty geocities page that's hit its daily quota.

Sovereign · Post by **Sovereign** » 2003-05-11 09:26am

Dalton wrote:Where is the "sucks donkey balls" option? Or are you afraid of people saying it's bad?

Just curiosity, BTW. I haven't read it since you have a shitty geocities page that's hit its daily quota.

Actually, there was suposed to be a "It Sucks Ass" option, but it did not show up. I posted this twice by mistake, but the last option did not show up on that one anyways. Oh yeah, I hate the Daily Quota thing too.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-05-11 10:11am

It said "done, but with errors" at the bottom of IE so is:

"I'm General Han Solo. And the real question is who are you"

the last line in the chapter? If it is it's a bit short, but then again i can't really say much given the size of my "fanfic" so far.

Overall i'd say it's not too bad, but i'll have to wait till more of it's up before voting.

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2003-05-11 12:47pm

It's ok. To early to say more than that.
Nit pic: u said "peace" instead of "piece" or have mistaken the context?

Sovereign · Post by **Sovereign** » 2003-05-11 06:12pm

Crazedwraith wrote:It's ok. To early to say more than that.
Nit pic: u said "peace" instead of "piece" or have mistaken the context?

Typo, thanks for pointing that out.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-05-11 07:37pm

Meh, you're decent at descriptive language but your characters need a lot more depth. You're also in desperate need of an editor or spellchecker.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2003-05-12 02:35am

It's ok but I find it hard to follow.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-05-12 02:37am

I'm just wondering why the text is stored as an image, instead of plain text or HTML-formatted text...

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2003-05-12 02:43am

Crayz9000 wrote:I'm just wondering why the text is stored as an image, instead of plain text or HTML-formatted text...

I was thinking the same thing

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2003-05-12 02:48pm

Sovereign wrote:
Crazedwraith wrote:It's ok. To early to say more than that.
Nit pic: u said "peace" instead of "piece" or have mistaken the context?
Typo, thanks for pointing that out.

your welcome

Striderteen · Post by **Striderteen** » 2003-05-12 04:13pm

You state that Han's blaster is a laser; this is incorrect, it's a plasma pistol

Sovereign · Post by **Sovereign** » 2003-05-12 06:31pm

I'm just wondering why the text is stored as an image, instead of plain text or HTML-formatted text...

Well, I wrote it for about an hour and a half (yeah I am slow) and I finally finished it. When I went to save it on the page, Geocities said "ERROR CANNOT FIND FILES" Man that sucked. I was so pissed. So I have to make an Image out of it so I could keep it. I would have just copied it to Microsoft Word, but it would not let me. I am retyping it so I can make take the pic off. I am also writing the other Chapters on paint, too.

You state that Han's blaster is a laser; this is incorrect, it's a plasma pistol

Really? SW.com, just said it was a Heavy Blaster Pistol. I didn't go into too much detail. I just figured hand laser. I can fix it when I retype it.

It's ok but I find it hard to follow.

ok, It starts off where an Enterprise shuttle had crashed on Tatooine. It was sent there to investage, because they are in an area of uncharted space. The shuttles impulse drive was hit by laser fire, with its shields down and crashed. Reese is ok, but Limen is dead. Then Reese was captured by Sand People. Picard sends security team to recover them, and have the new Commander (after Nemesis) to search the city. There is a Bar fight, they meet Han and Chewbacca. then Chapter 2 will start. (Wow, that was short).

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Chapter 1 (Trek vs Wars)

How is the First Chapter?

Chapter 1 (Trek vs Wars)