Creationist Arguments (funny as hell)

Metrion Cascade · Post by **Metrion Cascade** » 2003-06-16 04:28am

Laughing so hard that milk is coming out of my nose despite the fact that I'm drinking Coke.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-06-16 04:45am

That must be some trick... can you teach me how?

(And I am curious... was it my comment that made you laugh? ~Crosses fingers~)

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-06-16 07:55am

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:
neoolong wrote:
Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:This guy is starting to remind me of Kent Hovind, only without the lame-ass "folksy" angle. He appears to be opting instead for a lame-ass "Professor" angle.
Well that and lying.
No, Hovind does that, too. This guy's really not terribly original.

What do you expect? He's a freakin' creationist! How else do they debate? Intelligently?!

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-06-16 02:28pm

Darth Gojira wrote:
Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:
neoolong wrote: Well that and lying.
No, Hovind does that, too. This guy's really not terribly original.
What do you expect? He's a freakin' creationist! How else do they debate? Intelligently?!

Some of them do put on a better entertainment than others, you must admit. I mean, some of them really put their backs into it. 1StuprJesusGeek just isn't one of them.

Metrion Cascade · Post by **Metrion Cascade** » 2003-06-16 05:55pm

What was your comment? As for fearing women with penises...they probably know how to handle yours...gag...

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-06-16 07:48pm

I almost feel bad for Jesus Freak. He's not coming off like a giant asshole, the way a lot of our fundies have (I'll take him over that sneering little shitstain evilgrey every time). If he ever gets around to posting his "evidence", though, he's going to get steamrollered. He's got no evidence, pisspoor logic, and he's not slick enough to disguise it, but he believes he's right. Oh well. The only way some people learn is by kicks to the ass.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-06-16 08:53pm

RedImperator wrote:I almost feel bad for Jesus Freak. He's not coming off like a giant asshole, the way a lot of our fundies have (I'll take him over that sneering little shitstain evilgrey every time). If he ever gets around to posting his "evidence", though, he's going to get steamrollered. He's got no evidence, pisspoor logic, and he's not slick enough to disguise it, but he believes he's right. Oh well. The only way some people learn is by kicks to the ass.

Sadly, some don't learn even then. Witness GC.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-06-17 04:59am

Metrion Cascade wrote:What was your comment? As for fearing women with penises...they probably know how to handle yours...gag...

Comment was that, using fundie "logic", the movie Mars Attacks! proves that all the world`s monuments have been destroyed.

And as for hermaphrodites, well... no offense to anyone who is, but it`s damn creepy.

Kuroneko · Post by **Kuroneko** » 2003-06-17 06:19am

By far the most convincing argument for God/Creationism I've seen so far is the (apocryphal) one in my sig: "Sir, (a+b^n)/n = x, hence God exists; respond!"

I mean, you just can't argue with the math.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-06-17 07:59am

DPDarkPrimus wrote:
Metrion Cascade wrote:What was your comment?
Comment was that, using fundie "logic", the movie Mars Attacks! proves that all the world`s monuments have been destroyed.

It was my horse. Raoul killed it and you were the merely the second person to flog it.

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-06-17 01:29pm

innerbrat wrote: It was my horse. Raoul killed it and you were the merely the second person to flog it.

I'm sorry about that, Innerbrat, but she was hurtin'. She had to be put down.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-06-18 08:00am

innerbrat wrote:
DPDarkPrimus wrote:
Metrion Cascade wrote:What was your comment?
Comment was that, using fundie "logic", the movie Mars Attacks! proves that all the world`s monuments have been destroyed.
It was my horse. Raoul killed it and you were the merely the second person to flog it.

But you have to admit, my example was the most far-out and rediculous!

Baron Scarpia · Post by **Baron Scarpia** » 2003-06-18 12:52pm

If it's true this fuckwit is home schooled, that's too bad...I would love to see a professor give him an "F" for his complete lack of comprehension of basic science, and his willful ignorance.

Will you post the entire paper here for us? It must be pretty long, because in order to show there isn't any evidence for evolution, you will have to overturn much of known biology, geology, archaeology, anthropology, etc.

Considering no Creationist yet has made a jot of progress here, your doing it would be quite a feat, indeed!

JodoForce · Post by **JodoForce** » 2003-06-18 11:24pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote: But you have to admit, my example was the most far-out and rediculous!

Most far-out and ridiculous != most fun

Awwww where's this supa Jesus Fr34k gone?

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-06-19 01:57am

Maybe he fell down an elevator shaft and is searching the void for his god.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-06-19 02:39am

Home school sex ed.....honor thy father and they mother

mauldooku · Post by **mauldooku** » 2003-06-19 10:02am

Kuroneko wrote:By far the most convincing argument for God/Creationism I've seen so far is the (apocryphal) one in my sig: "Sir, (a+b^n)/n = x, hence God exists; respond!"

I mean, you just can't argue with the math.

True. Then again, who can?

Slartibartfast · Post by **Slartibartfast** » 2003-06-19 08:03pm

Metrion Cascade wrote:Laughing so hard that milk is coming out of my nose despite the fact that I'm drinking Coke.

That's blasphemy! Only Jesus is allowed to transmutate beverages!

SeebianWurm · Post by **SeebianWurm** » 2003-06-19 08:41pm

And even that only on a daily basis, when he's level 6, ala Warcraft III

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-06-19 11:58pm

SeebianWurm wrote:And even that only on a daily basis, when he's level 6, ala Warcraft III

I must be level 5 at least then. Verily I say unto thee that I have many times transmutated beer into piss. (Just never before the Pharisees. They're the type to frown on that sort of thing.)