New Enterprise reviews

[Grand Admiral Thrawn]

he's a liar.

He'd be perfect for Hollywood then.


Anyways, this makes his site worth it:

Archer's Suit
When Captain Archer first put on his spacesuit, little did he know it would absorb his life-energy and become a living entity on its own, much like Spider-man's black costume would later become one of his greatest foes. At first Archer's Suit was very helpful on away missions, even saving the life of Hoshi Sato. But over just a few short episodes Archer's Suit experienced an unstable identity crisis and after attacking Archer, it escaped via ShuttlePod with detailed blueprints of the Enterprise layout. To make matters worst, Archer's Suit is hunted by the Suliban, who would like to obtain these invalueable blueprints. Once Archer's favorite ally, will the suit return once again? And on who's side?

[Joe Momma]

This reminds me of RayCav's "Is Isard Hot?" thread, where a surprising number of SW fans turned out to prefer the rather modest Admiral Daala over the somewhat modelesque Isard.

I'd have voted the same way from a physical standpoint based on the official illos to date. All of the official pictures of Isard tend to make her look like Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmations and I just don't think it's a hot look. Daala's usually shown with a thick mane of free-flowing tresses and fairly attractive face.

I've dated too many psychos to think either of those crazy ladies is hot, though.

As with my "Unattainable Theory," I believe even many well-to-do, handsome men sometimes seek out the more conservative-looking woman because they think she might be:

A--easier to catch
B--easier to "keep," as she knows she's not a model and will "work hard" to keep her man "interested."

At the same time, I've known a few of the model-types to assume that they've done all the work in the relationship by showing up looking hot, which gets boring quickly. But, yeah, I've also heard plenty of guys say things as asinine as, "A girl who looks like that should be grateful to get attention from me," which says volumes more about those guys' insecurities than it does about the girl's appearance (and I'll say as I have before that I think physical attractiveness has a lot more to do with bearing and self-presentation than innate physical qualities, though the latter don't hurt).

Uh, making a half-assed attempt to get back on-topic, I think Blalock would actually look a lot hotter if they gave her something besides those horrible catsuits and that awful haircut (which is weird, because normally the pageboy cut's a turn-on to me). Kirstie Alley in TWOK was a lot more attractive in the relaxed clothes in the turbolift than in that tight uniform of her's. I also wonder at times if Blalock would seem more attractive if I didn't feel like I was having a "She's HOT!" message shoved in my face during some of the episodes.

-- Joe Momma

[Peregrin Toker]

All of the official pictures of Isard tend to make her look like Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmations and I just don't think it's a hot look.

Don't you think Stackpole intended her to look like Cruela deVille?

[Joe Momma]

All of the official pictures of Isard tend to make her look like Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmations and I just don't think it's a hot look.

Don't you think Stackpole intended her to look like Cruela deVille?

In bearing, sure, but I don't think he meant her to look like a dried-up hag.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'd bang Cruella. But I'd insist we do it on a puppy-skin rug.

Trying to steer this back on-topic, I do think the reviews do a decent job of pointing out some of the endemic problems with Enterprise. For example, I have no problem just writing it off as an alternate universe and not worrying about continuity conflicts with the other series, but when the show's internal continuity doesn't hold together, that's a more serious problem.

I'm also willing to write off some of his exagerations for comedic effect, though whether or not they're actually funny is more in the eye of the beholder.

-- Joe Momma

[YT300000]

Trying to steer this back on-topic, I do think the reviews do a decent job of pointing out some of the endemic problems with Enterprise. For example, I have no problem just writing it off as an alternate universe and not worrying about continuity conflicts with the other series, but when the show's internal continuity doesn't hold together, that's a more serious problem.

I'm also willing to write off some of his exagerations for comedic effect, though whether or not they're actually funny is more in the eye of the beholder.

-- Joe Momma

Many of the things are not exaggerations:

And Archer pulls back the curtain to reveal... the super secret Nausicaan storage asteroid!
: Vulcan Spy Array.
: Mallurian mining facility.
: Terra Nova Colony.
: Nausicaan storage asteroid.


Will Archer's uncanny ability to find virtually anything ever end?

[seanrobertson]

Many of the things are not exaggerations:

Who said they all were?

Two straw men so far. I must've hit a nerve in picking on that wannabe.

[Ender]

Plus the Profesor showed us that you can make anything from cocoanuts, palm trees and any mineral he could find. My favorits of course was the radio he made .

Yeah, anything except a patch for the hole in their boat. WTF?

-- Joe Momma

If you were trapped on an island with two beautiful women and your only competition was a fat old guy and a total douchbag who couldn't find his ass ith both hands and a GPS, would you be in a hurry to leave?

[Dalton]

Portions of this thread have been HOSed.

[Typhonis 1]

Wonder hoow many attempts the Professor sabotaged on his own yet Gilligan got the blame?

[EmperorChrostas the Cruel]

Maybe the Professor could make a date rape drug, out of native plants.

Ginger,"My ass hurts, my lips are chapped, and I don't know why!"
Mary Ann, "My underware is on backwards, and is sticky!"

[Tsyroc]

Maybe the Professor could make a date rape drug, out of native plants.

Ginger,"My ass hurts, my lips are chapped, and I don't know why!"
Mary Ann, "My underware is on backwards, and is sticky!"

It's probably a good thing the Skipper and Gilligan were so willing to do what the Professor wanted otherwise I imagine a few people might have died due to some unknown tropical disease.

That still doesn't explain the logic in keeping the Howels around unless they were part of his contigency plan in case they got rescued. It never hurts to have some rich people in your debt.