I'm gonna be sick

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-05-25 04:12pm

I just read the first two chapters of the STvsSW fanfic at DITL and i need a barf bucket. I wouldn't read another word of that crap if you paid me.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-05-25 04:13pm

You should have read the MST3000ing of the intro instead.

Anyways, old and wrong forum.

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2003-05-25 04:13pm

I just read the first two chapters of the STvsSW fanfic at DITL and i need a barf bucket. I wouldn't read another word of that crap if you paid me.

Is it really SO bad?
Pleas gimme the link and let me see myself. If it IS so bad or worse, I think then I need a barf bucket too.....

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2003-05-25 04:45pm

http://www.ditl.org/
Click on "Recreation" at the bottom of the page, the dumb-fic in question is called "Portal".

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2003-05-25 04:55pm

AARRRRHHH!

*reeetttcchhhh*

Call Amnesty International!

Kintaro · Post by **Kintaro** » 2003-05-25 05:03pm

Remember, it's coming from a guy that says a Starfleet runabout (or shuttle) can withstand a Death Star superlaser blast.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-05-25 05:03pm

Any hax0rs around to blow up his server?

DON'T SAY THAT, EVER AGAIN, OR YOU'LL BE BANNED.~OLRIK

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-05-25 05:40pm

Tribun wrote:
Is it really SO bad?
Pleas gimme the link and let me see myself. If it IS so bad or worse, I think then I need a barf bucket too.....

You will...a few of us insane ones have read it through and through and have wondered...what level of wanking does it require to write this and not bust a gut laughing.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-05-25 05:48pm

I got a head ache after 2 chapters. Thats saying somthing about my tolerance for pain because i've been able to enjoy a few epoisodes of voyager and about 20 minutes of an enterprise episode. Those two chapters vs getting kicked in the nuts... chapters win by a hair but a third and i'd take a kick to the nuts.

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2003-05-25 05:51pm

Remember, it's coming from a guy that says a Starfleet runabout (or shuttle) can withstand a Death Star superlaser blast.

Okay...THAT made my day!

I reality, the runabout would be simly vaporised by the Death Star blast, which is even a lot bigger than a runabout. I can imagine:

Tarkin: "Why did the blast impacted on the planet 0.00000001 Seconds later than calculated?"
Officer: "We think a asteroid crossed the way of the blast. It was simply vaporised. That dlayed the impact."

Oberleutnant · Post by **Oberleutnant** » 2003-05-25 05:51pm

C'mon, "Portal" isn't that bad!

It was the first Star Wars vs Star Trek fic I ever read!

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-05-25 05:56pm

It was the first Star Wars vs Star Trek fic I ever read!

And you stuck with the whole issue after that load of crap, you must have nerves of steel or at the very least the ability to instantly repress any negative memories which will tend to lead to violent outbursts at a later date. Are you a postal worker by any chance?

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-05-25 05:58pm

That first fanfic thing was a quote from ouberleutnant.

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-05-25 06:02pm

Just read the first two chapters, and maybe I'm predjudiced by the high standards of the fanfics over here, but where was the character development, I could have lived with the federation winning by ridiculous and unbelievable factors if there was some form of character development, I'm sure many have said this, but it reads like the author decided that he wanted to write something that would prove that Star Trek would beat everything and anything in Star Wars with no real thought to plot or characters... damn his eyes, damn his britches, damn his duck pond.

I'm not sure I want to read on, I mean, I'm sure it will all get down to a game of Connect 4, which the Federation will win, because the empire is so primitive for a space faring culture that it never discovered board games...

Argh... and I just read further down... did the author ever watch Star Trek? I mean, he couldnt get much further from Picard if he tried...

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2003-05-25 08:24pm

Okay, guys, I'm moving this over to the Fanfic forum on the basis that it marginally ties in to a fanfic (if DITL's "Portal" can be called that). Stravo, if you don't want it there than by all means move it to the HoS or simply close it.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-05-25 08:42pm

Sorry about the hax0r comment. I geuss i forgot that there are actually idiots cruising the web that would think i was serious there and then when he got angry they'd pull some "sd net told me to" bs.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2003-05-25 09:28pm

This story is for enjoyment purposes only - I was trying to write a dramatic and tense bit of fiction, not to depict what I think would actually happen if the USS Enterprise met the Star Wars Empire. In “reality” (strange word to use in this context!), I think that the events here would go MUCH more in Starfleet's favour, but pushing that argument is emphatically NOT what this story is for.

This is in the foreword of the story. I tend to be skepitical about the power level of Star Wars being as powerful compared to star trek ships as this group indicates but we are talking about ships that are several times larger and each tends to have as much firepower as a fleet of Federation vessels even by a skeptic.

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-26 12:21am

Just an aside on Portal, the pain that it caused me is deep and I will be scarred for life but some good came of it. I read Portal first then Conquest. I decided to write one of my own the rest is history. So Portal can be used for good if applied correctly.

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2003-05-26 01:41am

Stravo, do you mean as a "Don't let this happen to you" sort of story?

Setesh · Post by **Setesh** » 2003-05-26 02:44am

FaxModem1 wrote:Stravo, do you mean as a "Don't let this happen to you" sort of story?

Portal is a warning to the next 10 generations that wanking off and writing fanfic at the same time comes with to high a price.

(edit) unless its lesbian porn fanfics

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-05-26 12:40pm

That's it bran damage be damned i'm gonna read it through if it kills me just so that i can laugh at his utter and total stupidity. And did anyone else realize that the soverign's saucer section cannot seperate?

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2003-05-26 01:36pm

Did you all think, that that piece of total trash should get the
"Ultimative Trek-Trash-Stroy"-Award?

Oberleutnant · Post by **Oberleutnant** » 2003-05-26 02:12pm

darthdavid wrote:It was the first Star Wars vs Star Trek fic I ever read!

And you stuck with the whole issue after that load of crap, you must have nerves of steel or at the very least the ability to instantly repress any negative memories which will tend to lead to violent outbursts at a later date. Are you a postal worker by any chance?

I don't know... My military service begins next July and although I'm going to the signal regiment, I will be given an assault rifle. I hope that any repressed memories concerning Portal don't resurface while during the shooting range.

@ Tribun (and everyone else looking for an enjoyment)

Try this one before saying anything about Portal. Conquest is a pile of shit compared to this epic classic that will be remembered in the annals of history as the greatest work of humand mind ever.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-26 02:20pm

Oberleutnant wrote:
darthdavid wrote:It was the first Star Wars vs Star Trek fic I ever read!

And you stuck with the whole issue after that load of crap, you must have nerves of steel or at the very least the ability to instantly repress any negative memories which will tend to lead to violent outbursts at a later date. Are you a postal worker by any chance?

I don't know... My military service begins next July and although I'm going to the signal regiment, I will be given an assault rifle. I hope that any repressed memories concerning Portal don't resurface while during the shooting range.

@ Tribun (and everyone else looking for an enjoyment)

Try this one before saying anything about Portal. Conquest is a pile of shit compared to this epic classic that will be remembered in the annals of history as the greatest work of humand mind ever.

Excuse me while I stop at the thread title's author.

Oberleutnant · Post by **Oberleutnant** » 2003-05-26 02:23pm

After you are finished with that one (which shouldn't take long if you have graduated from the first class of school), here's a funneh
MiSTing of "Second Contact".

Is it still too late to send feedback to the author?

Awesome work! I laughed (almost) as much as while reading "Second Contact" for the first time.