Do girls who are dating someone flirt more?

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-05-30 10:54am

So I was at this party last night, and I get to talking with this random girl. It was painfully obvious that she was flirting with me (and yeah I was hitting on her too). We were talking for roughly an hour or so, and midway through I found out that not only did she have a boyfriend, but it was his 21st birthday and that this was the whole reason the party was being thrown in the first place. On any other night, I might have tried to take her back to my room (I live right down the hall from this place), but it was the guy's birthday so I decided to just leave early and get some sleep, considering I work at 8 am 5 days a week.

And earlier that day, a girl I'd met at a Memorial Day cookout dropped by to go rollerblading with one of my roommates, and we ended up talking on the couch for 15 minutes or so, and we were both flirting with each other (though less obviously than the other time with the other girl). She also has a boyfriend. She did the little touch-on-the-thigh thing when she left, which I usually take as a subtle hint.

So do girls already dating someone flirt more with other guys? Because the girls who flirt the most with me are always the ones who are already spoken for. Or is it that they may be more comfortable in their relationships, so they try and find guys to be "just friends" and unintentionally come off as flirty?

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-05-30 11:06am

Maybe they flirt with you Durandal because you're a model type guy....enough of this self congratulatory "I'm so hot" thread!!!

Yeah, I noticed that married women are pretty flirty too and seem to enjoy the attention. Quite a few notches on the bedpost with them.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-05-30 11:27am

Hell yes. Married women too. Yesterday, I get "wow, if some lucky girl finds you as nice as I do, she's going to be one lucky woman"... then later in a discussion about some good-looking costumer at a trade show "no, <insert my name> is more my type"....

Very good ego boosters (which I need as I'm rather shy), but I just chuckle, as I'm not that type of guy: Girls with boyfriends are terra incognita, and I keep it that way.

enough of this self congratulatory "I'm so hot" thread!!!

Hey, some of us need this as we don't get it every day!

Post by **AdmiralKanos** » 2003-05-30 11:33am

Do not confuse cause and effect: maybe flirtatious girls are more likely to have a boyfriend, as opposed to girls with boyfriends being more flirtatious.

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-05-30 11:38am

AdmiralKanos wrote:Do not confuse cause and effect: maybe flirtatious girls are more likely to have a boyfriend, as opposed to girls with boyfriends being more flirtatious.

Good point.

But, I suspect it also has something to do with the fact: as nothing really can become of it, they feel more secure doing it. ie. Its just good natured fun.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-05-30 11:41am

Stravo wrote:Maybe they flirt with you Durandal because you're a model type guy

That may be the impression they initially get, but then they ask, "What's your major?"
"Physics."
"Oh ..."
Sometimes they cringe at the thought of that kind of rigorous curriculum at a university, of all places.

....enough of this self congratulatory "I'm so hot" thread!!!

Dammit, how did you discern my true motives?!

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-05-30 11:43am

Durandal wrote:That may be the impression they initially get, but then they ask, "What's your major?"
"Physics."
"Oh ..."

And then they ask you for your cousin's phone number.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-05-30 11:48am

Zaia wrote:
Durandal wrote:That may be the impression they initially get, but then they ask, "What's your major?"
"Physics."
"Oh ..."
And then they ask you for your cousin's phone number.

Oh OW

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-05-30 12:03pm

Incredible

*points to "getting a girl's number thread"*

You have it, Durandal.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-05-30 12:30pm

Zaia wrote:And then they ask you for your cousin's phone number.

I'm dying of laughter. Really.

Vympel wrote:Incredible

*points to "getting a girl's number thread"*

You have it, Durandal.

Have what?

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2003-05-30 12:37pm

Stravo wrote:....enough of this self congratulatory "I'm so hot" thread!!!

Arrow · Post by **Arrow** » 2003-05-30 12:48pm

Zoink wrote:Yesterday, I get "wow, if some lucky girl finds you as nice as I do, she's going to be one lucky woman"... then later in a discussion about some good-looking costumer at a trade show "no, <insert my name> is more my type"....

I get a lot of that from women two or three times my age. Now why no woman my age shows any interest in me (especially when I make know that I'm interested in them) is beyond me...

Yes, I hate threads like this...

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-05-30 01:01pm

Are you trying to depress me?

Acacia · Post by **Acacia** » 2003-05-30 01:20pm

Women flirt for all sorts of reasons. Naturally flirtatious women sometimes do it without even knowing they are. It is sort of a reflex with them.
I hate to break it to you, but just touching your thigh is probably not flirting. Touchy-feely types will touch anyone, a form of connection but not necessarily a come-on.
Women who are "taken" do tend to be more flirtatious. Since they already have a boyfriend they may be more relaxed as it is "safe" because they are off the market. These women also want to know they are still attractive to other men and enjoy any response to their flirting. A smaller minority are in the market to cheat or are planning to end their current relationship soon and are checking out the prospects.
Still feeling attractive is probably the number one reason married women flirt.
Older women are much more confident in themselves and have more experience, which is probably why the poster above may get more attention from them. They also like to see if a younger man could still be attracted by them. They are also more likely to end up in bed with you if the man so desires.

Obviously, these are all generalizations because there are as many motivations as there are women. These are the most likely, though.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-05-30 03:09pm

The short answer is yes.

The longer answer requires understanding that to a girl, flirting is an end in itself, not a means of getting laid (it is also a means of getting free drinks). As far as I understand men, getting laid is the be all and end all of everything in life, so I relaise this concept might be hard to come by.
If you're a single girl, then there's always the possiibility that the guy you're flirting with won't understand how far you want flirting to go, so it is understandable if you want to play it defensive.
If you're taken, then you can always say "sorry, I have a SO" when pushes the line - continually talking about the bloke/bird in question will also make it clear to the flirtee that he's not going get a shag tonight, but if you're offering, yes I'll have another drink

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-05-30 03:15pm

innerbrat wrote:If you're taken, then you can always say "sorry, I have a SO" when pushes the line - continually talking about the bloke/bird in question will also make it clear to the flirtee that he's not going get a shag tonight, but if you're offering, yes I'll have another drink

That's so evil!

That would never work with me...

Where can I send the drink?

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-05-30 04:07pm

innerbrat wrote:The longer answer requires understanding that to a girl, flirting is an end in itself, not a means of getting laid (it is also a means of getting free drinks). As far as I understand men, getting laid is the be all and end all of everything in life, so I relaise this concept might be hard to come by.

Wait ... why would you flirt without the intention of getting laid? This is a foreign concept to me.

PROMETHEUS · Post by **PROMETHEUS** » 2003-05-30 04:14pm

Well, if the flirting means you get a free beer or whatever, then I can see why someone would do that.

Illuminatus Primus · Post by **Illuminatus Primus** » 2003-05-30 04:27pm

Durandal wrote:
innerbrat wrote:The longer answer requires understanding that to a girl, flirting is an end in itself, not a means of getting laid (it is also a means of getting free drinks). As far as I understand men, getting laid is the be all and end all of everything in life, so I relaise this concept might be hard to come by.
Wait ... why would you flirt without the intention of getting laid? This is a foreign concept to me.

I'm with Durandal. My friends-who-are-girls have complained that my usual level of playful flirting with some of them has mysteriously crashed since I started having sex with my girlfriend. And they haven't caught on to why yet.

Stravo wrote:enough of this self congratulatory "I'm so hot" thread!!!

Psh. Stravo, I'd put you up as "Official SD.net Sexual Prowess Boaster" before anyone else.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-06-02 10:04am

PROMETHEUS wrote:Well, if the flirting means you get a free beer or whatever, then I can see why someone would do that.

Girls don't drink beer. They sip it. And leave it 3/4 full on the table.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-06-02 10:24am

Durandal wrote:
PROMETHEUS wrote:Well, if the flirting means you get a free beer or whatever, then I can see why someone would do that.
Girls don't drink beer. They sip it. And leave it 3/4 full on the table.

Bah, maybe you should go drinking with a Woman ine of these days (although not one with IBS like me)

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-06-02 10:29am

Durandal wrote:
PROMETHEUS wrote:Well, if the flirting means you get a free beer or whatever, then I can see why someone would do that.
Girls don't drink beer. They sip it. And leave it 3/4 full on the table.

That's because it tastes like PISS!!!!

Give me a shot of vodka over beer any day, thankyouverymuch. *shudders* Eww.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-06-02 10:34am

Durandal wrote:Girls don't drink beer. They sip it. And leave it 3/4 full on the table.

Bah, tell that to the girls I hung out with back in college. They'd pound back beers like there was no tomorrow. Of course, that was usually after directing an hour-long live show...

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-06-02 11:01am

Zaia wrote: Give me a shot of vodka over beer any day, thankyouverymuch. *shudders* Eww.

You like vodka? Vodka's my favorite drink! (obviously- though by nationality it should by Uzo)

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-06-02 11:14am

Vympel wrote:
Zaia wrote:Give me a shot of vodka over beer any day, thankyouverymuch. *shudders* Eww.
You like vodka? Vodka's my favorite drink! (obviously- though by nationality it should by Uzo)

Ahh, yes, Ando loves Uzo--Chartreuse, I think, is his favourite drink. Never had it myself, so I can't comment.

And yes, I like vodka.