Its... (Monty Python)

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-06-16 04:37pm

I was going to make this a poll, but there's just so much to choose from. Ok, inspired by the mildy OT stuff in the Coat of Arms thread on A&P, I thought I'd post this-

Name your 5 favourite (as just one is too damn hard...) sketches from all of Monty Python - this may include the records, scenes from the films, and the programs, possibily extending to random BBC Python night sketches and other associated events.

State reasons if you can explain it, if not, then I wouldnt worry too much.

Ok, in no particular order -

1) The Argument Sketch - full version - including Flying Fox of the Yard - as one of the few genuinely funny sketches to come out of series 3/4 - the end 'fourth wall' stuff cracks me up. Always.

2) The Knights Who Say Ni - all bits from across the film - oh, and a classic moment on BBC2 one new years night, showing the Holy Grail, the announcer says 'and now, some very naughty bits indeed, BBC 2, the network that likes to say... NI!

3) The Spanish Inquisition - all bits from the episode - including credit run and soft cushions - my first exposure to Monty Python - classic. And the expression on Michael Palins face when the rack is produced - great stuff

4) The Pirahna Brothers - just for the enormous hedgehog called Spiny Norman - Dinsdale?

5) Probably - the Brian and Pilate first meeting - Biggus Dickus, Incontinentia etc - again - its the expressions and the acting that do it.

Others that didnt quite make the top 5 -
Dead Parrot,
The Rannetes sing Medieval Agrarian History
Word Association Football
The Killer Rabbit and Tim
Lumberjack - of course
Cheese Shop
Philosophers
Four Yorkshiremen

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-06-16 04:48pm

I've only watched Holy Grail, and caught bits and pieces of everything else. However,

The Black Knight
"Come back you Yellow Bastard!!!"

Lancelot storms the castle
"This is supposed to be a joyous occasoin. Let's not bicker o'er who killed who."

Brave Sir Robin
"I soiled my armor I was so scared"

Traveling Mistrel or whatever
"and they were forced to eat Robin's mistrels'. And there was much rejoicing. yay!"

Sir Gallahad
"Oh come on, let me face just a little peril"
"No"
"I bet yoru gay"
"I am not"

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-06-16 04:49pm

The one where John Cleese says:

"I think we should attack the lower classes, first with bombs and rockets, destroying their homes; then mowing them down with machineguns as they run helpless into the streets. I realize this is an unpopular view, but I have never courted popularity."

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-06-16 04:49pm

Damn, cant believe I forgot the Black Knight sketch...

"All right, we'll call it a draw..."

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-06-16 05:04pm

"Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no way for a system of government... Help help im being repressed, violence inherited in the system help help"

"ok i am the messiah now fuck off"

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-06-16 05:13pm

Can someone help me refresh my memory,The Dennis Moore sketch i`m trying to remember the whole song,i just have a few part of it like the ending.

"He steal from the poor and gives to the rich...stupid bitch"

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-06-16 05:18pm

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, galloping through the sward,
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, and his horse Concorde.
He steals from the rich, he gives to the poor,
Mr Moore, Mr Moore, Mr Moore.

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
Riding through the night.
Soon every lupin in the land
Will be in his mighty hand
He steals them from the rich
And gives them to the poor
Mr Moore, Mr Moore, Mr Moore

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
Dumdum alum the night.
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
Dun de dun dum plight.
He steals dumdum dun
And dumdum dum dee
Dennis dun, Dennis dee, dum dun dum

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore,
Riding through the woods.
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
With a bag of things.
He gives to the poor and he takes from the rich
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore

Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore
Without a merry band
He steals from the poor and gives to the rich
Stupid bitch.

Not from memory, I'm afraid, from one of the various sites online...

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-06-16 05:31pm

"sit on my face and tell me that you love me"
I think that is how it goes

Saurencaerthai · Post by **Saurencaerthai** » 2003-06-16 05:52pm

Hungarian tourist (reading from phrase book the entire time): Ah..I will not buy dise rrrecord, eet is skratched.
Tobacconist shop owner: Sorry?
HT: I will not buy this record, it is scratched.
TSO: Uh, no, no, no, this is a tobacconists!
HT: AH!!! I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched!
TSO: Uh, no, no, no, tobacco....ah....Cigarettes! ::Holds up a pack::
HT: Ya! Ya! Ci..ga...ret...ya, ya....ahm.....My hovercraft is full of eels.
TSO: What?
HT: My hovercraft ::Pantomimes putting a cigaret in his mouth:: is full of eels! ::Pantomimes the striking of a match::
TSO: Ah, matches, matches!
HT: Ya! Ya! Ahm....Do you waaaant ::TSO nods listening and waiting for request:: Do you waant to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?
TSO: ::Shocked look:: Um, I don't think you're using that right...
HT: You great poof!
TSO: Um, that will be six and six, please.
HT: ::pointing at TSO, accenting each part of phrase:: If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? I....I am no longer infected!
TSO: Uh, may I ::motioning to see the phrasebook:: uh...
HT: Ya, ya!
TSO: Hrm...it costs six and six ::looks through book:: Ah, here we are: Jandelvase guidenwis Stravenka!

::HT decks TSO::

::Cop perks up, cupping hand to ear in order to hear the sound, then runs for many blocks until he enteres the store::

Cop: Whats going on here, then?
HT: ::to cop from book:: Ah, you have beautiful thighs!
Cop: ::Looks down at thights then looks up:: WHAT?!!
TSO: He hit me!
HT: ::Motioning as he speaks as if to tell the policeman to arrest the owner for his language:: Drop your panties Sir William, I cannot wait 'till Lunchtime!
Cop: RIGHT!!! :: drags HT off by the arm::
HT: ::Indignantly:: My nipples explode with delight!

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-06-16 06:02pm

Saurencaerthai wrote:<snippity snip>

LMAO Ahh, I love that one.

I also love the "Twit of the Year" sketch. And the Prince from 'Swamp Castle'--any part where his father is talking to him. Just about everything in that whole sequence is just too fuckin' funny! I like the bit with his father and the guards too, but I just LOVE the Prince--he's too funny! I'd post some of the lines, but it just won't feel right without his whiny little girlie-voice.

StimNeuro · Post by **StimNeuro** » 2003-06-16 06:55pm

The 'Hide & Go Seek Olympics' sketch is funny. Of course, Lumberjack Song, Killer Rabbit, Cheese Shop, Parrot Sketch, and Erik the Bee score pretty high up there.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-06-16 07:01pm

"The parrot is no more; it has ceased to be!" I love the parrot sketch. Killer rabbit too. Oh oh! And especially the Black Knight from Holy Grail and especially the Knight of Ni!

The Spam song is cool too.
I want spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, bacon, eggs and spam.
*signing* Spam spam spam. Its wonderful spam yes wonderful spa-
SHUT UP! SHUT--UP!

My goodness Monty Python rules.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-06-16 07:02pm

Just remembered another one "Its Bicycle Repairman"

Saurencaerthai · Post by **Saurencaerthai** » 2003-06-16 07:24pm

How to defend against fresh fruit:

"What if they come at us with a pointed stick?"
"SHUT UP!!!"
"What if they come at us with two bannanas?"
::Pause::
"SHUT UP!!!!"

Sporkzen · Post by **Sporkzen** » 2003-06-16 07:47pm

She turned me into a newt!

A newt?

I got better.....

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-06-16 08:25pm

The part in the Holy grail where the huge monster shows up only to be defeated by the animator's heart failure was hilarious.

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-06-16 08:49pm

Mr Smokes-too-much and the travel agency

I used to be able to do that sketch by heart, no more sadly.

"Call the church police!"

"Is that rat tart?"
"Errr, yes."
"Disgusting - RIGHT..."
.
.
.
"Its a fair cop, but society is to blame."

Election Night

Just because -

"You polled nothing. Not a sausage. Do you have any comments?"

The Courtmartial

Its wonderful. And stupid. And grand because of it all.

The Entire "Flying Fox" and "Thompsons Gazelle" of the Yard episode

Whats not to like?

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-06-16 09:01pm

Giant alien blancmanges turning all the English into Scots. Hilarious just for the weird factor.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-06-16 09:03pm

Hey Lumberjack did you start this thread because you like the lumberjack song.

Towlie · Post by **Towlie** » 2003-06-16 10:46pm

Cool it fuhrer cat!

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-06-16 10:55pm

"Hitler in England", "The Black Knight", "The Holy Hand Grenade", and the "Bring out your dead!" sketch are some of my favorites, and the "Twit Olympics" is pretty good, as well.

Larz · Post by **Larz** » 2003-06-17 12:30am

From Memory:

Black Beast of Auuuggghh
"Beware the black beast of Auuuggghhh"
"The Black Beast of Auuuuggghhh?"
"Perhaps he died as he was writing it?"
"Why would he write Auuuuugghhh!"
"Perhaps he was dictating it?"

The Undertaker:
Undertaker: "Bring out your dead, Bring out your dead"
Lad: "Here you go"
Old Man: "I'm not dead yet"

The frenchmens debate about Arthurs horse

The knights of the round table meet God
"What are you doing!"
"Where shading our eyes from your greatness"
"Stop that!"

Hmm, damn, so much Monty Python to love. Well, at least I think I added some that weren't up before.

Amstrad · Post by **Amstrad** » 2003-06-17 02:51am

Oh its so hard.... well, alright. nope, still too hard...

1) Jesus on the Mount - "Shut up big nose!"
2) Dead Parrot
3) Knights of the Round Table
4) Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam
5) Bicycle Repair Man

oh and Holy Hand Grenade
oh and Cheese Shop
oh oh and the Colosseum scene.

Oh, Why must you make me choose??

oh lumberjack song
oh oh oh and is this the right room for an argument?

"On seconds thoughts lets not go to Camelot, it is a silly place."

I just love it all.

Amstrad · Post by **Amstrad** » 2003-06-17 02:54am

weemadando wrote:Mr Smokes-too-much and the travel agency

I used to be able to do that sketch by heart, no more sadly.

Oh, you have just become the most talented person I know.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-06-17 02:59am

I'd have to say I like:

"The funniest joke in the world"
"The system of government"- from Holy Grail
And...
"The argument" sketch, which I eblieve was parodied on the STvsSW board some time back.