Ah, I forget, you have to be signed in these days to view threads on druzzil ro
His first rant:
One moment, please. I need to collect myself. If I don't, I may just begin by using the phrase, "Fuck fuck MOTHERFUCKERS." Oops, did.
Couple of points I want to address. First off, if you have yet, read this thread with a cut and paste of the most recent additions to the Dev Corner. I'll wait.
Done? Good. Let's get started.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Planes of Power has provided us with valuable insight into the group and guild dynamics that are involved in large scale games. The way that we had expected guilds to advance through the story of Planes of Power has become a roadblock for some guilds, and some members have fallen behind and found it difficult to catch up. Obviously this was not our intention. We want players to play with their friends and guild mates.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got a better idea. How about, instead, you leave the flag system in place and I come over to your houses, hogtie your genitals and secure them to any nearby heavy object, and throw you out of a sixth-story window? Because I've come to the realization I'd rather have the dev team rip out my eyes with rusty forks and then proceed to use the gaping, bleeding wounds as the catch-buckets in a homemade bukkake video than watch these changes go live. Oh, and then I'd like centipedes forced up my urethra. That seems like an experience more pleasant than this. At least give us the common fucking courtesy of a reach-around next time you decide to slip the world's largest roofie into your customer base's punch bowl before luring us back to your den of eniquity to ram us right up the ass with an ungreased wagon axle, forcing us to wear viking helmets while you do so.
If you read this thread from General, entitled "Mobhunter.com: 'Does PoP Suck?' ", you saw me proclaim all flag and key systems to be, and I quote, "gay". I've changed my mind. If you read what I wrote, you'll note I use the Temple of Veeshan as an example as to why flag/keys are unnecesary. But there's a huge, winking flaw in that logic. ToV isn't easy to get to, at least not to your average gimp, who has trouble locating the zone-in to SG, much less navigating the simple path to the far side and managing to avoid wandering dragon-like beings that might seem scary but seem to have the combined powers of perception of, say, the centipedes now jammed up my schlong. Then again, I doubt any of the Special Olympics superstars that drag out server kicking and screaming further into a Hell sculpted of runny elephant shit and bees each and every time they log in would notice if I broke into their houses and set their mothers' hair on fire. And god knows I should, I should've done that twenty years ago, before any of them were born. Oh, well. You never know, I could always go on to build the Terminator.
The mentioned flaw concerns difficulty of travelling to/locating the zone-in of a zone. But it's not hard to find the zone-in for any of the zones that are opening up, is it? I mean, fuck, if they have a hard time locating this new place they intend to infuse with their unique brand of OOC commentary humor ("Hey, guys, THIS GUY'S A FAG! LOLOLOLOL!"), they can jump on this handy dandy internet of ours and download a map patch that'll give them a massive, painstakingly-detailed view of the Plane of Tranquility complete with giant red pirate "X" labelled, "HOMOPHOBIC JOKES AND THOSE INTERESTED IN MASTURBATING TO THE HEAVING PIXELATED BUSOMS OF FRESHLY-REZZED DARK ELVES IN HEAVY NEED AT THIS LOCATION."
I can see it now. Puttering along, minding my own business, happily enjoying an afternoon of take-out chinese and my guildmates' company in Tactics, scrambling to ploot... I mean roll for... the few drops that we manage to see, cruising along to dinging the AA I need to buy Fleet of Foot, because lord knows my ass needs an AA THAT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK, when all of a sudden I see...
RALLOS ZEK SLASHES YOU FOR 19803470981730421870471809174301870417409318704321
POINTS OF DAMAGE BECAUSE YOU'RE A SHIT-FOR-GEAR FUCKING BARD.
...and Jiffy's backside high-tailing it to a distance safe enough to evac himself after becoming the first person to learn how to train The Warlord to do his dark bidding, namely fighting the evil forces of those that dare defile the Temple of Jiffy Zek.
But hey... y'know? That's okay. That's just fine by me. I'm no elitist. I don't think I'm any better than most. But I'll be good and god damned if I'm forced to interact with, much less cooperate with, those that long ago ripped away their skulls and replaced them with overturned yellow mopping buckets upon which they have sketched a squiggly little smiley face and two beady little black ink eyes. Oooooh no.
I'll say this, instead. You'd better hope and pray that this un-nerf to Halls of Honor, and the subsequent change, incorporates some way of stopping me of rounding up every single mob in the zone. Because if it doesn't, I am not responsible for the 180 mob train that will be following at my heels when I stop to wave to you and officially welcome you in for the first time. Hey, it's my first time, too! LOOK HOW FAST I CAN RUN!
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKMURDERDEATHKILL.
his second rant:
That was the condensed, tamed (slightly) version of what I'd originally intended to post. I have a lot of personal frustration boiling over after reading that big ball of shit yarn, and I still do. The original draft included a lot more bard-related ranting which I left out because, well, nobody really cares about bards except bards. Now that I'm here again, though, I will get one of those bard-related thoughts out. Bear with me.
I made this analogy today in guild chat - shaman:beastlord::enchanter:bard. If you don't understand the short form, that's beastlords are to shaman what bards are to enchanters. But yet, in the past year I've seen two beastlord upgrades - the additions of their regen lines and now this MGB addition - but no answer to any of the problems I have as a bard. I don't understand how beastlords get away with posting DPS numbers that are already higher than my own without their pets, but when you factor in their pets, are double, sometimes triple what I put out with ranger buffs twisting my best stuff. I also don't understand how it's legal in the state of California to employ and pay a monkey missing half its fingers due to being entered in monkey knife fights by its previous owner and has a hard time seeing due to one of its eyes being gouged out in said fights and is now obscured by an eye patch, because only a creatue that meets that description would find it more difficult to locate the line of code that reads "SPEED CAP = X" and change X to a higher number than integrate MGB as a BL AA. Both were legitimate complaints. Sometimes, I get tired of being forced to wear the cheerleader outfit when it comes time for everyone to decide that they can fuck with my class for their own personal amusement.
As far as the loot situation is concerned, the placement of my class's loot through this expansion is more out of whack than that girl that sat behind you in Geometry's lazy left eye. There are a few bard-only drops in lower tier planes, but only two - the drums from BoT and the staff from Torment - are any count, and the latter simply for the inherent singing mod, which stacks with all other singing mods. But, on the inverse, there's a kajillion different pieces of bard-only weaponry and instruments in the elemental planes, and all of them are end-game upgrades. The problem being a.) I'll probably not see any of it before everyone I know quits this game and b.) it's clogging up the loot tables of mobs that higher-end guilds are farming. They don't wanna' see Xegony dropping bard-only weapons. Y'know what? If I wasn't a bard? As ashamed as I am to admit, I wouldn't wanna' see it either. How about when you're walking around handing out golden tickets to the Wonka factory, you do me and pretty much everyone else a favor and take some of the shit in the higher-tier planes and stick it on lower-tier boss mobs? Just a thought.
In more personal stuff, I'm frustrated with the changes from the standpoint that myself, along with others in my guild, have managed to convince some of the Syndicate that we can not only do some PoP encounters, but we should. We were a little bit behind everyone else in our PoP progression, choosing for the most part to let members do their own flagging and such, because we're pushing hard to key for the Emporer and hopefully rape Vex Thal until its asshole turns inside out and hangs down like an aardvark's trunk, but lately we've taken to trying out new things, which is something I've been wanting to do for a while. I'm like that kid that would eat cake for breakfast and wash it down with liquidized candy if I could, but my guild is like the steadfast, knows what's best for me parent. I don't wanna' do VT, per se, I hate Luclin, but they do, and they're right in saying we need to, so I try and help out and I'm along for the ride. But finally getting to get a few flags under my belt and flex 'dem skillz out in higher-tier planes with lower populations was like the parents telling me it was okay to eat cake and drink candy on Thursday mornings. Now, there's absolutely no reason for us to do any of the PoP mobs we've been doing, because the loot they drop is going to be inferior to the upgraded versions and the flags we'd get from them will just be given away anyhow in a few weeks time. We might as well wait a few and get it all for free. But after the upgrades, I doubt we'll go back and do fights like Behemoth, which I missed the first time through, or Aerin`Dar, even if the loot does get upgraded, and I'll miss out on the experience of being in some fights that everyone's been claiming were hella' fun.
All said, PoP's been like... eating steak while your girlfriend's under the table showing the boys some love while Die Hard's on the tube and you've got a frosty mug of your favorite brew (GENNY CREAM, GHETTO STYLEE MUFAKKA!) on hand, but at the same time, some weird old dude in a trench coat is standing on a stool next to your dining room chair with his coat open poking you in the ear with his engorged purple monstrosity.
That's how I'd sum up PoP before. How much old man penis in the ear are you willing to tolerate for the highlight of your life? But just when you start thinking, "Man, this isn't cool, this dude's crotch smells like corn chips and I most definately do not have love for penis, much less penis in my ear..." he grabs you by your hair and proceeds to puncture your cranium with his wang, spraying your brain with his not-so-well-aged blend.
Renbeny is very entertaining
