The Devil’s Dictionary

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-05-22 02:34pm

Just picked up this truly aweresome book “The Devil’s Dictionary”

Some of the articles really crack me up..

Here is some examples for ya

History. An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant which are rought about by rules, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools

Amateur. A public nuisance who mistakes taste for skill, and confounds his ambition with his ability

Bachelor. A man whom women are still sampling.

Christian. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbour. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin

YANKEE. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMNYANK.)

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-05-22 03:26pm

That's cool. I just found out its free on the net too (copyright expired):

http://www.alcyone.com/max/lit/devils/

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-05-22 03:34pm

Hehe. Funny. Damnyank.

Kintaro · Post by **Kintaro** » 2003-05-22 04:39pm

I remember reading that back ih high school. Pretty funny.

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2003-05-22 04:52pm

PORTUGUESE, n.pl.
A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.

The first to laugh gets HOSed.

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-05-22 05:01pm

IDIOT, n.
A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

This stuff has the answer to everything!

Kintaro · Post by **Kintaro** » 2003-05-22 05:05pm

I think it was written about a hundred years ago, so we won't understand some of the jokes very well.

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-05-22 06:06pm

Kintaro wrote:I think it was written about a hundred years ago, so we won't understand some of the jokes very well.

Yea but some things is still true

HOMOEOPATHIST, n.
The humorist of the medical profession.

HOMOEOPATHY, n.
A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

Even a 100 years or so ago or so the knew that Homeopathy is a fraud but still stupid people belive in it....

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-05-22 07:42pm

Ambrose Bierce wrote: CONSERVATIVE, n.
A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-05-22 07:50pm

Man, I'm going to have to make some time to read this! Thank you, Faram!