Why don't girls like nice guys?

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-06-02 03:43pm

Won't go into Wedge's scenario except I understand the 'first kiss' syndrome. Seriously I understand mood breaking but I swear some of us guys make it out to be the divine moment(when we kiss her...it'll be like sleeping beauty, and honestly think of the butterflies in your stomach).

I say find a moment...and when you kiss her make it mean something because sometimes it doesn't have to be built up(something TV has shown us it must).

As for the rest...First thing. Like everyone has pointed out self confidence is a very big thing. Vymp probably along with most of my other friends considers me either the Devil or the anamoly(I get girls to ask me out...and only time I felt honest butterflies was in high school...mostly because after 20+ failed sorta relationships of me trying to understand women) I have come to one conclusion.

Have fun with it. If it goers farther congratulations...but don't try to make a relationship without understanding that is what she wants.

If you make it bigger then she wants(I know this one personally)...she will dump you.

The biggest problem also is that some guys percieve that dating will turn into a relationship regardless of the other side. Some women just want to date because they want to have fun(asshole or not). If you want to be more serious try to find out does she want that.

So in the end...guys just talk to them, don't seek out the large breasted ones only, and seriously if she doesn't like you...suck it up and move on. Because sometimes dwelling on things hurt your self image more then anything ever will.

I have now ended my soapbox speech...and now back to eating cold pizza from last night.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-06-02 04:14pm

I don't know about this thing about being nice = being door mat. i can be a large part of how you carry yourself. Nice guys can be very reserved and that doesn't attract the attention of a Lady. Think to the animal kingdom. What animal gets his hole? Always the animal doing somethign different, loud and noticable.

I know from experience. When I was doing my MCP i fell madly for this girl Suzanne. I was nuts about her, she had curley red hair and blue eyes a man could drown in. At first i chalked it up to physical attraction, i added her to my spank bank and tried not to think of her. Then i got to know her. She was amazing, she loved the bands i loved and she had a similar sence of humor etc. Only problem was a guy i know called Ray also fancied her. Mostly he fancied her to annoy me and prove his superiority. I know it and he knows it. Any way both of us vied for her attention. We socialised in the same groups and flirted like frig with her. Ray is a grade A asshole, he has nothing in common with her yet she picked him. Thats not fair. Why did she pick him?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-06-02 04:15pm

Zaia wrote:
Wedge wrote:She just is perfect,
This statement would lead me to believe you are fairly young. High school, possibly? No one is perfect. Perfect for you, perhaps, but not perfect.

You lie. My Rebecca is perfect

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-06-02 04:35pm

Darth Wong wrote:
Zaia wrote:This statement would lead me to believe you are fairly young. High school, possibly? No one is perfect. Perfect for you, perhaps, but not perfect.
You lie. My Rebecca is perfect

LOL

A thousand pardons, Oh Great Master. I stand corrected.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-06-02 04:39pm

I'm seriously hoping that what someone said earlier about women wisening up as they get older is true! I've got plenty of friends and i fancy quite a few of them. I'm pretty sure at least two of them are (probably) going to the same university that i am so i think i might have a chance there.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-06-02 04:49pm

I've given up on women for a while anyway. Thats why I joined GALE Force.

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-06-02 04:51pm

2000AD wrote:I'm seriously hoping that what someone said earlier about women wisening up as they get older is true! I've got plenty of friends and i fancy quite a few of them. I'm pretty sure at least two of them are (probably) going to the same university that i am so i think i might have a chance there.

It is true. Combined with the fact that a womans sex drive peaks much later than guys, this is a good thing, as by the time they are starting to look for a decent guy they are much wilder in bed than they are when they are younger and into assholes.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2003-06-02 05:01pm

Bah, I'm tired of being manipulated by girls who claimed to be my friend. The most recent incident followed the same pattern as the last: I liked her for this whole school year, and then found out that while she told me that she considered me a good friend, respected me, trusted me, etc, that she had been talking behind my back the entire time. Bitch.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-06-02 05:02pm

This seems to be the general response but I'll say it again.

In my experience it's hot chicks that don't like nice guys. I'm a nice guy(and have shyness goin' against me) and I think it's because nice usually goes with shyness that it does it in for us. I also think that the chicks who like nice guys are shy too.

I've had a wide variety of chicks that liked me(all of which I fuck up my chances with). Let me think, one that was really really really hot(ofcourse she hooked up with a dumbass after I kind of pissed her off by misinterpreting her signals), 2 hispanics that had a little meat on them with realy nice HighC to low D tits(one I haven't talked to since 9th grade, the other the same situation as with the hot one), one chick with a nice body, really goofy face that I probly would have been going out with if the class we had together was full semester, one fat chick that I sort of kina dated(loooooooooooooooooooong story) although I never touched her(literally, I don't mean sex, I don't mean any bases, no physical contact) and was a complete and utter lunitic, and two sickly obese chicks that I had absolutely no intrest in, one who was really sexually open.

Maybe its just my experience, but either they are just as shy as we am, or their just FUCKED up people, and thats why it's hard for a nice guy to get a girl.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2003-06-02 06:29pm

My major problem with the female of the species is that when i have alcohol in me, basically every waking moment then, i become brutally honest. I've had a woman 10 years older than me ready to make a man out of me or break me in half trying. She had a tounge stud and every thing. What did i tell her? "Sorry love there are better looking dogs in the street" atleast thats what her roomies and my mate said i said i can't remember. Also I have a low tollerance for self pity, ironic for a man who suffers manic depression i know. If a girl tries to cry on my shoulder and i know she only looking for attention i'd agree with her and offer her the number of my friend Sharon whi is a beauty therepist etc.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-02 06:32pm

Should I change the title to: "Your Romantic Failings, and Advice on How to Make it Better Thread"?

Since that's what it seems to have become.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-06-02 07:20pm

Darth Pounder wrote:I've given up on women for a while anyway. Thats why I joined GALE Force.

To have exclusive uncompeted access to one particular woman?

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-02 07:22pm

innerbrat wrote:To have exclusive uncompeted access to one particular woman?

Whoa, you can get that in GALE Force??

Where do I sign up?

EDIT: Fixed typo which really changed the meaning of this post.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-06-02 07:26pm

I've been having a similar problem. The girls know I'm a nice person, so what do they do? They manipulate me into doing stuff for them. And when I say I can't do it, they say they won't talk to me agian because of it, or some other line of BS.

I think one of my biggest problems is that I'm too obvious about liking them. It seems that I've made it obvious that I would like to go out with them, and they seem to be afraid of me because of it. Of course, that's probably no different from what the guys they do like do, but the thing that must set me apart is that I'm inarticulate and lack any real social skills. It makes conversations real awkward. I might consider myself not attractive enough for them, but then I see the guys they're going out with, and not only are they assholes, but in some cases, I'd consider them to be uglier than I am. Also, I don't know how to hit on women. As I said, I make awkward conversations, and the resulting dialouge looks like a romantic scene from AotC.

I can safely say I fucked up my social life. Luckily, I'll be moving sometime in the Summer, and I'll have to make new friends. Hopefully, I'll come out better. Perhaps get in shape, join the football team, develop a bad B.O., and most importantly, act like an asshole.

Stampede · Post by **Stampede** » 2003-06-03 01:14am

Jadeite wrote:Bah, I'm tired of being manipulated by girls who claimed to be my friend. The most recent incident followed the same pattern as the last: I liked her for this whole school year, and then found out that while she told me that she considered me a good friend, respected me, trusted me, etc, that she had been talking behind my back the entire time. Bitch.

that happened to you too, huh?

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-06-03 01:19am

Look, girls are smart, sexy and desirable and they know it too.

They'll use and abuse you because they know they can.

Nova Andromeda · Post by **Nova Andromeda** » 2003-06-03 02:10am

Zaia wrote:Right, while at the same time all those guys are looking for are Playboy bunnies with DDs. I'd be willing to bet my life that there are more nice girls out there brokenhearted because of shallow men looking for models than there are nice guys who are lonely because the women they love only go after assholes. I'll bet most of those nice guys, if they admitted it to themselves, were only going after the hot chicks, which is why they're unhappy...

-Zaia I'm afraid this is wishful thinking. Women are the gatekeepers. They hold nearly all the keys in the end. They utterly control reproduction. http://www.jaguarwoman.com/mmart108.htm The fact is women simply don't like nice guy features (judging by their actions and not their words). Most nice guys do not exactly screem confidence and power (since they are nice). In addition, girls like to communicate using body language and indirect communication which can be gamed (think "player"). Most nice guys either don't know how to use indirect communication or won't take advantage of it since they are trying to be nice (which is interpreted as weakness). However, most bad guys won't hesitate to take advantage and/or don't come off as weak or unconfident. There are plenty of nice guys out there (you need look no further than this forum) who don't stand a chance in hell because they are nice instead of game players.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-06-03 02:49am

That's the point...I don't care if you're nice or not. In the end are you exuding any sort of confidence?

Confidence is what matters...if you shuffle your feet all the while claiming you're nice. Does it matter?

To a woman's eyes confidence can mean a helluva a lot more then what could be underneath.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-06-03 02:56am

As some others have said, it all depends on what girl you're talking about. Some (who could be called the 'slutty' type, but that would probably offend some people) like "bad guys". Others like other guys.

That said, I've kind of tried to strike a balance between being too nice and being overconfident. I try to be confident; i.e. walk with my back straight, look people in the eye and say what I mean, and not look back... and sensitive when necessary. It seems to be working so far...

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2003-06-03 03:13am

Crayz9000 wrote:As some others have said, it all depends on what girl you're talking about. Some (who could be called the 'slutty' type, but that would probably offend some people) like "bad guys". Others like other guys.

That said, I've kind of tried to strike a balance between being too nice and being overconfident. I try to be confident; i.e. walk with my back straight, look people in the eye and say what I mean, and not look back... and sensitive when necessary. It seems to be working so far...

Bah, Ill be dammned if I will ever be anything other than what I am. Being anything less is false and is no basis for any kind of relationship.
I will be buggered If I will be anything other than me for anyone.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2003-06-03 03:14am

Darth Wong wrote:
Zaia wrote:
Wedge wrote:She just is perfect,
This statement would lead me to believe you are fairly young. High school, possibly? No one is perfect. Perfect for you, perhaps, but not perfect.
You lie. My Rebecca is perfect

She was looking over your shoulder as you wrote that, wasnt she?

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-06-03 03:28am

Stuart Mackey wrote:Bah, Ill be dammned if I will ever be anything other than what I am. Being anything less is false and is no basis for any kind of relationship. I will be buggered If I will be anything other than me for anyone.

Well, that's the other thing. That's just the way I am.

I suppose it has to do with my personality type. I tend to mirror the person I'm with, to a degree.

CaptainChewbacca · Post by **CaptainChewbacca** » 2003-06-03 03:46am

Stuart Mackey wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:
Zaia wrote: This statement would lead me to believe you are fairly young. High school, possibly? No one is perfect. Perfect for you, perhaps, but not perfect.
You lie. My Rebecca is perfect
She was looking over your shoulder as you wrote that, wasnt she?

Nah, she wrote it for him.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-06-03 07:50am

My 2 cents...

Nice guys, while finishing last, can often come out far ahead if you play you're cards right.

That's really all I can think of right now.

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » 2003-06-03 08:22am

Darth Wong wrote: You lie. My Rebecca is perfect

You know, I consider it highly unfair that the person with the least amount of women problems on this board (barring the actual women and various male members for obvious reasons) is the one that runs a well known website that covers what is probably the most female-repellant material known to man.