Klingons vs. Ewoks

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2003-05-26 01:07am

If the Klingons decided to try to invade Endor usung their usual arsenal of bat'leths, mek'leths and other various sharp, pointy things, would they be successful?

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-05-26 01:12am

Unless the Klingons use range weaponry, the Ewoks can simply snipe with arrows, or go aerial with rocks. Hey, if it worked on stormtroopers it'll definitely work on Klingons.

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2003-05-26 01:15am

If there are no Rebels around to help the fuzzy critters, they die.

Mutant Headcrab · Post by **Mutant Headcrab** » 2003-05-26 01:18am

Depends on how good Klingons are at climbing trees.

Seriously, if they don't bring ranged weapons, then the klingons will get owned. Ewoks>Stormtroopers>Klingons. This little equation sums it up.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-05-26 01:23am

Mutant Headcrab wrote:Seriously, if they don't bring ranged weapons, then the klingons will get owned. Ewoks>Stormtroopers>Klingons. This little equation sums it up.

Not true. The stormtroopers were beating back the ewoks, despite being surprised and outnumbered, until Chewie jacked the AT-ST.

The Ewoks own the air, meaning they can drop rocks from their gliders. You don't need high tech when gravity is on your side.

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2003-05-26 01:37am

What do you mean the Ewoks were getting killed by the Stormtroopers, only one was killed, and that was when they played the really sad music, all the rest just beat the stromtroopers or ran to their next barbaric weapon.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-05-26 01:39am

In the novelization the stormtroopers were in control of the situation. If you remember, the novel counts in this case because nothing in the movie conclusively contradicts it.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-05-26 02:03am

What are the numbers on each side?

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-05-26 02:10am

I doubt the Ewoks have bows for every one of them, and I also doubt those arrows would be lethal or even disabling without repeated hits. With an equal mass of Klingon's and Ewoks I could still it going either way.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-05-26 02:54am

Ewoks are far better at concealment and arboreal combat than the Klingons. They also have a high aptitude for trap-setting and have actual ranged weaponry. If the Klingons invaded Endor, they'd truly be fucked.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-05-26 07:25am

This is an Imp's brain: normal size
This is a Klingon's brain: Size that would make a dinosaur look like Carl Sagan

Any questions?

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-05-26 09:53am

It's a sad state of affairs when a primative species has more knowledge of combined arms tactics than a space-faring empire, the Ewoks would take it due to air and artillary support, ability to set traps, and their ability to camoflage themselves in the jungle

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2003-05-26 09:59am

The whole presentation of the Endor ground battle was pure propaganda.

If I was in place of Commander Pellar (The commander of the Imperial base on Endor) I would have simply launched TIE Bombers from the landing platform to burn down the surronding forest while my own troops have to retret into sefe terrain.

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2003-05-26 10:31am

But what the Klingons would do with the Ewoks.

Hm...perhaps thier more tech-independent fighting style would give the Klingongs a bonus in that terrain....

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-05-26 10:41am

Well, if they brought their disrupters along I doubt even they will favor climbing up trees to get to the Ewoks to just shooting...

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-05-26 10:51am

JodoForce wrote:Well, if they brought their disrupters along I doubt even they will favor climbing up trees to get to the Ewoks to just shooting...

Except that klingons rarely use their disruptors. They usually just go HTH

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-05-26 10:59am

I know. But like I said, expecting them to try to climb the trees while having rocks thrown on their heads rather than using their disrupters is a bit extreme

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-05-26 11:01am

Oh and BTW Darksider, you're getting slaughtered in TGOD so you better head over there real soon

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-05-26 11:02am

JodoForce wrote:I know. But like I said, expecting them to try to climb the trees while having rocks thrown on their heads rather than using their disrupters is a bit extreme

They arrogently charge at federation officers, who carry long range weaponry (not that long range, but better than a pointy knife) with B'atleth's drawn, i don't think it's that much of a strech

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-05-26 11:03am

JodoForce wrote:Oh and BTW Darksider, you're getting slaughtered in TGOD so you better head over there real soon

??????????????

WHAT THE HELL????????

::::: runs over to TGOD, twin 9mm drawn:::::

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2003-05-26 01:05pm

Man, that would be such a funny battle to watch, or really gorey.

Let's see

Klingon's beam down. There ship leaves orbit.
Klingons charge little bears with sharp sticks
Little bears duck, logs swing down and slam into klingons
all hell breaks loss
The klingons realise they are losing to Teddy bears and finally decide to pull out there disruptors and lie about the battle latter

I'd have to say the klingons is they realised the Ewoks were basically toys with wooden sticks and started shoting at them.

unless the Ewoks have left over working blasters from the Battle of Endor. In that case, the Klingons are all dead meat

Klingon sets to Stovakor, meets Kahless's spirit
"How did you die, brave Klingon warrior?"

Klingon: "I was killed by a 2 foot tall fuzzy bear that had a stolen gun, He shot me before I could hit it with my Battle'h"
Kahless: "You where using your Battle'h when you had a Disruptor!? No wonder we can't conquer the galaxy! That's it, my people need me, I'm going back!"
Klingon: "Sir, they already cloned you?"
Kahless: "Hmmm, I better go find Palpatine and find out his 'move into a clone' trick

Okay, now back to seriousness

I always wondered why the Empire didn't flatten, clear cut and burn everything withing 20 miles of the shield generator, mine the ground and put in Tie Starfighter flights and a more troops on active patrol. Screw this "it's a trap" routine.

Shuttle arrives, Vader senses it, blast it with Ion cannons, and oh look, here's Luke now, with people to torture to turn to the darkside.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-05-26 02:52pm

But then it would've just been the shuttle scene and the battle on the death star. I wonder how the battel would've went with a fully operational deathstar but a dead palpatine...

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2003-05-26 03:22pm

Depends on a few things

If the Endor Shield generator is still operational: Death Star/The Empire
No shields: The Rebels.

Actually, there are so many permutations to the battle of Endor, it's not funny

like

1)- Put shields around the Death Star's reactor, and a few Lancer class frigates there to give the rebels a nasty surprise
2)- The Endor shield generator was for show. The real one is on the Death Star (now THERES a mean trick to play on the rebels)
3)- The imperial fleet decided to engage the rebels anyway.
4)- The Empire was smart and BDZ a 100 mile radius around the shield generators. No more pesky ewoks, but lots of radiation for the rebels to go through
5)- When Vader was taking Luke up in the shuttle, he instead had luke stunned and stuffed in a stasis booth until the battle was over, and was waiting at the back door for the rebel strike force (that's just TOO mean)

Actually, if you stack them....

Oh well, you get the point

Crazedwraith · Post by **Crazedwraith** » 2003-05-26 04:15pm

Solauren wrote:Klingon sets to Stovakor, meets Kahless's spirit
"How did you die, brave Klingon warrior?"

Klingon: "I was killed by a 2 foot tall fuzzy bear that had a stolen gun, He shot me before I could hit it with my Battle'h"
Kahless: "You where using your Battle'h when you had a Disruptor!? No wonder we can't conquer the galaxy! That's it, my people need me, I'm going back!"
Klingon: "Sir, they already cloned you?"
Kahless: "Hmmm, I better go find Palpatine and find out his 'move into a clone' trick

Oh mann thats funny! Sig worthy i'd say!!!!!!!

Solauren · Post by **Solauren** » 2003-05-26 06:42pm

Thank you, Thank you.