you are made minister of the middle east

[Coyote]

Rye, your plan had me busting up laughing. But one thing--

The theme park needs employees, so keep the blue-collar Israelis and Palestinians, etc, in there and give them snappy aprons and costumes and put them to work at minimum wage so they have something different to grumble about.

People aren't happy unless they're grumbling.

[Darth Yoshi]

I supply everyone in the region with nuclear weaponry. The weapons have a GPS system hardwired which disables warhead the instant it leaves the Middle East. Then I leave the region and enjoy the fireworks.

Or, I could invade and force a cease-fire between the powers of the region. *shrugs*

[phongn]

Involuntary copulatory program of racial deconstruction.

IOW, a forced mass orgy?

[Andrew J.]

And Duchess, you're plan is just silly. No one calls them "atomic" weapons anymore.

It brought to mind Dune. "They've broken every civilized code of conduct in the universe! We have no choice--we'll level those intransigents with atomics!"

Strange, because it made me think of the Foundation series. "The Empire is collapsing-only we possess atomics now."

[UltraViolence83]

Creating a secular democracy in the Middle East is simply not feasable at this point in time, if for the next thousand years.

Here's my plan:

1. Strip all countries in the area of any outside support. No US involvement with Israel or Palestine, and no UN interference at all, not even humanitarian aid.
2. Do nothing. Watch the people kill themselves over a generation or two.
3. Once a particular leader has gained reasonable power to be said that he controls the Middle East, appoint him the King (Sultan?) of the Middle East.
4. Order him to maintain control as he sees fit, as long as the oil keeps flowing.
5. Any transgression outside of his borders will result in destruction of his forces and his rule.

Done. Quite brutal, but I find humanism to be too soft with dealing with volatile people.

[Vympel]

IOW, a forced mass orgy?

Exactly.

[MKSheppard]

From another board I read:

Well, they could do what the Russians did in Grozny, Chechnya the equivalent of Gaza. They just surrounded the whole city and flattened it. Seemed to work. Frankly, in my opinion the Israelis are being too surgical, trying to kill individual terrorists. They just get replaced by another. What Israel needs to do is take out an entire town. Right now this is a war of attrition that the terrorists will win. If the numbers change to 10,000 to one then the Palestinians will come to the peace table. The Palestinians need to pay a higher price for support of Hamas, PIJ or Al Aqsa. I've said it before, half measures in the Middle East make you look weak. The only way to win is with massive retaliation on a biblical scale. Until then, it will be more of the same. I'm not going to go into the route of the conflict because it's a waste of time. Most don't know the history of the Moslem conquest from 5th century and how they treated both Christians and Jews. What matters is not what happened 1000, 100 or 50 years ago, but the facts on the ground now. Israel like it or not is a State. They are at war with a death cult that will never quit as long as half measures are taken, or Israel plays by Western Rules. Until they play by Arab rules they will never win.

[Solauren]

I like the "piss on outside interference" rout personally. Wall them in and let them kill each other if they don't want to behave.

Either that, or make a 10 mile x 100 mile nude image of Roseanne (Barr/Arnold) and fly it over them every day. Once they all go blind from looking at it, violence should drop.

Okay, now seriously.

I think that a program of "if you commit a crime, your family suffers your fate" would work PDQ. I don't just mean wife and kids either. I mean parents, siblings, cousins, etc. Trace back to your grandparents, and then anyone descended from them. You blow up a bus, we execute your family.

I mean, part of the big reason for the bombings during Saddam's reign was he was paying off the families of the bombers, right? Now we reverse it. Instead of paying off your family, we shot them.

Is after an attack, level the source city/region. If someone from "Settlement 18-A" does a suicide bombing, then go in, arrest everyone, bulldoze the settlement.

In other words, do what John Travolta's character in Swordfish wanted to do. Make the price of it two high. "They high-jack a plane, we take out an airport, they kill hostages, we tactically nuke a city" Not tactical nukings, but same over all effect.

i.e
Suicide Bomb a Bus: Your family is dead. Period
Suicide Bomb a Mall: Your family is dead, and your home town is bulldozed.
etc

I still think sending in 3 million+ troops to arrest everyone and basically strip search the region, one country at a time, is an idea.

[weemadando]

I like the "piss on outside interference" rout personally. Wall them in and let them kill each other if they don't want to behave.

Either that, or make a 10 mile x 100 mile nude image of Roseanne (Barr/Arnold) and fly it over them every day. Once they all go blind from looking at it, violence should drop.

Okay, now seriously.

I think that a program of "if you commit a crime, your family suffers your fate" would work PDQ. I don't just mean wife and kids either. I mean parents, siblings, cousins, etc. Trace back to your grandparents, and then anyone descended from them. You blow up a bus, we execute your family.

I mean, part of the big reason for the bombings during Saddam's reign was he was paying off the families of the bombers, right? Now we reverse it. Instead of paying off your family, we shot them.

Is after an attack, level the source city/region. If someone from "Settlement 18-A" does a suicide bombing, then go in, arrest everyone, bulldoze the settlement.

In other words, do what John Travolta's character in Swordfish wanted to do. Make the price of it two high. "They high-jack a plane, we take out an airport, they kill hostages, we tactically nuke a city" Not tactical nukings, but same over all effect.

i.e
Suicide Bomb a Bus: Your family is dead. Period
Suicide Bomb a Mall: Your family is dead, and your home town is bulldozed.
etc

I still think sending in 3 million+ troops to arrest everyone and basically strip search the region, one country at a time, is an idea.

Errr, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but this is roughly what Israeli policy is at the moment. Really fucking effective isn't it.

[Sea Skimmer]

Errr, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but this is roughly what Israeli policy is at the moment. Really fucking effective isn't it.

Israel has the house bulldozing down. But there not gunning down the family inside and taking the rest of the block down along with them nearly often enough. Hell forget the bulldozers and armored infantry. For every Israeli wounded in an attack 100 mortar bombs are fired into a city, for every one-killed 1000 are fired. Then when there's another attack they use 155mm artillery, then 160mm mortars, then multiple rocket launchers and the full weight of the IAF's. If more then four attacks take place, then ground forces move in slowly and reduce whats left of each Palestinian towns block by block will bulldozers and direct fire.

[Rye]

Another idea would be the "Rye Dirty Bomb"(tm) idea..in which you put high-density porn bomb in an airburst over the holy lands, enough to render it uninhabitable for years to come!

Alternatively irradiate the holy lands and the true god will surely look after it's true followers, and they shall inherit the holy glowing lands.

[Solauren]

I know that's Israeli policy. It should be PALESTININ policy with native terrorists.