A New Outlook

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-20 11:43pm

It's about my outlook on women I guess. And no, GALE Force is not about to get a new member.

I've decided now that dating and sex and all that stuff isn't all that important to me anymore. Friendship is. So I've decided that when I meet a girl, I'm gonna go into it as a friend. I'm not going to try to make a date or a relationship or anything like that. I've tried that; it didn't work. So now I'm just going to try to make friends.

If it should develop into something more, than that's great. I'm not going to stop that. But it would be after I have known her for some time, and only if we both started to feel that way. I've decided that friendship is simply more important to me than dating, kissing, or any of that other physical stuff.

This change of attitude was brought on by hardship, at first. Last night, I was just about convinced I would give up on dating forever. Work hard for my career in the Navy, and maybe have some friends, but that was it. I reconsidered, however, and decided this would probably be the best approach. And, when I think about it, this is pretty much the same line, just a little less bleak than before. But my only regret that I can think of now, though, is that the event that brought about this change, for better or for worse it may turn out to be, may've cost me one of my friends. This is the girl that you all have heard about from me before (the infamous Prom Date). I discovered she now has a boyfriend, and that killed me. But what now kills me most is that I have not seen, or talked, to her in a month now. And she was a friend, a good friend, and I may've lost that. And that's the worst loss of all...

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-06-20 11:45pm

So it means every 7 years for you Mr Vulcan.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-06-20 11:48pm

Sounds like my new plan, as I broke up with Amstrad a little over 16 hours ago. I now plan to 'lay low' on the idea of dating until I know what to do.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-21 12:33am

Montcalm wrote:So it means every 7 years for you Mr Vulcan.

Har har... Go ahead. Make fun. But like I said, that's not the most important aspect of my life anymore.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-06-21 12:36am

Hey, good luck.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-06-21 12:37am

RogueIce wrote:
Montcalm wrote:So it means every 7 years for you Mr Vulcan.
Har har... Go ahead. Make fun. But like I said, that's not the most important aspect of my life anymore.

I've tried that, it builds up, a lot.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-06-21 12:38am

That "friend" stuff doesn't work that well. If you are attracted to her, it will be extremely difficult to just be a friend. Simply being close to her will be tantalizing agony if you desire her warm body under yours and you can't say it.

Not trying to bash your plan, just trying to remind you of the frustrations it might entail. I personally think it's better to make it clear that you're interested, but try to make it look like a lighthearted low-pressure interest, so that she doesn't get scared and she can feel comfortable taking her time about it.

Post by **RogueIce** » 2003-06-21 12:42am

Darth Wong wrote:That "friend" stuff doesn't work that well. If you are attracted to her, it will be extremely difficult to just be a friend. Simply being close to her will be tantalizing agony if you desire her warm body under yours and you can't say it.

Not trying to bash your plan, just trying to remind you of the frustrations it might entail. I personally think it's better to make it clear that you're interested, but try to make it look like a lighthearted low-pressure interest, so that she doesn't get scared and she can feel comfortable taking her time about it.

I guess we'll see. I have managed it before though. It's just when I go to make my intentions clear, it gets all screwed up. So I figure maybe wait, and somehow try to figure out if she even has an interest in me.

Though your idea of a "lighthearted low-pressure" interest thing is interesting, I admit. That may be the cause; coming forward with it too much or what have you. Certainly something to consider.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-06-21 01:15am

Whatever you do, if you are friends, and an opportunity opens up, for the love of sweet Christ, TAKE IT. Don't fiddledick around like I did worrying about "Well, is this approppriate? How will she take this?" You'll end up watching her get with another friend who was more decisive than you, and then you'll experience the unadulterated joy that is grinding your teeth in frustration and alternating between mentally punching you and him in the face every time you hang out with them.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-06-21 02:01am

By the way, I do not recommend the approach I used on Rebecca. In order to make my feelings clear, I told her that she gave me a hard-on.

Obviously, my approach was somewhat unconventional. Now, it's true that this somehow worked for me (perhaps it was the delivery), but I suspect it would have a very low success percentage if applied generally.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-06-21 02:03am

Darth Wong wrote:By the way, I do not recommend the approach I used on Rebecca. In order to make my feelings clear, I told her that she gave me a hard-on.

You're shitting me! And your sac is still intact?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-06-21 02:05am

Dalton wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:By the way, I do not recommend the approach I used on Rebecca. In order to make my feelings clear, I told her that she gave me a hard-on.
You're shitting me! And your sac is still intact?

I'm serious. She must have felt some sexual attraction to me before I said that, or her reaction would have been ... unpleasant

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-06-21 02:39am

Darth Wong wrote:
Dalton wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:By the way, I do not recommend the approach I used on Rebecca. In order to make my feelings clear, I told her that she gave me a hard-on.
You're shitting me! And your sac is still intact?
I'm serious. She must have felt some sexual attraction to me before I said that, or her reaction would have been ... unpleasant

Ya think Mike??

Have you ever asked?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-06-21 02:49am

Dalton wrote:Ya think Mike??

Have you ever asked?

She has since confirmed that she was "interested" from day one. She just mentioned it on her own one day; I didn't have to pry.

I reiterate, however, that I can't recommend that approach to others in good conscience

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2003-06-21 02:53am

Actually, that depends alot on the girl. 9/10ths of the time telling a girl that they give you a hard-on will at the very least land you in the creepy weirdo category and at worst will have you tasting your testicles for days. But for that magical fraction of the female populus, they just may find very funny. And humor is an aphrodesiac.

Of course, my romantic involvement with women has largely been what Matt Groening once accurately described as "I'm With Stupid x2", so this may not be normal for the general female populus.

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-06-21 02:59am

Not the best pickup line definitely...

As for RougeIce, do not, I repeat DO NOT allow another friend to grasp what you feel is rightfully yours. I was in a mental hell for an entire summer because I didn't tell this chick my feelings while Mr. Fuckhead aka "my best friend" comes up and takes her. Though I should say that he never knew my intentions until afterwards. Just as well; she turned into the biggest (literally!) 16 year-old crackwhore you'd ever meet.

This just reminded me of my year long crush...

I've talked to this girl for a little over a year online, and hung out a couple times, she seemed like she was incredibly smart for a teenage girl and we liked many of the same things. Well I made a mistake and instead of hitting on her (I don't hit on girls, if I still did my picture would be next to "jackass") we got into deep conversations about ourselves, and became close friends. I would also talk to her when I wasn't...mentally stable so now she thinks I'm an obsessive smotherer who likes to argue for the sake of arguing.

The last quarter of 2002 I was obsessed with her. Her greatest asset is that she's actually honest, which I can't say for 99% of other girls out there. I'd tell her I liked her, but no, she's not into me. She said I was like her "little brother," in that I annoyed her but she loved me. Around late December I kept bugging her just to try going on a date with me and since she didn't reject it at first I took it as a good sign.

Well Mr. Good Sign decided to have a heart attack that day. On New Year's this year she told me she got engaged, and my response was...unpleasant. Surprisingly I only flipped out over it for about 5 minutes until I cooled down. Next few months were spent in a daze.

We don't talk much anymore due to her hectic work schedule and generally hating to talk online these days, but I'm still her friend. Looking back I realized I treated her like shit. I never cared about her feelings at all really and just wanted mine to be appeased. I made her feel like a bitch because I never took 'no' for an answer and she was always honest in her responses, which were always 'Nos.'

A little before all that I would swear off women forever and try to ween myself off porn. I told her that I hated her for rejecting me and when she tried to break off our friendship, I realized I couldn't handle it and apologized. So that's why I can't ever say I'm going to try and never date again. I hate being wrong, and I always get shot by that little fuckhead Cupid, which inevitably leads to pain. So fuck it. I've given up on giving up. My getting blown off is like a cycle.

I feel like Pavlov's dog right now. I seem to assoiciate "Possible GF" with "Pain" so I avoid talking to girls. My aforementioned female friend was afriad of commitment (she broke up with that guy, not surprisingly). I want commitment, I'm afriad of trying, though.

PS: Seems like this should be put into the "VENTING MARK II" thread.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-06-21 02:59am

Darth Wong wrote:
Dalton wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:By the way, I do not recommend the approach I used on Rebecca. In order to make my feelings clear, I told her that she gave me a hard-on.
You're shitting me! And your sac is still intact?
I'm serious. She must have felt some sexual attraction to me before I said that, or her reaction would have been ... unpleasant

The time and place does make or break such a revelation...