Worst Fanfic?

[The Duchess of Zeon]

The worst fanfics are undoubtedly the atrocious "Portal" and the unspeakably horrid "Star Destroyers Rampant." With lines like:

Let's melt off one meter of crust off the entire planet. I don't
want to say world because some people actually believe its only the
cities.

and

We'll now modify a trick used in Michael Wong's FanFic to
represent how the battle was started. This time, it would be a
composite account from all the Conquest's systems and it will all be in
CAPITALS.

I have to say that SDR is the worst fanfic ever written.

Observe:

"Oh, what can you do? You may like to think that your ship can
melt my planet, but you can't. Other people have misinterpreted your
words. All you can do is blow out our cities and infrastructure, but
you can't melt the Earth, and definitely not before our fleet arrive,"
replied Admiral IXJac.

Amusing...who wrote that?

When it comes to worst fics, It would certainly be Raycav's "porn". It was just...evil. Portal comes a close second, but at least it didn't make me throw up...

P.S.
What, nobody mentioned my work as one of the worst?

Kazuaki Shimazaki. Honestly, SDR reads a bit like a fanfiction version of a badly conceived, badly written, badly shot, badly produced, badly acted, badly edited, and badly dubbed Hong Kong Ninja-fight movie, as opposed to a fanfiction where someone really committed a truly grievous sin like self-insertion or the like.

I mean, come on! Think of this line:

"Oh, what can you do? You may like to think that your ship can
melt my planet, but you can't. Other people have misinterpreted your
words. All you can do is blow out our cities and infrastructure, but
you can't melt the Earth, and definitely not before our fleet arrive,"

Change it to:

"Oh, what can you do? You may like to think that you're some kind of really tough guy, but you're not. Other people have said all kinds of hot air about you. All you can do is toss around my subordinates and break a few windows, but you can't defeat me, and definitely not before the bomb sets off!"

And, of course, Kaz lives in Hong Kong, so...

[Majin Gojira]

I've read and wrote WAY to much Fanfic (most of it crap), but I know of many shitty fics. I've generalized a variety of fics that I avoid like the plague.

'Shipping' -- Any time I see a ship in a fanfic I know it will be of poor quality. Why? Because no matter how good the author is, there will be a scene where they ram down your throat just how "Meant to be" the focal couple is.

Character centric fanfiction -- especially when it comes to certain "Buffy" characters: Willow and Xander Especially. Willow becomes a Pre-fab Mary-Sue. and Xander becomes "DarkXander" or "FanXander"....in other words--Fanwanked.

Don't believe me about Willow? Well, look at this:
http://www.dymphna.net/research/characters.html -- it has shiney graphs!

And this: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=223604 -- Willow + Crossover Ship = Mary Sue Warning Sign. How many want to see Willow and Prof. Snape get together?

I thought so...

http://tth.moonlitpaths.com/storyline/ - You think FF.net is bad, look at this. This is where I learned to hate Willow in Fanfics.

Crossover Power Ups in Fanfics -- I hate them. I hate them so much. I've seen some of the most horrible contrivances done with this.
http://www.wandererverse.com/Wanderer/ -- this being the prime example. Immortal Vampire Slayers, Angel dieing and comming back as a Fucking CROW, "How Cordy got her Amazon Groove" has got to be the worst example of Gratuitous power up EVER. The sad thing is people LIKE the gratuitous Power Ups and Fanwankage

The Hatted Crossover Explination Scene -- Everytime I read it, I cringe as a character acts as "General Exposition".

Pro-Spike/Draco/Quicksilver (X-men Evolution) Fanfics -- I can't stand seeing characters who have been portrayed as Evil suddenly--just because the author has a crush on them--becomes a good person. Spike Being a good guy BEFORE he gets his soul--they even forgive him of his RAPE of Buffy! Draco and Quicksilver NOT being a prick. Worst part is, they all LOOK ALIKE...

Thankfully, there are groups that weed through the dren of bad Fics. One of them that I am a part of it "Better Buffy Fics"
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BetterBuffyFics/

Edit: Added 2 links to Willow-Sue Information and Well Known Willow-Sue Author

[Peregrin Toker]

Kazuaki Shimazaki. Honestly, SDR reads a bit like a fanfiction version of a badly conceived, badly written, badly shot, badly produced, badly acted, badly edited, and badly dubbed Hong Kong Ninja-fight movie, as opposed to a fanfiction where someone really committed a truly grievous sin like self-insertion or the like.

Come on. Those cheesy Hong Kong Phooey Ass-Kicking Marathon (HKPAKM) movies might be silly, but they're funny because they're so bad!! Is there any other reason to see a HKPAKM?

[irishmick79]

Come on. Those cheesy Hong Kong Phooey Ass-Kicking Marathon (HKPAK) movies might be silly, but they're funny because they're so bad!! Is there any other reason to see a HKPAK?

Exactly. Why else would Kung Pow, Enter the Fist be so damn funny? I saw this movie with my girlfriend, and I was laughing so uncontrollably she was looking at me like I had lost my mind.