God's Finally Taking Credit for His Work

BlkbrryTheGreat · Post by **BlkbrryTheGreat** » 2003-05-14 01:42am

Whenever someone does something wrong/evil these days we hear people say "God told me to do it." There are numberous examples of this in action too, Andrea Yates, Osama bin Landen, etc. Quite frankly this makes me quite happy, God's finally become honest and is starting to take credit for his actions again, as he did in the Old Testament. To think that God use to pass of his actions on the Devil by making people think that "The Devil made me do it". I for one am glad that God as taken this step towards artistic and personal responsablility.

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-05-14 02:13am

Good observation. About time that immature brat learned to grow up.

Yuri Prime · Post by **Yuri Prime** » 2003-05-14 02:19am

JediNeophyte wrote:

Good observation. About time that immature brat learned to grow up.

That brings up the question, "should god be spanked, since he's an immature brat?"

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-05-14 02:44am

I think God should have his allowance suspended, sent to his room and made to go without supper.

Batman · Post by **Batman** » 2003-05-14 04:16am

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:I think God should have his allowance suspended, sent to his room and made to go without supper.

Not to mention no TV for a week.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-05-14 08:22am

I think we should vote God out of office in favor of Zuess. He is much cooler. Or Jupiter. Zuess or Jupiter. Same thing anyway...

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-05-14 09:40am

It's 'Zeus'.

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2003-05-14 10:56am

No, he means Dr. Zuess. You know, the author of such books as "Hop on Europ(a)", "Athena K. Rooney, will you Please Go Now?", "Far Beyond Omega", and "If I ran the Circus Maximus."

Newtonian Fury · Post by **Newtonian Fury** » 2003-05-14 12:04pm

I'm happy enough with humans deciding our destinies without outside coercion and threats like "eternal damnation." Mindless subservience has no place in modern society, nor should it ever have a place in the future.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-05-14 12:31pm

Superman wrote:I think we should vote God out of office in favor of Zuess. He is much cooler. Or Jupiter. Zuess or Jupiter. Same thing anyway...

"Thou shall keep shagging holy"

"If thou art a nymph, I must get a blowjob from thee"
"Blessed is he who does not get on my nerves"
"I pity the fool who does not own any of my games: Zeus, Age of Mythology, etc."
"If thou tries to keep me from getting nookie or my son from becoming a hero, thou SHALT FEEL THE WRATH OF MY LIGHTNING BOLT!!!"

Any other commandments, anyone?

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-05-14 12:34pm

Why do I know imagine Samuel L. Jackson as Zeus.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-05-14 12:41pm

neoolong wrote:Why do I know imagine Samuel L. Jackson as Zeus.

INTERIOR: MOUNT OLYMPUS PALACE. POSEIDON and ZEUS are chatting.

"Do you know what they call gyros in Tartarus?"

Queeb Salaron · Post by **Queeb Salaron** » 2003-05-14 01:14pm

Darth Gojira wrote:
neoolong wrote:Why do I know imagine Samuel L. Jackson as Zeus.
INTERIOR: MOUNT OLYMPUS PALACE. POSEIDON and ZEUS are chatting.

"Do you know what they call gyros in Tartarus?"

Bruce Willis as Poseidon:

"Yippe ki-ay, Oedipus."

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-05-14 01:51pm

Darth Gojira wrote:
Superman wrote:I think we should vote God out of office in favor of Zuess. He is much cooler. Or Jupiter. Zuess or Jupiter. Same thing anyway...
"Thou shall keep shagging holy"
"If thou art a nymph, I must get a blowjob from thee"
"Blessed is he who does not get on my nerves"
"I pity the fool who does not own any of my games: Zeus, Age of Mythology, etc."
"If thou tries to keep me from getting nookie or my son from becoming a hero, thou SHALT FEEL THE WRATH OF MY LIGHTNING BOLT!!!"
Any other commandments, anyone?

"Yea, fear thee the Path of my Sandal, lest I booteth thee in thy pooper."
"Passeth me a gyro."
"O ye Nymphs, shirk thee not thine intimate duties; for I, Zeus, standeth not for a stinky pussy. Yucketh."

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-05-14 02:19pm

Bah. I should be elected God. I have lots of qualifications!

And my Commandments will be simple.

1) Don't do harm to others.
2) When in doubt, refer to 1.
3) I'm not kidding around here, don't do harm to others.
4) Yes, Libel, Slander, and Economic Ruin count as harm.
5) You in the back, pay attention. There will be a test.
6) Love each other. Especially if the other is a person you're romantically/sexually attracted to.
7) Fine, fine, you can have one night stands, but it's your fault if you get caught.

Remember Commandment Number 1!
9) I am so not kidding here.
10) Oh yea, keep Sunday holy and don't work. Spend time with your family, make a sand castle or snowman, do something fun.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-05-14 02:30pm

SirNitram wrote:Bah. I should be elected God. I have lots of qualifications!

And my Commandments will be simple.

1) Don't do harm to others.
2) When in doubt, refer to 1.
3) I'm not kidding around here, don't do harm to others.
4) Yes, Libel, Slander, and Economic Ruin count as harm.
5) You in the back, pay attention. There will be a test.
6) Love each other. Especially if the other is a person you're romantically/sexually attracted to.
7) Fine, fine, you can have one night stands, but it's your fault if you get caught.
Remember Commandment Number 1!
9) I am so not kidding here.
10) Oh yea, keep Sunday holy and don't work. Spend time with your family, make a sand castle or snowman, do something fun.

*Worships Nitram*

NapoleonGH · Post by **NapoleonGH** » 2003-05-14 04:01pm

I agree whole heartedly that the rest of you should begin to worship the true gods again.

I personally am endevouring to reform the cult of the divine Iulius Caesar and the cult of Minerva. I am sending an official request to the Pontifex Maximus (aka RC Pope) to have my position of pontiff of these two cults officially recognized.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2003-05-14 04:12pm

NapoleonGH wrote:I agree whole heartedly that the rest of you should begin to worship the true gods again.

I personally am endevouring to reform the cult of the divine Iulius Caesar and the cult of Minerva.

Better.. Cult of Isis.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-05-14 04:16pm

LadyTevar wrote:
NapoleonGH wrote:I agree whole heartedly that the rest of you should begin to worship the true gods again.

I personally am endevouring to reform the cult of the divine Iulius Caesar and the cult of Minerva.

Better.. Cult of Isis.

I, of course, will take command on the Cult Of The Lartes and Potes, since they are the Small Gods, after all.

NapoleonGH · Post by **NapoleonGH** » 2003-05-14 04:20pm

well the Divine Iulius, isnt a massively major god, but I may rather than assuming the position of pontiff of the cult of minerva, alter it to the Cults of the divine Iulius, divine Augustus, and Roma

GonK · Post by **GonK** » 2003-05-14 07:41pm

I personally will continue to worship the holy trinity...

SEX, DRUGS and ROCK 'n' ROLL

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-05-14 08:07pm

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:
Darth Gojira wrote:
Superman wrote:I think we should vote God out of office in favor of Zuess. He is much cooler. Or Jupiter. Zuess or Jupiter. Same thing anyway...
"Thou shall keep shagging holy"
"If thou art a nymph, I must get a blowjob from thee"
"Blessed is he who does not get on my nerves"
"I pity the fool who does not own any of my games: Zeus, Age of Mythology, etc."
"If thou tries to keep me from getting nookie or my son from becoming a hero, thou SHALT FEEL THE WRATH OF MY LIGHTNING BOLT!!!"
Any other commandments, anyone?
"Yea, fear thee the Path of my Sandal, lest I booteth thee in thy pooper."
"Passeth me a gyro."
"O ye Nymphs, shirk thee not thine intimate duties; for I, Zeus, standeth not for a stinky pussy. Yucketh."

ROTFLMAO!!!

BlkbrryTheGreat · Post by **BlkbrryTheGreat** » 2003-05-14 09:39pm

How sad, this thread has turned into spam. Someone lock it please.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-05-14 09:46pm

NapoleonGH wrote:I agree whole heartedly that the rest of you should begin to worship the true gods again.

I personally am endevouring to reform the cult of the divine Iulius Caesar and the cult of Minerva. I am sending an official request to the Pontifex Maximus (aka RC Pope) to have my position of pontiff of these two cults officially recognized.

Alexander.. . Id worship Alexander.

he was the man!

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-05-14 09:46pm

SirNitram wrote:Bah. I should be elected God. I have lots of qualifications!

And my Commandments will be simple.

1) Don't do harm to others.
2) When in doubt, refer to 1.
3) I'm not kidding around here, don't do harm to others.
4) Yes, Libel, Slander, and Economic Ruin count as harm.
5) You in the back, pay attention. There will be a test.
6) Love each other. Especially if the other is a person you're romantically/sexually attracted to.
7) Fine, fine, you can have one night stands, but it's your fault if you get caught.
Remember Commandment Number 1!
9) I am so not kidding here.
10) Oh yea, keep Sunday holy and don't work. Spend time with your family, make a sand castle or snowman, do something fun.

better then most.