How Stravo Got His Groove Back

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-05-14 10:55am

Singular Quartet wrote:
verilon wrote:
Darth Yoshi wrote:Zaia scares me.

Come on, who wouldn't be? I mean, she did horrible things to a black mage! I know plenty of people who would be very afraid of someone who could do that!

Namely, me...

Oh, c'mon, guys, I don't really have a temper like that. *mews* Why be afraid of me? *blinks innocently*

Oh, sorry, I mean:

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-05-14 11:02am

[mew]...

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-14 12:29pm

Zaia wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:
verilon wrote:
Come on, who wouldn't be? I mean, she did horrible things to a black mage! I know plenty of people who would be very afraid of someone who could do that!

Namely, me...

Oh, c'mon, guys, I don't really have a temper like that. *mews* Why be afraid of me? *blinks innocently* Oh, sorry, I mean:

"Hell hath no wraith like a woman scorned."

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-14 12:29pm

PART 7: Mistaken Identity

*fade in on the street outside STRAVO'S apartment building. STRAVO and ZAIA are walking down the sidewalk, with KUJA and CYRAN slightly behind them*

KUJA: So, how long do you think this'll take?

STRAVO: Not too long. *he blinks* Wait a minute. Weren't you bleeding to death a few minutes ago? How the hell did you recover?

KUJA: Because I am *dramatic pause* A BLACK MAGE! *thunder crashes*

STRAVO: Riiiiiiiight.

*the group continues walking for several minutes*

CYRAN: Hey, check it out! A hot dog stand!

KUJA: Let's buy some!

ZAIA: What are you talking about? We're walking to a restaurant for dinner and you want to stop and buy a hot dog?

BOTH: Yeah!

ZAIA: *sigh* Well, I suppose I can't argue with that.

STRAVO: We'll wait.

*KUJA and CYRAN dash over to the hot dog stand, where a man wearing a white robe and turban is cooking hot dogs*

OSAMA BIN LADEN: Hello! Can I help you infid- er, gentlemen?

CYRAN: Two hot dogs, please!

OSAMA: Of course!

*OSAMA turns to make the hot dogs. KUJA frowns and rubs his chin*

KUJA: You look familiar. Have we met before?

OSAMA: I do not believe so. You are not one who is familiar to me. I have only just recently arrived in this place here.

KUJA: Wait...aren't you that Bin Laden guy?

OSAMA: Um, no, of course not!

CYRAN: Then why do you have an AK-47 strapped to your back?

*OSAMA quickly whips the gun off and hides it under the stand*

OSAMA: It is not an AK-47, it is...an...it is a hot dog warmer!

CYRAN: Oh. My mistake.

OSAMA: It is no problem. *under his breath* You foolish American infidel.

*OSAMA finishes making the hot dogs and hands them to CYRAN*

OSAMA: Here you are! Enjoy!

CYRAN: Thanks!

KUJA: Wait a minute! I do know who you are!

*OSAMA reaches for his gun*

KUJA: You're Baghdad Bob! Hey, everyone! It's Baghdad Bob!

*a mob carrying torches and pitchforks appears out of nowhere, surrounds OSAMA, and drags him off*

OSAMA: NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

KUJA: And to think, Baghdad Bob made us hot dogs.

CYRAN: Sweetness.

*they walk back over to STRAVO and ZAIA*

KUJA: Ha ha! You just missed your brush with celebrity!

ZAIA: What are you talking about?

CYRAN: We just met Baghdad Bob! He made us hot dogs!

*STRAVO and ZAIA exchange a glance*

STRAVO: Right, whatever you say.

DALTON: Hey, Stravo!

*everyone turns to see ROB running up the street towards them, a big smile on his face*

DALTON: I found you, I found you, I finally found you!

*DALTON reaches STRAVO and lifts him off the ground in a bear hug. STRAVO'S bones begin to groan under ROB'S hug*

STRAVO: *strained* Um, nice to see you too, Rob.

DALTON: There I was driving all around Manhattan, with kiddie songs playing on my radio, thinking I would never find you, when all of a sudden I look out my window and see the four of you on the sidewalk!

STRAVO: Uh, Rob...

DALTON: I can't believe my luck! Who would've guessed I'd look out just in time to see you?

STRAVO: That's great, Rob. Now can you please set me down?

*DALTON releases STRAVO and steps back*

DALTON: So, where's Kuja and Cyran?

*KUJA and CYRAN step in. CYRAN is still eating his hot dog*

KUJA: Yo.

DALTON: OK then!

*DALTON reaches into his jacket and whips out his ridiculously massive arsenal of various blaster rifles, missile launchers, and other weapons. KUJA and CYRAN scream and turn to run, but accidentally slam into each other*

ZAIA: Rob, no!

*ZAIA grabs DALTON'S arm just as he somehow manages to pull every trigger at once. A massive salvo of beams, bullets, and missiles flies high into the air and detonates in a pretty light show high above New York. DALTON replaces his now-empty guns and turns to ZAIA*

DALTON: Why'd you stop me?

ZAIA: Well...

*KUJA and CYRAN scramble to their feet*

KUJA: What are you, nuts?!

STRAVO: Uh, I kind of hold responsibility for this. When you were chasing me around, I called Dalton and asked him to help me out. *he turns to DALTON* Sorry Rob, but I don't really need your help now. We've reached an agreement.

DALTON: *blinks* You mean...I came all the way out here, wandered around in traffic for hour after hour, listening to music that would make Darth Vader writhe in agony...for nothing?!

STRAVO: Yeah.

*DALTON begins shaking with rage*

DALTON: Now I'm beginning to get really angry...

*DALTON growls as his muscles bulge, veins stand out on his neck, and he begins to get taller. His voice deepens as he continues to grow, and his skin begins to turn green*

STRAVO: Uh oh.

ZAIA: Uh, Strav? What the hell's going on?

*STRAVO grabs ZAIA by the arm*

STRAVO: Don't ask stupid questions, just run!

*the two of them dart off as DALTON'S shirt and jacket are torn to shreds by his expanding frame. KUJA and CYRAN crane their heads back and begin frantically backing away*

CYRAN: Come on Rob, we didn't mean any harm!

KUJA: Y-yeah! This is all a misunderstanding!

*DALTON, now nine feet tall, green-skinned, full of muscle, and shaking in anger, has finished transforming into ROB SMASH*

SMASH: Rob smash you!

KUJA: This is bad.

*scene freezes. Fade out*

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-14 12:30pm

FIRST!!!! Now to read it...

EDIT:

Actually, I believe its just

ROB SMASH!!!

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-05-14 12:57pm

Okay, now that I'm done with Mozilla crapping out on me.. I really liked.. Good work, and keep it up!

Also, you might like this idea, Iggy: The Invasion's second chapter will be up fairly shortly.. Within the next week, if things go right for me..

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-05-14 01:03pm

Muwhahhahahahaha* Go Robby!

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-05-14 01:50pm

LOL

Ahhh, too funny. Love Osama's cameo, and when Iggy and Cyran bump into each other!!

Btw, I think it is just "Rob Smash" too. But I'm sure Dalt will be around soon to clarify if it should be changed or not. Nice work as always, Ig.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-14 01:55pm

I know that it's simply "ROB SMASH!" However, he does say other things in addition to "ROB SMASH!"

Don't worry, you'll see "ROB SMASH!" soon enough.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-14 02:13pm

Osama Bin Ladin, Rob Smash....this can only get better. Do I foresee a general appearance by the famous and infamous of SD.Net? BTW this must really be working since a new chapter of Starcrossed is up.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-05-14 02:25pm

IG-88E wrote:I know that it's simply "ROB SMASH!" However, he does say other things in addition to "ROB SMASH!"

Don't worry, you'll see "ROB SMASH!" soon enough.

Sorry, sorry, sorry....

Strav wrote:Do I foresee a general appearance by the famous and infamous of SD.Net?

So which am I? Famous or infamous?

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-14 02:39pm

Zaia, you should know better hon....there are no labels one can put on you that would be appropriate....well....except maybe for goddess but I digress.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-05-14 06:35pm

ROB SMASH!

Though a target is generally acceptable.

Like ROB SMASH IGGY!

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-05-14 09:29pm

Well, I already know that I am infamous.

As for the chapter, very funny.

IGGY: And to think, Baghdad Bob made us hot dogs.

CYRAN: Sweetness.

Anyway, loved this chapter. And when do I get to stab, blow up, or just in general destroy something?

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-05-15 12:12am

Aya (Laying on the floor, dieing of laughter): Zod...too funny...can't breath...

Iggy: Uh dude, are you ok? *jabs with foot a few times* If you're going to die, can I have your games?

Aya: *Responds by growling and biting Iggy's foot*

Iggy: *Screams and flails foot about, Aya still hanging on*

------

I couldn't resist.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-05-15 09:19am

Stravo wrote:Do I foresee a general appearance by the famous and infamous of SD.Net?

*Pokes head in thread* And the unfamous?

*Clokes and flies off, muttering*
I REALLY should be around more often...

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-15 03:38pm

Pcm979 wrote:
Stravo wrote:Do I foresee a general appearance by the famous and infamous of SD.Net?
*Pokes head in thread* And the unfamous?

*Clokes and flies off, muttering*
I REALLY should be around more often...

I'm around alot, its just hta tno one cares.

This way, I don't have to deal with anybody, because I'm a nobody.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-05-15 09:42pm

Aya wrote:Aya (Laying on the floor, dieing of laughter): Zod...too funny...can't breath...

Iggy: Uh dude, are you ok? *jabs with foot a few times* If you're going to die, can I have your games?

Aya: *Responds by growling and biting Iggy's foot*

Iggy: *Screams and flails foot about, Aya still hanging on*

------

I couldn't resist.

I'll save you Iggy!

*Randomly begins stabbing the area, getting Iggy more than Aya. He eventually stops, leaving Iggy as a bloody mess and Aya relatively unharmed.*

Oops... *Cyran quickly kicks Iggy's body under a rug.* Nothing to see here! Nothing at all!

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-05-15 10:24pm

Singular Quartet wrote:I'm around alot, its just hta tno one cares.

This way, I don't have to deal with anybody, because I'm a nobody.

Well, that's one way to look at it.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-05-15 10:28pm

Singular Quartet wrote:This way, I don't have to deal with anybody, because I'm a nobody.

Don't worry. We'll be nobodies together.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-05-16 12:36am

Captain_Cyran wrote:I'll save you Iggy!

*Randomly begins stabbing the area, getting Iggy more than Aya. He eventually stops, leaving Iggy as a bloody mess and Aya relatively unharmed.*

Oops... *Cyran quickly kicks Iggy's body under a rug.* Nothing to see here! Nothing at all!

Is there a White Mage in the house? We do need more of this and more Perversions, and it wouldn't do to have him just off and die.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-16 12:38am

Mark S wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:This way, I don't have to deal with anybody, because I'm a nobody.
Don't worry. We'll be nobodies together.

Oh for fuck's sake Mark, you are HARDLY a nobody.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-05-16 12:49pm

Captain_Cyran wrote:
Aya wrote:Aya (Laying on the floor, dieing of laughter): Zod...too funny...can't breath...

Iggy: Uh dude, are you ok? *jabs with foot a few times* If you're going to die, can I have your games?

Aya: *Responds by growling and biting Iggy's foot*

Iggy: *Screams and flails foot about, Aya still hanging on*

------

I couldn't resist.
I'll save you Iggy!

*Randomly begins stabbing the area, getting Iggy more than Aya. He eventually stops, leaving Iggy as a bloody mess and Aya relatively unharmed.*

Oops... *Cyran quickly kicks Iggy's body under a rug.* Nothing to see here! Nothing at all!

*Rumages through Iggy's pockets and steals his wallet. Looks around and runs up to Zaia, who slips him his payment. Runs off into the night*

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-16 01:28pm

That's enough, spammers.

UPDATE: I've gone back and given all my chapters names.

UPDATE 2: Here's the newest chapter:

PART 8: Rob Smash Rumble, Pt 1

*fade in on ROB SMASH facing KUJA and CYRAN, both of whom have their weapons drawn*

CYRAN: Why us? How do we always get into these situations?

KUJA: Guess someone upstairs loves us.

SMASH: ROB SMASH!

*SMASH dives forward. KUJA and CYRAN dive out of the way as he crushes the blacktop where they were standing. Both black mages begin dodging back and forth as SMASH attempts to crush them. Camera pans to where ZAIA and STRAVO stand at the front of a large crowd watching*

STRAVO: I bet you twenty bucks that Rob beats the living crap out of 'em!

*ZAIA considers the bet*

ZAIA: OK, you're on!

CYRAN: HEEEEEEEEEYYYYYAAAAAAHHHH!

*CYRAN brings his knife down on ROB'S foot. ROB bellows*

SMASH: Ow! You stab Rob! Make Rob's foot hurt! NOW ROB HURT YOU!

CYRAN: Oh shit.

*SMASH grabs CYRAN in one hand, winds up, and throws him like a baseball*

CYRAN: HAAAAAAAAAAALP!

*CYRAN slams into the side of a building. KUJA dashes up and kneels next to him*

KUJA: Cyran! Are you OK?

CYRAN: *strained* I've just been thrown into a brick wall by a giant green moderator. What do you think?

KUJA: Hang in there.

*KUJA hauls CYRAN to his feet, and the two face SMASH*

KUJA: All right, let's get him!

*Both assume power-up stances. An aura of electricity surrounds CYRAN, while flames appear to engulf KUJA*

CYRAN: Bolt-2!

KUJA: Fire-3!

*A massive cyclone of fire and lightning engulfs ROB SMASH, who disappears with a bellow. KUJA and CYRAN catch their breaths*

CYRAN: Well, at least that's over.

*SMASH reappears, charging forward*

SMASH: ROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!

*CYRAN jumps out of the way, but KUJA isn't quick enough. SMASH lowers his head and crushes him against the wall. The second he pulls back, KUJA flops to the ground*

CYRAN: Kuja! I've got an idea! Keep him busy for a minute!

KUJA: Yeah. No problem.

*CYRAN pulls out his traveling bag and begins digging through it. SMASH begins chasing KUJA around the street. KUJA attempts to hit him with the sledgehammer, but SMASH grabs the head in mid-swing*

SMASH: *evil laugh*

KUJA: Oh no.

*SMASH uses the hammer to fling KUJA high up in the air, then lets him drop to the concrete. As if that weren't bad enough, he then stomps on KUJA*

STRAVO: Yeah! Get him, Rob!

ZAIA: Hang in there, Kuja!

*KUJA manages to scurry away from SMASH and reaches into his robe*

KUJA: It's my turn!

*KUJA pulls out a large bomb from his robes and lights the fuse, then hauls off and throws it*

KUJA: Take this!

*the bomb bounces towards ROB'S feet, then continues rolling down the street*

KUJA: Dammit, I knew I should've cut the fuse.

*the bomb continues rolling down the street. Up ahead, RON JEREMY comes around the corner, talking on a cell phone*

JEREMY: No, look, tell him I won't do it for less than…well, fine! He can get somebody else!

*JEREMY hangs up as KUJA'S bomb rolls to a stop at his feet*

JEREMY: What the fu-

*KUJA'S bomb explodes, destroying everything within a nine-meter radius. Back at the fight, KUJA once again draws his sledgehammer. SMASH bashes his fists together*

SMASH: Now Rob smash Kuja!

KUJA: Bring it on!

*scene freezes. Fade out*

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2003-05-16 01:54pm

1st post! now i read it!

EDIT: i've read it now! LOL! well actually this hasn't made me laugh once but it has got amused smirks a couple of time!