What if the Great Minds of History were 1SuprJesusFreakist?

SLAM: debunk creationism, pseudoscience, and superstitions. Discuss logic and morality.

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Wicked Pilot
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What if the Great Minds of History were 1SuprJesusFreakist?

Post by Wicked Pilot »

Using the logic of 1SuprJesusFreak I will demonstrate how the some of the great scientific minds of history would have handled the mysteries of their day. Observe:


Alberrt Einstein:

I don't know why light has the same speed in all reference frames. It must be God. I'll go back to perming my hair.
Orville and Wilbur Wright:

I don't know why birds fly. It must be God. I'll stick to making bikes.
Edward Jenner:

I don't know why people who get cowpox are somehow immune to smallpox. It must be God. I'll let the non milking hethens die for their sins.
Galileo Galilei:

I can't explain why Jupiter has it's own satellites, or why we can never see Venus in a full phase. It must be God. I'll just use my telescope to spy on naked women from now on.

Feel free to add your own as you wish.
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Re: What if the Great Minds of History were 1SuprJesusFreaki

Post by Ice »

Wicked Pilot wrote:
Galileo Galilei:

I can't explain why Jupiter has it's own satellites, or why we can never see Venus in a full phase. It must be God. I'll just use my telescope to spy on naked women from now on.
That sounds much more practical, actually. :wink:
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Post by Ted C »

I don't know why patients get infections when I perform surgery after using the outhouse. It must be god. I'll just use the knife I cut the chicken with to perform this operation...
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Post by Raoul Duke, Jr. »

"I don't know why it's all dark and empty out here. It must be God. I think I'll take a nap for a few more aeons."
-God

Okay, I had to.
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Post by Zoink »

Thomas Crapper wrote: I sure wish there was an easy way to get rid of this stinking pile of crap in my toilet everyday. Ah well, must be God's will. I'll go back to shoveling crap.
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Post by Alyrium Denryle »

Hmm...Now how am I going to stop polio? Oh well, it must be Gods will that hundreds of thousands of children are struck down by a degenerative disease.

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Post by Yuri Prime »

"I don't have a clue why water rises when I put things in it. Must be God. Oh well back to preaching and conversions."

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Last edited by Yuri Prime on 2003-06-11 05:16pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Yuri Prime »

"Wow, look at all these elements. I have no idea how they relate to each other. Must be God. Oh well, back to jerking off."

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Post by Stravo »

"Wow, I just realized all men are created equal. Must be God I better write that down." Thomas Jefferson :P
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Post by Yuri Prime »

"An apple fell on my head. Must be God telling me not to sit under apple trees, oh well I think I'll go read my Bible."

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Post by Alyrium Denryle »

Hmm...These test just said that this fossil is 125 million years old....oh well, must be satan trying to trick me, everyone nows the earth is only 6,000 years old
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Post by Alyrium Denryle »

Hmm... I wonder why when I look at a ship on the horizon I see the mast first, or why when i go far south, the north star gets closer to the horizon...could the world be round? No, the bible says that the world is flat. Must be satan trying to trick me.
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Post by Yuri Prime »

"I, 1SuperJesusFreak, a homeschooled 15 year old posess the "Sacred Truth" and eveyone else is wrong, so I'm going to drop into a board of scientists and students and tell them that they're all wrong and I'm writing a paper to disprove their flawed ideals. In all reality, I don't even know what I'm writing about, but I'm disconnected from reality, so that's ok."
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Post by Yuri Prime »

Captain: What Happen?
Mechanic: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Captain: Must be God telling us to surrender to Cats..

:D
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Post by 1SuprJesusFreak »

Funny, guys. Be the way Yuri, I'm 16. All of those thinks could have been and have been explained (duh). But you will never (if you do I give you full rights to kill me if I'm still living and do whatever you want with the body) find a scientific answer for the very first living thing. You will never learn where that first spark of life came from without looking to the Bible.
May God bless,
~1SuprJesusFreak
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Post by Yuri Prime »

1SuprJesusFreak wrote:You will never learn where that first spark of life came from without looking to the Bible.
Did you really type that with a straight face?
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Post by Alyrium Denryle »

1SuprJesusFreak wrote:Funny, guys. Be the way Yuri, I'm 16. All of those thinks could have been and have been explained (duh). But you will never (if you do I give you full rights to kill me if I'm still living and do whatever you want with the body) find a scientific answer for the very first living thing. You will never learn where that first spark of life came from without looking to the Bible.
All life is is a complex series of chemical reactions. Chemical reactions that would take place on their own. No divine spark was required.
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Post by neoolong »

1SuprJesusFreak wrote:Funny, guys. Be the way Yuri, I'm 16. All of those thinks could have been and have been explained (duh). But you will never (if you do I give you full rights to kill me if I'm still living and do whatever you want with the body) find a scientific answer for the very first living thing. You will never learn where that first spark of life came from without looking to the Bible.
Define in scientific terms what you mean by "first spark of life."
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Post by InnerBrat »

1SuprJesusFreak wrote: Be the way Yuri, I'm 16.
And therefore, Yuri, I know everythign and way more than you and everything you said is invalidated. SO NYAH!!!!! :P :P :P :P :P
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Post by Enforcer Talen »

Alyrium Denryle wrote:
1SuprJesusFreak wrote:Funny, guys. Be the way Yuri, I'm 16. All of those thinks could have been and have been explained (duh). But you will never (if you do I give you full rights to kill me if I'm still living and do whatever you want with the body) find a scientific answer for the very first living thing. You will never learn where that first spark of life came from without looking to the Bible.
All life is is a complex series of chemical reactions. Chemical reactions that would take place on their own. No divine spark was required.
Besides, creationist statistics are nonsense. In 1953, Miller and Urey demonstrated that primeval chemicals and lightning would spontaneously produce amino acids despite the dire statistical predictions of creationists. In 1982, Thomas Cech of the University of Colorado demonstrated that primitive RNA molecules could reproduce without outside assistance or special enzymes, despite the dire statistical predictions of creationists (he would win the Nobel prize for this). What makes you trust the dire predictions of creationists now?

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Post by SirNitram »

1SuprJesusFreak wrote:Funny, guys. Be the way Yuri, I'm 16. All of those thinks could have been and have been explained (duh). But you will never (if you do I give you full rights to kill me if I'm still living and do whatever you want with the body) find a scientific answer for the very first living thing. You will never learn where that first spark of life came from without looking to the Bible.
Well, we won't find it in the Bible. It doesn't explain where God, possessor of the first spark of life, comes from.

Now, Roman mythology does explain where the first spark of life comes from. So I'll laugh at you.
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Post by GrandMasterTerwynn »

1SuprJesusFreak wrote:Funny, guys. Be the way Yuri, I'm 16. All of those thinks could have been and have been explained (duh). But you will never (if you do I give you full rights to kill me if I'm still living and do whatever you want with the body) find a scientific answer for the very first living thing. You will never learn where that first spark of life came from without looking to the Bible.
This isn't somebody's funny idea of a troll drill is it? Let's review the facts shall we?

A) Complex organic molecules seem to form spontaneously inside large molecular clouds.

B) Among these organic molecules are amino acids, and at least one DNA base component.

C) One can create structures resembling very primitive cellular membranes (bubbles of lipid, really) in a laboratory environment.

D) Last year, a team of scientists at the State University of New York managed to sucessfully synthesize a poliovirus without using any sort of natural template.
(For details refer to the journal of the American Association for the Advancement of Science, 9 August, 2002 issue, p. 1016)

E) Note that in none of the previous arguments, I mentioned any sort of God. Neither did I mention the Bible. Furthermore

F) According to the Bible, photosynthesizing plants were created before the light that they rely on. (Gen. 1:14-19)

G) F is completely ludicrous. Furthermore,

H) Flowering plants were created before the animals that they need to fertilize them (Gen 1:1-2:3)

I) This is also an absurdity.

J) Since examining the Bible reveals laughable absurdities, whereas scientific inquiry tends to get it right.

K) One should not rely on the Bible for anything remotely resembling a valid account for the beginning of life. Go read a biology textbook!
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Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

"There is a small missing link between the 160,000 year-old fossil found recently and modern-day man. Therefore, the universe had to have been created exactly 6,000 years ago by a vengeful and benevolent God."

"The amino acids formed by out experiment had to have been God's will!" -Miller and Urey
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Post by Darth Yoshi »

Sorry, Terwynn. Not a drill. Apparently, Alyrium invited him here with mod approval.

Anyway, life forming isn't that far-fetched. When you think about it, all we really are is simply a set of chemical reactions that give off energy. The way that the electrons of various elements arrange themselves limit the types of reactions that take place. Meaning that you will eventually get a reaction conducive to life.
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Post by Lonestar »

innerbrat wrote:
1SuprJesusFreak wrote: Be the way Yuri, I'm 16.
And therefore, Yuri, I know everythign and way more than you and everything you said is invalidated. SO NYAH!!!!! :P :P :P :P :P
He gots a point. When I was 16 I knew more than everyone else.
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