I Jump Start The Apocalypse!

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-06-03 02:31pm

Ok, i've just had this thought...since what all the doomish judeo-christianic-muslim say about starting the end times....i've decided to label myself messiah and jump start the apocalypse, this includes
:-
Overseeing the building of the third temple in israel (I take along a load of lego bricks and make a tiny lego temple, complete with lego men worshipping)

I will usher in the messianic age of 1000 years, because we all know 1000 years is equal to a day, right? Shouldnt be that hard to cause peace on earth for a day...

only trouble is i can't remember the other prerequisites for armageddon...anyone else know what they are?

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2003-06-03 02:42pm

Rye wrote:only trouble is i can't remember the other prerequisites for armageddon...anyone else know what they are?

You have to schedule it to coinside with the JW's most recent predicted date.

Yogi · Post by **Yogi** » 2003-06-03 03:01pm

Rye wrote:I will usher in the messianic age of 1000 years, because we all know 1000 years is equal to a day, right? Shouldnt be that hard to cause peace on earth for a day...

If you actually CAN cause peace on Earth for a day, you'd HAVE to be God.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-06-03 03:46pm

I don't care when it's scheduled, you go right ahead and do it, Rye! Make the Fundies PH34R!!!

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-06-03 04:28pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:I don't care when it's scheduled, you go right ahead and do it, Rye! Make the Fundies PH34R!!!

Aww thanks einy, as soon as i have the money, and the lego bricks, i'll start fulfillnig prophecy

I'll make you a rear admiral in my messianic army, and the JWs will poo their pants, and god saw that rye's plan was good.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-06-03 04:33pm

you need the 4 horsemen.... and an antichrist. Im thinking Our 4 Horsemen, and maybe Darkstar?

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-03 04:36pm

Rye wrote:Aww thanks einy, as soon as i have the money, and the lego bricks, i'll start fulfillnig prophecy

I'll make you a rear admiral in my messianic army, and the JWs will poo their pants, and god saw that rye's plan was good.

Ah, LEGO Temple, with little LEGO guys worshipping there...that would be funny to see.

And a Rear Admiral? Silly boy, didn't you read Jack Chick's latest? He must be a General. A Jesuit General.

Mitth`raw`nuruodo · Post by **Mitth`raw`nuruodo** » 2003-06-03 04:42pm

YOu wil need stuff for the plagues too, like:
lotz of red food coloring (turning oceans to blood)
fake insects, frogs, etc (kinda self-explanatory)
big umbrella (sun is supposed to get blocked out at some point or another)

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-06-03 09:33pm

I can piss in a lake, does that count?

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-06-03 09:36pm

Cal Wright wrote:I can piss in a lake, does that count?

sure. you miracleized into wine.

bad quality wine. . .

but wine.

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-06-03 09:37pm

Well, considering the French are experts on that shit, and as bad as they smell...

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-06-03 09:38pm

Seeing as I am a Preacher's Kid, I show up and steal all your glory for myself.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-06-04 09:53am

Count me in. I'll wander the strrets of Chicago, gesticulating wildly and screaming "Repent, sinners! The kingdom of Rye is nigh!!! Bow down and worship his rep.(me) or run while you still have that capibility! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!" then get arrested, getting dragged off screaming about the poplace rueing the day...

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-06-04 10:27am

you my friend are going to need some locusts. lots and lots of fucking locusts. and matches because i'm pretty sure there's fire involved...now if you could set the locusts on fire that would be pretty cool.......oh and a seven headed dragon. i think i saw one on Canal street in NYC in front of a store where they sell Ralph Lauren shirts for a dollar. so you're gonna need that.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2003-06-04 12:00pm

The sea must turn red and there has to be an extended period of peace on Earth, and with Bush in charge, that ain't gonnna happen.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-06-04 12:08pm

Rye wrote:Aww thanks einy, as soon as i have the money, and the lego bricks, i'll start fulfillnig prophecy

I'll make you a rear admiral in my messianic army, and the JWs will poo their pants, and god saw that rye's plan was good.

AHHahaAHAHhah, you're going to make Einy a rear admiral in your army? Does no one else see the beauty in that statement?

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-06-04 12:12pm

Zaia wrote:
Rye wrote:Aww thanks einy, as soon as i have the money, and the lego bricks, i'll start fulfillnig prophecy

I'll make you a rear admiral in my messianic army, and the JWs will poo their pants, and god saw that rye's plan was good.
AHHahaAHAHhah, you're going to make Einy a rear admiral in your army? Does no one else see the beauty in that statement?

Actually Einey is quite experienced in deep penetration actions into hostile environments...say what you well but that guy can put up some stiff resistance in tight situations.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-06-04 01:46pm

Mitth'raw'nuruodo wrote:you need the 4 horsemen.... and an antichrist. Im thinking Our 4 Horsemen, and maybe Darkstar?

Go to the races, and kidnap some of the riders. You'll have four horsemen there. Although according to Chick, the Pope is supposed to be one of the horses, so it might not work.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-06-04 01:54pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Mitth'raw'nuruodo wrote:you need the 4 horsemen.... and an antichrist. Im thinking Our 4 Horsemen, and maybe Darkstar?
Go to the races, and kidnap some of the riders. You'll have four horsemen there. Although according to Chick, the Pope is supposed to be one of the horses, so it might not work.

Pfft put the Buddy Christ on one of them, and no one will notice.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-06-05 01:09am

Col. Crackpot wrote:
Zaia wrote:
Rye wrote:Aww thanks einy, as soon as i have the money, and the lego bricks, i'll start fulfillnig prophecy

I'll make you a rear admiral in my messianic army, and the JWs will poo their pants, and god saw that rye's plan was good.
AHHahaAHAHhah, you're going to make Einy a rear admiral in your army? Does no one else see the beauty in that statement?
Actually Einey is quite experienced in deep penetration actions into hostile environments...say what you well but that guy can put up some stiff resistance in tight situations.

Oh nonononononononononono...

"This is my weapon, this is my gun;
This is for killing, this is for fun."

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-06-05 04:38am

How in the fuck are frogs a plague? Seriously. "Oh no! They're eating the locusts sent earilier!"

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-06-05 06:49am

UltraViolence83 wrote:How in the fuck are frogs a plague? Seriously. "Oh no! They're eating the locusts sent earilier!"

mon dieu monsuer! perhaps you are thinking about the wrong kind of frog, oui?

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-06-06 07:37am

EmperorMing wrote:
Col. Crackpot wrote:
Zaia wrote: AHHahaAHAHhah, you're going to make Einy a rear admiral in your army? Does no one else see the beauty in that statement?
Actually Einey is quite experienced in deep penetration actions into hostile environments...say what you well but that guy can put up some stiff resistance in tight situations.
Oh nonononononononononono...

"This is my weapon, this is my gun;
This is for killing, this is for fun."

AUGH! More dick jokes since the "masturbating in public" thread! I hope Batman doesn't see this.....

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I Jump Start The Apocalypse!

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